


Missed Chances

by len1985



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-09-10 16:26:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 92,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8924101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/len1985/pseuds/len1985
Summary: Bernie and Serena are not together since Kiev. They don't really speak after Bernie comes back. Has Serena found someone else?





	1. Chapter 1

Serena was all dressed up and definitely with somewhere to go: slightly more fitted than normal black dress trousers accentuated her devastatingly shapely curves, that were usually hidden under something baggy. A charcoal chiffon V-neck blouse with a tight black vest top underneath – her top would be see through otherwise, but she wasn't 20 anymore – and soft grey heels elongated her legs and made her arse bounce just so, as she swayed her hips in walking. She had never looked better and Bernie seethed and smouldered at the sight. She must have plans, but she hadn't spoken an unnecessary word to the blonde since she'd returned from Kiev. Bernie had no idea where she was going. Or more importantly, who with. She couldn't stand it.

"Ready?" A man eclipses the light from the ward, blocking the doorway to their office.

"Robbie? What are you doing here? Ready for what exactly?" Serena doesn't look particularly pleased to see him. In fact she looks decidedly the opposite of pleased.

Bernie had heard about this Robbie pillock from Jason. They had slept together while Bernie was gone. Her fists clench at the thought. Surely Serena wasn't getting back with him.

"Our date tonight." He smiles at Serena as if butter wouldn't melt. You're fooling no one mate, Bernie inwardly rages.

"What are you talking about?" Serena is bewildered and irritated and she's not sure which more.

"Well, you're all dressed up and raring to go." He eyes up the brunette in her outfit, like some scrap of meat he's eager to devour.

"Yes. I have plans this evening. Just not with you."

Bernie almost contains her laugh. But she wasn't trying very hard, to be fair. Although, if Serena wasn't going out with Robbie, then who?

"Oh really. Quite a coincidence then that you just happen to be dolled up at the exact right time, here waiting for me for our dinner." Robbie smirks and Bernie wants to swipe it off his smug face, but she doesn't want to actually touch him.

"As I told you last week when you asked me. Again." Serena sounds exasperated, as if he never stops asking. "We are not dating. You and I are done, Robbie."

"So who are you waiting for then?" He looks confused. Surely Serena couldn't possibly have someone else, she was too busy lusting after him.

"That would be me."

They all turn to see a rather petite but quite lovely redhead hidden behind Robbie's husky frame. She offered them all a kind smile, which only widened when her eyes settled on Serena. She was a little shorter than the brunette and more compact, but even Bernie had to concede that she was striking. She hated her already.

Serena smiled fondly back at the woman for a moment before clearing her throat loudly. "Hi Jo." Serena was almost demure.

Bernie watched the two women for a time, sensing she was missing something...

"Oh hello. I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Robbie Metcalfe, Serena's boyfriend." He extended a handshake to this Jo.

"Ex boyfriend." Serena snapped. " This is Jo Phillips. She's one of the new PAs, assigned to Ric, poor thing, while he fills in as CEO until Hanssen comes back. She's only been here about 6 weeks or so. Some of us would have met her sooner, if they weren't too busy saving lives in Eastern Europe." Serena's tone is clipped as she regards Bernie coldly.

"Well, Jo it's nice to meet you. I don't suppose you mind cancelling your plans with our Serena here, so she and I can go on our date?" Robbie was incorrigible.

"Robbie! For the last time, you and I are not dating. Because...because..." Serena faltered. She couldn't tell him the real reason, not with Bernie sitting there and not when she hadn't told the woman herself, in private, that she was in love with her. If she ever stopped being angry long enough to speak to her at all.

"Because we are." Jo piped up. "Dating...I'm mean." She had struggled to watch the vascular surgeon flail and said the first thing that came to mind, to get rid of the man who was clearly making her so uneasy. She hoped she hadn't overstepped.

Three dropped jaws and three sets of bug eyes told her that perhaps she had.

"We are?!" Serena looks at her with a "what are you doing?" expression, while Jo returns a "just go with it" head tilt. "Yes, that's right, we are." It sounds more like a question than a certainty but Serena stands firm.

"So, darling. Are you ready to go yet?" Jo slips an arm around Serena's waist pulling her to her with a squeeze. "You look stunning, by the way." She winks at the brunette, who stands open mouthed.

Bernie was jealous as Hell. She hadn't seen the exchange between the two women and thought they were really dating. Though she had to admit the redhead had a good eye, Serena looked positively incredible.

"Yes, em. Sweetheart? Ready when you are." Serena drapes an arm around Jo's shoulder, trying not to giggle at Robbie's face.

He storms out in a huff and they all hope that's the last they'll see of him.

Both women dissolve into kinks of laughter still holding onto each other, as Bernie surveys, more than a little perplexed.

"Oh Jo. That was the best fun I've had in a while." Serena swipes away tears of joy. "Did you see his face when he thought we were dating. Thank you for rescuing me from that horrible idiot. You are such a great friend."

The penny drops for Bernie then, they were only pretending. She feels relief soothe her until she sees the look in Jo's eyes as she watches Serena. The redhead has it bad for Serena. And who could blame her? Jo's heart drops like a stone when Serena friend zones her.

"Serena?" Jo begins.

"Hm?" Serena lifts her head and seeing the serious expression Jo wore she adds. "Is everything alright?"

"I think we need to talk." Jo replies ominously.

"Sounds serious. We've only been pretend dating for about 3 minutes and you're already breaking up with me!" Serena tries to lighten the mood with a bright smile.

Bernie and Jo sigh simultaneously to see her gorgeous smile.

"Are we friends?" Jo puts it to her, no frills, no sugar coating.

"I hope so. Don't you think we are?" Serena looks a little hurt that she might be losing her companion. They'd only known each other a few weeks but she liked Jo immensely.

"You see, the thing is. I was rather hoping that we were more than just friends." Jo runs a finger across the back of Serena's knuckles as her hand rests on her desk, switching off her computer for the day.

Serena looks down at her hand being softy stroked by Jo and back up at the woman herself. "I don't understand." Serena genuinely seems confused.

"Shall I explain it to you?" Jo smiles and pushes up on her tiptoes, attempting to plant a kiss on Serena's lips.

Serena moves back instinctually, she grabs the tops of Jo's arms to hold her at bay. "Jo, I'm really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression of what was going on between us but -"

"You're straight?" Jo looks dejected.

"Not exactly." Serena hasn't really come up with an answer to that one yet.

"You're still in love with that Robbie fellow?" Jo tries again.

"God no!" Serena's sure on that one.

"Are you seeing someone else?" Jo's running out of options fast.

"No. I don't suppose I am." It was the truth.

"So what's going on? I thought we had a nice time together." Jo seems upset.

"We do. I do enjoy spending time with you. I just never thought anything of it." Serena had thought they really were friends.

"I want you to think something of it." Persistent little thing, isn't she? Bernie thought. They'd forgotten she was even there...

"Ok." Serena seemed to be agreeing with her. "You see the thing is...the thing is..." What, Serena, what is the thing?! "I'm not really...I'm sorry, I just -" Serena is gesturing nervously with her hands when Jo interjects.

"You're not attracted to me?" Jo was reasonably sure she had read the woman correctly, there was someone between them.

"I guess I hadn't really thought about you. Like that." Serena considers the redhead in front of her. She was rather good looking and Serena loved spending time with her.

"Listen, I'm not proposing marriage. I really like you and I thought you felt the same way. Why don't we just see how things go? No pressure." Jo offers her hand to the brunette.

"We could do that." Serena takes the proffered hand, gathering her bag and the two walk out hand in hand.

Neither released that Bernie had witness it all, crouched behind her monitor. Neither saw the tears in her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Bernie needed a drink after that. Honestly she needed the plural and lots of it. Serena was really going to start dating this Jo and Bernie had no right to do anything about it. And if it wasn't Jo, it would just be someone else eventually. She didn't consider herself the jealous type but that was probably because she'd never had reason to be: with Marcus she didn't really want him, so it wouldn't have bothered her if someone else did. With Alex there was no competition and no space to find anyone else to make her jealous with. Serena could have anyone she wanted and Bernie would sell her soul for it to be her. Fat chance! Assuming Serena would ever talk to her again, Bernie had destroyed anything that might have been, by hotfooting it to Ukraine. They would never be together now.

She sloped into Albies hoping to ingest copious amounts of alcohol. She would get completely sloshed and pretend that might help her forget Serena. Except she bloody couldn't because the brunette in question was here with her date. Fantastic. Bernie plonked herself down at the bar and ordered whiskey. Double. No need for any ice that might dilute the alcohol content in any way. Throwing it back, she signalled for another. The liquid burned its way down her throat and churned in her stomach. She could hear Serena's laughter ring throughout the space. Swivelling in her bar stool she realised she could watch them relatively unseen, as the pair huddled together in a corner booth. How fucking cosy. Jo was making a show of touching the brunette. Leaning in to whisper something obviously hilarious in her gorgeous ear. Bernie must be a glutton for punishment as she continued to stare at them like some sort of voyeur. She was heartbroken. Her chest in a vice would have been preferable. She waves the bartender over for another whiskey and settles in to watch the show.

Serena was actually having a really nice time. Jo was so much fun and it had surprised her how easy it was to laugh again. She knew they were both tactile so she hadn't read anything into all the touching. Now that she knew better, she couldn't help noticing it. It wasn't unpleasant, but was she attracted to the redhead? Could she picture the two of them together? In truth, not in the way images of Bernie and her just snuck into her mind at the most inopportune moments. No effort was even required and there they were holding hands, another breath and then she saw them exchanging presents on Christmas Day. Or do a food shop. Or kissing under mistletoe. Or arguing over who could use the shower first in the morning. Deciding that the most sensible resolution was to shower together. Her cheeks flushed as she realises just how far her imagination has taken her. Suddenly Jo was looking at her as if she'd asked a question to which Serena was now required to give an answer. She had not been paying attention, lost in fantasies of a lathered up trauma surgeon.

"Serena, are you even listening to me?" Jo fake pouts.

"Sorry Jo, I was miles away." Serena feels awful.

"How can I bring you back here?" Jo slips a hand into Serena's on the table, interlinking their fingers. She leans into the brunette's lips about to kiss her.

The shattering of glass startles them apart, both searching wildly for the source of the noise.

Bernie had slammed her whiskey glass down so hard on seeing the two women almost kiss and shattered it. Luckily no damage was done and neither seemed to have noticed her, but she slips outside quietly, tears falling, trying desperately to get air into her lungs.

Serena comes outside talking loudly into her mobile and doesn't see the blonde skulking in the shadows. Serena was standing right in her path now, she couldn't escape without Serena seeing her. Damn it! "Jason, honestly there's no reason why you can't watch Pointless without me. Alan is just as good at keeping you company, isn't he? Yes I will watch tomorrow's with you. I promise. See you tomorrow. Yes, that's fine. Take care. Bye." Serena smiles down at her phone, Jason was doing so well lately.

A noise behind her makes her jump. "Who's there?" she tries not to sound too terrified.

Bernie has to come out now or risk frightening the life out of her. "It's only me, Serena."

"Thank God, Bernie you almost gave me a heart attack." Serena clutches her chest relieved. "What are you doing back there?"

"Nothing. Just needed some air." Bernie wracks her brains for what to say next. Anything to keep her there a bit longer. Anything that means she'll talk to her at last. "Um, how's your date going?" Fuck, Bernie cursed herself. One, because she doesn't want to hear the answer. And two, because now Serena knows she's been watching them.

Serena is about to throw out a sarcastic retort but all she can muster is. "Fine, thank you."

"I hope everything works out for you." Bernie didn't hope that in the slightest.

"Do you?" The way Serena says it is part scorn, part disappointment.

"No." Bernie makes no attempt to deny it.

"Are you seriously jealous?" Serena is incredulous.

"Yes." Again no hesitation, no denial.

Serena didn't know how to respond to that. Bernie's heart beats like the clappers and she isn't breathing she's sure.

"She seems nice." Bernie winces. Why is she torturing herself?

"She is." Serena steels her glare on Bernie.

Bernie knows she shouldn't ask but she can't stop the words. "Is she what you want?"

"Why don't you tell me? That is your speciality after all." Serena is bitter and doesn't hide it. "If you're asking me if I want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't a coward. Yes. Do I want someone who wants me back? Yes. Do I want a proper, grown-up relationship? Yes. Do I want to be in love and not hurting? Yes. Someone who kisses me and isn't ashamed or afraid, who doesn't run at the first chance, who doesn't make me feel undesirable and foolish. Yes. Yes. YES!" Serena screams as she fights not to cry, not to give Bernie the satisfaction.

Bernie flies at her then. Kissing the brunette with a bruising force. Hands dragging over her. Committing every curve to memory, in case she never has another chance, in case Serena comes to her senses and wants nothing more to do with her. So far she is kissing her back, but Bernie kisses her like it could end at any moment. "I'm sorry." Bernie whispers against her skin. Her tears wetting Serena's face. "I'm so sorry." She had never been more sorry. "I shouldn't have left you. Please forgive me. Serena, please." Bernie isn't above begging. She will get down on her knees and do just that. Anything it takes.

"Serena?" Jo squints into the darkness, looking for the brunette.

Serena snaps back to reality. Pushing Bernie away from her.

"Serena, are you out here?" The redhead searches for her.

"Over here." Serena calls out to her.

Bernie shakes her head. She won't believe that Serena will walk away from her, even as she watches her do it. "Serena, please." Bernie holds out her hand, imploring her to take it. To stay here with her. To choose her.

Serena turns her back on the blonde, breathing deeply to keep from crying.

"There you are, where did you get to?" Jo rubs Serena's arms, sees that she looks shaken. "Are you ok?"

Bernie's heart disintegrates at Serena's reply. "Take me home, Jo. Please."


	3. Chapter 3

Silence reverberates off the walls of the car all the way back to Serena's place. Jo had offered to drive her home and the brunette accepted gladly. She was in no fit state to drive. Her head was swimming from Bernie's kisses. Her lips tingled with it. If she licks them she can still taste the whiskey. A deep longing takes hold and sinks to the pit of her stomach. And somewhere further south... She shivers and Jo turns up the heating, smiling at her. If only it were that simple. If only she was just cold. She realised too late that the lift could be misconstrued. Did Jo think she was going to invite her in for coffee? Or... Serena closed her eyes, she should set Jo straight. Pun not intended. Pinching at the bridge of her nose, she can feel a tension headache starting. She is busy trying not to let the drumming inside her head drive her insane, when she notices they have pulled up at her house.

"Um. Well, thanks for the lift. Night Jo." She smiles and her hand grips the door release handle, poised to dart from the car inside her front door.

"Third time lucky?" Jo quips, eyes shining.

Serena doesn't understand the significance until Jo is leaning in to kiss her goodnight. She turns Jo's head at the last minute and softly kisses her cheek.

"Ouch. Am I that bad a prospect? Not even on the forehead, Serena?" She jokes but she is a little disappointed.

"It's not that. You're great, you really are Jo. Anyone woman would be very lucky to have you. It's just..." Bernie, Serena almost says it out loud. "I should have told you. I'm in love with someone else. I'm sorry."

"Ms. Wolfe should consider herself blessed." Jo raises an eyebrow to check she's hit the mark and the look on the brunette's face confirms it.

"Am I that transparent?" Serena was anxious. She knew she'd never been any use at concealing her emotions.

"Goodnight Serena." Jo places a warm hand over Serena's and squeezes kindly.

Safely inside her bedroom. Alone. Serena begins to get ready for sleep. Once she's tucked up in the covers, sleep doesn't come. She can't stop thinking about kissing Bernie. Touching her fingertips to her lips, she can still feel the blonde there.

She trails her fingers down to the waistband of her pyjama bottoms. Slipping them inside, she startles at just how wet she is. This aching will only dull one way. She knows what she has to do. Stroking and coaxing and thrusting and grinding, she tries to think of Jo. She really is very pretty and a bit younger too. Serena should be flattered. All that long red hair and those green eyes. She creases her face in concentration, wills herself to keep thinking about Jo. Somehow the red locks become blonde curls and green eyes turn the darkest brown. Her fingers are not her own anymore, but Bernie's. Serena hastily unbuttons her top, fondling and pinching her nipple with the other hand. Her mind knows she shouldn't think of Bernie, but her body and her heart betray her. She wants her so much, she needs it to be her. Serena eases to an intense release that is both welcomed and begrudged, the woman who causes it seared into Serena's conscious. "Bernie!" She sobs out the word as she comes. Never have two syllables been said with such anguish and such desire.

Serena needs Bernie to be here now. She doesn't think as she lifts her phone from the bedside locker and fires off a text, this time she says what she should have said weeks ago: "I want you."

Meanwhile across town, Bernie had watched the woman she loves drive off in someone else's car. Heartbroken that Jo will most likely spend the night with her Serena. But she's not yours, you made sure of that. She taunts herself. It's surprising how sobering the thought of the person you love being with, really being with, someone that isn't you can be. Bernie stands staring at the empty space that the brunette had occupied only moments ago. Did she imagine her? No. Serena's taste still fills her mouth, her lipstick is still smeared on Bernie's lips and she knows it was real. This does little to numb the pain though.

Bernie feels able to drive home, so she does. Remembers nothing of the journey but arrives home unscathed. Or as unscathed as having your heart ripped from your chest and fed to you can be. As she lies under the sheets in her bed, she suddenly feels cold. She never much saw the need for pyjamas but that's not the reason and she knows it. Serena's warmth is all that could heal her now. A warmth that will now always be lacking. The weight of Serena in her arms, where she was always meant to be, had just felt so right. Her lips pressed tightly against Bernie's like they were made for the sole purpose of kissing her. Curves teasing her fingertips, so close but still too far away under all those clothes.

Bernie doesn't even register that she's touching herself until she gasps at her own wetness. She has none of the brunette's crisis of subject, not even endeavouring to think of anyone but Serena. She hadn't thought of anything else for months, why stop now? Serena covering her entire body with her own, skin on skin. Those hidden curves finally revealed and all for her. Serena's elegant fingers brushing all over her flesh, exploring her like an undiscovered secret. Serena's mouth between her legs, her hot tongue flicking out to complete her. Bernie looks down to herself and she swears she can see those chocolate eyes staring up at her, eyebrow raised seductively. She yearns to take a fistful of brown locks between her fingers and thrust the brunette's mouth to where she needs her most. "Oh Serena!" Bernie soaks her hand in a rush as she comes, nothing but Serena in her thoughts.

She lies there sated but unsatisfied, wishing Serena was really there. She jumps when her phone buzzes and she fumbles for it in the dark. A text. From Serena. Three words: "I want you."

Serena answers on the fourth ring, not sure she should pick up at all.

"Serena?" Bernie needed to hear her voice.

"Bernie?" Both women hope that the other can't sense what they've just done thinking about each other.

"I got your text." Bernie doesn't know what else to say.

"I'm...I shouldn't have sent it. I'm sorry." Serena wants to hang up.

"No wait, Serena please don't hang up." Bernie panics as she hears the phone move.

"Bernie, I don't know what came over me." Yes you do, thinks Serena. You came all over yourself. She blushes mortified. "I just. I miss you and I was lying here and I couldn't help myself."

Bernie jolts with realisation. Serena is in bed. Right now, talking to her. Did she sound any different? Breathless maybe? Has she...? But then maybe Jo... "Are you on your own?" Bernie cringes but she needs to know.

"Yes, Jo's gone. I mean she didn't...We didn't...Nothing happened." Serena was flustered.

Bernie lets out a relieved huff. "I want to come over. I have to see you." She's already out of bed, blindly trying to locate her clothes.

Serena wants that too, much more than she can articulate. "Don't." She hangs up.

Bernie stares at her screen as it beeps with the cut off tone.

They both cry themselves to sleep that night.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Bernie made her way into their office and Serena was already there. With Jo. Barely 8am and her day couldn't get any worse. Or so she thought...

"Morning." She smiles and nods at them both, noting Jo's rather familiar stance, perched on the edge of Serena's desk.

"Morning." Jo reciprocates the smile, Serena does not.

"So how about it? Cinema on Saturday night. My treat." Jo turns back to her conversation with the brunette.

"Oh go on then. I assume neither of us is going to get any work done unless I agree. Not one to take "no" for an answer, are you?" Serena smiles.

"Nope." Jo replies simply. "I'll pick you up, say 7.30pm?"

"Deal." Serena nods.

"It's a date." Jo positively coos.

"Jo..." Serena chastises.

"Relax, I'm kidding. I get it, we're just friends..." she seals the deal with a handshake "...with benefits?" She chuckles as she uses Serena's grasped hand to pull her in for a quick peck on the cheek.

"Get out." Serena laughs heartily, shaking her head.

Left alone, she and Bernie are at a bit of a loss.

"She was just kidding, about the friends with benefits..." Serena casts her eyes to the heavens. Shut up, Serena.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me." Bernie is cold and clipped.

"No. Right. Fine." Serena goes back to her paperwork and tries to concentrate.

After an interminable and excruciating silence, Bernie cracks first. "Serena, about last night..."

"Please, Bernie let's not go there." Serena didn't have the strength for this.

"I just don't understand." Bernie's eyes shine with tears. "You said you wanted me but then you -"

Serena interrupts her. "I just can't do this anymore, Bernie. What happens to me if you decide to run again? I can't let you break my heart again. I just can't."

"I made a mistake. I told you that I know I shouldn't have walked away from you. Please Serena, I want to be with you." Bernie was inconsolable.

"And what do I do when you change your mind? When you get scared and pull away from me?" Serena struggled not to cry, seeing Bernie's desolate face.

"I won't." Bernie was adamant.

Serena wanted to believe her. She just didn't know if she could. "This is for the best. We can move on with our lives, forget about all that's gone on before. You'll find someone else." Serena was dying inside.

"I can't watch you be with someone else. I won't. Seeing you with Jo tears me apart. I'm so jealous I can't think properly." Bernie is distraught.

"We'd just be making each other miserable, we could be happy with other people." Serena isn't even convinced by her own argument.

"I don't want anyone else! And neither do you." Bernie stepped up to the brunette until they were almost touching. "Well, tell me I'm wrong." She challenged.

Serena was wavering now but she had to be strong. "Bernie, this wouldn't work. I want a real relationship, one that I'm not constantly terrified of losing. I don't want to get hurt anymore. If we cut our losses now, maybe we can still be friends." She ignores Bernie's snorted indignation.

"You're not telling me I'm wrong though, are you?" Bernie clung to her last glimmer of hope.

"And you're not listening. We're done." Serena's lip quivers and she breaks eye contact. She tries to leave but Bernie has a hold of her wrist.

"I don't accept that. You look me in the eye and tell me you don't want us." Bernie is running out of hope.

"I want us more than anything, but it hurts too much." Serena is crying now, shaking with sobs. "You don't know what I went through everyday waiting for you to come back. Waiting for you to answer me. Waiting for something, anything that told me I wasn't alone in this." She gestures between them, signifying the romance that never came to fruition. "I go from expecting to have dinner and I don't know what else with you, to having to watch you walk away from me. From us. No real explanation. I thought I'd frightened you away. I thought you didn't want me." She shudders out a heartbroken breath.

"Don't ever think that." Bernie moves to wipe away the brunette's tears and her hands against Serena's cheeks make the vascular surgeon weak at the knees. "I more than want you. Serena I am in love with you."

Serena staggers at the confession. She hadn't dared to hope that she felt the same way.

"I'm not going anywhere. Let me prove it to you. I can't be without you, Serena." Bernie will do anything for her to believe her, to have another chance.

"Bernie." Serena isn't sure what to say, her eyes scan the blonde's face for some sign that she can trust this.

"I want to take you out. On a real date. Wherever you want to go. Just name the time and place." Bernie hedges all her bets.

"I...Can I think about it?" Serena hesitates and Bernie crumbles. "I'm not saying no. I promise to really think about it. As if I think of anything but you." Serena hadn't meant to be so honest.

"Let me give you some food for thought then." Bernie wasn't giving up without a fight. She kisses Serena with all the love in her heart. And kisses her. And kisses her some more. Serena doesn't seem too worried about stopping either, as hands and tongues become involved.

Serena drags herself away reluctantly. "I've thought about it. Take me to dinner on Thursday night. Pick me up at 7pm."

Bernie beams and immediately starts planning in her head. She had to make this perfect. No pressure then...


	5. Chapter 5

Thursday couldn't come quick enough for the two surgeons on AAU. Bernie had booked a table at the Italian they had been to before Kiev. She knew it was risky but Serena had suggested it, and she had promised they could go wherever she wanted. She had a spring in her step all morning and couldn't stop smiling. She was dating Serena Campbell. They were going on a date. Tonight. Things could not be better.

They were in the office briefly to grab something small for lunch – coffee and a pain au chocolat to be exact – and chatting excitedly.

"All set for tonight? I'll pick you up at 7pm?" Bernie smiled at the brunette, coming back from Pulses with their goodies.

"Yep. Looking forward to it. Jason's not back till Sunday so you could come in for a Shiraz after, if you'd like." Serena was giddy.

"I think I might like that." Bernie moved round to place a quick kiss to Serena's cheek, setting her lunch down in front of her. "We could have a proper talk if that's ok? There are some things I'd like to say, that you deserve to hear but I'd like dinner to be about romance." Bernie was really trying and Serena was deeply touched.

"Yes I think a bit of romance would be just what the doctor ordered." Serena chuckled at her own silliness.

Bernie was just leaning in to give her another kiss when Jo barged in, forcing them apart.

"Hey, Serena. I don't suppose you fancy a drink after work tonight?" Jo hadn't wanted to wait until Saturday to see the brunette again.

"Sorry Jo. I can't tonight, already have plans." Serena offered no further explanation.

"We're having dinner." Bernie smiled triumphantly.

Serena's jaw almost fell off. Bernie was telling everyone about their date, she looked so proud. Serena was secretly pleased. Bernie did seem to be making an effort to be more open.

"Oh how lovely." Jo was not impressed. "Well, how about a rain check?"

"Sure." Serena smiled but she was looking at Bernie.

Once Jo was gone Bernie piped up. "She likes you."

"She knows about you. I told her. I made it clear that she and I are just friends. Is it a problem?" Serena was hoping jealous Bernie might be done with now that they were actually dating.

"No. I just don't want anyone else hitting on my woman." Bernie teased as she winked at the brunette.

"Yours, am I?" Serena liked the sound of that.

"Well, I mean...I would like you to be." Bernie had gone a bit shy.

"It's ok, Bernie I knew you were playing and actually I would like me to be yours too." She came round to the blonde's side of the desks and pulled her to her. Gently tracing her lips with a finger, she follows it was a kiss.

"I just want to do this right. I'm serious about us. I want to show you." Bernie had never been more sincere.

"I know. You are showing me, relax. Just be you." Serena didn't want Bernie to be nervous or uncomfortable. "Now I'm afraid we have to get some work done before tonight."

A little while later Bernie was searching for supplies for a patient when she heard hushed voices enter the store.

"Jo, what are you doing? Why on Earth are you shoving me into the supply closet?" Serena had thought the redhead wanted to talk but the location was an odd choice to say the least.

"Oh Serena come on, you know I didn't really drag you in here to talk. Stop being such a tease." The redhead was small but surprisingly strong, she pushed Serena against the nearest shelving and was about to kiss her.

"Jo what are you doing? No! Stop it!" Serena was confused and clearly not interested.

"Hey, she said no. Leave her alone!" Bernie jumped out ready to throttle Jo.

"Oh good here she is. Come to rescue you from a healthy relationship with someone who actually cares about you." Jo crossed her arms, glaring at the blonde.

"Jo, don't!" Serena warned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bernie snapped.

"I know all about you and Serena. How you legged it when you had your chance to be with her. She deserves better."

"Oh really, like you?" Bernie wanted to squash the woman under her heel, she was probably small enough.

"Precisely!" Jo stepped up to the blonde while Serena watched helplessly.

"Stop it both of you!" Serena was furious. "I'm not some prize for you to fight over. I'm a grown woman and I can make my own decisions. Bernie calm down, nothing happened and I'm fine. And Jo, we've been through this. I'm in love with her, and you and I are just friends."

"What did you say?" Bernie was gobsmacked.

Serena hadn't realised what she said until it was too late. "I love you. Obviously I wanted to say it in slightly more intimate and romantic settings but here we are." She smiles shyly.

Bernie breaks into the widest smile imaginable and takes Serena's hands in her own. That was Jo's cue to leave them to it.

Serena smiles up at the blonde. "I do love you, Bernie. I'm sorry you had to find out like this."

"Don't be." Bernie captures Serena's lips for a tender kiss. "I love you too."

Their tender kissing picks up pace until they're losing control and Bernie is the first to pull away.

"Serena, as much as I'd love to ravish you here and now, I think a bed might be more appropriate if you want romance. Besides, you and I have a shift to finish and a date to get to." She kisses the end of her nose and links their hands, leading them to the ward.

Just as it comes to clocking off time, Jo enters their office looking sheepish. Bernie immediately stands taller ready for battle.

"I haven't come for a fight." Jo eyes the blonde warily, she could probably flatten her. "I just wanted to apologise for my reprehensible behaviour earlier. My ex cheated on me and I should never have tried it on with you when I know you're not available."

Serena smiled warmly. " Let's forget about it. Yes?" she looks between the two women in front of her.

"Yes please." Jo is grateful that Serena wants to ignore what a fool she'd made of herself.

"OK." Bernie remains a little sulky but she'll come round. "Actually I have a rather novel idea. How about a double date on Saturday? You were heading to the cinema, right? I think I might have a friend you would like, Jo. If you're up for it?" Bernie smirks at her own brilliance. The two women would get on like a house on fire.

"Alright." Jo seems a little sceptical. "Why not? Enjoy your evening you two." She smiles a genuine smile and heads out.

"A friend, huh?" Serena is a little surprised. Bernie was always such a loner.

"Yes. We've kept in touch and she knows all about you, bent her ear something shocking really. I'm shocked she's still speaking to me " Bernie blushed thinking about the state she'd been in many times over the brunette.

"Oh." Serena was a bit hurt that Bernie had confided in someone else about their relationship instead of talking to her.

Bernie sensed what was bothering her. "That's done now. I promise to talk to you from now on. I want this to work, I've never wanted anything more. And I know that will only happen if I try to be honest with you. Alex was just there when I needed someone to talk to."

"Alex? As is your ex girlfriend Alex? You want to set Jo up with Alex?" Serena kept saying the woman's name as if she was choking. "You don't mind, I mean you don't have feelings for her anymore?" It was Serena's turn to look jealous.

"Truthfully. No. Nothing like what I feel for you. She knows that and we're friends. It was her who made me realise that I had to come back. For you." Bernie had never loved Alex the way she did Serena and Alex had changed since she came back. They weren't interested in each other like that now.

"I guess I should thank her then." Serena smiled and cuddled up to the blonde, who placed a kiss to the top of her head. "Do you think they'll get on?" Serena's eyes twinkled with mischief at the idea of playing matchmaker.

"Only one way to find out." Bernie winked.


	6. Chapter 6

Serena was ready and waiting with her coat on when Bernie pulled into the driveway to pick her up. She was a little eager to start the date as quickly as possible, she'd hardly given Bernie a chance to ring the doorbell, when she swung the door open and they made their way to the car hand in hand. Bernie held the passenger door open and proffered a hand to help Serena into her seat. Both women were nervous but buzzing with excitement. They chatted excitedly all the way to the restaurant and linked hands over the middle console every time Bernie had to stop for a red light etc. The blonde occasionally squeezed Serena's thigh affectionately as she changed gear. Serena's body hummed in response. Before long they were in the car park and Bernie was pulling into a space serendipitously close to the entrance. She made a great show of running round the car to open Serena's door again, bowing slightly to hold her hand and help her up. Once inside, the chivalry didn't end there: she leaned down to gather Serena's coat by the collar and help her remove it, while giving their reservation details to the waiter. As she slipped the coat away from Serena's body, her perfume wafted up to fill Bernie's senses with her gorgeous scent. Handing their coats over to be hung up, she stayed behind Serena so she could sweep her hands down either side of the brunette to rest in the crooks of her arms. Placing a soft kiss to the nape of Serena's neck, she was rewarded with a rush of goosebumps spattering the brunette's skin.

"You smell delicious." She whispers into Serena's hair. Her desire for this woman never fails to surprise her. Not just the lustful needs that were a fierce undercurrent to every interaction, Bernie was struck in that moment by how much she wanted to make love with Serena. A wish to really belong to her that she has never known with anyone else.

As they take their seats they take in each others outfits for the first time.

Serena was wearing a sleeveless, satin crew neck dress in a deep red colour which was stunning, with silver heels and lips to match her dress. Bernie had chosen to wear a simple but elegant black cocktail dress with nude heels, her hair swept up in a clip and minimal, effortlessly striking make up.

"You are beautiful." They say in unison and laugh.

Once they had ordered their drinks, both opting for just a glass of wine this time, they glanced at the menu and then sat holding hands over the table.

Suddenly Bernie reached under the table for something in her bag and she produces a long, slim gift box. "I wanted to give you something to mark the occasion." She blushes and adds. "I hope you like it."

"Bernie there was no need." Serena feels a little embarrassed that she hadn't thought to get the blonde anything. She slowly opens what is clearly a jewellery box to reveal a beautiful silver bracelet. The entire chain is made up of encircled diamonds at intervals and there is a tiny heart charm at the clasp on one end. "Oh Bernie. I can't accept this, it's too much!" Serena's eyes fill with tears.

"Yes you can. Here, let me help you put it on." Bernie takes it from the box and places it on Serena's wrist, watching the brunette twirl her wrist to view it from every angle.

"Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?" Serena's smile steals her breath. The gift was absolutely the right choice.

"Never." Bernie doesn't even glance at the bracelet, she only sees Serena.

They eat their meal and talk and laugh and hold hands. Feeding each other forkfuls of what they're having and sharing a tiramisu for dessert. It is a lovely evening and they thoroughly enjoy themselves.

"I feel bad that I didn't get you a gift." Serena says as they pull back into her driveway.

"Actually I had an ulterior motive for the bracelet, it's a present for me in a way." Bernie smiles as she switches off the engine.

Serena quirks her eyebrow intrigued.

Bernie hopes she isn't speaking out of turn when she explains. "I had hoped to make love to you while you're wearing nothing but the bracelet."

Serena's heart beats wildly in her chest.

"But I promised we would talk first." Bernie wants to do things properly and Serena deserves to hear this.

As they cuddle up on Serena's couch, glasses of Shiraz in hand, Bernie feels a bit apprehensive. This is all new to her.

"I've had a wonderful time tonight. Thank you for my beautiful gift." Serena kisses her softly. "Bernie, there's no rush. You wanting to talk is progress in itself and we don't have to hash over everything all tonight, do we?"

"Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done. It's the biggest mistake of my life and I am so sorry, Serena. For hurting you. For not being here for you, when you were probably just as scared and confused as I was. Maybe even more so, because you've never been with a woman before. I should have been here, I should have been brave enough to tell you the truth. There are so many things I wish I could do differently. I swear to you, I will never do it again. And I will spend everyday of the rest of our lives trying to put it right." Bernie's eyes never leave Serena's and the brunette knows with all her heart that she means every word.

Serena kisses her. "Bernie I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you beside me in all things and I will love you always."

They kiss in earnest now and the Shiraz is quickly forgotten. "Stay with me tonight." Serena whispers against Bernie's lips.

"Are you sure?" Bernie searches her face.

"Yes." Serena takes her by the hand and leads her to the bedroom.

Bernie was in Serena Campbell's bedroom. She felt a bit awestruck and was nervous. Serena had never been with another woman, what if she didn't really want that between them? Sex.

"I have a confession to make." Serena sidles up to her suggestively. "When I texted you the other night..." Serena leans in to whisper in her ear "...I had just pleasured myself while thinking of you."

Bernie needed to sit down. All the breath left her body and her clit throbbed at Serena's words. "Serena, me too." The look in her eyes conveys her meaning.

"Really? What was happening in this little fantasy of yours? How did I touch you?" Serena unzips Bernie's dress and urges her to step out of it, before unclipping her hair to let the soft curls fall out. They remove their shoes as Serena's eyes blaze into the blonde.

"You were between my legs, making love to me with your mouth." Christ, Bernie was so wet, she watches Serena take off her dress and they're both in their underwear.

"Would you like that?" Serena pushes her down on to the bed and kneels above her.

"Yes. Oh God, Serena yes." Bernie can feel the desire pulsing through her whole being.

Serena quickly takes off the rest of their clothes and gasps when they are skin on skin for the first time. She kisses Bernie as her hands become acquainted with the blonde's curves. The weight of her breasts in Serena's hands is a new and exhilarating sensation. Serena leans down to suck a firm nipple into her mouth and Bernie arches into her, moaning her name. She draws concentrated circles with her tongue as her fingers pinch the other nipple. Drawing a thigh between Bernie's own, she is shocked and aroused by the wetness coating her flesh. She grinds her thigh closer and Bernie cries out.

Serena sucks her way up the blonde's throat and up to her mouth, to thrust into her with her tongue. She runs it along the backs of Bernie's top teeth and is triumphant when Bernie gasps into her mouth. Simulating exactly what she will do to her centre with her tongue, she explores the inside of Bernie's mouth. Hands discovering every inch of the blonde's body. She is still wearing the bracelet, just as Bernie had wanted and it's coldness compared with the heat of Serena's hands is an oddly arousing combination against the blonde's skin.

Pulling away from her mouth, Serena begins her deliberate descent to where Bernie wants her. She shudders when their nipples brush against each other but she focuses on Bernie. Tucking her arms underneath the blonde's legs to circle back around her hips, she has her goal in sight now. Her breath is warm against Bernie's lips and the nearness causes Bernie to thrust up instinctively.

Serena covers her in wet, open mouthed kisses and tickles at her with her fingertips.

"Please. Serena I need you." Bernie begs. She looks down at her with such desperation that Serena can't help but grant her wish.

She is hesitant at first, not really sure what to do to please the blonde, but she wants to be with her entirely and Bernie seems enthralled with her attempts. She is very much enjoying herself, if the moans are anything to go by, in fact Serena could swear she was already about to...

"Jesus, Serena I'm coming!" Bernie tenses her whole body as the orgasm rips through her, clinging to Serena's hair and holding her in place. "Oh shit. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so quick but I've wanted you for so long." Bernie pants as she struggles to get the words out. Her body shakes with the force of what's just happened and she can feel her heart pounding against her ribs.

"I'm not complaining about being wanted." Serena smiles as she strokes Bernie softly. "Maybe you would like a slower one though..." She looks positively impish as she begins to work Bernie back up to another orgasm. Alternating between gentle rubs of her clit with one finger and quick flicks with the tip of her tongue. Bernie has no time to adjust to the varying textures and the suspense of not knowing which touch will be next is heavenly.

"Serena..." Bernie sighs out her name with all the strength she can muster. The brunette is soft and takes things slowly, trying to prolong the end release for her and Bernie has never felt so good. Knowing with absolutely certainly that she will climax again is incredibly reassuring and arousing at the same time. Seeing Serena there between her thighs is hot as fuck and she can feel an intense release building as her legs start to shake either side of Serena's head. "Oh, I'm..." Bernie can't tell her that she cums again but the long, low moan that escapes is evidence in itself. She's not sure how long it lasts but it is the most fantastic orgasm she's ever experienced. She cries out into the room as she cants up into Serena's... She's not sure, is it her fingers? Her tongue? Who knows? "Fuck." She falls back flat on to the bed exhausted and wholly satisfied, a sated smirk gracing her lips.

Serena moves up beside her and kisses her cheek. "Was it ok?" She asks shyly, uncertainty deep in her gorgeous eyes. "I've never, well you know." She shrugs in apology.

Bernie's heart swells with love for the brunette as she reaches for her. Letting Serena settle on to her back, she straddles her and kisses her fervently. "That was the most incredible thing I've ever known. Twice." She cups Serena's cheek with one hand. "I'd never really understood why they call it making love until now." Kissing her again, Bernie wants to burst with happiness and she wants to give Serena the same feeling.

She brushes her lips over every part of the brunette's skin, leaving soft kisses to smooth curves and taking her time to enjoy finally having Serena here at her fingertips. She smiles against her skin when soft gasps leave Serena every so often, taking note of the areas for later, more in depth attention. For now she wants to see everything and there's no rush. Serena deserves to be adored and Bernie is more than up to the job. How could one woman have such perfect breasts, perfect hips, perfect thighs, perfect everything? Bernie strokes each part before kissing it, having Serena to touch and taste completely was amazing. There is not a single thing that Bernie doesn't relish exploring of the other woman.

Working her hands and lips back up over Serena's stomach, she mutters against her. "You're beautiful." Tickling across her middle. "Absolutely beautiful." On up to her breasts. "Breath-taking." She takes her nipple between her teeth, tugging lightly. "Total perfection." Serena has never felt more desired and desirable. The sincerity of Bernie's declarations makes her teary. "Serena, oh Serena. I love you. I've never loved anyone the way that I love you. Let me show you." She mumbles against Serena's skin and moves her hand to touch her wetness .

Serena groans as she reaches down to cover Bernie's hand with her own, coaxing her to continue. "Make love to me, Bernie. I want to feel you inside me." Bernie kisses her neck as she slips into her and uses her other hand to caress one of her breasts. "Tell me you want me."

"You know I do." Serena pants as the sensations take over and she is lost to the inevitability of release flooding her soul. "I love you." She arches up into Bernie.

Bernie is tender and gentle, teases her to exquisite completion, slowly pushing her hips into her hand which in turn thrusts her deeper into the brunette. This is precisely what she wanted it to be, a meeting of souls, a tangling of bodies, their hearts no longer their own but the other's. She studies the effect of her actions on the woman beneath her. Serena is flushed and covered in a light sweat, she looks more beautiful than she has ever seen her. Her eyes shine with desire and longing, Bernie can see the love she has for the blonde in the small smile tugging at her lips, the shuddering as Bernie moves in and out of her, the lifting of her hips to have more of Bernie inside her.

Wanting to see her fall apart in her arms, Bernie draws her up off the bed and pulls her as close as she can. Kissing her tenderly she keeps up her pace inside her. Serena was achingly close and she cried out in Bernie's strong embrace as her head flew back. She shudders in Bernie's arms and her head falls on to the blonde's shoulder as she cums. "Bernie I'm coming. I love you. I'm coming." And she does and it is incredible. Bernie clings to her, slowly everything down to ease her through her release.

They stay like that, wrapped in each other and softly kissing. They stop only to stare at the other and offer words of love, before lying down and floating off into the most glorious sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

It takes Serena a moment to realise that she isn't alone in her bed. It's been a while since she woke up with anyone. She turns her head to get an eyeful of unruly blonde curls and she smiles at the thought of last night. Had she ever felt so close to someone? And not just physically, although that was wonderful. She draws tiny heart shaped patterns all over the blonde's back with her finger and silently laughs at the corniness. Placing a soft kiss to Bernie's naked shoulder, she slips from the bed to perform a quick mercy dash to the loo to relieve her bladder, before sneaking back under the covers and cuddling up to her lover again. Knowing they are both off today, she falls back to sleep holding Bernie tightly.

When they wake a few hours later, they are still locked in a loving embrace and both sigh contentedly at the weight of the other's body against their own. Bernie can feel Serena's breasts against her back and having her bum pressed firmly in to Serena's front is blissful. Bernie reaches her free hand round to grab Serena's bum pulling her impossibly closer, to grind her arse against Serena's cunt. It seems she will never get enough of this heavenly creature beside her and she is high on being this near to her, in her bed, after having done what they did last night. She quickly spins to press them front to front and kisses Serena as they lie flush against each other. Running her hand up and down the brunette's side, she knows where this is heading. Knows what her body wants. What her heart wants too.

She presses on Serena's top shoulder to ease her flat to the mattress and kneels above her. Serena Campbell first thing in the morning is simply divine, as she had somehow known she would be. With the slightest hint of last night's lipstick still smeared on her lips from all their kisses and her hair sticking up in every direction, Bernie can hand on heart say that there was nothing more beautiful in the entire universe. Oh dear Major, you've got it bad, she thinks as she keeps kissing the brunette. Bernie presses "I love you's" to Serena lips as she hungrily takes her mouth with hers. Peppers the words all over her skin as she works her way down her front, gently wishing her "good morning" with soft nips to both nipples and travelling lower for her first taste of Serena.

"Bernie." Serena feels her whole body tingle as she realises what's about to happen. She can't remember ever being this insatiable before, but she's keyed up and ready for the blonde when the first flick of Bernie's tongue meets her clit. "Yes!" Serena is beside herself with pleasure as the blonde's warm tongue works on her. "That feels so good." She grips the sheets and lifts her head so she can watch Bernie lick her out. One of the blonde's hands comes up to pinch her nipple in time with her strokes. She rubs the length of Serena's body with the hand before bringing it back to her breasts. And so the pattern goes while she builds up a perfect rhythm on the brunette's clit. All at once both hands open Serena up wider to allow more access and the pressure increases. Serena can feel herself losing control and it is titillating.

"I'm so close, Bernie. Watch me cum for you." Serena seeks out those beautiful brown eyes and once they meet hers she is gone. Bernie watches as her orgasm hits Serena full force and she stiffens head to toe. Crying out she quakes in ecstasy as Bernie's tongue keeps her in the throes of release. Once she comes back to her senses, she collapses on to her pillow. Her breathing is heavy and her heart threatens to break through her chest.

Bernie comes up to kiss her, letting her taste herself and wallow in post orgasmic glow. She wraps her in her strong, warm arms and whispers to her through the aftershocks. "You are truly amazing, Serena. This is all I could ever want. Being with you, like this. Never could I have hoped it would be so wonderful, that you would want me. You are the best thing to ever happen to me." Bernie keeps kissing her as tears fill her eyes. "Please believe me when I say I will never hurt you again. I am in love with you."

Serena sees the tears and she kisses them all away. Placing Bernie's hand over her heart she wills her to trust how much she loves her. "My heart beats for you, my love. Only you. I am in love with you too and I never thought I could feel like this. You make me feel alive, Bernie. I never realised it was supposed to be this wonderful."

They hold each other for a little while longer, until Serena nuzzles the blonde's neck and whispers. "What would you like to do today?" She smiles at the thought of spending a whole day with Bernie.

"We could stay here." Bernie teases. Really she would like to take Serena out again. "How about we head into town and just wander around the shops? We could grab a bite to eat, see where the day takes us."

Serena likes the sound of that. They get up and, under the guise of saving water, shower together, each admitting it was the first time they'd ever had shower sex. That would most definitely be happening again. Getting dressed, they concede that Bernie probably can't wear her dress for a shopping trip and that they will stop by her flat on the way for some more clothes. Serena makes them a quick breakfast before they head out, smiling at the day stretching out in front of them.

A quick dash upstairs to her apartment and Bernie comes back to the car dressed in ridiculously skinny jeans and a cowl neck jumper with her cream coat over the top. Serena smiles of how easy it is for her to look amazing. "Right, to the shops." Bernie drives them to the local shopping centre and they saunter hand in hand round the various offerings.

Bernie should have known that Serena Campbell was an Olympian level expert at shopping. Her love of all types of bargains and her eye for spotting them, meant that she would squeeze Bernie's hand excitedly and drag her over to look at just about anything on sale. Bernie enjoyed seeing her in her element, smiling at her cute little squeals of glee and her infectious enthusiasm for life. It didn't hurt that she was treated to accompanying her to the changing room to try on various items. She was surprised that they got any shopping done at all, as they snogged like teenagers behind the curtain in quite a few shops. The lingerie section was undoubtedly their favourite, although both pouted a little that it was the one changing room they didn't share. A little mystery never hurt anyone.

"Do you think I'll need a new outfit for tomorrow night?" Serena was eyeing up a pretty top to go with her favourite jeans, thinking of their double date.

"I think you'll look beautiful no matter what you have on. Although I'd much prefer you to wear as little as possible." Bernie kisses the tip of her cute little nose. She was really enjoying this day of simple pleasures with Serena. Just doing normal couple things was heart-warming and she'd never known it to be so easy. She smiled to herself when she realised that she'd just thought of them as a couple.

"What's that smile for?" Serena wraps her arm around the blonde's waist.

"I'm just so happy to be spending so much time with my incredible girlfriend." Bernie tenses as she realises what she's just said. "I mean I -"

Serena looks at her with wide eyes at the implications of the title. "Bernie?"

"I'm sorry, it just sort of slipped out. I know we haven't really talked about what this is between us." Bernie blushes furiously.

Serena links their hands and kisses her knuckles. "This is a relationship. At least, that's what I feel in my heart. One which I intend to stay in for as long as you'll have me."

"How about for always?" Bernie kisses her with all her heart.

"Much longer, my love." Serena caress her cheek.

They walk around in a blissful bubble holding hands until it's time to have some lunch. Stopping at a small cafe, they sit for ages talking and laughing while they eat. Neither able to keep the smile off their face at how right this all feels.

"So what did Alex say when you asked her to go on this double date?" Serena even wanted Bernie's ex to be as happy as they were now and Jo deserved a break.

"She sounded quite excited. Since she's not long back she hasn't really had time to think about looking for someone, but now she's likely to stay home, I think she'd like to settle down." Bernie had been glad to stay friends with Alex, she was very supportive through everything with Serena and it would be nice to see her find love. She'd never fully understood that they hadn't really been in love until she compared it to how she felt about Serena. "I thought it might take the pressure off if I drove Alex and you brought Jo. If that's ok? That way if they don't get on, we don't all have to suffer on the drive home."

"Sounds like a good idea. We'll meet you at the cinema, say 7.15pm? If all goes well we could all go out for a drink afterwards. Or if it goes really well, you and I could have a late dinner alone." Serena winks.

"Fingers crossed things go really well then." Bernie wanted to spend every available second with Serena now that they'd made it this far.


	8. Chapter 8

"So tell me more about this Jo?" Alex was a bit nervous if she was honest. She hadn't been on a real date in a very long time. Not much chance of romantic candlelit dinners for two where she'd been stationed until just recently. She'd decided it was her last post and taken a job at one of Holby's other hospitals because it was time to come home. Wanting a normal civilian life, she hoped to find someone to share it with. She'd had a couple of meaningless flings since she and Bernie parted ways, but it was time to be serious. She had known fairly quickly that she hadn't really been in love with the blonde, once she interacted with her outside the confines of a war zone. They were great friends now though and what she truly wanted was someone to light her up the way Serena did Bernie. It had been tough to watch Bernie suffer over another woman, but she hadn't felt jealousy at all and she knew that her best friend was completely happy for the first time since she'd known her.

"Em, well she's got red hair. Works at the hospital. Last girlfriend cheated on her apparently." That was all Bernie really knew.

"I thought you were friends. That's not a lot to go on." Alex looked puzzled.

"Ok, you caught me. She's Serena's friends really and I panicked because she fancies my girlfriend." Bernie was purple with shame.

"Jeez, thanks Bern. So you're telling me I'm some sort of distraction so that she stops flirting with your girl!" At least she was laughing about it.

"I'm sorry Al, I'm jealous. Can't help it, but I did honestly think you would like each other." Bernie felt bad for using her friend slightly but if it all worked out, it would be one hell of a story for the grandkids. She smiled as she thought of growing old with Serena, surrounded by grandchildren and still as much in love, even grey and old (who was she kidding? Nothing about Serena Campbell could ever be described as grey. She was vibrant, vivid, full definition colour!)

"Earth to Bernie, you zoned out on me there. Where were you? Oh I know. With Serena. I can tell by the look on your lovesick face." Alex bumped shoulders with her friend, smiling and hoping beyond hope that she might have a similar expression on her own face in the not too distant future.

Bernie looked smugly embarrassed at being caught out, lost in reverie about the possibility of life with Serena. She shuffled nervously as they waited outside the cinema for the other two women to arrive.

"Will you relax. They'll be here soon, you brought us ridiculously early in your eagerness to see your girlfriend. Not as if you only saw her yesterday or anything." Alex teased. "I'm meant to be the nervous one, you could have set me up with some serial killer for all you seem to know about her!" They laughed at that and Bernie felt some of the tension lift. Serena would be here soon and everything would be perfect.

Serena pulled up to Jo's and beeped the horn for her to come out. She drummed the steering wheel in time with the song on the radio. She hoped they wouldn't be late to meet the other two, she couldn't wait to see Bernie again. Even though it had hardly been more than 24 hours since she'd last spent time with her. It was rare for them to have 3 days off back to back and it was a shame most of today had been spent apart to prepare for the double date. Bernie hadn't been back from the Ukraine very long and already Serena found herself considering their future together. Was it silly of her to have jumped so far ahead of herself? She hoped not, in reality she had been aware of her feelings for the blonde long before their first kiss. Would it be too presumptuous to hope that Bernie thought of them sharing their lives too? God she wanted nothing more!

"Hey, Serena! All set then?" Jo startled her out of her daydream with the slam of the car door.

"Yes. Yep, absolutely. Let's go!" Serena was so keen to see her girlfriend again. She loved the sound of calling her that, even if it was just inside her own head mostly...

"Listen. I just wanted to apologise again for being so awful. When I think of what a nightmare I've been... Talk about bunny boiler! I really hope you and Bernie are so happy together." And if I could have the same please, that would be much appreciated. She silently added, hoping to find someone. Who knew, maybe this Alex would sweep her off her feet?!

"It's fine, Jo. Don't worry about it." Serena didn't want to rake over it all and keep giving it more importance than necessary.

"Do you think that Alex will like me?" She asks hopefully.

"I don't see why not. You have loads going for you and you are great fun to hang out with." Serena smiled at her friend as she drove.

"Is she nice?" Jo hadn't really heard much about her from the brunette.

Serena didn't actually know. "Jo, I have to confess that I've never met her myself." Serena waited for the tirade of protestations from the redhead about being dragged along to meet a total stranger to them both.

Serena saw her friend shake with laughter and was relieved that she wasn't cross. "Touché Ms Wolfe. She's good." Jo giggles. "What you're saying is that you two would rather have been alone tonight, now you're so sickeningly in love? So you're forcing me on some poor unsuspecting friend of Bernie's." Jo's eyes shine with laughter.

Serena parked at the cinema and they headed to meet the other two by the entrance as arranged. Jo was starting to look anxious and Serena wrapped her arm around her kindly. "She'll love you. Just remember she'd be lucky to have you."

"Sorry, I haven't been on a date for such a long time. Well, except my failed attempts with you. Not much of a track record!" Jo smiled warmly.

Serena laughed at that and was glad they were friends again.

Bernie saw her coming a mile off. Like her heart was trained to always find her. She was in jeans, high heel boots and the cream coat with black piping that Bernie liked. The blonde beamed as she watched her approach. Jo might have been with her but Bernie could only see Serena, the rest of the world blurred to nothing.

Serena spotted Bernie and had to stop herself from breaking into a sprint and jumping into her arms. Every step felt like a lifetime until they would be close again. Like Bernie, she didn't register the other woman at all. They were both besotted with each other.

They forgot themselves entirely when they were face to face. Wrapping around each other and kissing passionately, while the other two women were left to fend alone.

"So, you must be Jo?" Alex offered reaching a hand out in greeting.

"That's me." The redhead's smile was quite disarming. "And I guess you're Alex." They shook hands enthusiastically.

"Shall we leave them to it? There's a cafe inside so we can wait there for the film to start, if you fancy it." Alex inclined her head towards the lobby of the cinema.

"Sounds good. I'm sure they'll follows us in once they've finished, um..." Jo laughed and let Alex lead her inside.

The other two pulled apart looking happy but embarrassed at getting carried away in their clinch, to see their friends wander inside.

Alex gave Bernie a quick, delighted thumbs-up and Bernie smiled at her own ingenuity.

Once the four of them settled at a table with coffees to await the next showing of their movie, it was a relief to have conversation flow relatively smoothly.

"So, Alex. Bernie tells me you're home for good now." Serena smiles at the other woman, she actually seemed lovely and she and Serena were getting on well. "Alex worked with Bernie in the RAMC." Serena tried to include Jo as much as possible and the two seemed to be hitting it off.

"Yes ma'am. I was brought up not far from here and since this was my last posting, I accepted a position at St James'. Been back here for 6 weeks now." Alex was sneaking furtive glances at the redhead, she was very good looking.

"What a coincidence. Jo came to work at Holby about 6 weeks ago, would it be Jo?" Serena was the consummate matchmaker once she found her stride.

Jo had been picturing the taller brunette in army gear and wasn't aware she'd been spoken to. Serena nudged her to pay attention. "What? Oh yes, right, sorry. I'd say about 6 weeks. I've always lived in the area and fancied a bit more responsibility so I'm PA to the CEO at Holby. Where Serena and Bernie work." She cursed herself for adding that last bit, of course Alex knew that. What was wrong with her?

Alex thought she looked adorable all flustered. Bernie's plan seemed to be working better than any of them could have imagined.

"Ok, well how about I jump in that horrendous queue for our tickets before we miss the beginning of the film?" Jo needed to absent herself before she embarrassed herself any more.

All three of the others made a move to grab some cash and head with her.

"No, no. This was my treat, remember? You just relax and I'll be back in no time." She smiled and made to join the queue.

"Jo." Alex called out to stop her and stood up. "How about I come with you and grab us all some popcorn and things? Leave the lovebirds to it for a few minutes." She winked jokingly at the redhead and was rewarded with a furious blush creeping over Jo's cheeks.

Jo lost the power of speech for a moment. "Sure, ok. If you want." She waited for Alex to make her way over and they walked together to the back of the line.

Bernie and Serena watched them, pleased with their efforts. Then turned back to each other, linked hands and chatted while they waited for the pair to come back.

"You worked with Bernie then?" Jo made small talk, oblivious to their history.

"They didn't tell you, we used to be...sort of together?" Alex's turn to blush. "I hope you don't mind that Bernie mentioned about your last relationship. She was clearly an idiot to cheat on you." Alex saw something cross the redhead's features and she knew she'd said the wrong thing. "Sorry...I just. Well in the interest of honesty, you should know that Bernie and I had an affair. I'm the reason she's not with her husband anymore." Alex wasn't usually one to overshare but here she was.

"Are you always this upfront and intense on first dates or do I just bring it out in you?" Jo's eyes were smiling and Alex knew she was teasing.

Alex laughed a little then. "Sorry I just haven't done this for a while."

"Me neither." Jo admitted.

"I find that hard to believe. You must have them lining the streets." Alex just wanted to see her blush again and she wasn't disappointed.

"Em, thanks I suppose." Jo was secretly pleased with the compliment.

They got the tickets and some snacks before heading over to the happy couple again and making their way to the screen for the film.

Bernie and Serena walked in front holding hands, whilst Alex and Jo hung back a little watching them.

"They look so happy." Jo said wistfully.

"You miss your ex?" Alex didn't know why she brought that up, first rule of dating broken again Dawson, smooth.

"I did for the longest time, even though I could never have forgiven her. She did me a favour in the end, so no point dwelling on the past. How about you? Is it weird seeing them together?" Jo indicated the couple up ahead.

"Honestly, not at all. Bernie and I were over long before Serena came along. We wanted different things, were in different places in life and outside of war zones we wouldn't have worked. And they are good together. Bernie and I are great friends, but anything more now would feel strange. I knew she was in love with Serena before poor Serena did. Speaking of Serena, I'm told you have a bit of a thing for her." Alex nudged the other woman gently.

"Don't remind me. I was terrible, just a silly crush really. I think it was just because she's been so lovely to me and she's easy to like. Now that I see them together, they seem perfect for each other and nothing would have happened. With everything that I went through, I wouldn't dream of coming between them." Jo found it so easy to talk to the other woman and hoped they were getting on as well as she thought.

Once they were all seated inside and all the food divided out, they settled in to watch the movie. They had chosen a rom-com and were thoroughly enjoying having a laugh. Serena and Bernie were sharing one bucket of popcorn and cuddling into each other, heads together laughing heartily. Alex and Jo shared the other bucket and were a bit more awkward, smiling apologetically when their hands would brush if they both reached in at the same time.

If Alex had thought Jo's smile was something, she was totally unprepared for her laugh. She stole a quick glance at one particularly funny moment and saw her face lit up by the glow from the screen, and completely unguarded laughter made her look gorgeous. Alex decided as she watched her that she would very much like to see her again.

When the film ended, Alex and Jo made their way back outside, talking animatedly about how much they'd enjoyed it and pointing out their favourite bits to each other, laughing again at the memory. They were in front this time and as Bernie and Serena watched them, they gave each other a knowing look and decided to leave them to it.

"Oh shit!" Bernie puts the final part of their plan into action in dramatic fashion. "Serena, I totally forgot I promised Cam a lift home from his shift." She winked at the brunette willing her to play along.

"Oh well, how about you scoot on and I'll drop everyone else home." Serena took the bait.

Alex stepped in then. "Actually I was thinking of going for a quick drink while we're in town. How about it Jo?" Please say yes.

"I'd love to." The redhead couldn't stop smiling.

"Looks like it would just be the two of you as I'm driving." Serena says feigning disappointment, but neither Jo nor Alex heard, they were too busy deciding where to go and Alex was arranging how to get her home.

"No way! I live about 3 streets away from there. It's not far from the bar, I'd be happy to walk you home later or we can share a taxi." Alex beamed.

"Right well, I'd better head off for Cam. Enjoy the rest of your night ladies." Bernie waves to Alex and Jo. She hugs Serena goodbye placing a kiss to her cheek she whispers. "I'll see you back at mine in 15 minutes. Chinese or pizza?"

Serena whispers back her order and heads off in the direction of her car, quickly hugging Jo and Alex goodnight and reiterating Bernie's sentiment to enjoy themselves.


	9. Chapter 9

Bernie phoned in their food order from the car before driving over to collect it. When she got back to her apartment Serena was just pulling up outside to wait for her. She had nipped home to grab some overnight things and carried a small bag inside, along with her handbag as they walked up to Bernie's flat. Bernie's place was compact but stylish, very tidy considering the mess she made of their office. They sat eating their food at the small dining table and talking with the ease they always had, planning what they might do with their final day off tomorrow.

"Why don't we go for a drive? Find a nice little country pub somewhere for a spot of lunch. Warm fireplace, good food and a whole afternoon to ourselves before Jason comes home tomorrow evening." Serena suggested.

Bernie thought it was a great idea and she knew just the place. It was near a country park so they could go for a walk to work up an appetite or work off the food, depending on the order they felt like doing things in. She had some spare scarves etc. in case Serena hadn't brought enough layers for the great outdoors. Serena thanked her lucky stars that she'd brought sensible shoes with her.

"I have a surprise for you in my overnight bag." Serena snuggled up to the blonde on her sofa once dinner was over. "I thought you might like to have me for dessert." She kisses along the side of Bernie's neck and starts unbuttoning her shirt to make her intentions clear.

Bernie all but ran to the bedroom, dragging Serena behind her. They brushed their teeth in record breaking time and then Bernie was instructed to wait on the bed in her pyjamas, while Serena got herself ready in the en suite.

Fidgeting with aroused anticipation, Bernie was beyond eager to see what Serena had in store for her. It seemed like an eternity passed before she saw the door handle move and Serena opened the door for the big reveal. She draped herself in what she hoped was a seductive pose against the door frame, watching for the blonde's reaction.

Bernie felt all the air leave her lungs. Her blood pressure skyrocketed and she was convinced she was going to pass out, as she flooded her pyjama shorts. Serena was wearing a calf length black and red negligee, which hugged absolutely everything in all the right places and was totally sheer. Just shy of being see through, it left almost nothing to the imagination. Bernie had not a drop of saliva left and her tongue felt glued to the roof of mouth.

"You don't like it." Serena had been expecting her to say something, do something, but Bernie had just stayed rooted to the mattress. She felt a bit foolish standing there in next to nothing. "Perhaps it is a bit short." Serena looks crestfallen as she tugs at the hem to pull it down in embarrassment. "I shouldn't have bought it, at my age. I'll just go change."

"Don't fucking move." Bernie finds her voice.

Serena is stunned by the outburst and does as she's told.

Bernie shuffles down to sit over the end of the bed and instructs Serena to join her. Pulling her down to kneel over the blonde, Bernie cups Serena's naked bum cheeks under the fabric as she whispers. "How disappointed would you be if I ripped this gorgeous thing from your hot body and fucked you senseless?"

Serena was thrilled. The suggestion was a far cry from the tender lovemaking they'd shared so far, but she couldn't help the jolt of arousal that made her swoon as Bernie flipped her on to her back, pushing them into the middle of the bed. The blonde's eye were almost black with lust and Serena knew she was in for it. Bernie held her by the wrists, both hands above her head as she raked her eyes over every inch of her. The negligee hid very little and Serena could see Bernie almost salivate with desire. It made Serena feel incredible to be so wanted and her fears over her body dissipated in the fizzle of sexual tension flowing between them. Serena arched up trying to kiss Bernie, only to be pushed back down.

"You will not initiate anything tonight. No touching me. Keep those hands there." Bernie was firm but Serena could see the love in her eyes and nodded her consent to the blonde. "You will do exactly as I say, when I say. I am going to make you cum as many times as it takes until you know how beautiful you are."

Serena shivered with pure ecstasy. Had anyone ever cared so much for her needs? Wanted to show her how good she could feel? Her heart filled with love even as her body ached with desire.

Bernie released her wrists and Serena obediently kept her arms in place. She throws off her vest top and shorts so she is naked above the brunette and Serena has to refrain from reaching out for her. Bernie breaks the unbearable silence. "Now tell me all about what you wanted me to do to you the other night, when you were imagining me here. Tell me EXACTLY how you pleasured yourself."

Serena thought, in for a penny... "Well I started -" She moved her hand to demonstrate.

"Ahem, what did we say about those hands? I don't want you to show me. Tell me." Bernie was insistent.

"I started with my fingers on my mouth, remembering what it was like to have you kiss me that night outside Albies." Serena explained.

"Like this?" Bernie softly brushes her lips, tracing the outline with the very tip of her finger. Serena nods. "And then what?" Bernie continues.

"I slid my hand down over my front to push inside my pyjama trousers, to feel how wet I was for you." Serena bites her lip as Bernie's hand moves on from it, to reconstruct her actions.

"Did you touch anything else on the way down?" Bernie was enjoying this.

"I don't remember." Serena blurts out as the blonde skims over one of her breasts. "Slower." Serena doesn't want it all to end too quickly.

Bernie does as she's bid and takes her time with the movements. "Oh my, Serena you were drenched by the looks of things." Bernie takes a finger and teasingly uses it to explore the wetness at Serena's core.

"Uh huh." Serena can't manage any more, her body lost to the blonde's touch.

"Did I tease you like this? I was very mean." Bernie revels in the warmth of Serena's arousal on her hand. "What did you do next?"

"I rubbed circles around my clit, touching it every so often." Serena was dying the most exquisite of deaths, she just knew it.

"You were very unfair on yourself, my love. If I'd been here I wouldn't have made you wait so long." Bernie did what Serena described though.

Serena smiles at the affectionate term Bernie uses and feels the room start to spin. "Bernie, I -"

"No. Not yet." Bernie slows to let Serena hold back. "Is this when you came last time?"

Serena unwillingly shakes her head in honesty.

"Well then, you can't cum until I say so." Bernie starts up again and Serena moans in frustration. "Did you do anything else to yourself?"

"Two fingers. Inside." Serena can hardly breathe from the ministrations on her clit, so God help her once Bernie enters her.

"Were your eyes closed when you touched yourself?" Bernie enquired.

Serena's honesty takes hold again as she shakes no a second time.

"Open them." Bernie commands.

Serena gasped as the blonde thrusts into her at the precise moment her eyes open and she sees Bernie above her.

"You are so beautiful, Serena. I want you to believe me." Bernie hates to think that the brunette sees any part of herself as less than perfect.

Serena sees tears then as she feels the emotional connection overpower her. "I love you."

"And I love every part of you." Bernie breaks the rules momentarily to let her kiss her. "Now, tell me what you did next?"

"I pumped my fingers in and out, imagining it was you." Serena was never happier to know that this time it was her.

"Did you stay on your clit too?" Bernie wants to make her fantasy an unforgettable reality, much as she had for the blonde on their first night together.

"Yes. But. Faster. Harder." Serena was babbling now as she felt climax start to overtake her.

"And did you cum then? Cum for me Serena! Do you want to cum?" Bernie grinds in and out of her, while rubbing her clit as instructed.

"YES!" Serena's eyes go wide and she jerks up off the bed, body rigid with orgasm and staring straight at Bernie in blissful disbelief. Bernie keeps thrusting to prolong the release, captivated by the look on Serena's face.

Bernie slows and pulls gently out when she sees that Serena needs to stop. The brunette lies down flat again, delicious post coital ache settling into her bones. She breathes heavily and waits for her heart to stop hammering.

"Bernie. That was the most amazing sex of my life." She confesses and blushes at the revelation, she hadn't intended to say it out loud.

The blonde is still kneeling over her and leans in to kiss her gently, pleased that she seems to have enjoyed it so much. "I would do anything for you, Serena. I love you." She strokes her cheek and kisses her again. "Was that as good as you'd imagined?" she asks with a glint in her eye.

"Much better. Except I forgot the part where I was pinching my nipple." Serena giggles at her honesty. It seems that she can't hold back where the blonde is concerned.

"Show me." Bernie uses that tone again and Serena knows what's about to happen.

"What? You want me to -" Serena doesn't get the chance to finish.

"Show me. Now." Bernie repeats the order.

"But you said I couldn't touch -" Serena is beside herself with desire.

"I said you couldn't touch me. I never mentioned you not touching yourself." Bernie smirks wickedly.

Serena flushes a red to match the fabric of her negligee. "I've never. In front of anyone else..."

"Shall I join you?" Bernie drags a hand slowly down her own front and begins to stroke at herself. "Oh Serena, I'm using the fingers that where just inside you." She moans as she brings them back up to taste them both on her tongue.

Serena can only watch in lustful rapture as this deity starts to masturbate while kneeling above her. She has never seen anything more incredible. Spurred on by Bernie's performance, she drags herself out from underneath her, until they are kneeling face to face.

"Serena. I don't know how you'd expect me to see you like that, do those things to your fantastic body and not need to touch myself. Christ, you are such a turn on." Bernie smiles as she sees the brunette relax.

Tentatively, Serena lifts the hem of her negligee and pulls it off over her head and drops it on to the floor. Her nipples are already hard from watching Bernie pleasuring herself and she brings her hand up to fondle one breast, whilst the other hand moves to the soft curls between her thighs. She throws an unsure glance at the blonde, still a bit self conscious.

"It's ok, Serena. Relax, I'm here. I'm with you." Bernie was teasing at herself still waiting for her, hoping that Serena would finally let go.

Serena hesitantly begins to mirror her actions, while continuing to caress at her chest. Suddenly, she knows that she has nothing to be embarrassed about. The woman facing her loves her just as she is. Looking into the blonde's eyes she sees only how beautiful she is to Bernie. "Well what are you waiting for? I thought you were joining me." Serena pinches at her nipple and throws her head back as she enters herself with a cry. "Oh Bernie."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Bernie fingers her clit in earnest now, eyes fixed on the brunette. "You are stunning." Bernie copies Serena and plunges inside her cunt with a rush and a moan of delight.

They kneel over themselves, closer together and grind deeper, thrusting into their own hands. Bodies covered in sweat and hurtling towards the edge, they kissed passionately before picking up the pace.

"Serena, I'm -" Bernie feels herself clench around her fingers.

"I know. Cum with me Bernie." Serena pants out, achingly close.

That does it.

"Oh shit." Bernie soaks her fingers as she climaxes.

That's all Serena needs to hear. "Fuck, Bernie."

They collapse, breathless on top of each other. Neither can be sure where one ends and the other begins, all limbs mingling and bodies slick.

Serena was sure Bernie would be finished with her now but she was glad to be wrong. This time they made love slowly, Bernie insisting that the brunette point out all the parts of her body that she was unhappy with. Bernie paid each one special attention, keeping her promise to make her cum over and over again. She couldn't quite say that she thought herself beautiful but she could never deny that Bernie clearly thought so. That was enough for her.

At some point they let exhaustion force them to just cuddle up and drift into peaceful sleep, dreaming of each other and their day alone to follow.


	10. Chapter 10

Meanwhile, Alex and Jo made their way to the bar they'd chosen, chatting amiably. They were both considerably more nervous now that they were alone, but it was reassuring that the conversation didn't dry up.

"I haven't been to see a movie in forever. That was great fun." Alex had missed just doing everyday things more than she'd realised.

"I haven't laughed that much in a long time." Jo sniggered again as she thought of one scene that cracked her up.

"You should do it more often, you look ever prettier when you laugh." Alex could have kicked herself for being so forward and obvious. "I mean, I. Oh damn, I really am bad at this!" She stammered.

"I think you're better than you think you are." Jo smiled and linked elbows with her.

Alex couldn't stop grinning like an idiot, there was definitely something about this woman. From her vantage point, she took a good look at the redhead beside her as they walked. She was oblivious to how amazing she was, which made Alex like her even more. Long, flowing red hair blowing around her face slightly in the breeze. Eyes the colour of emeralds in one light and changing to darker juniper in another. Her skin was a creamy porcelain, with pink flushes on her cheeks. Alex wasn't sure if it was the cold or something else making her blush, but she looked beautiful just the same. Her lips were full and red against the paleness of her fair skin and the contrast was mesmerising.

Alex cleared her throat, trying to get rid of thoughts of kissing her and to hide the fact that she'd just been blatantly staring at her. "Well, um. Here we are." Alex let Jo go in first, placing a hand to the small of her back to lead her through the door. Jo's heart beat faster at the familiarity and heat of the touch, even through her coat and clothes.

"Why don't you grab us a table and I'll get some drinks? What would you like?" Alex made a show of keeping her hand where it was and speaking close to Jo's ear, even though it wasn't overly noisy inside. Jo turned towards the sound of her voice and their faces were almost touching. Looking straight into each others eyes, they both felt a stirring of butterflies in the pit of their stomach, that neither had experienced for quite some time.

"I'll have a white wine. Sweet. Please." Jo breathes out in a rush, trying to keep her eyes on Alex's and not further down to her mouth. She forced herself to move away and find them some seats. Huffing out the breath she hadn't even noticed she was holding, she found them the only spare seats in the place. Figures, she thought. It was a low two-seater sofa where they'd basically have to sit pressed together or maybe one on the other's knee... Jo tried to ignore that image as she settled in to wait for the brunette to come back with her drink. God did she need a drink! Shucking off her coat, she stole Alex's breath as it fell to reveal what she was wearing. It had been dark in the theatre and she'd had her coat on the rest of the time. She was wearing tight black jeans and high heels, which Alex had already see some of. But paired with the tight cream and black lace top, she was incredible. It had lace, see through capped sleeves and showed off a heavenly cleavage without being too revealing.

"I got us a bottle to share." Alex smiled and held up two wine glasses and the wine bottle to illustrate her point. As if she's never seen those before, what are you doing you moron? Just be cool.

Jo smiled and patted the sofa cushion beside her, gesturing for Alex to sit down. Way to not look too keen Jo, she berated herself for being so embarrassing.

Alex slips off her own coat and rests it on the sofa arm on top of Jo's. This gives Jo a chance to see what the other woman was wearing as well. She was in bootcut dark blue jeans and black Converse sneakers, with a black button down shirt. Her sleeves were rolled up to reveal toned, brown forearms. The muscles in her arms rippled with even the slightest movement and Jo could just tell that all of the rest of her was toned too. She had a more relaxed but none the less effective look.

As she sits, as Jo predicted almost in her lap, she mumbles a quick sorry at the proximity and shuffles to give them both some breathing space. Pouring them both a glass of wine, she offers up the four words Jo dreading unlike any others. "Tell me about yourself." But her smile is so genuine and enchanting, that Jo finds that she does.

Alex discovers that they are about the same age and grew up in roughly the same area, even went to the same schools but different years. Jo has an English Lit degree and a Business Administration qualification, hence always working in that capacity but never at this level. She hears that Jo speaks fluent French.

"You'll have to teach me some, I'm rubbish." Alex hears the implication that she wants to spend time with her again in the request and glosses over it awkwardly.

She even finds out the whole story of the stupid ex girlfriend, Lucie. Alex knows this Lucie is completely mental to have let this woman go and is delighted to hear that she isn't even with the other woman now. Serves her right, she thinks. Until she flushes at the shame of knowing that she did the same with Bernie. Had broken up her marriage, her family for a ridiculous flight of fancy.

"It's not the same, you know? Lucie and you." Alex's head snaps up, she's shocked that this woman who she hardly knows is reading her thoughts.

"What we did is unforgivable." Alex looks so ashamed.

"You loved each other. In a way you still do, you're best friends. It wasn't some meaningless fuck with someone you never spoke to again. It broke up a marriage, but it doesn't sound like it was a happy one. And without you, she never would have found Serena. If you think of it like that..." Jo grasped her hand and gave it a squeeze that sent Alex's pulse haywire.

And then Alex finds herself telling this woman the story of her and Bernie. Things she had never said to anyone, not even the blonde herself. Then about how cut up Bernie had been over Serena and all she knew about their story, with Jo interjecting to tell her all about her ludicrous flirtations with Serena and making Alex laugh, which soothes Jo's embarrassment. Alex tells her how happy she is for them and Jo can see the sincerity. Then she can also see how she longs for what they have and how easy it is between them. Jo admits that she recognises the look because she has the same problem. A moment passes where they both have the same thought, this is easy too. Maybe, just maybe...

Alex doesn't mean to fix Jo with such an intense stare then, but she somehow senses that the redhead's thought replicates her own. She doesn't mean to glance down at her lips, but how could she not really? They are gorgeous. She doesn't even mean to lick her own lips suggestively, it seems to happen on its own. She can't help but notice that Jo's eyes flicker down to her lips, as she leans in. She looks back up to Jo's eyes, searching for any objections but she sees none. In fact she could swear the redhead had lent in closer too.

The moment is broken by some drunken fool falling against their table and knocking their drinks everywhere. Alex reacts the fastest, pulling them up out of the way of the liquid, clothes thankfully rescued in time. They had more or less finished most of the wine anyway and it was throwing out time.

As promised, Alex agrees to walk her home, just to make sure she gets there safely. Of course. It's a brisk but clear night and the walk is pleasant enough, they both live only minutes from the bar. Jo shivers a little at one point and Alex throws her coat around the redhead's shoulders. She uses all her resolve not to pull on it, to draw her in for that kiss that almost was at the bar. Jo senses it too but they both just keep walking after a minute.

"This is me." Jo indicates a charming little three bed house that is quite similar to the one Alex owns actually. She hands Alex back her coat, thanking her.

"Right. Well, goodnight then." Alex smiles as she turns to head home, disappointed at her own blip in courage.

"Alex?" Jo calls out to stop her. "I had a lovely time tonight. Thank you." She smiles shyly, also a little disappointed.

"Oh, um. Me too. Maybe we could do it again some time. If you'd like to." Alex holds her breath waiting for an answer.

"Give me your phone." Jo holds out her hand and Alex obliges confused.

"This is my number. Why don't you let me know when you're free?" Jo smiles and hands back the phone. Alex wonders when would be too soon.

Jo leans in and kisses her cheek. " Why don't you text me when you get home safely? That way I'll have your number too." That solves Alex's quandary of how long to wait.

"I will, goodnight Jo. Sweet dreams. By the way, I stand by what I said earlier." She quips as she begins to back away. Jo's face crinkles in confusion and she looks beautiful. "Your ex was clearly an idiot. But maybe her loss is my gain." She smiles and turns for home.

"Goodnight Alex." Jo smiles at her departing back.

Jo has just snuggled under the covers when her phone beeps:

"Home safe. Really enjoyed tonight, how about dinner next Tuesday night? Alex x"

Jo grins in the darkness and replies immediately:

"Had a great time too. Dinner sounds good, I finish at 6pm. x"

Alex is like a kid on Christmas then:

"Ok. How about I pick you at 7.30pm? x"

"It's a date. J x"

"By the way, I hope you don't mind me saying that you looked incredible tonight. A x"

Jo didn't mind. She didn't mind one bit.


	11. Chapter 11

When Bernie and Serena woke up on Sunday morning, they had huge grins on their faces when they thought about the night before.

"Bernie, I just wanted to say, last night was wonderful." Serena could never convey how the blonde made her feel. Loved. Beautiful. Wanted. Complete. "I've never felt so..." Serena struggled to find the words and she held her to her and kissed her lovingly. "I feel, I'm so happy." The tears on her cheeks suggested otherwise.

Bernie brushed them away and held her. "Serena, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be, happier than I probably deserve in truth. As long as you'll let me, I will always try to make you feel as happy." Bernie kissed her soundly and pulled her as close as she could.

They lay there just enjoying being wrapped in their embrace, until Bernie's phone startled them. Bernie smiled when she saw the text.

Serena's raised eyebrow asked the question and Bernie showed her the contents:

"If you ever fancy a change of career, I think you'll make a cracking matchmaker. She's amazing! Seeing her again on Tuesday. Al "

Bernie fired off a thumbs-up emoji and she and Serena smiled at their handiwork. Until Serena's phone buzzed and this time it was Jo:

"Tell Bernie I owe her. Alex is great, taking me out for dinner on Tuesday. Eek! Jo "

Serena sent her a smiley and the pair laughed at the possible budding romance between their friends. Bernie would never let up about what a genius she was, Serena wasn't going to hear the end of it.

They were up and ready shortly afterwards, looking to head off for their drive once they'd grabbed a small breakfast. Jumping into Bernie's car, they drove to the spot Bernie had mentioned, humming contentedly along with the radio. They held hands at every opportunity and just enjoyed being together.

"I hope things work out for Alex. You think Jo is ok?" Bernie wasn't jealous but she was always fiercely protective of the people she cared about.

"I do. She really is a good person and she's been through a lot. I think they both deserve to be happy and if they can be, with each other, it would be nice. Don't you think?" Serena smiled, wishing the happiness she felt with Bernie for the two women.

"I agree. Besides, I get exclusive gloating rights for eternity if they end up together." They both laughed at that, although they also both knew Bernie would enjoy torturing her friend with it immensely. "And we would have another couple to double date with. Yesterday was fun." Bernie squeezed Serena's thigh affectionately.

"Oh yes that would be lovely. I really enjoyed it." Serena placed her hand on top of Bernie's, returning the squeeze.

"I love you, Serena Campbell." It was glorious to hear the blonde say those words to her so unprompted now.

"I love you too, Berenice Wolfe." Serena's smile could have lit up the bleakest of nights.

"Move in with me." Bernie's request startled them both.

"What did you say?" Serena wasn't sure she'd heard right.

"Move in with me. You and Jason. Of course." Bernie clarified. "I know it might seem a bit sudden, but I've loved you for so long and now that we're together I just want to be with you. In everything. I love waking up next to you, Serena and I want to do it every morning for the rest of my life." Bernie had never been more serious and she wanted this in a way she'd never known before. It was visceral and it felt right.

Serena was speechless. She couldn't, wouldn't deny that she wanted the same, but... "I can't." Bernie's heart plummeted through the floor and tears rolled down her cheeks. She had to pull over.

"Bernie, hear me out. I can't move in with you -"

"You said that." Bernie snapped.

"But you can move in with me." Serena finished.

"What?" Bernie couldn't believe her ears.

"We have more space and Jason wouldn't do well with moving house, so it would be easier that way." Serena hoped she would say yes.

"I would love nothing more." Bernie lunged at her and kissed her with all her heart. " My lease is up at the end of the month, is that too soon?" Bernie looked anxious.

"You could move in tonight and it wouldn't be a moment too soon, my love." Serena was radiant with delight, paying back Bernie's kiss with interest. "I need to talk to Jason, make sure it would be ok for him."

"Of course, I understand. I wouldn't do anything that you weren't both happy about." Bernie loved Jason like he was her own son.

Serena had never loved anyone as she loved this woman right now. "Why don't we get going, I was quite looking forward to our day out? I will talk to Jason tonight. I promise."

They made it to the country park in good time and decided to do the walk first. Fingers intertwined tightly, they chatted about moving in together, as excited as anything, as they wandered around the path. Stopping to kiss every so often, they were the epitome of true happiness. Bernie could see their whole future ahead of them. Together. Always. The best part was that she felt not even the slightest desire to run away from this. She wasn't afraid and she was going to spend the rest of her days with the most amazing, beautiful, kind, wonderful woman in the world. A woman who, for whatever reason, loved her just as deeply. She kissed Serena as long as she could without having to stop for air. "I will always love you."

"And I you." Serena smiled and held the love of her life with all the strength she had in her. "But I will love you more if you get me some Shiraz." They laughed at that. Kissing again quickly, they headed to the pub for their lunch.

It was positively delicious and they thoroughly stuffed themselves, while Serena drank only one glass of Shiraz. Cosying up in the lobby by the fire, they talked and kissed away the afternoon, until it was time to drive Serena home. Home. They both hoped with all they were, that it soon would be, for both of them.

The drive home buzzed with shared excitement, mixed with some apprehension. What if Jason wasn't ok with this? They'd find out soon enough they supposed.

"Would you like me to come in with you, to speak with Jason?" Bernie didn't know if she could wait to find out his answer.

"I'd like that." Serena wanted Bernie beside her and to have her support in this and anything else that might be thrown at them.

Grabbing Serena's bag from the boot, Bernie followed her inside to find Jason in the living room watching a documentary.

"Hello Auntie Serena. Hello Bernie. Are you staying for fish and chips night?" he smiled at the two women.

"Jason, how would you feel if perhaps Bernie wanted to stay for a bit longer than that?" she gripped the blonde's hand for courage.

"You mean for pudding as well?" Jason looked pleased with that.

Both women couldn't help but smile at his innocence.

"No. Jason how would you feel if she wanted to live here? With us. From now on." Serena sucked in a sharp breath, holding it.

"Yes, alright then." Jason nodded his agreement and turned back to his TV show.

Well, I guess that was settled then. Bernie was moving in.


	12. Chapter 12

Jo knocks sharply on their office door, first thing on Monday morning.

"Come in." They say in unison, still smiling like idiots at each other over the development in their relationship.

"Good morning!" Jo chirps with her own smile. No prizes for guessing the cause. "Oh hold on. There's something going on here." She looks between them, sensing a shift almost like she sees pure love written all over their grinning faces. "Spill."

Serena cracks first, giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Ha! See, I'm right, aren't I? There's something. Tell me!" She finds their excitement infectious.

Bernie was hoping to keep it quiet until she was officially moving in, at the end of the month but she was busting to tell anyone who would listen. Besides, with Serena's agreement, she had told Alex and sworn her to secrecy. "We're moving in together." She bursts with pride.

"Oh my God! That is fantastic!" Jo squeals and hugs them both tightly. "I am so happy for you both. Ooh, house warming party!" Jo claps with joy. Her eyes shine with mirth.

"Steady on, Jo. I already live there!" Serena chuckles. "Don't think I don't know you're only suggesting it so we'll invite a certain ex-army captain." Serena winks, hitting the nail dead centre.

Jo turns a deep shade of red at the mention of Alex. Serena and Bernie smile at the redhead. "Did she say anything about me?" Jo directs this at Bernie. She feels silly being so pathetic, but she had to admit she hadn't felt like this in quite a while.

"She may have." Bernie smiled warmly at her. "I hear you're seeing each other again tomorrow."

With that, Jo's phone beeps in her pocket and the smile on her face tells them exactly who the text is from. "We're having dinner. She's picking me up. I have to dress up apparently. Sounds fancy." Jo was clearly excited.

"Enjoy yourselves." Serena was delighted and she recognised the signs of the first flush of attraction. She was relieved to admit that Jo had never had that look with her. This could be the real deal. "You have to tell us where you go so maybe we can try it some time."

"Thanks again ladies." She hugs them once more before heading back to work.

"Oh my, she's got it bad." Bernie giggles. She was glad to see that the redhead's feelings for her friend seemed genuine. "Although I know a certain anaesthetist who's wearing a similar expression at the moment." Alex had been on cloud nine when she'd called over to Bernie's late last night for some advice on where to take Jo. She was a nervous wreck and she must have been desperate to impress, if she thought Bernie's advice was any use. Thank God, Serena had been there and could actually help her. She had sat with Alex for ages, strategizing before she had to head back to Jason. Serena was a sucker for romance and she had loved giving the other woman some pointers. Although, she had warned it would be best to just be herself. Fingers crossed.

Tuesday came and Jo was a giddy mess. She was so nervous that Serena had to practically shake her to get her to see sense.

"Come on now, Jo. You both got on just fine on Saturday and you want to see each other again. Just relax and be yourself. Alex seems to like you as you are." Serena tried to calm the woman down.

"I'm sorry, Serena. I know. It's just I haven't gone on a proper date for a while and I think she's just so lovely and I'm, well I'm..." Jo seems to doubt that she has anything to offer. Serena knew that feeling well but it was Bernie who said just the right thing.

"Jo, I've known Alex for a long time. I've never seen her this excited or nervous. She's struggling too, but just try to remember it's only a second date. It's meant to be fun, no pressure and just see how you get on." Bernie smiled kindly and Serena could have kissed her, as she saw the redhead stand a little taller, buoyed by her words.

"Yes, you're both right. I can do this. And it's not the end of the world, just a perfectly lovely second date." Jo relaxed considerably.

She rushed home at 6pm sharp to prepare for the date. It took a while even just to choose an outfit. Nothing seemed to be right. In the end she settled for a simple black dress with a v neck cut and beaded waist. She matched it with nude stockings and grey high heels. Her hair was twisted into an up do, her make-up was passable and she wore a simple silver necklace with teardrop diamanté pendent and matching earrings. She blanched at the time, Alex would be here any minute. She threw what she might need into a small clutch bag that was the same colour as her shoes. She was just grabbing her coat from the wardrobe when the doorbell rang.

Alex had never been so nervous. She thought she might throw up, as she waited on Jo's doorstep for her to answer. She had brought a small bouquet of flowers as a gift and hoped it wasn't too showy. Alex was wearing a three piece black tux and a white shirt with the top few buttons undone. Black high heel boots and no bow tie. She thought that might be a bit over the top. Her makeup was slightly heavier than normal but not too colourful and her hair was tied in a loose ponytail.

She had to bolster herself with the doorframe when the redhead came into view, opening the door to reveal her dress. Alex's heartbeat pounded in her ears and she was sweating ever so slightly as her breathing sped up. "Jo. Hi. You look. Wow." She couldn't say anything else just then because the redhead was smiling as she checked out Alex's attire. My, my.

"And you look very dashing." Jo pecks her quickly on the cheek before inviting her inside for a second while she gathers her things.

"Oh. These are for you." Alex passes her the flowers.

"Thank you, Alex. They're beautiful. I'll just go and put them in some water." She kisses her again on the cheek and Alex inhales at entirely the wrong moment, the redhead's perfume hitting her full force and making her head spin. Christ, she even smells gorgeous! "Would you like anything to drink before we make a move?" Jo calls to her from the kitchen.

"No. I'm fine thanks. Unless you want something." Ok, you can do this. Come on soldier, look lively and stop being such a muppet.

Jo comes back with a vase full of the flowers and sets them on the hall table, stroking them affectionately. "They are lovely. Listen, Alex. I thought it best to get this out of the way before we go anywhere..." Jo begins and Alex panics that she's dumping her before they even leave her house. "... I'm very nervous about this, um date. I haven't been on a lot of dates recently or ever really, so this is a bit daunting. I thought it would be best to let you know that I'm not very good at this. I mean, in case I start rambling, like now for example and you start thinking I'm some sort of spinster nutcase. Oh damn, see now I really shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry, I'm not a nutcase. Or a spinster..." Jo offers a weak smile.

"Jo. It's ok. I'm nervous too. My hands are all sweaty and I... really shouldn't have told you that. I'm rubbish at all this dating stuff. Serena told me not to bring any flowers but did I listen? Oh crap, now I sound like some hopeless sap that can't even make her own decisions." Alex was sinking fast, not a dingy in sight.

"I like the flowers." Jo realises that this gorgeous woman is just as nervous as she is and that makes her feel better. "It's ok, we're both clearly in the same "nervous as hell" boat, so why don't we just embrace it and try to have a nice evening together?"

Alex smiles and feels a bit lighter then. "Yes that sounds like a plan." She helps Jo into her coat and tries not to think about how inviting the nape of her neck looks, she could kiss it. Offering her elbow, they make their way to Alex's car and the brunette helps her into the passenger seat. "What I was trying to say so ineloquently at the door earlier was that you look beautiful." Jo smiles through a blush at the compliment.

They drive to one of the fancy 5* hotels in the town centre and Jo looks on in wonder at everything in sight. "How did you get us in here? I thought they were booked out months in advance."

Alex taps the side of her nose with her index finger. "I served with the owner's son, we saved his life. He owed me a big favour."

As they sit down at their table, Jo asks about Alex's life in the army.

Alex is candid about how much the army means to her and shares a little of her experiences but she admits that it was a lonely time, which probably threw her and Bernie together and was a big part of why she was hopeless at dating.

Jo confesses that she hadn't really been on many dates growing up, unaware of her sexuality, she just couldn't understand why she didn't want to date boys like her friends had. She'd had a couple of semi serious relationships at uni but had travelled a bit once she graduated, hence the French. She had met Lucie when she came home and they were together for almost 10 years when she'd cheated. She'd been single ever since and that was almost 3 years ago.

They ordered their drinks then, Jo opted to join Alex in sobriety for the evening, saying that it wasn't fair to drink in front of her since she was driving. "Next time, we'll get plastered." She jokes, then realises she's implied that she wanted there to be a next time...

Alex saves her from dying of embarrassment by placing a hand over hers. "Absolutely, next time." Throwing in a playful wink to calm her nerves.

Their food comes next and it is divine. Jo's lamb is heaven on a plate, cooked to perfection. "Ummm, oh my God Alex you have to try this." Without thinking, she cups the brunette's face with one hand to draw her closer and feeds her a piece from her own fork. "Oops. Sorry. Didn't mean to force feed you there."

"No. Not a problem, it is delicious." Alex gets out round a mouthful of lamb, her cheek tingling from the redhead's touch. "Would you like to try some of my roast beef?" Alex offers her a forkful and doesn't breathe as she reaches for her hand to pull the fork into her perfect mouth, making another one of those delighted moans at the taste. Alex can feel herself burning up, her body on high alert and responsive to everything she was doing to her. She ached to kiss her.

They made the rather rash decision to share a dessert but the waiter only brought one spoon. More feeding ensued and Alex was ridiculously aroused by this point, watching her practically purr at how delicious the chocolate fudge cake was. God what she wouldn't give to be that lucky, lucky spoon.

Once the dessert was finished, Alex noticed that some was left on the corner of the redhead's mouth. "Oh you've just got a tiny bit of..." Unthinkingly she rubs the chocolate off with her thumb and then brings it to her own mouth to lick clean. Jo was unbelievably turned on by the whole thing. It was getting hot all of a sudden.

"Would you care to dance?" Alex pointed to the dance floor where some other couples had started to congregate, swaying together along to the soft music of a small swing band.

"Well, yes. Alright." Jo smiles accepting her hand and letting her lead them to the floor.

They hold hands on one side, while Alex slips her other arm around Jo's waist and the redhead places her other hand on Alex's shoulder. This was a bad idea but it was the best bad idea she'd ever had. They were so close now, they were breathing the other's air and Alex's thumb was absentmindedly drawing tiny circles on Jo's waist, rubbing back and forth on the smooth fabric of her gorgeous dress. Neither could say for sure that they felt the floor beneath their feet, as they twirled in time with the music. Their height difference made it easy for Alex to cup the back of Jo's hand and bring it in to her, stroking the knuckles gently with her thumb. Jo rested her cheek to the other woman's chest, as she was drawn impossibly closer. She could feel as much as hear the brunette's heart beating wildly against her. They stayed like that, eyes closed and just holding each other whilst time stood still and the rest of the room faded away.

"Um, Jo?" Alex broke the spell.

"Hm?" Jo was reluctant to pull apart as she opened her eyes.

They saw that they were the last ones there and the band had gone.

"Oh." Jo smiles and draws herself away, pained to break the connection. "I guess we should get going or they'll be throwing us out soon." She led them back to the table for their things, hands still linked.

Alex insisted on paying the bill but only when Jo said that she would pay for the next one. Alex beamed, knowing that there would be a next one at all. She helped Jo into her coat again, gorgeous nape tempting her to kiss it as before. This was getting ridiculous.

"I had a wonderful time Alex. Thank you." Jo places her hand over the brunette's on the gearstick, as they settled to make the drive home.

"It was lovely to spend the evening with such a beautiful woman." Alex smiles shyly and Jo blushed furiously.

They drive back to Jo's in companionable silence, both lost in their own thoughts of the evening together. Before they know it, they're pulling up to Jo's door. Alex dashes round to get the door and helps Jo out of the car by offering her hand.

She walks Jo to her door and they are loathe to say goodbye.

"Do you want to -"

"I don't suppose you're -"

They laugh as they both tried to talk at the same time. Alex gestures for Jo to go first.

"Do you want to come in? For a coffee." She blushes at the subtext but she had just actually meant to offer her coffee, she wasn't ready for her to leave yet.

"I can't I'm afraid. I have an early shift tomorrow so I should probably get some sleep." Alex wishes more than anything that she could stay a bit longer.

"Oh no, Alex you should have said something. I've kept you out so late." Jo looked stricken. "What were you going to say, just now?"

"Oh yes. I don't suppose you're free on Saturday night? I have two tickets for a comedy show in town, we could grab a bite to eat and head out for drinks. Make a night of it." Alex had bought the tickets with Jo in mind, she wanted to see her laugh again.

"Sounds great. I'd love that." Jo smiled and wondered how she'd make it to Saturday without seeing the brunette.

"Good, great. Well the show is at 8pm but how about we meet at 6pm for some food and then we can go out and get plastered after the show, like you promised?" They both chuckle at that. "Shall we meet at city hall and look for somewhere nearby?"

"Perfect. I'll look forward to it all week." Jo is glowing with excitement already but hopes so isn't coming across over eager. "Thank you again for tonight and the flowers, I really enjoyed it." Jo fumbles for her keys in her clutch and then fiddles with them nervously. Would it be too soon for a goodnight kiss she wonders?

"It was my pleasure." Alex stares down into those gorgeous green eyes and every part of her yearns to bridge the gap and kiss the beauty in front of her. Her nerve fails and she turns her head to let out a frustrated huff.

"Goodnight Alex." Jo tries not to sound too disappointed as she stretches up for their now customary kiss on the cheek.

But Alex turns back at the sound of her words and Jo had closed her eyes, so she startles when she ends up kissing her square on the lips. Her eyes fly open in alarm and she pulls away sharply. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. You moved and then I didn't see. I was aiming for your cheek." Oh shit Jo, just shut up will you!

Alex silences her by rubbing her bottom lip with her thumb, before cupping the side of her face and pulling her in for a proper kiss. Jo's hand flies up to hold Alex's wrist, to keep her hand on her face by placing hers on top. It starts as a quick peck but becomes a long, slow, deep kiss that takes their breath away.

"I'll see you on Saturday then?" Alex pulls away while she can still stop herself, resting their foreheads together.

"I can't wait." Jo smiles and gives her another quick kiss before heading inside. She slumps back against the door once inside, exhaling an unsteady breath. "Wow." Saturday can't come fast enough.

Alex smiles so much on the way home, her face starts to hurt. Now all she has to do is figure out a way to speed up time and make it be Saturday already...


	13. Chapter 13

Neither of them had to wait until Saturday in the end, because they had two of the most devious matchmaking friends Holby had ever known.

Bernie arranged for Alex to come over on an unusually long lunch break, which she was actually taking for a change instead of working through, perhaps Jo was teaching her how to lighten up. While Serena did the same with Jo.

"So how are things going with Jo? She seems quite smitten." Bernie teased her friend as they devoured their sandwiches. Must be an Army thing, Serena watched them with slightly jealous awe. She couldn't eat like that and still have a figure as good as Bernie's.

"Did she say that?" Alex glowed with pride at the mention of the redhead. "We're going out again on Saturday night. Date number three, my friend. I should be thanking you for dragging me to the cinema last week."

"Yes you should. I take cheques or bottles of Shiraz for my beautiful girlfriend, soon to be live in lover." Bernie winks at Serena with a flirtatious smirk on her gorgeous face.

"Ah yes, I meant to say congratulations." Alex moves to hug Serena tightly. If someone had told them all that they'd be such great friends now it would have seemed impossible. She returns to her spot to inhale some more of her gigantic sandwich.

It's at that moment, mid-bite, that Jo makes her appearance.

"Serena, are you ready to go, I'm starving -" Jo looks up then and stops, open mouthed at the three of them. "Oh, hi. Hello Alex. I didn't know you'd be here." Jo throws her friend a "why didn't you warn me?" glare and Serena just shrugs her shoulders.

"Yes, Jo hello." Alex jumps off the desk, flings her sandwich down and stares at the redhead. Neither are sure how to greet the other: should they kiss, hug, surely a handshake was too formal? So they just stand there fidgeting nervously.

It's Jo who moves first. "You've got some mayo on your, um..." She reaches up to wipe Alex's mouth and mirrors her actions from the restaurant the other night. Alex wants to kiss her but she doesn't know if that would be too pushy and embarrassing in front of their friends.

"Oh my God, will you look at the time!" Serena exclaims, forcing the loved up pair to tear their eyes away from each other to check if she's ok. "Bernie, we're due in theatre." She grabs Jo by the elbow, leading her to the office door. "Sorry about lunch Jo, Alex has still got some time before heading back. Perhaps you could take Jo, Alex?" Serena smiles innocently, as if she's just had the thought and not been planning it for 2 days with the blonde.

"What a great idea, darling!" Bernie pushes Alex towards the door as well. "This is date number three, my friend." She whispers into the taller brunette's ear. "Well goodbye you two young, crazy lovebirds. Don't do anything we wouldn't do!"

Serena and Bernie watch as the two start to head down to Pulses flummoxed by this turn of events. They can't help but smile as they notice Alex struggle with whether or not to hold Jo's hand. So she settles for standing as close as possible, while the backs of their hands brush tenderly. High fives for matchmaking girl power are exchanged, as they move to eat the rest of their lunch undisturbed.

"I think we've just been had." Jo bumps hips with the brunette, once they're in the lift alone.

"You could be right." Alex laughs. "I don't mind, I'm not sure I wanted to wait until Saturday to see you again." She steals a sideways glance at Jo to check if she's spoken out of turn.

"Me neither." Jo lights up, Alex has never seen anything so breath-taking.

She moves to kiss her but they're wrenched apart by the lift pinging open at their floor.

They have a pleasant lunch, Alex only grabs a coffee after her jumbo sandwich. They discover all about each other's siblings and what they do. The types of music they each listen to, what movies, books, foods they like. Anything they can think of, desperate to find out all they can.

"So how come you ended up doing this? With an English Lit degree, it's a bit different from what you must have planned for." Alex hopes this doesn't sound patronising.

Jo takes it in the spirit it was meant. "I wanted to be a teacher actually."

"Why didn't you?" Alex put to her.

"I met Lucie and we wanted to buy a place together so we needed the money. I was able to work and study so we could afford the house. It's paid off and totally mine now." Jo sounds regretful.

"So you could still do it. If I'd had a teacher like you, I think I'd have enjoyed school a lot more." Alex flushes. "I mean, couldn't you still become a teacher, if it's your dream? It's never too late." Alex offers an encouraging smile.

Jo thinks about it. "I guess you have a point. I could look into it."

Alex notices the time and unfortunately has to make to leave. "Jo, I'm sorry. I have to be getting back. Still on for Saturday though, yeah?"

"Absolutely. Wouldn't miss it." Jo walks her to the entrance and is surprised but delighted when she kisses her goodbye. She spends the rest of the day in a loved up daze.

Saturday rolls around just in time, both women were suffering serious separation issues and were driving their friends crazy. They'd texted almost nonstop and spoken the night before on the phone to finalise everything.

Jo jumps excitedly into her taxi towards city hall and was overjoyed to see the brunette already waiting for her when the car pulled up. She pays the driver quickly and strides purposefully towards her date, smile widening with every step. "Sorry am I late, have you been waiting long?"

Alex silences her with a kiss. "I've been wanting to do that again since Thursday." Teeth bump awkwardly as they smile into another kiss but they laugh it off and keep kissing.

"Hello you." Alex smiles when they finally pull apart.

"Hi yourself." Jo smiles back at her.

"I thought we could go to a little Italian place just around the corner. Very cosy and great food. So Serena tells me." She laughs and promises to start planning more of their dates unaided. Jo just giggles along, glad there would be more and that she'd said it in the plural.

This time Alex doesn't hesitate to grab the redhead by the hand as they walk to the restaurant. Jo is glowing and she has never been happier.

Inside, the restaurant looks lovely and they are shown to a cosy (as promised) corner booth once the waiter has taken their coats. Both women wear blue jeans this time, Alex in red Converse this time and Jo in brown ankle boots. Alex had chosen to wear a plain white collar shirt and v neck black jumper. Jo had on a figure hugging taupe, scoop neck, short sleeved jumper with a long sleeved plain chocolate coloured t-shirt underneath. They both had on a little makeup and while Alex wore her hair down, Jo's was held up in a clip, messy and perfect.

"You look fantastic." Alex can't believe she's sitting opposite this woman, on a date with her. Right now.

"Don't look so bad yourself." Jo isn't sure if she'll ever get used to all the compliments but she likes hearing them from the brunette because she sees that she means every word. It's nice to be thought so beautiful by someone who is drop dead gorgeous.

They order a glass each of nice house white to accompany their pasta and chat comfortably waiting for their food.

"I thought about what you said and..." Jo fishes something out of her handbag and passes a paper to Alex "... it's my timetable for night classes, starting in the new year. I'm going to be a teacher in about 18 months. I can still work at Holby during the day and study nights and weekends." She rushed through the whole explanation, brimming with glee.

"Jo, that's amazing. You're amazing. You'll be a brilliant teacher." Alex was so excited for her. "A toast..." she raises her glass to clink with Jo's "...to dreams coming true." Alex knew it was cheesy but she was flying high in the redhead's company.

Their food was incredible and they chatted almost incessantly through the whole meal, before it was time to head to the venue for the show.

"Put that away." Jo puts her hand out to cover Alex's wallet. "It was my turn, remember?" Alex thought back to their evening at the hotel. How could she forget?

They amble hand in hand to the venue and find their seats with ease.

The first time Alex turned to see Jo laugh at the comedian on stage she knew she'd made the right choice. As the redhead curled into her side, almost doubled over, tears of laughter falling from her eyes, Alex held on to her and felt 10 feet tall. They clung to each other in kinks for the majority of the show and were still wiping tears away on the short walk to the bar they'd chosen for drinks.

Once inside they found a quiet booth, while Alex ordered their drinks at the bar, Jo sat thinking about how much she enjoyed being with the brunette. And about how this would be their fourth date. The kissing was something else but what if Alex wanted more? Jo hadn't been with anyone for a long time and she was hideously out of practice. Not to mention that her body was not 20 years old anymore and Alex was as fit as it was possible to be. She would be a huge disappointment in the bedroom, so where could this possibly go?

Alex wandered back over with Jo's glass of wine in one hand and her bottle of beer in the other, to find the other woman with a sad look in her eye. "What's wrong, Jo? Are you ok?" Alex worried that the redhead wasn't sure about them and her heart fell, she really liked this woman and she had thought it was mutual. Seeing her face now, she wasn't so sure.

"Oh nothing. It's nothing." Jo shook off Alex's concern and tried to change the subject. "So how are you finding civilian life?"

Alex didn't want to drop it but she wouldn't make the woman uncomfortable. "It has its perks." Alex leaned in to kiss the redhead but Jo turned away, crushed.

"I think maybe I should head home, it's getting late." Jo tried not to heed the heartbroken look on Alex's face. "I'll just go to that taxi rank I saw across the street and see if I can get a cab." She was gathering her things to leave and Alex could only watch confused and crestfallen.

"You haven't touched your drink. Jo, what is it? Did I do something to upset you?" Alex would do anything to keep her here.

She downed the wine in one gulp to solved that problem. "I'm sorry, Alex. I have to go."

"At least let me walk you out so I know you're getting home ok." Alex discarded her bottle on the table and struggled to keep up with the redhead as she all but ran from the bar. "Jo, wait. Slow down. What's wrong?" She tugged the woman's arm to spin them face to face.

Jo was crying and trying to wiggle out of her grip but Alex held on. "Let me go Alex, please!" She begged.

"Jo, why are you crying? Talk to me!" Alex wipes at her tears and tries to hold her but Jo pushes away.

"I can't do this. Alex, please. I'm sorry." Jo turns to keep going.

"I don't understand. I thought we were having a good time. What changed?" Alex wasn't above chasing after her apparently.

"Leave it, Alex." Jo silently prays for the brunette to just drop this. Forget her.

"At least tell me why!" Alex is desperate now.

"I haven't had sex in 5 years! Happy now?!" Jo's hand flies to her mouth. She starts to run away this time.

"I don't understand, Jo. What does that matter?" Alex was more than startled by the revelation but it didn't change anything.

"How could it not matter?" Jo bites back.

"Well, I thought we were just having a drink. I don't care when the last time you had sex was. But in the interest of full disclosure, I haven't had sex in almost 2 years." Alex thought she might as well share, seeing as it was somehow important.

"You're just lying to make me feel better." Jo stares at her incredulous.

"Feel better about what, Jo? I don't know what we're talking about." Alex was utterly bewildered.

"5 years, Alex. My own girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me for the last two years we were together. What does that tell you?" Jo was struggling to remain composed.

"Truthfully, it tells me she was a fucking moron. What does it tell you?" Alex wanted to wrap her up in her arms and never let her go.

"She didn't want me. Neither will anyone else. Neither will you." Jo sobbed.

"Do I get a say in that?" Alex hazards a hand on the other woman's arm. "You are incredible, Jo. Terrifically smart and funny and beautiful. I can hardly think about anything else. Ask Bernie and Serena, poor sods!" Jo sobs out a laugh at that. "We don't have a timescale here, I hadn't planned if or when we might have sex, but I can promise you that I do want you. Very much." Alex lifts her chin to look deep into her eyes, to make sure she knows the truth. "Shall I take you home now or will you come and have a drink with me?"

Jo searches her face and sees no deception hidden in her gorgeous features. "Why don't we go back to mine? I have a nice bottle of white we can share in the fridge."

"Lead the way." Alex kisses her and they walk hand in hand off to find a taxi.


	14. Chapter 14

Jo showed Alex in to the sitting room and told her to make herself at home, while she slipped off her boots. She scurried around the house switching lights on and turning the heating on, before going to fetch the wine she'd promised.

"You have a nice place here." Alex smiled as she handed her a glass of wine.

"Thanks. The rest is still in the fridge if you'd like any more." Jo tucked one leg underneath herself as she dropped down beside Alex on the sofa.

"Jo, I just wanted to say. If I did anything to make you think there was any pressure for us to...to...you know...to..." Alex starts to get flustered.

"Have sex?" Jo tries to help her out but is just as embarrassed.

"I don't want you to think that I would ever want you to do something that you didn't want to. I hope you didn't get upset because of me." Alex looked at her shoes ashamed that she may have caused Jo any distress. "I'm sorry."

"Alex, you have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong." Jo places her hand on the brunette's wrist. "I'm just sorry to have made such a fuss. You must think I'm some crazy woman."

"I just wanted to say, on the other hand... There is absolutely no question that I am very attracted to you and I have thought about us...doing that at some point... I know it's early days, but I won't have you believing that no one would want you." Alex starts to get up then. "God I'm sorry, I really am terrible at this."

"Alex, sit down. Please." Jo feels awful for putting her in this position, feeling like whatever she says will be the wrong thing. "Please."

Alex takes her place again beside the redhead. "It is true, you know? I really haven't been with anyone for almost two years." She looks to Jo to see if she should keep going and she sees that she is listening. "Bernie and I haven't been together, like that, for a long while. Even while we were together it was never romantic or loving, we just needed someone to be with. There were a couple of women since then, but it never got to that stage... I suppose I shouldn't really be telling you all this, not really dating conversation, is it?" Alex shakes her head, a bitter laugh leaving her lips.

"It's ok, you don't have to tell me." Jo wants to comfort this woman.

"No it's not that. But really why would the woman I'm dating want to hear about all my past conquests? Or lack thereof. Not exactly a romantic prospect, am I?" Alex smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. "I don't want you to think that I'm just lonely or desperate. I haven't been with anyone in all that time because I realised I didn't just want meaningless sex, because I never found anyone I wanted to be with. Until you." Alex looks at her and then quickly back at her sneakers. "Not just the sex part, I like spending time with you and getting to know you. You are absolutely gorgeous of course, but we have fun and I have loved being in your company."

"I feel the same way. It's just that I was so convinced that Lucie not wanting to be with me was about me and not her. Rationally, I know the truth is she didn't touch me because she was too busy screwing all round her, everyone but me really. In the end, I never felt wanted or desired so I started to believe it was because I wasn't enough for her. When I found out about her affairs, she said it was because she couldn't stand to live the rest of her life only having sex with me. That I was frigid, cold, not as interested in sex as she was. It was all my fault." Jo lets a single tear fall over her soft cheek. "I guess the truth is she was just a heartless cow who would use any excuse to justify what she did." Jo's eyes shine with unshed tears. "Sorry, I sound much more bitter about it than I really am. I'm much happier without her than I ever was with her, believe it or not. It just knocks your confidence, you know? And like you, I wasn't into meaningless flings. To use your words, I never met anyone I wanted like that. Until you." Her warm, green eyes trace the brunette's beautiful face, she sees no pity there. No judgement.

Alex caresses her cheek, wiping away the remnants of tears with the pad of her thumb. "Jo, I..." Jo hushes her by touching a finger to her mouth. She uses it to tug down her bottom lip and Alex is lost to desire.

She crushes their lips together and her tongue sweeps out demanding access to Jo's mouth. The redhead grants it and they are soon locked in a passionate kiss, tongues rubbing together, keen to explore the other's mouth. They stay like this until they have to part to breathe, and panting harshly, they each search the eyes of the other. "Alex, I want you to touch me. Please." Jo says this in a low, pleading tone that makes the brunette's heart thump against her ribs and an ache start between her legs.

"Are you sure?" Alex knows she won't stop if they go much further, so she needs to know that Jo really wants this.

Jo's only answer is to move to straddle her on the sofa and kiss her soundly. Alright then. She feels the redhead tug off her jumper leaving her in just the white shirt. Jo's own jumper and t-shirt swiftly follow, then she is above Alex in just her bra. Alex reaches up to unclip her hair and is left breathless as a cascade of red hair surrounds her. She was sensational. The brunette wraps her arms around her and strokes the skin of her back, fingers playing at the clasp of the bra. She breaks their mouths apart to pepper Jo's chest with warm kisses and sneaks a look up at the redhead, whose head is thrown back, causing her chest to lean closer to Alex's lips.

Using her considerable strength, Alex grabs on to Jo and lifts them both up off the sofa so that she can stand, with the redhead's legs now wrapped around her waist. She carries her into the hallway, kissing her with force the whole way, they stagger slightly when she bumps them into the hall table. "Sorry." She mumbles against Jo's lips as they continue to knock things over and slam against surfaces in their haste to get upstairs to the bedroom. At the top of the stairs, Alex is lost, not knowing which room is Jo's.

"Where?" she just about manages to huff out the question between kisses.

"Second on the left." Jo is glad she had made a point to turn lights on, this would have been no joke in the dark.

Alex propels them towards the indicated room and all but throws Jo on to her bed, practically tearing off her own shirt and kicking off her sneakers, she settles over the redhead and bends to kiss her again. She feels Jo's fingers thread into her brown hair, pulling her closer. Jo's hands slip down her back to unhook her bra and she gasps into her lips when the redhead begins to fondle her. She backs up enough to throw off her bra completely and look down at Jo.

"You are spectacular." She whispers against Jo's neck as she kisses her throat. She licks along her collarbone and is rewarded with a strangled sob from Jo. Alex stretches down to open the top button of the other woman's jeans, she unzips them tantalisingly slowly until Jo rears up in aroused frustration. They are now upright, face to face and Jo takes in the sight of Alex's bare chest, heaving breathlessly. She slips off her own bra and wriggles out of her jeans so that she is in front of Alex in just her panties.

They crash together for another bruising kiss and the feeling of their breasts touching makes their heads spin. "Oh Alex, I want you." Jo can't quite believe that she is doing this.

"The feeling's mutual." Alex smiles and pulls her to her again.

The redhead claws at the button of Alex's jeans but her fingers are clumsy with nervous arousal. Alex takes her trembling hand in her own, bringing it to her mouth she kisses the inside of her wrist. Breathing in her perfume, she continues the kisses all the way up her arm to her shoulder. Working up her neck to her ear, she whispers. "It's ok, Jo. Relax, I'm here. Your body is stunning, I want you and we can figure this all out together. I have you." If pressed for details later, this would arguably be the exact moment Jo would say she fell in love with Alex Dawson...

The brunette kisses her then as she unfastens her own jeans and shrugs them off to fall over the edge of the bed. Both now clad in only panties, they fall side by side on to the bed. Alex runs her hand over Jo's front, pausing to take her time with her breasts, she moves to pull a nipple into her mouth and stroke over it with her tongue. "Alex!" Jo cries out into the room as the feeling blurs her vision and makes somewhere decidedly south of her nipple throb with longing.

Alex smiles against her breast, to hear Jo call her name like that, while she's doing this to her is unbelievably sexy. She works her way down from there to kiss and stroke the redhead's stomach. Her body is phenomenal, she is so smooth and she has the most delicious curves in all the right places. This ex girlfriend of hers must have been blind and stupid. Alex feels dizzy thinking of all the glorious flesh at her disposal. She was rounder than Alex and every part of her under Alex's fingertips felt incredible. "Jo, you are beautiful." Alex's words tickle against her skin and the sentiment touches her heart.

Alex slowly brings her hand down her front to cup her over her underwear and she thrills at how soaked the fabric is. "Oh Jo, these are ruined. I think it might be best to remove them, don't you?" Alex smiles into a kiss as she feels Jo nod wordlessly. Staying on her mouth, the brunette slides her thumb under the hem and quickly whips the last barrier off the redhead's body. She moans into Jo's mouth as she feels her return the favour by slipping her panties off, until they are both uncovered.

The brunette pushes herself up to the head of the bed and half sits against the pillows and the headboard. Pulling the redhead to her, so she now has Jo kneeling in her lap above her. This provides her the perfect view of her entire front and it's quite a sight to behold. Hands on Jo's hips, she kisses her thoroughly and strokes up and down her sides, tracing the outline of her perfect curves. She laces her fingers in Jo's gorgeous hair to bring her as close as possible while she kisses her. Starting with her mouth, then down her throat and on to her chest, she kisses everything she can reach, as her hands leave her hair to smooth down her spine and cup her bum.

One hand comes up over her hip to tease the crease at the top of her thigh before finding soft curls. Jo shudders out a breath as Alex's fingers find her clit, and begin softly rubbing it while she keeps kissing her chest. "Oh yes. Alex, that feels so good!" Jo loses herself to the sensations taking over her body. "Please, Alex." Jo doesn't even know what she's asking for but she can't stop the words. Alex pulls back to search her face, Jo's eyes are blown with desire and she takes her breath away. Kissing her tenderly, she lifts her with the hand still on her backside and creates enough space between them to slide her hand fully between them and enter her with two fingers.

Jo arches at the new touch and she groans in satisfaction as the fingers begin to plunge in and out of her. Alex reels at how wet and warm and tight she is around the digits. Looking up at the woman now losing control and riding her fingers desperately, she knows she has never seen anything so perfect. Leveraging up on to her knees, Jo is able to take Alex's fingers just how she wants them, while Alex brings her thumb into the equation to rub Jo's clit with every thrust. "Oh fuck, Alex." Jo bends over to kiss the brunette beneath her and she is really grinding into her hand now, longing for sweet release.

Nipping at her chest, Alex takes one nipple between her teeth while she uses her other hand at Jo's arse to bounce her up and down on her fingers. For her part, Jo is fucking herself down on to Alex's hand with complete abandon and Alex enjoys every second of the show. Jo's breasts jiggle in her face and Alex swears she has died and gone to heaven. "So close. Alex. Don't stop." Jo finds some breath from somewhere to let the brunette knows she's on the edge now. Far from stopping, Alex redoubles her efforts, thrusting hard and rubbing her clit with a fever born of needing to see this gorgeous woman cum for her. Now.

"Oh shit. Alex. I'm going to -" the thought goes unfinished as Jo floods Alex's hand and cries out, riding down on to her fingers, climax filling her soul. Back arched, eyes closed, she is stunning, but when she leans forward and her eyes fly open to look at Alex as she cums, Alex knows she done for. She is falling for her. Hard.

Shuddering forward into the brunette, she rests her head on Alex's shoulder as she starts to come down from the ultimate high, aftershocks pulse through her in waves. "That was...You were...I..." Jo presses her forehead to Alex's and fails miserably to find a breath to complete a single thought. Her skin glows with sweat and as she searches the brunette's face, Alex sweeps her hair back to get a proper look at her. Slowly bringing her fingers out of the redhead, Alex wants to say something perfect to make the moment memorable but she can't speak.

"Jo, I...You...I..." Alex looks away embarrassed by her lack of verbal grace.

"My turn." Jo's eyes shine with want as she brings Alex's face round to meet her eyes and she kisses her. She has a wicked smile on her lips when she pulls back and begins to kiss elsewhere. Along the brunette's jawline she tickles, with barely the slightest brush of her lips, until she reaches her ear. "What do you want?" Jo moves to look her in the eye again, there is a flicker of something close to fear as Jo remembers how out of practice she is. What if she can't pleasure this woman?

"You. Just you." Alex kisses away her anxiety and Jo feels brave and desired and beautiful as she starts to caress at Alex's breasts. The brunette moans against her mouth and Jo smiles as her courage builds. Kissing at Alex's throat she palms her breasts softly as her lips make their way down to meet her hand at the brunette's left breast. Glancing up to see a look of pure need in Alex's eyes, she smiles as she takes her nipple into her mouth and sucks on it like it is her oxygen. She pinches at the other nipple and is rewarded with a sighed "Jo, oh God. Jo." No one has ever said her name like that and Jo wants to make her say it again.

Licking her way down Alex's front, which was as ludicrously toned and brown as the rest of her, Jo keeps bringing her left hand up every so often to Alex's breast to continue pinching at her nipple. She nips at the brunette's hip bone on her way to her goal. Encouraging Alex to make room for her, she rests between her spread thighs to look up at Alex. Alex lets out a groan as she knows now what the redhead is about to do to her. "I need you. Please, Jo." How could she say no to that? As Jo takes her first swipe at Alex with her tongue, the brunette cries out and thrust her hips off the bed, searching for more friction. She doesn't have to wait long...

Now placing her hands on the insides of Alex's thighs, she parts her to allow more access. Just the feeling of being spread open to this woman, makes Alex's body jolt with pleasure. Jo takes her time, making sure to taste every inch of her, leaving nothing untouched. Her tongue is warm and soft against Alex's cunt and the brunette has never known anything like it. She could cum right now, she knows it would be so easy to let go, the redhead has already driven her to that point. Somehow she holds on and just enjoys the strokes and caresses, looking down to see that mass of red hair between her thighs makes her heart swell. She wants to touch it, and she reaches for a handful of soft locks, not to direct Jo in anyway but just to hold on to part of her. "Shit!" She screams as Jo enters her with her tongue and fucks her so softly and tenderly with her mouth, Alex feels tears prick.

Stroking at her inner thigh, Jo makes love to Alex with her tongue and it feels incredible to hear how much pleasure she is giving the other woman, if the soft, desperate noises are to be believed. Bringing her tongue out suddenly, Alex feels the loss in her very soul until it is replaced with Jo's fingers and her tongue moves to the brunette's clit. Drawing curious shapes, this way and that over the swollen nub, as she curls her fingers to rub Alex's g spot. No one has ever made love to Alex like this, it's not rushed or frenzied or furtively hoping not to be discovered. There's no shame or guilt, it's not a dirty secret. It is glorious perfection and Alex could die right now and not a single regret would cross her mind. Release starts to take her, as her legs shake around Jo's head. She releases Jo's hair, a yearning to see the other woman's eyes makes her call out to her. "Jo, I'm coming. Look at me. Oh, Jo." As their eyes meet, Alex is lost entirely. She tenses and her toes curl divinely as orgasm steals her breath.

Once Jo has seen her through and made sure she's had enough, she wants to go to her. They cling to one another and kiss, Alex tastes herself on Jo's mouth and finds it stirs something inside her, to be reminded of where she's just been. They hold each other in satisfied silence for the longest time, until Alex finds the strength from somewhere to speak.

"I don't know about you, but I for one don't want to wait another two years to do that again!" They laugh into each other's mouths as Alex moves to have her again.

They take each other several times that night and in a variety of ways. Some would say making up for lost time. And as they slip under the covers, sated and exhausted, Jo is the first to fall asleep, cuddled into Alex's side.

"You were worth every second of the wait though." Alex smiles and kisses her hair, before joining her in satisfied slumber.


	15. Chapter 15

3 weeks later

The day was almost upon them when Bernie would be moving in with Serena and Jason. This time next week, she would be waking up beside her gorgeous brunette, instead of all alone in her clinical, lonely flat. She bounced out of bed to get ready for their shift, smiling at the knowledge that she would see Serena soon. And not long after that, she would see her all day, everyday for however long the rest of their time together lasted. Bernie had a good feeling that it would be a long time, if she had any say in the matter. She let the warm water of the shower soak her blonde curls straight as she hummed to herself. Soon it would be Christmas and then New Year. So many firsts for her and Serena to share. No one could wipe the smug grin from her face today. Or so she thought. A lot can change in just one day. As Bernie is about to discover...

Most of their family and friends knew by now and were over the moon for them. Everyone except Elinor. Serena wanted to tell her in person, but the only problem there was she never saw her. So it came as a shock to both of them when she turned up on the ward that morning, mumbling something about work experience for a uni project. Edward wasn't working at the moment so that was off the table. So here she was to see her darling Mummy and spend some quality time together for a change.

"Oh hello. I didn't see you there." Ellie plies herself out of Serena's embrace to address the blonde doctor who apparently shares her office now. "I'm Elinor Campbell, Serena's daughter." She offers a quick smile and a hand, which Bernie regards as though the girl is trying to pass her a unpinned grenade. How much did she know? Serena and her had never really discussed it. Should she introduce herself as Serena's girlfriend? Bernie implores Serena to help her out with a wide eyed stare.

"Oh yes. Right. Honey, this is Ms Wolfe. Bernie. She runs the ward with me. She and I are...We are... That is to say that we... We're sort of... You might say we were...Um. Dating. Each other?" Serena flushes a deep shade of red that can't really be described as any one colour. Smooth, Serena. Very smooth.

"You're what?" Elinor's hand immediately drops, just as Bernie was about to shake it. "You're not serious, Mum. You're not even gay!" Elinor storms from the room with both women chasing after her. She runs straight into Jason.

"Oh hello Elinor. I don't know if you remember me. I'm your cousin Jason Haynes. I live with Auntie Serena now. And next week I'll live with Bernie too. Auntie Serena kisses girls now." Jason smiles sweetly as if this is the best news he's ever delivered. It was for him anyway. Something about his cousin's face said that she might not think so.

"He lives with you and now SHE'S moving in. Any other developments you might have forgotten to tell your only daughter, mother dearest?" Elinor was furious.

"Her name is Bernie and while this is not how I wanted you to find out, it's true. We're going to live together and we are very much in love." Serena grasps Bernie's hand and squeezes in lightly in defiance of Elinor's childish outburst.

"This is just some middle aged experimentation, you know that, don't you?" The girl is addressing Bernie now. "She's never been interested in women before. She'll get bored or decide she'd rather be with men again after all. She'll dump you and forget you ever existed." The spite in her voice is frightening.

"How dare you speak to the woman I love like that, young lady! I taught you better." Serena is enraged.

"You've taught me nothing, because you were never there!" She spat out in Serena's face. "Dad always looked after me, no wonder he got tired of waiting for you to pay him some attention and had to go elsewhere!" Elinor gasped at her own cruel words. "Oh Mum, I'm sorry I didn't mean that."

Serena had tears in her eyes and she could honestly say she had never been more disappointed in her daughter. Not even for her treatment of the woman herself, but to lash out at Jason and Bernie. "Ellie, I think you just need some time to calm down. Get used to the idea -"

Elinor knew Serena wasn't for changing her mind then, so she said the only thing that she knew would work. "You have to choose, Mum. It's her or me. You can't have both." She stormed off to let her words sink in as Serena's heart shattered. How could she ever make a choice like that?

Bernie hardly spoke to Serena for the rest of their shift. She knew what she had to do, so she went to see Ric.

Serena was packing up, weary from the awful day they'd just had, when Bernie came back. "I wish I could say that's as bad as it'll get, but she has to stay all week or she fails her course." Serena offered a feeble smile at her own misplaced humour.

"You have to choose her Serena. I won't come between you and your daughter. I know what that's like, with Charlotte. I can't be the reason you never speak to each other again." Bernie wouldn't meet Serena's eye.

"What are you saying?" Serena was confused but she knew this was leading somewhere bad.

Bernie steeled herself for what she had to do next. "I've extended my lease for at least another month, just until I can find somewhere else if I need to. Alex can find me something at St James' or further afield, if that might be better. I'll work my notice here so that you have time to find a replacement to help with the ward."

"And what about a replacement in my bed? Have you worked that one out as well?!" Serena was incensed. "You haven't changed at all. Still making all the decisions about OUR relationship without consulting me."

"It's for the best, I'm not splitting your family up, Serena. I won't do it." Bernie stood firm even as her heart broke irreparably.

"Always so fucking noble, rescuing everyone even when they don't need to be rescued. Did it ever occur to you that you are my family now too? I've already lost you once, I don't want to lose you again. Ellie might come around, she was just shocked and upset that I didn't tell her sooner but she'll calm down, come to her senses. You'll see." Serena could see another Kiev scene coming on but she'd be damned before she begged this time.

"Why take the risk?" Bernie was insistent that she'd made up her mind, this was how it had to be.

"Because I love you! I had thought you loved me. Happiness is always worth the risk, Bernie. If I hadn't believed that I never would have found you." Serena was crying in earnest now but Bernie wouldn't budge.

"I'm sorry, Serena." Bernie grabbed her things and fled. Again. Serena didn't follow her this time.

Alex and Jo knew nothing of any of it because they both had a rare day off together. Quite a pleasant accident, or so Alex wanted the redhead to believe. It was their one month anniversary and they were heading for drinks with Bernie and Serena later to celebrate them moving into Serena's place together. Jo had remembered the significance of the date and bought Alex a gorgeous new watch with her initials and the date engraved on the back. Alex, it would seem had forgotten completely.

That was until she brought them back to her place for a bite to eat before they headed to Albies. She had strung fairy lights everywhere and the dining table was fully set, red roses and candles included. Something delicious was slowly cooking in the oven and a small jewellery box we set in the middle of the plate on one side, which Alex indicated was Jo's.

Inside was a beautiful silver hollow heart necklace with 3 diamonds along one side. Alex made a great show of taking it out of the box and standing behind Jo to put it on for her. She bent to kiss the nape of her neck as she finished hooking the clasp. "I've wanted to kiss you there ever since our second date." She drapes her arms around Jo's waist and leans her head down on the redhead's shoulder. "Happy Anniversary, Jo." is whispered softly in the redhead's ear.

"Happy Anniversary, Alex. This is beautiful. Thank you." Jo feels a slight twinge of guilt for doubting the brunette but mostly she just feels overwhelmingly loved. They haven't said the words yet but they both feel it.

Alex had used her limited culinary skills to recreate the meal they'd had in the hotel that night, with them both having lamb this time. There was even a chocolate fudge cake, with only one spoon and no awkward sharing. Once they'd finished eating, Alex cleared the table, blew out the candles and turned on her docking station to let soft swing music fill the space as she drew Jo up to dance with her.

"This was amazing." Jo cuddles into the taller woman and they sway to the music.

"It's not over yet." Alex gives her a knowing look and sweeps her arm under Jo's knees to scoop her into her arms, the redhead holding on around the brunette's neck.

In Alex's bedroom there were rose petals scattered all over the bedspread and more fairy lights strung through the head and bottom boards of the bed.

Jo had never had anyone do anything so romantic for her before. "Alex, this...I..." she longed to tell the brunette that she was in love with her, but maybe it was too soon. "This is wonderful."

As they make love for the however many-th time that evening in the brunette's bed, Alex yet again has to stop herself from declaring her undying love for the redhead as she hurtles towards climax. Which is easier said (or not said, in this case) than done. "Oh God, Jo I..." Alex aches from trying to hold in the words. She doesn't want to frighten her away, they've only been together for one month.

They get dressed to head to the bar in silence, as the weight of their undeclared feelings is heavy on their besotted hearts.

Alex's phone buzzes into the void and she snatches it up, seeing that Bernie is calling her.

"Hey, Bern. We're on our way I swear." Alex holds the phone between her ear and shoulder as she struggles into one of her sneakers. "Cancelled, why?"

Jo pricks up at that.

"I'm sure that you both said things you didn't mean. Nothing that can't be fixed...Are you sure?...Ok I'll see what I can find out...Do you want me to come over?...Contact me if you need me, yeah?...Will you be ok?...Ok, bye."

"What is it?" Jo sees the look on Alex's face.

"Bernie and Serena have split up. They're not moving in together. Serena's daughter wanted her to choose between them and Bernie made sure she would pick her daughter. Apparently she wants me to find her a job at St James'. She was playing tough but she sounds devastated." Alex couldn't believe it, she'd never known the definition of "made for each other" until she'd seen them together.

"Wait, is her daughter Elinor Campbell?" Jo remembered seeing the name in a work email.

"Yeah, I think so why?" Alex didn't understand the importance of the question.

"She's on work experience with Mr Griffin tomorrow. After everything they've done to get us together, we have to help them. And I have a plan." Jo just hoped it would work.


	16. Chapter 16

The following day Jo set her plan into motion, calling down to the office, she found Serena alone. She looked heartbroken and she had clearly been crying. Jo was more determined than ever to make this right.

"Afternoon Serena. I hope you don't mind, I was with Alex last night when Bernie called her about you two. Are you ok?" Jo moved closer to her friend.

"Oh yes, of course. How was your anniversary evening?" Serena struggled not to start crying again.

"Oh you know?" Jo let a small smile play across her lips at the memory, Serena was taking the bait. "She bought me this necklace." Jo held the pendant out for her friend to admire.

"Jo, it's beautiful. I'm so happy for you both." Serena's words were sincere but her face showed anything but happiness.

"I just wanted to say that what Bernie did is reprehensible, she is such a coward." Jo put on her best disgusted look.

"Steady on, Jo. Don't you think that's a bit harsh? Bernie is many frustrating things, but she is the bravest person I know. We're not together now because she insisted that I choose Elinor over her. I don't agree with her decision but she did it out of love. I love her and I will not have you bad mouthing her. Are we clear?" Serena was gobsmacked by Jo's coldness.

"That's all I needed to hear." Jo kissed her on the cheek and closed her door on the way out. Serena wasn't exactly sure what had just happened.

"You heard that?" Jo turned to the young woman hidden out of sight but in clear earshot of the office.

"Every word." Elinor at least had the decency to look ashamed.

"Now if you'll follow me, we can hear it from the other side." Jo put a kind arm around the young girl's shoulder and hoped that Alex would be with Bernie putting her part in to place.

Alex had a day off, so she'd come to offer Bernie some moral support in the form of the strongest coffee known to man (or woman) and a pastry for lunch. How was she to know that a pain au chocolat would reduce the army Major to tears? Jo had some serious intel, she'd have been quite the force to be reckoned with in a war.

"Come on, Bern. It can't be that bad." Alex put a hand on her friend's arm as they sat on a bench outside the hospital. She threw a quick unseen wink at Jo as she brought Elinor as close as possible without being seen.

"How is this not bad, Alex?" Bernie was inconsolable. "The women I love hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. Just her daughter does." Alex flinched at her own forced cruelty and hoped this would work.

"Thanks. But you know I couldn't ask Serena to choose me. I can't ask her to lose her daughter because of me. Look at how Charlotte and I have ended up." Bernie knew she was doing the right thing even though it was killing her.

"So what you just give up? If you ask me, Serena deserves better than that." Please God don't hate me and just let this work, Alex thinks.

"She does, she deserves the whole world. I would give it to her if I could. I'd do anything to make her as happy as she makes me. That girl needs her Mum, Al. This is for the best." Bernie regarded her friend willing her to make this the right decision, because all Bernie wanted to do was run and tell Serena it was a huge mistake and hold her for always.

"Heard enough yet?" Jo saw tears in the girl's eyes at the mess she'd created. "They make each other happy, they are in love. No matter how hard that is for you to come to terms with, this isn't about you, Elinor. Your Mum wasn't choosing Bernie over you. It's not about Bernie being a woman, from what I understand your Dad made her desperately unhappy. So what if she's found some happiness with a woman now? Doesn't she just deserve to be happy regardless?"

"What have I done? Can we fix this?" Elinor fixes Jo with a pleading stare.

"I think I know a way, but we'll need your help." Jo signals silently to Alex that they were moving to phase 2. She led Elinor back inside praying this would work.

"Come on, Bern. You'll freeze out here. Let's get you inside." Alex put an arm round her friend and guided her to the main doors.

Alex took Bernie to their office, making sure that Serena wasn't inside. Jo must have gotten Elinor to distract her Mum elsewhere as planned.

"Hey, would you mind if I go and see Jo while I'm here?" Alex threw Bernie a loved up grin. They should get Oscar nominations at the very least for these performances.

"Um, no you go on ahead. Did your anniversary go well last night?" Bernie was glad that someone was lucky in love.

"Great, she bought my this." Alex flashed her the watch.

"Nice." Bernie barely looked at it.

"See ya in a bit." Alex feigned leaving to see her girlfriend. Firing a quick text off to Jo that everything was ready and to give it 20 minutes to action the rest of the plan, giving them time to set up the next part. She headed for the roof to do her bit.

Once everything was ready, she saw Jo come through the door to check on progress.

"What do you think?" Alex swept her hand over the area to garner Jo's opinion.

"I think you're amazing." Jo stretched up to kiss her girlfriend. "This had better work."

"Ready?" Alex grabbed her phone from her pocket and watched Jo do the same.

"Ready." Jo nodded beside her.

Alex sent a text to Bernie as Jo sent a similar one to Serena.

"Had a huge argument with Jo, think we're finished. Can you come to the roof, I need to talk?"

"You think that'll do it?" Alex looks down at her girlfriend and hopes they've done enough.

"Only one way to find out. We wait." Jo pulled on Alex's hand to lead her back downstairs, as it started to get slightly dark, making Alex's efforts all the more worth it.

"Alex, are you up here?" Bernie called out for her friend as she swung the door to the roof open. "What the -" She stepped further out on to the roof, not sure what was going on.

The door swung open behind her moments later as Serena came in search of Jo. "Jo, is that you?" Serena heard movement from somewhere but her eyes were drawn to the far side of the roof. "What on Earth -"

On the railings, along one side were a string of fairy lights and a small picnic basket with a bottle of Shiraz and two wine glasses beside it.

"Serena?" Bernie spotted the brunette as she circled back on her search for Alex.

"Bernie? What are you doing up here? Was this you?" Serena pointed at the scene.

"Not guilty." Bernie held her hands up in mock surrender. "Alex said to meet her up here, I just figured she and Jo had made up after all."

"Alex? I got a message from Jo saying they'd fallen out and to come up because she needed someone to talk to." Serena's face creased in confusion and then the truth dawned on her.

"Mum?" Elinor came up behind them then. "I asked them to help me get you two up here. There's something I have to say. To you both. I'm so sorry for the things I said and I don't want Mum to choose between us if it only makes her unhappy. Jo showed me how miserable you both are without each other and that isn't fair so please don't break up because of me. There's no reason why Mum can't have us both in her life and with Bernie moving in it will be easier for me to get to know her when I come visit." Elinor flashed them both a watery smile, hoping this could still be salvaged.

"Ellie, that's very kind of you but Bernie isn't moving in now." Serena threw her arm around her daughter and squeezed her close.

"This is all my fault, I'm so sorry Mum. Can't you change your mind?" Ellie looked to Bernie hopefully.

"Well, I don't think your Mum wants me there after what I've done." Bernie felt tears roll down her cheeks.

"I do." Serena replies emphatically.

"Really?" Bernie looked up shyly through her fringe.

"Why don't you two stay up here for a while and iron out the details? Alex said she would give me a lift home." Elinor heads back downstairs with a thumbs-up to the two women waiting for her.

"Never let a good Shiraz go to waste that's what I say!" They both laugh as Serena moves to open the wine. "Now what do we have here?" She peeks into the picnic basket. "Ah cheese and crackers. Perfect!"

Bernie pulls Serena to her, ignoring the food and wine, she has a hankering of an entirely kind. She crashes her mouth against Serena's in a strong kiss. They stay like that until they need air. "Serena, I can retract my resignation easily enough but my lease is already signed now, how about we move everything to the end of next month? I want nothing more than to be with you and this way Elinor can adjust to the change before she sees me living in her home."

"Sounds ideal." Serena kisses her then. "But can we still have sleepovers in the meantime?" Serena fixes her eyes on the blonde, leaving no doubt as to what she's saying.

"I'll bring my best pyjamas." Bernie chuckles against her lips.

"I wouldn't bother, you won't be needing them." Serena gives her a wicked smile.

"How about we pack all this into my boot for tonight and take our two love gurus for a drink when Alex comes back." Bernie wants to thank her friend.

"I'd like that." Serena puts her arm around the blonde and they wander back inside carrying their picnic for later.

The two couples find a booth at Albies later, as they raise a glass to love and friendship.

"Hooray!" Alex and Jo are delighted that their friends will still be moving in together, even it has been postponed for a few weeks.

"And you two sneaky devils were superb today. Thank you." Serena kisses both of them sweetly on the cheek in gratitude.

"It was Jo's plan, I just went along with it." Alex looks at the redhead and it is glaringly obvious to the other couple that they're way far gone. Serena and Bernie throw each other a quirk of eyebrows, their friends were clearly very much in love and they were thrilled for them.

"Would you like us old cronies to leave you to it?" Serena quipped, tearing their attention back to the booth.

"Um, my round I think. Same again?" Alex blushes as she's stands to fetch some more drinks.

"So...?" Serena rounds on the redhead once Alex makes her way to the bar. "How are things going?" Serena tips her almost empty glass in Alex's direction with a cheeky smile at her friend.

Jo can't stop herself from smiling and playing with the necklace Alex gave her. "Fine. Everything's just fine." Jo lets out a contented sigh.

"Only fine?" Serena wants the juicy details clearly. "Have you said the L word yet?" Serena nudges the redhead.

"Not yet." Jo twirls the stem of her wine glass with a palpably disappointed shrug of her shoulders.

"But you do love her." Jo can't help but notice that it isn't a question. "And she feels the same."

"Do you think so?" Jo casts a look at Alex's back as she leans on the bar waiting to order.

"Absolutely. It's obvious." Bernie chips in.

The corners of Jo's lips tug into a smile. "I should tell her."

"You should." Both women say this in unison.

Jo throws back the rest of her drink for Dutch courage before standing up. "I'll just go see if she's needs a hand."

She didn't make it very far before she felt a hand on her wrist, pulling her in the other direction. She turns to see who it is and almost faints with the shock. "Lucie?"

As if her spidey senses are tingling, Alex turns to see a woman grab Jo by the arm. She makes her way back to her, shoving through the crowd.

"Jo is everything ok?" Alex looks between the two women, not sure what she senses going on. Bernie and Serena aren't sure if they should intervene or not. Who's Lucie?

The redhead ignores Alex's concern. "Lucie what are you doing here?"

"Lucie?" Alex's knees give out slightly as she breathes out the name of Jo's ex girlfriend. Yes, what was she doing here? Bernie stands to help her friend sit back at the table, throwing her a questioning look.

This Lucie is about Alex's height but more Jo's build, shoulder length jet black hair and dark eyes. Alex couldn't stand to look at her.

"Your Mum said you were working at Holby now and they said inside, that if you weren't at your desk you might be here." She smiles at Jo and Alex wants to knock all of the teeth out of her head.

"How did you convince them to give you the information?" Jo snaps at her. That's it Jo, Alex thinks, you tell her. Sod off!

"Just said I was your partner." Lucie grins and strokes a finger up Jo's arm. Bernie has to hold Alex in her seat. I'll kill her!

"Don't touch me!" Jo shrugs her away.

"Come on, Jo. We were good together, you remember? I miss you." Lucie makes her intentions clear.

"You're not serious. It's been 3 years Lucie. You didn't miss me when you were screwing anything with a pulse behind my back." Jo is shaking with rage.

"I've changed." Lucie tries.

Alex huffs out an incredulous snarl. Jo suddenly remembers they're all there watching her. "I'm with someone else, I'm happy." Alex sits a little taller in her seat. You tell her, Jo.

"We were good together." Lucie can't take a hint.

"Lucie, I can't do this right now. I just can't." Jo makes to walk away.

"When then?" Lucie grabs at her wrist again. Alex has had enough.

"Get you hands off my girlfriend!" Alex's tone leaves no room for quibbling.

"Alex, it's fine. I'm fine, please don't make a scene." Jo looks to Bernie and Serena to calm Alex down. The two women do their best.

"I'm going to use the bathroom and when I come back, you will not be here." Jo throws this at Lucie before she walks off to go compose herself in the ladies. Serena goes with her to make sure she's alright.

"You heard her. Get out!" Alex glares at the woman.

"Don't worry I'm going. You're welcome to her, frigid bitch!" Lucie bites out.

Alex sees red and Bernie isn't fast enough to stop her this time. She only stood to frighten her, Alex was many things but she would never hit another woman. Her sudden movement startles Lucie though and she loses her balance on a table leg backing away. She crashes to the floor in a rain of shattered glasses and spilled drinks.

Jo comes back just in time to see her current girlfriend standing over her now bleeding ex girlfriend sprawled on the floor.

"Alex, what are you doing?" Jo stares at her wide eyed, she actually looks frightened of the brunette. "Leave her alone! Jesus, Lucie are you ok?" Jo crouches to check the woman.

Lucie sees her chance. "She's crazy, she just lunged at me. She's a maniac."

"No, Jo that's not how it was. You have to believe me, I didn't touch her. I swear to you, she tripped. Tell her!" Alex turns to Bernie.

"I don't want to hear it, Alex. I'm taking her next door to get checked out." Jo helps the woman to her feet and Serena takes one arm while Jo takes the other.

"Please, Jo. You can't think I did this. You know me." Alex was crying now.

"Do I?" Jo looks right through the brunette.

Alex slumps down in her seat, knowing she's lost her.

Bernie has to go with Serena to check Lucie over but she doesn't want to leave Alex in this state. "I'll talk to her, I'll tell her the truth."

"Just go." Alex shrugs her friend away.

Lucie has only minor cuts and scraps, no real damage done. They bandage her up and Jo takes her to stay in her spare room for the night. Bernie tries to get through to the redhead, but it just looks like army buddies sticking up for one another.

It's almost 3am when Alex slams on Serena's front door, not knowing where else to go. Bernie wasn't home so she had to be here. Luckily Jason was away for the night. Alex is very drunk and utterly heartbroken.

Serena opens the door, heavy with sleep. "Alex?"

"What do I do Serena? What do I do?" Alex falls into the smaller brunette who half carries her inside to slump on to her sofa. "She won't talk to me. She hasn't answered my texts, she won't pick up my calls." Alex rakes her hands through her hair in frustration. Bernie sits by her friend and looks up at the woman she loves, hoping that between them that they can think of a way to mend things. "How do I fix this Bernie? You have to help me. I've fallen in love with her." Alex glances between the two women, eyes pleading for them to think of something.

She cries herself to sleep on Serena's sofa as both women sit with her all night.


	17. Chapter 17

6 weeks later

It is almost the end of January now and Bernie will move into Serena's on the last weekend of the month. She and Serena have had Christmas and New Year together but it hasn't been the same as if they lived together. Although they have to be glad that they are not Alex or Jo. Both have looked miserable since that night at Albies all those weeks ago. Alex was barely a shadow of her former self, she never stopped working and she looked exhausted, but she wouldn't stop. Anything to keep her mind off losing Jo. She never goes out anymore and she crashes on Bernie's sofa when she can. Even at home, she doesn't sleep in her bed because it reminds her too much of when Jo was there. She had stopped trying to call her or contact her, hadn't knocked on her door begging to see her since Lucie had answered it in next to nothing. Alex was guessing that she wasn't in the spare room anymore.

That was when Alex decided that she needed to leave, start over somewhere that wasn't full of memories of Jo. So when Holby needs a locum anaesthetist on her day off from St James', she is reluctant to work there, but she needs the money until her house is sold. This is how she comes to be with Bernie and Serena in their office one Thursday between theatre slots. They try to lift her spirits but there's nothing that works. She has just told them about her plans to leave in 2 week's time when Jo knocks on the office door.

"Come." Serena calls to the person at the door.

"Serena, Mr Griffin asked me to -" She stops dead when she sees Alex perched on the edge of their shared desks. "Oh sorry, I didn't realise that you...I'll come back later."

"No, it's ok. I'll go." Alex moves to leave and Jo's eye is drawn by the watch she'd bought her on Alex's wrist, as the face catches the light, at the same moment as Alex notices that Jo still wears the necklace she gave her. They hadn't completely forgotten each other then. "I'll see you in theatre in 15." She looks back at the two surgeons before she heads out of the office.

Serena sees something cross the redhead's features and she chances a thought. "Sorry about that Jo. Alex didn't want to work here but we were desperate, so she filled the breach at the last minute. She needs every penny now that she'll be leaving."

"Leaving?" Jo goes lightheaded at Serena's words.

"Yep, says she's for Australia of all places. Can you believe it?" Serena pushes for a reaction from the redhead.

Jo can't feel her legs and she fights not to cry. "Australia?" Jo's head spins and she thinks she might be having a heart attack.

"I know. Incredible, isn't it? Now the house is under offer that should provide her with some more cash. Fingers crossed." Serena doesn't know how hard to press, as she sees the woman in front of her blanche.

"She sold her house?" Jo thinks of all the lovely things they'd done together in that house. "When does she leave?"

"Fortnight." Never has Serena seen one word cause so much pain.

"Oh." Jo knows she is dying now. This is what dying feels like, she knows it. She doesn't remember anything after that because she passes out.

"Jo? Can you hear me, Jo? Open your eyes for me, Jo?" A voice calls to her and all she knows is that her head feels like it might explode.

She opens her eyes but it hurts. "Too much light."

"Yes, it's ok Jo. That's my penlight, I need to check you over, Jo." The voice sounds familiar but she can't place it.

"Alex. I have to see Alex. Where's Alex?" Jo flails her arms to push up to find the brunette but she feels woozy and has to sink back down again.

"It's ok, Jo. I'm here." Alex's voice fills her ears and she starts to cry then.

She feels Alex's warm hand on her face and she keeps crying. "Please, don't go Alex. Please don't leave."

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere until I know you're alright." Alex reassures her.

"No, that's not what I mean -" Jo passes out again.

When she comes round Alex is sitting by her bed waiting for her to wake up.

"Hello you." Alex smiles at her and Jo's heart aches. "How are you feeling?"

"What happened?" Jo tries to sit up but it's too fasts and the room spins.

"Woah, easy. Easy." Alex strokes her hair and Jo wants to stay here forever. "You hit your head on the desk when you passed out. They stitched you up and you still look beautiful." Alex smiles down into her eyes. "But you blacked out again so they did a scan. Everything's fine, but you'll be observed for concussion now that you're awake."

"Can I go home?" Jo doesn't want to be in the hospital.

"Not unless you have someone to stay with you. Is there anyone?" Alex explains.

"Can I stay with you?" Jo pleads.

Alex considers it and looks like she might agree when they're interrupted.

"Hey Jo-Jo. Are you ok babe? They called me at work, said you had an accident." Lucie looks down at her. "Can you come home tonight?"

Alex is about to explain what she'd just told Jo when the redhead beats her to it.

"No, I have to stay in overnight. Isn't that right Dr Dawson?" Jo looks to Alex and the brunette tries not to read too much into the change of heart.

"Yes...You'll be under obs overnight but you should be fine to go home tomorrow, provided everything's ok tonight." Alex smiles kindly at the redhead. "You were meant to be at class tonight, right? I remember you said it started this week. Do you need someone to call them and explain?"

"No. She decided not to bother with that stupid class." Lucie pitched in.

"I'm sorry Ms um Ms..." Alex looks to Lucie for a surname.

"Jackson." She replies snidely.

"Well Ms Jackson. Ms Phillips needs to rest now and visiting time is over, so if you wouldn't mind..." Alex gestures that she should bugger off.

"I'll be back tomorrow to take you home babe." Lucie goes to kiss the redhead and Jo shrugs her away.

Alex waits until Lucie is out of sight. "Why would you give up your class Jo? You wanted it so much. Maybe it's not too late if you call them and explain that you want to enrol late this term. You might only miss this week, you could catch up no problem." Alex looks stricken that Lucie has convinced Jo to give it up.

"You remembered?" Jo tried not to cry at how much she missed the brunette.

"Of course I remember. You showed me the schedule on our fourth date. Remember the Italian restaurant and the comedy show? That was the first night we..." Alex had been far away, lost in the memory but she caught herself as she realised she was about to say "made love." She swallows down the words and tries not to choke on them. "Anyway, I'm glad you're ok. Bernie and Serena are on for a little while yet, but try to rest." Alex stands to leave and it hits them both that this could well be the last time they ever see each other. Alex shifts from foot to foot, wondering what the most appropriate goodbye is with the woman you love but can't have. She settles for a squeeze of Jo's hand and a hushed "take care of yourself, Jo. I wish you and Lucie a lifetime of happiness."

Jo eyes are wild as it dawns on her that this is it. Alex is walking away, she has to stop her, say something. "Alex?" Her voice is strained, high-pitched, desperate.

Alex turns back." Why did you do it? Lucie...that night at Albies?" Jo needed a reason.

Alex looks desolate, after everything they'd been through together Jo didn't trust her. "You know I didn't." She stares straight into the redhead's eyes willing her to believe her.

"Then why would Lucie say you did?" Jo's head hurts from her confusion.

"I don't know, you tell me. She's your girlfriend." Alex is bitter now, can taste the bile rising in her throat. She turns again to leave.

"Alex?" Jo tries one last time. "I don't want to stay here tonight, can I come home with you? Please." Jo knows she shouldn't ask this of her, it's too much. But if they'll never see each other again, Jo wants to keep her with her a bit longer.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Jo..." She doesn't add because if she takes her home, she's sure she won't know able to let her go tomorrow. "...it might be best to be here, in the hospital, where they can keep an eye on you."

"Please." It's the look on Jo's face that breaks her resolve.

"Alright. I'll just go grab my things and help you out to my car." Alex heads off to the locker room just knowing that this is a very bad idea. She can't help but want it anyway.

She stops by Bernie and Serena's office to let them know and get Jo's discharge papers. They both look at her like she's gone mad.

"Don't look at me like that, will you?" Alex doesn't want to hear how stupid this is. She knows that already, but at least this way she can pretend for a bit longer.

"What about Lucie?" Serena chances a bit of common sense.

"I don't know. She didn't want to go home with her so she asked if she could stay at mine." Alex says it so plainly, like it's the most natural thing in the world.

"Right. Well you know to wake her every hour or so and the questions to ask and the signs of concussion. So if she deteriorates at all, you bring her straight back in." Bernie is worried for her friend, worried that the redhead will hurt her again and she doesn't want to see that happen. She barely survived this time. But then any fool could see they were in love so who knows? Maybe they could sort this out and Alex wouldn't have to run to the other side of the world. Bernie smiles at the irony, as if she'd never done exactly the same thing...

The drive to Alex's is silent. Neither knows what to say to the other. When Alex opens the front door it hits Jo again that she's leaving soon. Cardboard boxes strewn on every available surface, filled with a lifetime of Alex. Some taped up and ready to ship, some not full yet. Jo had hardly registered the "Under Offer" sign out front but this made it real.

"Sorry about the mess. Packing, you know how it is?" Alex tries to clear a space for her to sit down.

Jo notices the makeshift bed Alex has made on the sofa before the brunette can bundle it all away to let her sit down. Was Alex sleeping on the sofa? Why?

"Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry, I guess you didn't have dinner yet? I'm starving." Alex lies, her stomach is in knots. She may never be able to eat again.

"Yeah, sure." Jo's stomach is in a similar state but she figures that they have to eat.

"I don't have much in but I could order some takeaway. What do you fancy?" Alex smiles shyly, not aware of what she's said, as Jo struggles not to answer "you."

"I don't mind, you choose." Jo heads to the kitchen. "I'll just make us some coffee."

"Em, no caffeine I'm afraid." Alex points to her head to indicate the wound.

"I guess a glass of wine's out of the question." Jo smiles and Alex's heart constricts in her chest.

"Afraid so." Alex can't breathe properly. This was a terrible idea.

Alex orders some Chinese food and they stick to water. Very little is said between them and they both almost spit out their water when Alex's iPod shuffles to the swing music they danced to on their anniversary.

"Sorry. Forget that was on there." Alex almost hammers the thing to get it to turn off. "Right well it's getting late. We should really get some um sleep. Well you should. I'll be awake. Watching you." Alex's realises that makes her sound like some crazy stalker so she adds "for signs of concussion." She huffs out an exasperated sigh. Jesus, this was hard work.

They head upstairs to Alex's room but then she can't go in. "Maybe you should take one of the spare rooms and I can sleep on the floor." Alex knows she can't share a bed with this woman.

"No. Alex. You can't sleep on the floor in your own house. This is fine." Jo fakes more courage than she feels.

Alex pulls an old pair of pyjamas out for the redhead and goes to find her a spare toothbrush from the bathroom. Mercifully she is totally changed when Alex comes back brandishing the toothbrush.

They switch and Jo goes to brush her teeth as Alex changes into shorts and a vest top for bed. Really she could have stayed in her clothes for all the sleep she'll get but it's too late now as Jo comes back. Jo tries not to swoon at all the brunette's skin on show or how she can see her nipples through the top. Must be the head injury she thinks as she has to sit on the bed to steady herself.

"I'll just go brush mine now." Alex scurries off to the bathroom.

Jo settles herself under the covers as Alex comes back with a blanket. "This way I can sleep on top of the duvet." Alex explains.

"Right." Jo can hardly contain her bitter disappointment that there will be no skin on skin tonight then.

"So I'll wake you every hour or so and asks you some questions "what the date is", "who's prime minister," that kind of thing." Alex explains with kind eyes. Jo had missed those eyes. And that nose. And that mouth. Oh and the things it could to her. She feels her body blush at the memories and tries to calm down. "You should try to get some rest. It's only precautionary. Everything looked perfectly normal on the scan."

Jo can't stay awake as exhaustion drags her to sleep. The first hour is torture as Alex watches the woman she loves sleeping less than a breath away. She looks so peaceful, beautiful and Alex's fingertips burn with not touching her. Alex is loathe to wake her but she has to be sure she's ok. As she stirs the first time, she forgets where she is and her face crinkles with confusion. She recognises Alex but she can't remember why she's there. Alex panics that it's a sign of amnesia from the head wound and prepares to fly out of the bed, sweep her up and speed to the hospital. Her hearts pounds as she gets angry with herself for bringing her here, she should have stayed on the ward where she'd be closer to help.

Thankfully it just turns out to be sleepiness and she answers all the questions with precision. Alex relaxes slightly but she watches her more closely, eyes rimmed with concern for the next few hours. She answers everything just fine and seems more alert on the following checks and at some point they pass the 8 hour mark and Alex feels the tension lift. At some point she drifts off beside her, wrung out from all the worry.

Caught in that moment between sleeping and awake, Alex finds that she has cocooned the redhead in her arms as they slept. She forgets why they are there, everything that has gone before, and there is only Jo. Her body wrapped in Alex's arms, her scent in her nostrils, her hair tickling her face and filling her vision. This is the most vivid dream she'd had yet of the redhead lying in her bed. She kisses along her neck and her skin is so smooth, so real against Alex's lips that she swears she is actually there. "Jo, hmm Jo." She kisses along her jaw until she feels the other woman turn towards her and she captures her mouth for a searing kiss. Alex will contest with her dying breath that this is the best dream she's ever had. Her hands start to undo the buttons of Jo's pyjama top (she thinks it odd that Jo's wearing her pyjamas in her fantasy but these things can happen in dreams she figures). She slides the edges apart and is just taking her first handful of soft breasts when Jo gasps into her mouth. "Oh Alex, yes."

Oh shit. Alex leaps off the bed, away from her. "Oh God. Jo, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...I. Forgive me. Please. I thought I was dreaming...I'm sorry." Alex looks torn between contrite and totally aroused. "Why didn't you stop me?"

"I don't want you to stop." Jo sits up and the edges of the pyjama top fall open. Alex stares wordlessly at her perfect breasts as Jo removes the top completely. Offering herself to the brunette. She stares expectantly into Alex's eyes as her chest heaves with every shaky breath.

"I'll drive you home." Alex leaves to let her get dressed.


	18. Chapter 18

Jo kicked Lucie out of her spare room as soon as Alex's car sped round the corner.

"And I'll thank you to stop telling everyone that I'm your girlfriend. I should have known you'd try something like this. What's wrong Luce, latest fling kick you out, so you thought good old Jo could be taken for a mug again?!" Jo couldn't believe she'd fallen for her lies again. She was nothing but free room and board to the woman.

"Come on Jo-Jo, I have nowhere else to go." Lucie figured once a soft touch, always a soft touch.

"I don't care, maybe you should have thought of that before you let me work all the hours God sent paying for this place, while you spent every last penny on you latest conquest." Jo feels liberated as she closes the door on her worthless backside. Lucie would stay with her parents, it wasn't like she was making her homeless.

The next thing she did was phone the admissions director for her teaching course, explaining that she would be enrolling after all, starting the following week.

Serena noticed that something was different about her friend since the night she'd had her head injury, but she couldn't figure it out. Alex wouldn't tell either her or Bernie what had happened that night, but it was obvious something had.

Alex was working another locum shift the following week when it all came to a head.

"Alex, I asked Jo to come see me before she heads home tonight so if you'd rather make yourself scarce..." Serena smiled at the brunette hoping she didn't think she was trying to get rid of her.

"Thanks for the heads up." Alex wasn't fast enough though as Jo came through the door. "I'm just going." Alex throws out, as she avoids the redhead's eye, gathering her things to head home.

"Hey Jo, Bernie and I were just wondering if you wanted to go for a drink with us?" She hadn't seen much of her since the previous week and she wanted to check how she was.

"I'd love to but I can't tonight. I have class." Jo wouldn't look at Alex but she saw her straighten at the news out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, what kind of class?" First she'd heard of it.

"Teaching." Jo smiled warmly.

"So you'll be leaving us then?" Serena was intrigued and disappointed.

"Not straight away, but eventually yes." Jo hadn't told her friend the whole truth.

"Will you teach locally?" Bernie noticed that Alex hadn't left, just stood watching the exchange.

"No. Once the house is sold, I'll be moving on." Jo blushed, she should really have told them in private.

"You're selling your house?" Serena couldn't believe it.

"Well I'm looking into it, early days yet." Jo wanted to leave. "Anyway, unless there was something else, can't be late for my first class." Jo turned to go.

"Hang on! We're having the house warming party you suggested after all, this Saturday night if you and Lucie can make it." Serena saw both Alex and Jo flinch at Lucie's name.

"I'd like that, but Lucie won't be there." Jo didn't want to say anymore but Serena pressed on.

"Oh well, maybe you could bring her round for dinner one night. We could get to know her." Serena couldn't think of anything worse but she missed her friend.

"There's no need, really." Jo wished Serena would drop it. "Thanks for the thought though."

"How are things going with you two, she seems nice?" Bernie hated the woman.

"She isn't." Jo snaps.

"Excuse me?" Serena didn't quite catch what she'd said.

"Oh for God sake, just leave it alone will you?! There's no need to pretend to like her, she was running around telling everyone we were together, which is not true. I kicked her out. Ok?" Jo was mortified at her own gullibility.

"But the night you passed out, they let her in because she was your girlfriend." It was Alex who said this.

"I guess they remembered her from the night at Albies and just assumed she was." Jo shrugged. "Actually, while you're here Alex could I borrow you for a second?" Jo had one more wrong to right.

"Um, ok." Alex looked worried.

"We'll leave you to it." Bernie signalled for Serena to follow and they gave the women some space.

Jo watched them go before she turned to the brunette. "I just wanted to apologise for taking Lucie's part that night." Jo looks ashamed.

"She finally told the truth then?" Alex looked relieved.

"No. She doesn't have to. You're right. I know you. I know you would never do that. I'm sorry. " Jo would never forgive herself for doubting this warm, kind, gentle woman.

"So you and she were never back together?" Alex takes a step towards the redhead.

"No." Jo saw Alex move closer and she retreated slightly.

"That changes things. I wish I'd known." Alex looks disappointed.

"I don't understand." Jo's brow furrows.

"Well part of the reason why we stopped...why I stopped, that morning after you hurt your head..." Alex reaches out to stroke the dressing "... was because I thought you were with her."

"Oh." Jo feels dizzy at Alex's touch. "So if you'd known -"

"I wouldn't have stopped." Alex gives her a wicked smile.

"Um. Look, Alex I should go. I'll be late for my first night." Jo makes no attempt to move, glued to the spot by the brunette's stare.

"Ok. So where will you go once the house is sold?" The mood shifted, Alex looked serious again.

"Not as far as Australia anyway." Jo attempts a smile but it doesn't quite go to plan. She shouldn't get into this, with Alex leaving in 3 days.

"Didn't you hear? I'm not going." Alex moves closer again.

"You're not?" Jo is shocked.

"The sale of my house fell through at the last minute, so..." Alex shrugs unconcerned.

"Oh, I'm sorry Alex." Jo wasn't one bit sorry.

"No you're not." Alex can read her like a book.

"No I'm not." Jo smiles, when did Alex move so close to her?

"Have dinner with me tomorrow night." Alex doesn't wait for her to answer, she just kisses her. "I've missed you. So much." Alex has tears in her eyes. "What time does your class finish at?"

Jo kisses her back and feels herself wrapped in her strong arms, just where she was always meant to be. "I've missed you too. My class finishes at 9pm. Why?" Alex nibbles on her bottom lip and Jo reels.

"Come over to mine after. I want you." Alex pats her playfully on the backside as she turns her to the door and sends her on her way.

Jo hears nothing of her class that night, her mind is on Alex wanting her. She reaches the brunette's front door at 9.08pm by driving at ridiculous speeds to get there. Alex opens the door before she even knocks and she throws herself into the brunette's arms.

Alex crushes their lips together in a bruising kiss, tearing Jo's coat from her body. They leave a trail of clothing in their wake as they try to make it to Alex's bedroom. Once they fall on to the covers, Jo looks to the brunette.

"Alex, I need to tell you something."

Alex's face moves up to hers and she looks worried. "What is it Jo?"

The redhead flips her on to her back and straddles her hips. Kissing over her body, so happy to finally have her with her again. Alex strokes at the necklace she gave her all that time ago. "Alex I..." Jo falters.

"What's wrong? You know you're can tell me anything." Alex tugs on one of her nipples and Jo's train of thought derails.

"Don't stop." Jo feels Alex's hands on her skin like the warmest fire.

"Wasn't planning to." Alex grins against her other breast as she traps her nipple between her teeth. She lifts Jo and places her on the pillows at the head of the bed. She kisses her and the brunette drops her kisses lower and lower until she's almost there...

Jo bucks up into her when she reaches the apex of her thighs. "Alex. Wait. Come here." Jo doesn't know where she found the strength. Alex's kisses her way back up, as requested.

"You beckoned." The brunette kisses her softly.

"I'm in love with you." Jo's soft green eyes stare straight into hers and she looks worried. "I should have told you sooner."

"Jo, my Jo. I am so in love with you." Alex makes her way back to her previous position. "Shall I show you how much?" And she does. Oh dear God, does she show her. She plants hot kisses to her inner thighs and each one is followed by her warm breath as she whispers "I love you." She uses her tongue to write it with the tip all along the skin as well. She traces it with her fingers on the other side and she keeps saying it softly, until Jo is sure it is the only sound she will ever hear again.

Jo can never be sure, but she is convinced that she draws it with every stroke of her tongue against the redhead's clit. Whatever she's doing, Jo has never felt better. "Alex, oh that's amazing!" She knows release is close now. As she cums she cries out "Ohhh, I love you!" Her skin drenched in sweat, her breathing labour and her heart threatening to burst free, Alex knows she has never seen anyone more beautiful.

She moves up to hold her and offer the words again into her ear. "I love you, Jo. You can never know how glad I am that I went to the cinema that night. Meeting you has changed my life. You are so good and kind and beautiful, I've never known anyone like you. You mean everything to me. I love you more than I could have ever imagined."

"Alex, I have never been this happy. No one has ever made me feel this loved. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I want to be with you, always. I love you, Alex Dawson." She kisses the brunette with all her heart. "Now I'd say it's high time I showed you how much." She kisses over the brunette's throat and on to her breasts. Sucking on her nipple, she lets her hand trail down her front. Her fingers find soft curls and she parts her to reveal her clit to the tip of her index finger. Teasing small circles around the area, she taps it gently every so often and Alex's body spasms with each direct hit. "Jo, my God please. I want you to make love to me."

"With pleasure, my love." Jo enters her right to the knuckles of three fingers and sets up an intense rhythm. Her thumb brushes over the brunette's clit with every thrust and she nips at her earlobe as she whispers words of love. Her name falls from the brunette's lips as a hushed declaration of her adoration. Jo is grinding her to completion and all it takes is one more thrust as her hot breath fills Alex's ear with the sweetest command every uttered. "I love you Alex. Cum for me."

"Jo!" Alex is not pushed over the edge, if ever asked, she can say she jumped entirely of her own volition straight over. Her body may come back to her, but her heart and soul will stay with the redhead for the rest of her days.


	19. Chapter 19

Bernie's actual moving day was just a formality really. Over the course of the week, she had emptied out her apartment and unpacked most of her things at Serena's house. So when the Friday came around, there was little to do besides leave her keys back with the landlord. Jason wasn't much one for parties so he had made himself scarce for the weekend, while the two women had some time to themselves before their party the following evening. In had been a difficult week on the ward and they were looking forward to a weekend off to unwind and really enjoy the first few days of cohabitation.

Once she'd had a quick shower and a change of clothes, Bernie had insisted that Serena head straight upstairs for a good, long soak in a warm bubble bath, while Bernie took care of dinner. What Serena didn't know was that dinner was to be a romantic and lavish affair. Bernie had a warm fire blazing in the hearth and had spread a blanket and cushions out on the carpet next to it. There was a bottle of something lovely chilling in an ice bucket and the food was dished up: mostly sliced fruit pieces, strawberries and whipped cream, bruschetta, smoked salmon and other assorted finger food.

She had just finished laying the finishing touches, when Serena made her way downstairs in her robe. The belt was only loosely tied and Bernie could see something lacy and revealing underneath.

"What's all this?" Serena beamed as she saw the end result of all Bernie's efforts. "Oh Bernie, this looks wonderful."

Bernie motioned for her to join her on the blanket and as Serena lent down, the blonde was afforded a closer look at what was not terribly well hidden under her robe.

"Well, I had thought we could have a nice dinner together but now I think I see something else I'd rather have." Her voice was like silk as she nibbled suggestively on the brunette's earlobe. Her hands longed to part the sides of Serena's robe and get a proper look (and feel) at her lover's lingerie.

"Hm, that sounds awfully tempting, but it would be such a shame to see all this lovely food go to waste." With that Serena scooped up some cream and smeared it on to the blonde's cheek with a playful wink.

"You've done it now, Campbell." Bernie retaliates with a flourish as Serena giggles her way through being tickled and having Bernie smother her chest in cream, only to unceremoniously lick it all off again. Leaning back to look at her handiwork, the blonde starts to remove her shirt and gasps when Serena returns the favour on her front. "Serena, I..." Bernie's sentence is lost as the brunette licks a large dollop of cream from her belly button and starts to take off her jeans. Bernie lifts a juicy chunk of melon and holding it between her front teeth, she presses her mouth to Serena's for a messy and delicious kiss.

Tongues stroke and rub over each other as Bernie slides Serena's robe from her shoulders. They fall back on to the cushions and kiss furiously. Bernie seeks out a firm nipple and pinches it gently through the fabric of Serena's bra. Serena grabs Bernie's butt cheeks to pull her closer and kisses the column of her smooth neck. "Welcome home, Bernie." She whispers against the blonde's skin and Bernie feels a lump catch in her throat.

"I love you." She looks down at the woman who, barely more then a year ago she hardly knew, and now she couldn't live without.

"And I love you." Serena strokes her cheek and pulls her to her for more kisses. In a flurry of satin and lace, their underwear is discarded as they cling to one another, skin to skin.

"There's something I've always wanted to try..." Bernie looks at Serena with a mischievous grin. Grabbing the bottle of bubbly, she takes a generous swig and captures Serena's mouth with her own.

Serena struggles not to gasp, as Bernie parts her lips slightly to allow the liquid to flow from her lips into Serena's mouth. The tickling of bubbles, coupled with the sensuous kiss is a heavenly combination. "I wonder how it feels in other places." She takes the bottle from Bernie and takes a smaller mouthful.

Placing her mouth over one of Bernie's nipple, she lets her tongue and the fizz coat the blonde's skin. Bernie jolts at the newness of the sensation. "Here, Serena you have to feel this." Bernie takes another drink and does the same to the brunette.

"It tickles!" Serena squeals in delight as the liquid pops against her breast. And so they continue, lapping up the sweet stickiness from each other's flesh in the glow from the firelight. Their silhouette casting strange shadows into the room and their giggles filling the space.

"I've never known love making to be this much fun." Serena laughs into Bernie's warm skin. Her hands tracing the curves of her waist, it was odd to think that her favourite thing was that dip of skin, that then softly filled out again to make her hip. It was so obvious feminine and she had seen so many before, including her own, without thinking twice about it. She kisses the exact spot that she loves and whispers into it how beautiful this woman is.

Bernie looks at her as if she is the most precious thing in the world and to her she is. "There's one more place we should try this."

As if reading her mind, Serena takes a drink and starts to go down on her, her face in the blonde's groin, while she kneels with her legs draped either side of the blonde's head. Since Serena's core is now level with her face, Bernie thinks it would be rude not to respond in kind. She too swills from the bottle and pulls Serena's cunt down onto her face. They kiss and stroke and caress each other, as the bubbles create a strange tingling against their clits. They gasp and hum into the warm wetness coating their lover and now their own faces.

The pace is leisurely and thoughtful, taking the time to relish in the closeness and the pleasure they can give to the other by teasing and withholding and prolonging. They are truly lost in each other and nothing else exists but the nearness of the other woman and the completion they will bestow. Neither can remember a time that felt this good, both would argue that such a time never existed before this moment.

Bernie is the first to succumb to the exquisite feeling that Serena is creating between her thighs. She starts to shake as she grips Serena's hips to her and begs into the brunette's core for sweet release. Climax tingles in the pit of her stomach and shoots up and down her spine as she feels the tell-tale pulses out for where Serena is pleasing her. Her body and limbs feel heavy and light at the same time, like she could die at any moment but it would be the most glorious death, she would cry out for it, welcome it and wish for it again and again. That feeling that is so intensely scarred on her soul but instantly forgotten, impossible to describe and falls out of reach until the next time. Her whole body tenses in preparation for the most incredible feeling it has ever known and she is spinning out of control but completely still in the brunette's arms, as orgasm crashes over her.

The quaking of the blonde's body pushing her further against Serena's clit and the reverberations start the brunette's own ascent to climax. Her thighs burn and ache and tingle with the familiar precursor to ecstasy. She is tittering at the point where she knows she will cum and begins to rock herself against Bernie's mouth and tongue. There is a strange unexplainable wish to stay in the moment of not quite there. To have the sureness of orgasm send shocks through her body but not release her. Somehow the build up is heady pleasure in itself and there is a tiny part of her knows the fleeting nature of the end goal. Then she remembers that she can return to this place, with this woman and she finally lets go.

They soothe each other through and come back from heaven, to the knowledge that they can see it again, whenever they wish with each other. Chests heaving and bodies hot and sticky, they move to lie side by side on the blanket.

"I've never done that before." Bernie smiled until her face ached and she still couldn't stop. Turning to the brunette with a floppy arm to drape over her middle.

"Don't look at me, you know I haven't." Serena barks out a laugh and they dissolve into kinks, wrapped around each other, with the heat from the fire prickling at their skin.

They sit up after a while and feed each other the rest of dinner, Bernie behind Serena, her legs wrapped around her waist and her arms flung over her shoulders. Serena's back pressed tightly against the blonde's front. Bernie drops kisses to the brunette's shoulder every so often and Serena turns her head to offer lazy kisses. Bernie grabs the corners of the blanket to wrap around them as they cuddle beside the fireplace. They have never been happier.

When weariness and creaky joints force them off the floor, they make their way to bed, moulding together for their first official night under the same roof.


	20. Chapter 20

The day of the house warming starts off perfectly: both couples wake up in each other's arms and memories of the previous night bring huge smiles to their faces.

Alex had taken Jo out for a romantic dinner to celebrate being with her again and that she was on her way to becoming a teacher, despite Lucie's best efforts to sabotage the redhead's dream. They had eaten the most fabulous meal and drank more than their fair share of some exquisite wine. As they stumbled in through Alex's front door, clinging to each other and giggling like fools, the brunette had drawn Jo to her for a hungry kiss. "I love you." She pants into the other woman's mouth and begins slowly undressing her.

"I love you too." Jo was backing Alex up towards the stairs. They made love well into the night and most of the morning, only to fall asleep some time around dawn. Neither had anywhere to be besides the party that evening so they slept and woke to make love again. Then slept some more, until Alex got up to rustle up something to eat. And so the day continued until they had to get ready for their friends' get together.

Bernie and Serena had woken with thoughts of their evening by the fire burned into their consciousness. They got up and ready for the day ahead. A dash to the shops for some last minute party items, and spent the rest of the day cooking and laughing and perhaps using the rest of the whipped cream to have some more fun.

"Bernie, I have something for you. Call it a moving in present." Serena was just finishing laying everything out and a glance at the time told them their friends would be arriving soon. The brunette wanted to do this before everyone arrived, so that they didn't have an audience. She went to the sideboard and pulled out a beautifully wrapped gift and handed it to the blonde.

"What is it?" She searches Serena's face.

"Open it and find out." Serena smiles and kisses her softly.

Eyes fixed on the brunette, Bernie rips off the paper to reveal a silver folding photo frame. On one side are the images of all their children as babies and their names and birthdays engraved under each photo. On the other side is a larger picture of everyone huddled together for the group shot they'd taken at Christmas. Silly paper hats from the crackers on their heads, faces squeezed together and smiling into the camera. On this side the engraving just had one word underneath the image – Love.

Bernie ran her finger over the letters and tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Oh my love, I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have -" Serena felt awful that she'd made her cry. She'd just wanted to do something special for her.

Bernie silences her with a loving kiss. "Happy tears, my love. This is the most precious gift anyone has ever given me. Because of you I have Charlotte back and a lifetime of you, of us, to look forward to. I love you Serena Campbell."

"I love you Bernie. With all my heart." Serena kisses her again. "Where would you like to put it?"

"I think...right...here." She sets the frame on the hall table by the door. This way it can be the first thing I see coming home." Bernie smiled at the happy faces in the frame and hoped there would be many occasions for more similar photos.

"Time to get ready. Everyone will be here soon." Serena makes her way upstairs with Bernie close behind.

"Serena?" Bernie tugs her to her once they're on the upstairs landing. "I don't suppose, in the interest of saving time obviously, I could tempt you with the idea of sharing a shower." She kisses along Serena's throat and starts to take off her top.

"Well, when you put it that way..." Serena grabs Bernie by the hand and they all but run into the en suite.

Despite Bernie's stellar argument to the contrary, they are now running late and are barely ready when the doorbell rings and their first guests arrive.

They had invited the whole AAU family and a fair few of the rest of their friends from the hospital, most would be along later when their shifts finished. Cam, Ellie and Charlotte had come along, on the proviso that they could leave early-ish to hang out with some friends in town, taking Morven with them. Serena had an inkling that Cameron had a soft spot for the young doctor and he was a sweet boy.

Jo and Alex turn up when things are getting going and have brought a lovely new wine rack, complete with Shiraz to stock it with as a gift.

"Come in, come in." Serena embraces them both warmly and thanks them profusely for the presents. "Bernie, sweetheart. Alex and Jo are here." She calls to the blonde who is deep in conversation with Fletch about poker of all things.

"Hey you two. Glad you could make it." Bernie smiles and accepts the rather large and expensive looking bottle of whiskey they brought for her. "Thank you. Fancy a glass Al? Can I get you a drink Jo?" They all follow her to the kitchen to get drinks.

The two couples chat for the longest time over their drinks, enjoying the company and eating their way through all the delicious food the pair had put on for their family and friends. Then Bernie and Serena have to tear themselves away to tend to the other guests.

"I'm so glad those two have sorted everything out." Serena glances back as Alex and Jo are in close conversation, heads together, laughing and kissing tenderly, oblivious to anyone watching them. Lost in their own happy bubble.

"They're good together. I've never seen Alex so happy." Bernie looks to where Serena is watching the pair and smiles at the obvious love between them. After a little while of mingling, Bernie looks over to the opposite side of the room where Serena is chatting to friends. The blonde moves to change the song playing, finding the one she wants and makes her way to her girlfriend. "Dance with me." She says lovingly to her partner and holds out her hand.

Serena accepts easily and they wrap themselves around each other to sway along to the slow song. All the other couples, including Jo and Alex, join them and Serena smiles at the thought of their home being filled with so much love.

"Sorry, darling. I saw you from across the room and I just wanted to be close to you." Bernie confesses as she holds Serena to her.

"This is perfect Bernie. I'm so happy." Serena smiles and kisses her.

Alex is snuggled up to Jo as they dance not far from where their friends are and she leans down to whisper in her ear. "I have a surprise for you. I was waiting for the right time to give it to you and tonight seems perfect."

"What is it?" Jo searches her face for clues.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise." She grins and then kisses the redhead. "Come with me, somewhere a bit quieter." Alex takes her by the hand and leads them away from the crowd.

Suddenly the doorbell rings and breaks everyone apart.

"I'll get it." Serena reluctantly pulls away from the blonde and makes her way to the door. "Lucie? What are you doing here?!"

"I'm reliably informed that Jo is here. I want to see her." She tries to come inside but Bernie appears behind Serena to block her path.

"You're not welcome here. Get out." The blonde doesn't budge as the woman tries to get past her.

"Jo! Jo! I know you're in here!" She screams and everything inside goes silent. "Jo? God dammit where are you?!"

The redhead hears the ruckus and comes to the door, Alex close behind her. "Lucie for God's sake, what are you doing here?!" Jo is seething. "You're ruining my friends' party, how dare you show up here and embarrass them."

"I just wanted to see you Jo-Jo." Lucie stumbles and sways in the hallway.

"You're drunk." Jo can't believe the gall of the woman.

"I think perhaps you should leave, Lucie." Alex speaks up.

"Oh hello again, Dr Dawson wasn't it? Sleep with all your patients after you attack their girlfriends, do you?" Lucie's voice is full of venom.

"Lucie, stop this. You and I are not together, Alex didn't touch you and you know it. Who I'm with has nothing to do with you." Jo can feel her face burn with humiliated rage.

"So tell me, Alex..." Lucie spits the woman's name out like it is poison in her mouth "...how's the love life? Get her to put out, can you?"

"That's none of your business." Alex moves to take Jo back inside away from this vile person.

"No come on, I'm all ears. Is she as frigid for you as she was for me? Couldn't get a good fuck out of her, cold fish." Lucie is in full swing now.

"That is enough!" Serena screams at the woman who is belittling her friend like this.

Bernie gently tries to get the woman out of their home as Alex rounds on her for her insensitive outburst.

"Oh here she comes, ready to beat me up again." Lucie jeers from the street.

"Alex don't please! She's not worth it." Jo pleads with the brunette.

They are all out on the doorstep now as Serena grabs her phone to ring the police.

"Oh now Jo, surely you must know she'll get sick of your holding out on her and just screw someone else. You and I both know it's only a matter of time, you're the common denominator here Jo. You weren't enough for me and you won't be enough for her. Assuming she's not already bonking someone else. When she could have a real woman, why would she settle for you?" Lucie was really going for it now.

Jo was in tears and she pushed past them to leave.

"Jo, wait. Don't listen to her." Alex isn't quick enough to grab hold of her but Lucie is.

"Let me go!" She sobs as Alex comes to break them apart.

But Lucie does let her go then and the force sends Jo stumbling backwards into the road and straight in front of a car.

"Jo!" Alex runs to push her out of the way, she gets there in time to send the redhead tumbling to safety but she is struck full on by the car instead, sending her up and over the roof to fall back on to the road on the other side.

"ALEX! OH MY GOD ALEX! Someone help her please!" Jo crawls over to Alex's lifeless body and she can't see through her tears.

"Don't move her Jo!" Bernie shouts as she races to help her friend.

Serena calls for the ambulance, explaining the brunette's vitals and injuries as best as Bernie can give them.

Alex isn't breathing and her heart has stopped, so Bernie has to start CPR. "Come on, Alex stay with us." Bernie works on Alex as Jo sobs beside her. "Serena I need something to stop the bleeding, she's losing blood from somewhere. I can't see the wound." Bernie is kneeling in her friend's blood but where is it coming from?

Serena takes off her own jumper and runs to see if she can stem the blood loss. "It's here, I see it." She presses the material into the injury to try to stop Alex from losing any more blood. "The ambulance is on its way, ETA 4 minutes. Come on Alex, hold on."

Bernie and Serena switch when Bernie gets tired and they keep up the CPR until the ambulance arrives. Jo is allowed to ride with her and holds her hand the whole way, whispering words of comfort and love.

Bernie charges at Lucie once her friend is inside the ambulance. "If she dies because of you! I will fucking end you, you stupid bitch!" she grabs Lucie by the scruff of her collar. "You'd better pray she pulls through." Then Bernie's adrenaline leaves her and she sinks to her blood soaked knees on the pavement, sobbing for her friend's life.

Serena sinks down beside her, clinging to her neck and rocking her gently as she cries.


	21. Chapter 21

The ride in the ambulance had been interminable. Jo could hear all the shouting and machines as the paramedics worked on Alex. Something about no rhythm and then they had used a defibrillator to shock her heart. Jo had jumped every time the jolts had riddled the brunette's body, lifting her off the trolley to slam back down again. Finally her heart had started beating again and Jo had never heard an incessant bleep sound so beautiful. She still wasn't breathing, so they had tubed her while one of the paramedics squeezed air into her lungs.

When they got to the hospital she was rushed straight to theatre to repair the damages and stop the bleeding. Jo had waited for her in the relatives room praying that someone would come and update her that Alex would make it. She was sitting there with her head in her hands between her knees when Serena and Bernie had found her. Someone who hadn't been drinking at the party was able to drive them straight to the hospital. They immediately put their considerable clout into finding out what was going on.

Alex had come through the surgery fine, but she still wasn't breathing by herself and the scans showed a nasty head injury that would need to be closely monitored. Once she was stronger, they would operate again if they needed to. Alex was given a side room in ICU and was on some sort of ventilator, essentially she would be in a medically endured coma until her body healed itself or she woke up by starting to breathe on her own.

Jo never moved from the chair at Alex's bedside. Serena and Bernie visited as often as they could and brought her food, clothes and anything else they thought she might need from home. They offered to sit with her while Jo went home or even to an on call room to get some rest, but she wouldn't leave Alex. She slept sporadically in the chair, hand clasped in the brunette's as the machines and wires kept her alive. Eventually they convinced her to take a quick shower and change her clothes but Serena had had to go with her, stripping her and forcing her under the spray with her, as she gently washed her hair and soothed her with words of support. Jo stood rigid under the water, staring into space and not registering the other woman's presence as she put her into the fresh clothes.

"Is she going to die?" Jo looked straight into Serena's eyes, seeing her for the first time.

"It's difficult to say, Jo." Serena knew it was bad.

"Tell me!" Jo screamed, she needed to know.

"It's very possible. She lost a lot of blood. Her head injury is very serious and the machines are doing all the work. If she's doesn't start to breathe on her own soon..." Serena struggled not to breakdown, she was incredibly fond of Alex, she knew how much she meant to Bernie, how much Jo loved her. They'd become close friends.

"I can't lose her, Serena. I just can't." Jo's knees buckled and Serena caught her, cradling her like a child as she sobbed uncontrollably.

"She's in good hands, if ever there was a chance for her, she's in the best place." Serena wasn't sure how much she believed her own words, but she wanted to comfort the redhead and she held out hope for Alex. "She's still reasonably young, she's in good shape, no underlying health complications and she has something to live for. You."

Jo smiled weakly at her. "It's because of me that she's lying there. If she'd never met me -"

"Don't you ever think that. She would say that you are worth it all. I know she would never wish not to have met you. I see the way you are with each other and that's what will bring her back to you. You love her and she loves you just as much." Serena was sure.

"She saved my life." Jo was gasping in shallow breaths.

"Exactly. If that's not love, I don't know what is. And she didn't save you so that you could freeze to death on the floor of the locker room. Let's get you back to the woman you love." Serena gently coaxed her to stand and they made their way back to Alex.

Bernie was sitting with her, regaling her with stories of their days in service and updating her on how everyone was asking for her. "Sorry, I just always thought they could hear what we say. Even though she's still unconscious, I know she can hear me." Bernie was missing her friend terribly and the guilt was eating at her almost as much as Jo.

"I bet you wish you'd never introduced us now." Jo broke down again.

"What? No, no. Jo listen to me..." Bernie stood to hold her face to look at her "...she loves you, I know she's never been happier. You did that. Never regret it."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jo was inconsolable. "She should have let the car hit me."

"Hey, this was not your fault. Don't belittle what she did by believing you weren't worth saving. She would say she'd do the same again if she could." Bernie wouldn't have Jo blame herself, anymore than she'd let her friend's sacrifice be meaningless.

"You really think that she can hear us?" Jo found some relief at Bernie's words.

"I do." Bernie was firm.

"Alex, it's me. Jo. Bernie says you can hear me and if you can, I need you to wake up now. I want to see those beautiful eyes of your again."

Bernie and Serena stepped outside to give them some time alone.

"I want to see your eyes looking at me like I'm the most amazing thing you've ever seen. Because that's how I feel when you look at me. I want to feel you hold my hand again." Jo squeezed her hand. "I want to feel your arms around me, it's the safest place I know. I want you to breathe for me again. So I can feel it warm and soft against my ear when you whisper how much you love me. I want so many things for us, Alex. We can't have any of them if you don't wake up soon. Please Alex, I'm begging you not to leave me. I can't live without you. I love you so much, Alex. Do you hear me? I love you."

"Sorry to interrupt." A knock came to the doorframe of Alex's room. "We have all her things back from the police and we thought you might like them back." Raf brought the box in and left it with them. "I'm sorry for what's happened but her last tests were good considering. There's a good chance she might wake up soon." With that he gave them some space and headed back to the ward.

"You hear that Jo?" Bernie rubbed her arm reassuringly.

Jo ran her fingers over the lip of the box and looked at the sum total of her girlfriend's life in the moments before the accident: her phone and the watch Jo had given her were destroyed but her wallet was salvageable. Most of her clothes were cut from her during the ambulance ride and at the hospital to gain access for treatment but she hadn't been wearing her coat at the time. Jo had handed it in when the police had arrived to question her, saying that they needed all her belongings. She lifted it out of the box and put it on, wanting to be closer to Alex somehow. It smelled like the brunette and her familiar scent filled Jo with a longing to hold her again. As she hugged the garment closer to her body, she felt something dig into her side in the inside pocket. Reaching in she pulled out a small velvet box. She glanced to the two women standing by the door surveying the scene.

Bernie and Serena held their breaths as they were certain that there was only one thing that could be in the box and only one reason why Alex could have been carrying it.

Jo opened the box with trembling fingers and revealing a platinum engagement ring with a single round diamond set in the centre.

Alex had intended to propose to Jo.


	22. Chapter 22

Jo froze with shock. Alex had an engagement ring in her pocket. She had said she had a surprise for Jo and had been leading her somewhere quieter, after grabbing her coat, at Serena and Bernie's party. That's when Lucie had shown up and here they were. Jo snapped the box closed and put it back into the pocket she'd found it in.

"Jo?" Serena eased her way closer to the redhead.

"She was going to propose." Jo looks to her friend with tears streaming down her face. "She'd told me she wanted to go somewhere quiet because she had a surprise for me. Oh God." Jo's hand flew to her mouth as the pain wracked her heart and the sobs shook her soul. "I think I'm going to be sick." She ran from the room and everything span and she couldn't breathe, clutching her chest she searched wildly for something, anything that could help her.

Serena caught up to her and wrapped her tightly in her arms. "Shhh, it's ok. Jo, breathe for me. You need to breathe, can you do that Jo?"

The redhead was gripping Serena's shirt so tightly in fistful and shaking against her as grief and panic took over. The cries leaving her throat sounded like some wounded animal as she called out for the woman she loved and felt the loss of how close they'd come to true happiness before they'd ended up where they were. She was hoarse and raw from all the crying, she had no more left and still she couldn't stop. The weight of the ring box digging into her, taunting her, as she wore Alex's coat and soaked it in tears.

Serena just held her and tried to get her to regulate her breathing. She felt a sorrow she couldn't articulate for this woman and her lover, they had been on the cusp of everything and now what would become of them? Judging by Bernie's face, no one had known about Alex's plan to propose. It was spontaneous and romantic and beautiful. If only it had come to be.

The blonde just stood and watched Serena comfort Jo. She was no use in these situations and she knew that her awkwardness would just make things worse. Her heart ached for Jo and Alex, they could have been anywhere else now celebrating their engagement. Alex hadn't mentioned her intentions, but a part of Bernie felt proud that her friend would have done it during their party. Surrounded by friends who would have been ecstatic for them, none more than Bernie herself. Alex was her best friend and Jo was wonderful, so good for her friend. They should have been planning the rest of their future together and now this. The unfairness, the injustice burned in the blonde's gut. Come on Alex, you have to wake up now! Come back to her...

"Bernie, could you maybe go get Jo some water?" Serena was giving her something to do, to feel useful as much as anything. Bernie loved her for it.

"I'll be right back." She headed to Pulses to grab them all some bottled water and stepped outside for a quick breath of fresh air. The irony of those precious breaths was not lost on her. She hoped her friend would find the strength to do the same soon. She knew Alex, knew her stubbornness and now she had Jo to live for she'd find a way.

Stepping back on to ICU she saw the commotion in Alex's room, dropping the water and running towards the noise, she felt her heart rise into her throat, choking her. "What happened?" she demanded breathlessly.

"Her heart stopped again but we've got her back." Raf explained. "Her body isn't handling all the stress as well as we'd like."

"But you said her tests were good!" Jo was desolate.

"Jo, sweetheart. Why don't we wait outside? Let them work, ok?" Serena turned her and led her into the corridor.

"How bad Raf?" Bernie braced herself.

"I'd prepare for the worst. If her heart stops again I don't think we'll get her back again." Raf gripped Bernie's shoulder to steady her against the news. "You want me to talk to Jo?"

"No, Serena and I will speak to her. If that's ok?" Bernie thought she'd rather hear it from them. "Do me a favour and send Serena in. Alone. So I can let her know and we can figure out how to tell her."

"Sure. I'm so sorry, Bernie." Raf left and sat with Jo while Serena came in.

Bernie shook her head and Serena had to sit down.

"How long?" Serena searched Bernie's face for any hope.

"If they lose heart rhythm again, they won't be able to save her." Bernie let a lone tear drop for her friend, knowing they needed to be strong for Jo.

Serena said what she was thinking. "How do we tell Jo?" Serena cast a concerned look to the redhead.

"I don't know, Serena. I just don't know." Bernie rubbed a tired hand down her face.

"Is there nothing can be done?" Serena looked to her hopefully.

"The best that could happen is she fights through this and starts to breathe unaided." Bernie wasn't sure how likely that was.

"What about the brain injury?" Serena knew she would never wake up without the swelling going down.

"Raf didn't say, hold on I'll go get him. Raf, could we borrow you for a sec?" Jo looked panicked to be left alone. "We'll be with you in two minutes Jo. Everything's fine." Bernie attempted a smile but wasn't sure how convincing it was.

Serena put her question to the Scot.

"Actually the swelling seems to be going down rather well. We would have expected her to start breathing and wake up to be honest. But we can't find anything else wrong, so maybe her body is just too traumatised. She's giving up." Raf ducked his head, sorry he didn't have a more satisfying explanation.

"No! She would never just give up." Bernie felt her blood boil.

Jo came into the room at the sound of Bernie's raised voice. "What's going on?" she knew they were hiding something.

"Jo come in and sit down, we need to talk to you." Serena guided the redhead to the chair she'd just vacated.

"Oh God, no. What's wrong?" Jo looked devastated, she sensed it wasn't good news.

Serena perched on the arm of the chair holding one of Jo's hands in both of hers while Bernie crouched down in front of the chair to grab her other hand.

"The doctors can't find any medical reason why Alex isn't waking up. They think she's just sustained too many injuries and her body can't cope with the stress even though it's healed quite well." Bernie tried to explain.

"What does that mean?" Jo looked confused.

"There's very little else they can do, Jo. Alex's heart won't restart if it stops again. Our only hope is that she fights this and wakes up." Serena was fighting to stay calm as she watched the pain wash over her friend.

"But you think she can do it, don't you?" Her eyes flicked between the two women, looking for hope.

"Honestly, we don't know." Bernie was heartbroken.

"No. No. I know. She will wake up." Jo moves over to the woman in the bed and gentle strokes her forehead, bending down to kiss it lightly. "Alex, honey. It's time to wake up. Please, I need you." Jo's tears fall softly on to Alex's cheeks as she leans in to her. "I love her." She turns to Bernie and Serena with such a desperation in her eyes that it crushes all their hearts.

"Is there anyone else we need to call? Parent, siblings?" Raf is loathe to disrupt them but needed to be practical.

Just then Alex's hand twitches slightly and her eyelids flicker as if she's trying to wake up.

"Alex? Can you hear me Alex?" Raf brings out his penlight to check her responses. "Pupils equal and reactive."

"What does that mean?" Jo looked straight into Serena's eyes for an answer.

"I think we should try bringing her round. Maybe the drugs are keeping her too sedated." Bernie hopes she's right.

"If you're wrong -" Raf tries to be the voice of reason.

"If I'm wrong, we're losing her anyway." Is Bernie's clipped response.

"What do you want us to do, Jo?" Serena seemed to be the only who remembered she was there, that she was technically next of kin now. She should have a say in what happened to the woman she loved.

"Yes, of course. Sorry Jo I got carried away with myself there. Why don't you take a minute to think about it and then we'll take it from there?" Bernie came over to lead Serena outside, inclining her head for Raf to follow and give the redhead some space.

"What should I do Alex?" She sits by the bed holding the brunette's hand. "I can't lose you. You are everything to me. Please."

It's then that Jo feels Alex squeeze her hand and she has her answer.

She finds the three of them waiting in the corridor as she peeks her head round the door looking for them.

"Let's try bringing her round." Jo asserts with more confidence than she feels.


	23. Chapter 23

“Ok, we can give her something to counteract the drugs keeping her sedated. She needs to start breathing on her own once we take her off the machine or she’ll lose oxygen. The longer she goes without, her brain will suffer irreparable damage. She may stay unconscious for a while but she needs to be breathing. Are you sure you want us to try this?” Raf looks at the three women before settling on Jo.

“If we don’t try?” Jo wanted the worst case scenario to prepare herself.

“She can stay on the machine for as long as you consent but it’s not a permanent solution.” Raf was trying to be diplomatic.

“And if this doesn’t work?” Jo steeled herself for his reply.

“If she doesn’t start breathing on her own, brain damage becomes more likely every minute without oxygen, her heart will fail again if she isn’t breathing. We can hook her back up to the machine before any of that happens, but every failed attempt leaves her weaken for the next one.” Raf was kind but she needed to know.

“So this is it? If she doesn’t wake up now, she won’t...” Jo’s words trailed off as the truth hits her in the chest.

“We could wait and try again in another day or so but her heart might stop again in the meantime and sedation means she can’t fight it so easily. She’s been here a couple of days already and all her readings are as good as they’ll get on the machine. If it wasn’t going to happen now, it’s unlikely it would, no matter how long we wait.” Raf had come round to Bernie’s way of thinking, it was probably now or never.

Bernie and Serena step either side of Jo and hold onto her as she makes the most difficult decision facing any loved one. They’ve delivered similar speeches to countless families in their time but this one is personal.

Gripping on to the two women for support, Jo shudders out a sharp breath. “Ok, let’s do it.”

Raf nods and slowly pushes down on the syringe to get the drugs into Alex’s IV. “It going to take a few minutes to start working.”

All four watch Alex intently once all the drugs are in, searching for any signs that she’s coming back. They hold their breaths, expectantly waiting for Alex to take her first breath.

“All vitals staying stable, good breath sounds on each side. She’s fighting it. We might want to extubate her soon.” Raf smiles as the three women breakdown.

Suddenly Alex flails in the bed as her eyes snap open, she lifts her hand to try to tug on the tube down her throat.

“Alex, no. Listen to me Alex. We’ll take that out for you in a sec, ok? I want you to blink once if you can understand me, Alex. It’s Raf and you’re in ICU, do you hear me Alex?” Raf holds Alex’s hand away from the tube.

The brunette blinks her understanding and starts to calm down.

“Do you remember what happened Alex?” Raf continues as he works to take out the tube. “No Alex don’t shake your head, try to stay still. Stick to blinks, alright?”

Alex blinks again.

“Good Alex, that’s it. Now, you were struck by a car, no one else is hurt, ok? Your left wrist is broken and you have a tib-fib fracture on that side too from the impact. They’re clean breaks and should heal nicely in the casts. You had a nasty gash on your lower abdomen from the force of the front grill striking you but they repaired everything in theatre. You hit you head pretty badly on the pavement when you landed but the swelling seems to have subsided. We’ll keep an eye on that for you. You shouldn’t be in too much pain but I’ll get you some morphine now you’re out of danger from the head wound. I’m going to take this out now, Alex I need you not to try to talk, you’re throat will be very raw for a while. You’ve been out for a couple of days but we’re glad to see you back with us. Do you understand all that?” Raf smiles down at her.

More blinking.

“Ok Alex you know the drill. Big coughs for me and we’ll get this tube out. No talking.” Raf takes out the tube as Alex struggles against the gagging.

The three women have stared speechless and rooted to the spot throughout but they step slowly up to the bed.

“Jo.” Alex lets out a croaky word.

“What did we say about talking, Alex?” Raf scolds but he’s not really cross. “Your right side was uninjured mostly, are you right handed?”

Alex nods gently trying to resist the urge to try to talk.

“Do you feel up to writing? I could get you a pad and something to write with.” Raf offers kindly.

Again the brunette nobs.

Jo holds on to her hands wordlessly until Raf comes back in. He props the pad as securely as he can under her right hand and helps her to grip the pen. “You got it?”

Alex tries to write a shaky “yes.”

“Great, Alex. I’ll leave you to it. Buzz if you need anything.” With that he places the call button closer to Alex’s right side and leaves them to it.

Jo steps up to the brunette and wants to fling herself at her but she’s too frightened of hurting her.

Alex writes something and then holds it up to her. “Hello you.”

“Hi yourself.” Jo replies to the now familiar greeting with the words she’d used on their fourth date. She tentatively bends down to kiss her and Serena and Bernie have a tear in their eye at the reunion. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.” Jo cries as she rests her forehead gently against Alex’s. 

Alex moves to write a reply and flips the pad so Jo can read it. “Worth it. Saved you. x” She reaches up to stroke Jo’s gorgeous hair and pulls her in for another kiss.

“Bernie and Serena are here too. They were fantastic, working on you until the ambulance came.” She moved away from Alex’s face so she could see their friends.

“Thank you.” Alex writes on the pad and holds it up to the two surgeons.

“Welcome back, Alex.” Serena squeezes her tenderly and kisses her cheek.

“Hey, Al. Good to see you again.” Bernie grips her hand tightly and drops a quick kiss to her hair.

Alex offers them a warm smile and then writes another note. “Jo?”

“Yes, my love.” Jo caresses her girlfriend’s cheek.

Alex writes something longer on the pad this time and then spins it around again. “Can I have my coat back please?”

The other three women laugh at that. 

“Yes of course, I forgot I was wearing it.” Jo moves to take it off but Alex grabs her hand to stop her, shaking her head.

She scribbles a message on the paper and holds it out to Bernie and Serena. “Give us a minute??”

Serena and Bernie nod and blow them kisses before heading out to get them all something to eat and drink.

When they’ve gone, Alex looks to Jo before writing. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Jo places butterfly kisses all over Alex’s face.

“Always.” Alex adds to the end of her message.

“Always.” Jo nods in confirmation.

Alex jots down something else. “Top left inside pocket.” She indicates the coat that Jo’s still wearing.

Jo wasn’t sure if she should tell Alex that she’d already found the ring but she didn’t want to lie to her. “Alex, I know about the ring.” She hopes the brunette won’t be too disappointed.

Alex holds the message up again, gesturing to the coat.  
Jo takes the box out of the pocket, as requested.

“Not as planned.” Alex scribbles down and looks around apologetically at their current situation. She opens the ring box and moves to write something else down.

“Alex, wait.” Jo puts a hand over the page to stop her.

Alex has tears forming in her eyes as she thinks Jo is turning her down.

“Whenever, wherever you ask me, I will always say yes.” She sees relief wash over the brunette. “But a selfish part of me wants to be able to hear you ask the question. Would it be ok if we wait until you can do that?” Jo kisses her softly. “You choose the moment, ok? I promise I’ll say yes.”

Alex kisses her with all her heart before writing. “Deal.”


	24. Chapter 24

8 weeks later

Jo had taken Alex home to look after her, she wasn't letting her out of her sight. They had shared a quiet Valentine's Day of takeaway pizza and DVDs. Jo had replaced Alex's watch as a gift and Alex had arranged for a huge bouquet of flowers to be delivered and had sent Bernie on a covert mission to buy Jo's favourite perfume. Things were a lot more difficult with basically your whole left side in plaster and when your girlfriend barely left your side. Jo had pulled out the sofa bed for them to sleep in until Alex could walk again.

After a few weeks she was able to hobble about, if Jo was there to support her, but she was stir crazy in the house, not able to do much for herself. Jo arranged to work mostly from home while Alex recovered and agreed that she would still go to class, so long as Bernie or Serena was free to sit with her and that someone would call her the second Alex needed her. Eventually she would even go on nights when all Alex had to do was sit watching TV until she came home and occasionally shuffle to the downstairs bathroom or to microwave the dinner Jo had left for her in the fridge.

When the time came that everything had healed nicely, the casts came off and a couple of sessions of physio had Alex pretty much back into shape again. Jo had gone back to work and Alex was just finishing making them dinner one evening, when she appeared home.

"Honey, I'm home." She cooed, smiling as she smelled Alex's offerings from the kitchen.

"Hi, how was your day?" Alex wrapped her in a tight hug and kissed her soundly.

"All the better for seeing you up and about, and well on the mend it seems." Jo beamed. "What smells so good?"

"I made us a lasagne with some fresh salad." Alex's cooking skills had come on leaps and bounds, there was little else to do all day. "Dinner is served." She set their plates out with a flourish. Pouring some wine and pulling Jo's chair out for her to sit down.

"This is wonderful." Jo said around a forkful of pasta.

"I was thinking of going back to work next week." Alex grinned.

"That's great. I'm sure you'll be glad to get back to it." Jo knew she was bored senseless in the house.

"I'll need to head home too, all my stuff is still there." Alex chances a look at the redhead. She didn't want to go.

"Ok. If you need to." Jo was disappointed, she loved living with Alex. "I'll just clear these away and do the dishes." Jo puts the plates and things into the sink, turns on the tap and fights not to cry at the thought of not having Alex with her everyday. She hangs her head in despair and doesn't hear the brunette come up behind her.

Alex slips her arms around Jo's waist and kisses her nape, Alex always loved the soft skin against her lips. "You could come with me. Or I could move my things here. Or we could sell our places and buy something together. I don't care, as long as I get to wake up beside you every day."

Jo spins to face her. "Yes."

"Which one?" Alex chuckles.

"I don't care as long as you're there." Jo kisses her.

Alex reached behind her to turn the water off. "You know, the physio said I should try to do as much exercise as possible? Something about building up my muscle tone and stamina again..." She kisses along her jaw and starts to unbutton her work blouse.

"Who are we to argue with sound medical advice?" Jo takes her hand and they head for the bedroom.

They hadn't really made love since Alex had come home, there had been kissing and fondling and touching, but they both missed the intimacy of truly being with each other.

"You have no idea how must I want you." Alex has Jo pinned against the door and is practically tearing the clothes from her body. "I need to fuck you."

"Yes. Oh God yes." Jo pulls Alex's top off over her head and is tugging her trousers off, as the brunette finishes undressing her. She grabs behind Jo's thighs to wrap them around her waist and enters her as she pushes them up against the door. She grinds further and further into her, as the redhead's back is flush against her bedroom door. Alex kisses her hard and thrusts as if her life depended on it. "Fuck, Alex I'm not going to last long."

"Who said I was only going to have you once?" Alex smirks into the next kiss and her words push Jo to climax.

"Shit! I'm coming, Alex." She clamps down on the brunette's fingers, as she shudders in her arms.

"Yes you are, that's it Jo, come on." Alex keeps up her relentless pace as she watches the redhead fall apart in front of her eyes. "Jesus, you look glorious when you cum."

Jo's body is still tingling deliciously when Alex's fingers slow inside her and she starts to come back down to Earth. "Alex." She rests herself against the brunette as she begins to recover. "I've missed having you inside me, I love you." She puts her hands either side of Alex's face and kisses her fervently. The emotions of the last few months and what they've just done overwhelm her and she sobs into Alex's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I just..." She can't express all that she feels, as Alex strokes the hair from her eyes and offers hushed words of love, Jo's legs stay around her waist and Alex holds her up against the door.

"It's ok. I'm here, I'll always be here. I've got you." Alex has tears in her own eyes as she sees Jo's distress. She shucks her shoes and trousers off so that she won't trip as she carefully lifts Jo to the bed. Lying them down side by side, she holds the redhead to her and kisses her hair.

Jo shakes with silent sobs as she clings to the woman she loves. "I'm just so in love with you and when I think of how I almost lost you and then that sex was unbelievable." She laughs at her own honesty. "Christ, it was fantastic."

"Why thank you." Alex teases her as she cuddles her closer. "I know my accident was tough for you and I can't tell you how much you've done for me since I've been recovering. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I can't imagine what that was like. I just knew when I saw the car, I couldn't let it hit you. I just had to get to you."

"You saved me." Jo didn't even just mean that night.

"I'd do it again if I had to, I love you Jo. I will always protect you." Alex would do anything for her.

"And I will always be here for you too." Jo had settled in the warmth of Alex's arms. She snakes a hand down the brunette's front to slide inside her panties, feeling her heat against her fingertips. "You are so wet."

"For you." Alex gasps as her head falls back at the touch.

"I take your recuperation very seriously and I feel it is my duty to ensure you get this exercise your physio recommended." Jo quickly removes her bra and underwear so that they're both naked. "Get on your knees."

Alex happily complies and Jo slips underneath her, so that she can have the brunette sit on her face. Quickly looking up at the brunette with a wicked smile, she pulls Alex down on to her mouth. Teasing her with the very tip of her tongue, she strokes over her lips before working her way inward.

"Fuck me!" Alex falls forward at the sensation the redhead is creating at her centre.

Jo makes a "well, that was rather the idea" hum against her, as her hands smooth over Alex's ass and hips. Flicking her tongue over and over against Alex's clit, before she traces slowly around it in delicious torture, as Alex waits for the moment she touches it again and releases her.

Alex grinds down unthinkingly into her mouth, searching for what she needs to drive her to climax. "Please." She sounds desperate as she begs for Jo to finish her off. Every muscle in her body burns deliciously with what the redhead is about to do to her. If she would only just fucking touch her clit again. Alex lets out a frustrated cry and leans up slightly to look at Jo pleadingly.

Jo suddenly does exactly what she needs and Alex pumps her hips to ride Jo's face as she cums. "Jo, oh God Jo!" Alex will swear that she has never come this fucking hard. Ever.

As she comes down again, she moves off Jo to let her up and flops onto her back on the bed. The redhead wipes Alex from her face and shuffles to lie beside her.

"That was..." Alex drapes an arm round her lover's middle, kissing her shoulder.

"I know, I was there." Jo giggles as Alex's tickles her. "No. Alex. Please. Don't."

They roll over the covers, kissing as they bask in the glow of being together, able to do this again.

Alex longs to ask her then, but the ring is nowhere near by and perhaps the setting could be more romantic. She just wants this woman to be her wife as soon as possible. She knows she has to come up with something amazing, perfect. But she settles for whispering "I love you."

Jo sees the conflict cross Alex's features and wonders if she's thinking about proposing. She had no idea how long Alex might wait before asking, hoping that Alex knew that no matter how she did it, it would be special. "I love you too. Now, what were you saying earlier about having me more than once?" She quirks her eyebrow in invitation.


	25. Chapter 25

By mid-April Bernie had been living with Serena and Jason for a few months and on the whole things couldn't be better. They had the odd quarrel over normal couple things - if Bernie forgot to use a coaster and left rings on the coffee table or whose turn it was to take the bins out - but by and large they were getting on famously.

They tried to spend at least one or two of Jason's evenings away to Alan's going out and enjoying themselves if they weren't working during the month. This time, because Alex was mobile and well again, they opted for another double date with her and Jo. It would be nice to spend some time with them, as they'd mostly been cooped up at Jo's while Alex was housebound. Secretly Serena wanted to see if Jo was sporting the engagement ring yet, knowing that Alex had agreed to propose properly once she had healed. Bernie wanted to see if there was any truth behind the half confession that they were moving in together, Alex had blurted something out when she'd been not so subtly asking if it might be worthwhile putting her house back on the market. Hypothetically of course. Both women wondered if perhaps it was time to bring their matchmaking business out of retirement...

They had chosen to meet the pair for dinner and drinks at a local steakhouse, they might go on elsewhere for a few more rounds if they felt like it. Serena and Bernie were the first to arrive, with the other couple not far behind. Warm hugs and kissed cheeks ensued, as they took their seats at the table and ordered some drinks. Serena swiftly noticed the distinct lack of bling on the redhead's left hand. Alex hadn't popped the question yet then. It wasn't that she and Bernie were trying to be meddling old biddies but they wanted only good things for their friends and they had all been knocked for six by Alex's accident. They knew the fleeting nature of life as well as any, they saw death everyday at work.

"Good to see you looking so well Alex, fully recovered I hope?" Serena offered her a warm smile.

"Yes thanks Serena, all clear and back to work." Alex loved this pair like family and she and Jo always knew they had their backs. It was great to be well enough to spend time with them under happier circumstances.

"That's great, Al. Not driving the missus crazy, lying under her feet all day in the house." Bernie offered Jo a cheeky wink before she realised what she'd said.

The younger couple didn't seem to notice as Jo just laughed. "She's lucky I didn't throttle her at times." Jo squeezes Alex's arm affectionately and gives her a quick kiss. Really, looking after Alex had been no trouble at all, the brunette had gotten frustrated at times that her independence was diminished, but they'd gotten along swimmingly living together.

A waiter took their food order and they fell back into easy conversation as they waited.

"So how's things at casa Campbell-Wolfe-Haynes?" Alex quipped. "Not killed each other yet, that's a good sign." She chuckled at the thought of her rather undomesticated best friend being so content.

"Things are perfect, totally perfect." Serena beamed at the blonde as they held hands on the table.

"I concur, my love." Bernie pecked Serena softly on the cheek.

"Maybe we should leave the lovebirds to it, Jo?" Alex pretended to get up to leave as Jo tugged her back into her seat and they all chucked.

"Joking aside..." Jo threw Alex a fake stern look "...we're happy that things are going so well for you both. You make living together look like fun." She and Alex shared a look then which did not go undetected.

"Did you see that, Bernie? I think there's something going on here." Serena swung her glass between the couple with a concentrated look on her face before she took a mouthful of Shiraz.

"I think you're right, Serena. What's going on you two?" Bernie lent back casually in her chair opening up the floor to the other women.

"Well, we um we've been thinking that..." Jo looked to Alex to help her out.

"We've both gotten rather um used to... that is to say, we have enjoyed me staying at Jo's while I was getting better. And now that the time has come for me to go home, I don't want to." Alex blushed.

"I love having you with me." Jo kisses the brunette, forgetting the other couple momentarily.

"And I love being with you." Alex offers back, foreheads touching.

"Looks like it might be our turn to leave them to it, Serena." Bernie teases.

"We've decided to move in together." Alex states the obvious.

"That's fantastic!" Serena squeals in delight.

"Congratulations!" Bernie is thrilled. "A toast..." she raises her glass and the other three follow suit. "...here's to happiness."

"Happiness!" They chorus and clink glasses.

"So where will you live?" Serena enquires.

"Ah, that we don't know yet. Both our places are pretty similar, so we could choose either really. Or we can move into one temporarily while we put them both on the market and find a new place." Alex explains.

"We had thought the last option might be best. We'd like to start afresh in a new place that was just ours. Ideally we'd stay at Alex's until we find somewhere. Lucie knows where my place is obviously..." Jo goes quiet.

"Has she been bothering you again?" Bernie's fist clenches and Serena covers it with her hand to soothe her.

"Not exactly. I've changed my mobile number and am doing the same with the landline. There have been some calls. Nothing bad." Jo feels awful.

"Do the police know?" Serena looks worried.

"Yes, but so long as no one is physically hurt, there's nothing they can do." Alex struggles to hold her temper. "Jo will move in with me until we find a place of our own. I'm only sorry that she found out where you live." Alex didn't want her bothering their friends.

"Don't worry. She hasn't come back and she was probably too drunk to remember the way." Serena tried to comfort the younger couple.

"Will you stay in Holby then? If she'll always be here." Bernie thinks she knows where this is going.

"We would like to. At least until Jo graduates." Alex won't meet their eye.

"And then?" Serena prompts.

"We haven't thought that far ahead yet. But I had planned to teach elsewhere, granted that was spurred on mostly by Alex and I not being together at the time..." Jo looks sheepish at the memory.

"You're moving away." Bernie would miss her friends terribly.

"Nothing's set in stone yet but it is a possibility. We have a year or so to decide and depending on the interest in our current places." Alex clarifies.

"I feel like this is all my fault." Jo looks crestfallen.

"Hey, this is not your fault." Alex holds her tightly. "Who knows? She might get bored or find the newest conquest to distract her and leave you alone." Alex smiled at the woman she loved. "It's not a big deal, we can handle anything. Together."

"Alex is right Jo." Serena soothes her. "You couldn't have known Lucie would suddenly take an interest in you again. She's just making a nuisance of herself. She'll get tired of it and move on."

"You have nothing to blame yourself for." Bernie chips in. "And whether it be here in Holby or somewhere else, at least you'll be together and you'll always have us watching out for you. Now let's forget about Lucie and enjoy ourselves. I see our food coming."

"Always thinking of your stomach, Wolfe." Serena giggles and breaks the tension.


	26. Chapter 26

"Do you think Lucie is dangerous?" Serena asked Bernie later that night, as they were getting ready for bed. Her face is heavy with worry.

"No. I think a few nuisance phone calls is nothing to worry about. The police know and they have us watching out for them." Bernie kissed her forehead and smoothed her cheek. "I wouldn't let anything happen to any of you, you know that."

"Ok." Serena seemed satisfied with that, but Bernie's face clouded over with something she couldn't place. "What is it?" She rubbed the blonde's arm gently.

"I was wrong about James Fielding though, wasn't I?" Bernie flinched at the memory.

"Oh Bernie, that was months ago. Fletch is fine, no harm done. In fact, if I remember rightly, that was our first kiss." Serena smiled, trying to comfort her girlfriend.

"First of many." Bernie smirked as she kissed the brunette to emphasise her point.

They quickly forgot about Lucie and James Fielding then, as they got lost inside each other's mouths. Serena's hands slipped down to the blonde's waist and tickled at the hem of her pyjama shorts. "I thought you said you don't normally wear pyjamas. You've worn them every night since you moved in." Serena pouts.

"Well, Jason lives her too." Bernie gasps as one of Serena's hands travels past the hem and down to her crotch.

"Jason isn't here." Serena strokes at the blonde's folds with her soft fingers. "Take them off.' She commands.

"I will, if you will." Bernie counters, slowly undoing the buttons of Serena's pyjama top.

"You drive a hard bargain, Major." Serena lifts Bernie's sleep t-shirt to take a nipple into her mouth and suck on it.

"Oh Christ, Serena that's good!" Bernie arches herself further into the brunette's lips. "Ah!" She gasps with pleasure as Serena pulls away sharply, tugging on the nipple.

She finishes unbuttoning her top and slips it off to gather on the floor, before pulling Bernie's t-shirt all the way off to join it.

They collide spectacularly as they search out the other's mouth again, and sparks of delicious friction spur them on as nipples meet. Hands roam freely on now exposed hot flesh and pyjama bottoms are just as hastily discarded, before they tumble on to their bed.

Both seem to know what the other wants instantly, as fingers disappear inside the other's core to slowly entice them to unprecedented levels of ecstasy. Hips grinding and thrusting tantalisingly, as they plunge in and out of their lover's centre, kissing and whispering words of encouragement.

"Serena, I want you all the time. At work, I just want to bend you over our desks. Even tonight, I kept wondering if we could just sneak off for a while. I want to take you, everywhere." Bernie was sure she could never get enough of this woman.

Serena was totally aroused by the thought of Bernie's constant need for her. "Oh, Bernie I have never wanted anyone more. I think about you all the time. Touching you. Kissing you. Fucking you. I never knew it could be like this."

They pick up the pace now, as they get utterly carried away with desire. But they both know that neither will cum this way. So they start to stroke each other's clit with their thumb as they thrust.

"Yes!" Bernie cries out as the new touch sends her into a frenzy. "Fuck, Serena." Her eyes fly wide open as she feels herself lose control. She needs the brunette to fall apart with her, so she applies more pressure to Serena's clit.

"Bernie, oh my God!" Serena revels in the feeling of impending climax. "I'm gonna cum now. Bernie, shit!"

The sight pushes Bernie to her own release as they buck wildly in each other, riddled with release. "Serena, you're making me cum!" Bernie almost looks and sounds in pain, her face contorted in orgasm.

Bodies coated in sweat and blissfully spent, they hold each other close as their breathing evens out again.

"You are the love of my life." Bernie looks deeply into Serena's eyes and has never been more sincere in her words. She kisses the brunette's chest at the place where her heart would be, feeling it beat against her lips.

Serena holds Bernie to her as she pushes her unruly curls off her face. "I can't explain how much I love you. There just aren't the words, I never expected to find love again, but truthfully I don't think I'd ever really found it in the first place. It was nothing like this."

As they drift into a peaceful sleep, they each have a smile on their face, proof of the love they share and the true happiness it brings.

Alex and Jo dander back from the restaurant hand in hand. It was a warm Spring night and they weren't far from Alex's house. Jo had moved most of her stuff there by now, so was more or less living there. They were loving every moment so far and waking up together was fast becoming their favourite thing, along with falling asleep together and just about every minute in between. Jo would insist that she looked an absolute sight first thing in the morning. Hair a tangled mess, skin creased and pale, eyes puffy and sleep laden. Alex knew she'd never seen anything more beautiful, it stole her breath each and every time.

The night of their first date settled in their thoughts. When they'd wished that they would find love and happiness as their friends had. Neither could have known, though they had suspected, that they just had and that it would be so much more than they had imagined. Alex led them slightly off course then, as she took them past the cinema where it had all began.

"This is the place where my life changed in the best possible way." Alex glanced at the building, thinking back to that night. "If someone had told me how amazing things would be after that first date, I wouldn't have believed them. And if they'd told me about all the difficult times ahead of us to get here, I would say it was worth every second." Alex turned to face Jo, taking both of her hands in her own and brought her in for a perfect kiss. "I wonder what's playing at the minute?" Alex lifts her chin towards the listings board above the door, causing Jo to look round.

It was one of those old-fashioned theatre boards where the names were spelled out with individual letters slotted into the frame. Jo gasps as there, in bold capital letters are the words: Jo, will you marry me?

"How did you -" Jo turns back around to see Alex on one knee in front of her. She takes hold of Jo's hand with one of hers and holds the open ring box out with the other.

"My darling Jo, you are the best thing in my life. You make me happier than I even knew it was possible to be and I want to spend the rest of my days making you just as happy. Will you marry me?" Alex takes the ring out to offer to Jo, placing it close to her finger and waiting for her answer.

Jo sobs as she covers her mouth with her free hand, staring down at the woman before her with tears streaming down both their faces. She gives the only response her heart would allow. "Yes. Yes, of course I will."

Alex slips the ring on to her finger and springs up to lift Jo off the ground by her arms round her waist. She twirls them around as they both beam at each other and kiss tenderly.

"She said yes!" Alex shouts out into the night, as she just can't contain this incredible feeling.

Jo laughs and flings her head back as Alex continues to spin them. They smile into another kiss. Their life together stretches out with endless possibilities in front of them. And it starts right here.


	27. Chapter 27

Jo and Alex walked the rest of the way huddled together in a loved up, happy bubble. Grinning at each other like fools and stopping to kiss in shop doorways, against walls, against any surface they could find. It was a wonder that they made it back at all. Jo held her hand up every so often to look at her beautiful ring, how it shone in the streetlights as she moved it this way and that way. Mumbling "I love you" into each other's mouths as they kissed their way home. Home. How much grander, more significant the word seemed now. They would live together, home would always be where the other was now, no matter where. They would be married, bound to each other forever.

"You're going to be my wife." Alex says it with such awe and love, as she stares deep into Jo's eyes. "How did I get so lucky?" Alex can't believe that this beauty in front of her will be hers for always. How could she ever be worthy of such a thing?

"Right back at you." Jo smiles at the thought of their life together. "I am yours and you are mine, Alex Dawson. I love you." Jo runs her hand over Alex's cheek and draws her to her for more kisses.

Once they closed the door on the world outside, they kicked off their shoes and relaxed into being home. "I have something bubbly in the fridge." Alex goes to pour them two glasses of fizz to celebrate.

Jo sits on the sofa and tucks her feet into her side, waiting for Alex to come back. She felt complete in a way she had never known she could. She hadn't realised how much she had been living her life in darkness until Alex became her light. She hadn't been aware a part of her was missing until Alex made her whole.

"For you, my gorgeous fiancée." Alex hands her a glass as she sits beside her. "To us." Alex raises her glass.

"To us." Jo replies and taps her glass against Alex's. After a small sip she sets her glass down and turns to the brunette. "Alex? I want to tell you something."

"Is everything ok?" Alex looks concerned.

"Everything is perfect. You are perfect. I just wanted you to know what you mean to me. Since your accident, I've been so blessed to still have you and it would be remiss of me not to tell you. I am completely, unashamedly, irrevocably, head over heels in love with you. Now and for always. I want you, I need you, I love you. You are my life and I can't imagine being without you. I just want you to never doubt my love for you and even if I don't remember to say it everyday, just know that I always feel it." Jo smiles at her and holds her hands, keeping eye contact throughout.

Alex feels her heart swell at Jo's words and the sentiment touches her deeply. She physically feels how the redhead means every word and Alex knows that she feels exactly the same way. "My Jo, you are everything I could ever want. I love that you have no idea how amazing you are and I will spend a lifetime trying to be who you deserve. Your are the best part of me and the other half of my heart. I will love you always, to the best of my ability and feel proud to call you my own. I just want to be with you in whatever life throws at us. I will smile with you through the good and wipe away your tears through the bad. I will support you and care for you, we will laugh and cry and learn together. I can't wait to marry you." Alex kisses her with such love as they fall back on to the sofa cushions that Jo can actually feel it pass between them.

Sitting back up, Alex moves to her docking station and puts on some soft music. Holding out her hand to Jo, she pulls her to her. They dance as close as they can, holding each other tenderly. "Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?" Alex whispers to her.

"Alex, you are the one who's beautiful. Inside and out." Jo brushes her lips against the brunette's. "My beautiful fiancée." Jo grins at the title.

They offer each other luscious kisses as they move to the music, every part of their front flush against the other's. With her arms around Alex's neck, Jo's skin pimples with goosebumps as the brunette tickles her fingertips the length of her bare arms. Her hands travel down to capture the redhead's waist as she kisses her neck, lost in the heady scent of her perfume. Very slowly she unzipped the redhead's dress, moving her lips over her bare shoulders as she slides the straps of the dress down Jo's arms. It floats to the floor, leaving Jo in the most delicious deep purple lingerie, Alex's heart hammers. She had been showering when Jo was getting ready, so she hadn't seen this set until now. "Wow." Is all she can manage.

Jo watches Alex lick her lips. "Like what you see?" She raises her eyebrow suggestively.

"Absolutely." Alex's brain is only allowing one word answers it would seem. Jo looks unbelievable and she wants her right now. The brunette moves to take her there and then.

Jo has other ideas, as she puts her hand on Alex's chest and leads her backwards to sit at one of their dining chairs, pushing her to sit down. "Keep those hands by your side."

Alex's body responds instantly to the tone of her voice and a thrum of excitement catches in her throat.

Being with Alex made Jo feel more sexually liberated than she had ever known. The brunette always worshipped her body and it had not left Jo unaffected. She felt more confident than she could remember and seeing how much Alex always wanted her made her feel incredible. They had a healthy love life and in the months since they'd been together, Jo was reminded that sex could be enjoyable again. She loved the way being with Alex made her feel. "You are going to watch, just watch. Until I tell you otherwise." Alex nods speechless as Jo's words reach her ears, her eyes drawn to the sight of her in that bra.

The redhead straddles Alex's lap and begins undoing the buttons of her shirt. For every button undone she kisses at the newly revealed skin. Alex's head falls back as Jo reaches the bottom button and kisses the skin at the waistline of her trousers. "Jo." Alex says her name like a hushed prayer. Jo smiles as she undoes the button of her trousers and unzips them to kiss along the line of her underwear. She stands and urges Alex to lift up and pulls the trousers completely off. Her shirt and bra swiftly join them and Jo stands back to admire the effect she's had on her fiancée, as Alex sits panting and totally aroused in just her panties.

"I am so wet for you, Alex." Jo's hand slides from her throat, between her breasts and then disappears into her own panties, she touches herself as Alex watches. "Oh, Alex." She uses her other hand to unhook her bra and bringing her hand slowly back out of her underwear she throws her bra somewhere behind her. She dips her fingers into her wetness again and uses them to coat her nipple and goes to straddle Alex again. "Fancy a taste?"

She doesn't have to ask twice. Alex takes the nipple into her mouth and sucks on it like she might die otherwise. Her head spins at Jo's taste against her tongue, as she laps her essence from the redhead's own nipple. "Fuck, Jo." Alex pulls up, eyes blown with desire and kisses her, Jo's own taste lingers on Alex's tongue as she demands access to the redhead's mouth.

Jo's hand finds its way inside Alex's panties and she gasps at the wetness coating her fingers. "Well these will have to go, you've soaked them." Jo's hand cups Alex and strokes her folds, before she stands to remove her panties for her. Her naked breasts are thrust into Alex's face for a wonderful moment as she gets up. Alex allows her to remove her underwear and then she pounces.

She grabs Jo by the waist and spins her to face away from the brunette and leans her over the dining table. Tracing her hand down the redhead's spine, Jo shudders as she knows what's going to happen next. Alex whips her panties down her legs and waits for Jo to kick them away. Without warning, she plunges three fingers into Jo's core from behind and uses her front to thrust them into her with every pump. "That was so hot, Jo you are such a turn on. Fuck, I want you so much." Alex kisses back up her spine as she grinds further and further into her. She rubs herself against Jo's sumptuous ass as she fucks her.

"Alex. Oh...oh." Jo pushes back in to the other woman's hand as she seeks out release. "I'm...oh God I'm..." Jo cums hard as she floods Alex's fingers and slumps forward against the table.

Alex kisses all over her bare back and shoulders as she eases her back to herself. Jo's legs don't hold her up anymore as she tries not to slide to the floor. Alex sweeps her up in her arms and carries her to the bedroom. Jo's breathing is still heavy and her heart beats wildly against her ribs.

As she lies there, aching with exquisite completion, she feels Alex kiss her way down the front of her body to settle between her thighs. "I just can't get enough of you." Alex kisses the inside of each leg and then looks up to Jo, making sure she is watching her as she takes her first swipe at her with her tongue.

"Oh yes!" Jo has never known her body to be so responsive to anyone else. She will never tire of this woman and the way she makes her feel. "I'm going to cum for you again, Alex." Jo grips the covers as Alex's mouth and tongue drive her to the edge.

Alex replaces her tongue with a finger, as she strokes at Jo's clit softly. "You are so beautiful. You look so sexy when you cum. I love making you feel amazing." Her hand moves up to pinch at one of Jo's nipples, as she brings her mouth back down to suck the redhead's clit into it. She sucks in time with what her hand is going at Jo's breast.

Jo is breathing harshly as the combined sensations take over and her body is lost to the inevitability of release flooding her soul. "Oh Alex. Fuck!" Every muscle in her body contracts as she is forced rigid by the strength of her orgasm. "Shit, oh God, oh God. Alex!" She has never felt anything like it before and it steals her breath, as she struggles for purchase on the sheets either side of her.

Alex slows everything right down when she sees that Jo has become too sensitive to take anymore. She kisses the insides of both Jo's thighs, before continuing back up the redhead's front leaving barely there kisses as she goes. "I love you so much." Alex breathes out the words against Jo's mouth before kissing it. The brunette has tears in her eyes at how beautiful this woman is and how in love they are. Never could she have ever imagined being this happy. She takes her time to just kiss the redhead as Jo's body relaxes into hers and they continue softly kissing.

Jo wants to make Alex feel what she has just done for Jo. Twice. As they kiss, Jo increases the urgency and probes Alex's mouth with her tongue. She slips her hand down Alex's front as the brunette kneels above her and feeling that she is already wet, she slides three fingers inside Alex. The brunette is shocked and aroused by the intrusion as she shudders against Jo's body. "Oh, Jesus. Jo." Alex stares wide eyed at the woman whose fingers are now thrusting in and out of her with intensity. Alex can't help but grind her hips down into the hand, as she lies almost flat on Jo's front, their nipples rubbing together fabulously. Alex rests on her hands to create more leverage as Jo fucks her from underneath. "Jo, oh shit, Jo. You're...I..." the brunette babbles ever closer to climax.

Jo takes her thumb and rubs Alex's clit in earnest, knowing this will be the final push she needs into oblivion. "Do you like me fucking you like this?" Jo's eyes shine with desire and she kisses Alex, nibbling on her bottom lip. "You're so wet for me, Alex. Cum for me. I know you want to." Jo can hardly believe she is saying these things but Alex's need for her was delectable. "I love you."

"Ah! Fuck, I'm coming!" Alex thrust herself further on to Jo's fingers as she lets go. Jo watches her captivated, this woman is incredible and completely hers. "Jo, fuck..." Alex collapses on top of the redhead exhausted from the most delicious orgasm she's ever experienced. They are both hot and sweating and ache and tingle with post coital afterglow. "I love you. Oh God how I love you." Alex offers Jo lazy, perfect kisses.

They slip under the covers, as Alex holds up Jo's ring hand and kisses it tenderly. "I have never been happier." Jo moves as close to her as possible. "Alex, I never knew I could be this happy. You are all I ever want." They just hold each other as sleep takes them, dreaming of a life together just about to start.


	28. Chapter 28

Serena hadn't seen Jo since the night that they'd all had dinner together and she could tell instantly that something was different. She was positively glowing with joy, a shy, knowing smile playing constantly at her lips. Serena had missed something big and she was determined to find out what it was.

"What has you looking so smug?" She slips up beside the redhead and whispers to her.

"Oh my God, Serena you're never going to believe..." Bernie rushes up to her and then spots Jo. "Well, you kept that quiet." She winks at the redhead. "Will you tell her or should I?" She asked Jo, nodding towards Serena.

"Tell me what?" Serena hated being the last to know good news.

She flashed her ring finger at the two women.

"Alex just called and told me. I can't believe you didn't tell us for three whole days!" Bernie pulls Jo in for a hug. "Congratulations, you two deserve all the happiness in the world." Bernie was so delighted for their friends.

Jo didn't have a chance to respond as she was gathered up in Serena's arms next.

"This is amazing! Oh you...I am so happy for you both. I wish you a long and happy life together." Serena pulled away and rubbed her hands up and down Jo's arms.

"Thank you. Both. You have been such great friends to us through everything and we are so lucky to have you. Bernie, I can't thank you enough for introducing us." She beamed at the blonde for changing her life so wonderfully.

"We should celebrate!" Serena chimes, any excuse for Shiraz but this was more than cause to raise a toast.

"Oh yes, that's a great idea darling." Bernie kisses her genius girlfriend. "You and Alex name the night. Our treat."

"Ok, I'll check with her and let you know." Jo smiles and heads back to her desk to pretend to be working instead of staring at her ring.

Bernie and Serena smile fondly at her back as she glides away, so blissfully in love.

"I'm so pleased for them." Serena bumps hips with the blonde. "After everything..." She trails off, trying not to think of how differently this could have played out.

"They are perfect together." Bernie concurs.

"Careful, Major. Anyone would think you're going soft, losing your macho edge." Serena giggles at the soppy romantic she really was.

"Let's go out for a drink after work. Jason's away and we can grab a bite to eat." Bernie hadn't taken Serena out just the two of them for a while. She missed her.

"I'd like that." Serena kisses the tip of her nose and has to tear herself away to finish their shift.

They settled for a Chinese restaurant in town and could head on elsewhere for drinks or they had more than their fair share of bottles to enjoy together at home.

"It's great news about Jo and Alex." Bernie was smiling as they waited for the food to arrive.

"Yes, Jo said Friday night would be best for them because of her class and Alex's shifts. That's good for us, right?" Serena squeezes her hand as they link across the table.

"Sounds good." Bernie was looking forward to it.

"I was thinking..." Serena had a cheeky look in her eyes "...what if we threw them a sort of engagement party? Invited everyone to celebrate with them."

"I like that idea. A surprise party?" Bernie smirked.

"Uh huh." Serena winked at the blonde.

"Let's drink to that." Bernie raises her wine glass.

Serena clinks her glass against it.

They decided on Albies and then they would take the pair out just the four of them another night. They had it all pretty much organised by the time the bill was paid.

"Serena, would you mind if we head home for a drink if you fancy anymore? We haven't spent much time alone lately and I thought we could curl up and watch a DVD if that suits ok?" Bernie says as she leads them back to the car.

"You read my mind, Bernie. I can think of nothing I'd rather do." Serena hugs Bernie's arms to pull her closer and kisses her before rounding the car to go home.

That is how they come to be lying against each other on the sofa, watching a film and sipping Shiraz. The volume is down quite low so they can follow along, but still chat and cuddle and kiss at leisure.

"I'm not really watched this, maybe we could go upstairs and snuggle." Serena kisses Bernie's hair and starts to get up.

"Ok, let's do that." Bernie allows Serena to pull her up off the sofa. They switch everything off and make their way to get ready for bed.

Pulling each other close as they settle under the covers, they chat idly as they're not overly tired just yet.

"I thought that perhaps we could take Jason out somewhere on Thursday. We're all off and it would be nice to do something all three of us." Bernie suggests. "You could let him know now, so that it's not as much of a disruption to his routine."

Serena smiled at how thoughtful Bernie really was and how well she and Jason had taken to each other. "Where did you have in mind?" She kissed her softly and cuddled closer.

"He likes museums, so I thought maybe something like that. Or there's a new Star Wars movie out, I think he'd enjoy that." Bernie was incredibly fond of Jason, he was probably their biggest supporter and was so good at accepting their relationship.

"I had noticed the trailer for the film, I think that would be good. I'll put it to him and see what he says. Thank you for thinking of him." Serena was so in love with this wonderful, caring woman.

"Serena?" Bernie had had something on her mind since she'd found out about Jo and Alex's engagement and she was trying to be more open with Serena since they'd gotten together.

"Hm?" Serena looked up at her and could see she was struggling with her feelings.

"Do you want to get married again?" Bernie blurted out.

"You asking?" Serena teased, as they both giggled.

"It's just that I was thinking, since everything with Jo and Alex, where do you see us going? I mean, when you think of the future, am I there?" Bernie was holding her breath waiting for an answer.

"Yes. Your are most definitely there. If you want to be?" It was Serena's turn to look unsure.

"More than anything." Bernie said without the slightest hesitation. "They came so close to losing each other and I just want you to know that you mean everything to me."

"I feel the same." Serena kissed her passionately. "As for marriage, I guess we have time. I know that Alex's accident showed that none of us know how much. But we've only really been together a few months and living together is wonderful. I'm not saying I don't want to, but there's no rush. Is there?" Serena hoped that was the right response.

"No, it's not really about being married, I just want you to know that I love you and that this is for keeps. But I'll remember that you didn't say no and perhaps ask you someday. I would adore being your wife and having you be mine. How does that sound?" Bernie finished.

"Perfect. Although, you know you have to get divorced first." Serena tickles her playfully and they descend into a silly tickles and pillow fight, laughing uncontrollably.

"I love you." Serena whispers against Bernie's lips when they've regained composure.

"And I love you." Bernie replies before they kiss.


	29. Chapter 29

Jason loved the idea and couldn’t wait for it to be Thursday already, so they could all watch the movie together. Of course it was still fish and chips night so that was non-negotiable, they would catch an afternoon showing and be done in time to pick dinner up on the way home. He had even agreed to pop down to Alex and Jo’s engagement party for a bit, before heading out with his friends from chess club on the Friday evening.

Serena and Bernie had everything ready for the party and had arranged to meet Jo and Alex there under the guise of having a quick drink before going out after shift. They had no idea that the majority of their friends and family were going to turn out for a surprise party for their engagement. The food and decorations were to be set up by the time the women arrived and a card and whip round meant there would be a sizeable wedding donation on behalf of all their friends at Holby and St James’. It was touching to see how well the couple were loved and admired, that everyone was so happy for them.

Thursday rolled around and saw Jason up early and eager to get to the cinema, even though the movie didn’t start until 3.30pm.

“Auntie Serena, Bernie, are you sure we shouldn’t pre-book our tickets online? I want to be sure it isn’t sold out.” Jason shouts through the closed bedroom door.

Serena groans and turns over to check the time. “Urgh, Jason it’s only 8.30am. Can we talk about this later?” She makes no attempt to get up and actually speak to the young man face to face, as she burrows further under the duvet to go back to sleep.

Bernie rolls over and wraps her arm around Serena’s waist from behind and kisses her shoulders. “You’re really not a morning person, are you?” She giggles into the brunette’s skin. “He’s just excited to see the movie. I’ll get up and make us all breakfast. Why don’t you doze for a while?” Bernie kisses her forehead and cuddles in closer before moving to get out of bed. “I’ll use the laptop to book us the tickets just in case.” She throws the words over her shoulder, as she wanders into the ensuite discarding her sleepwear as she goes.

Serena is roused by the sight of Bernie’s naked back disappearing through the door and decides that maybe mornings aren’t so bad after all. Slipping out of the covers she finds herself definitely no longer sleepy as she scurries after the blonde. “Mind if I join you?” She presses herself flush against Bernie as she steps under the spray of the shower.

“Not in the slightest.” Bernie smiles into their first proper kiss of the day, as her hands explore the luscious curves at her disposal. Cheekily gripping Serena’s bum cheeks she pulls her closer with a wicked grin. “You are gorgeous, my love.” Bernie can’t quite believe how much she loves this woman or how she got lucky enough to have Serena let her love her and actually love Bernie in return. If it was all a dream, she prayed to never wake up again. “I love you. I want you to know that I will always love you.” Serena smiles at the utter sincerity of the blonde’s words and the undeniable love in her eyes.

“I love you too. Always.” Serena moves to kiss her again. An overexcited Jason shouting again through the bedroom door startles them apart:

“Auntie Serena, are you getting ready now?”

“Yes Jason. Just give us two minutes and I’ll make breakfast while you and Bernie book the tickets, ok?” Serena sighs in frustration.

“That’s acceptable to me. I’ll wait for you both in the kitchen as I am ready now.”

Both women listen intently for his footsteps on the stairs to signal that he has indeed gone downstairs.

“Come on. We’d better get ready or he’ll be back up.” Serena starts to wash herself in earnest as Bernie laments the missed opportunity of a different outcome for a shared shower.

“Fine, but this isn’t over Campbell.” She kisses Serena deeply and also starts to get washed.

They wander downstairs a little while later to greet a slightly impatient Jason.

“You said two minutes and it’s now been exactly 18 minutes.” Jason stands cross armed glancing between the two women as if he were chastising children.

“Sorry Jason.” Both mumble, thoroughly told off and shifting apologetically from foot to foot.

“Right.” Bernie claps her hands and rubs them together to signify she’s ready for action. “Shall we book those tickets, Jason?” She heads towards the lounge with a tilt of her head at the young man, who eagerly follows her.

They all chatted happily over a lovely breakfast made by Serena, while Jason regaled the women with all the factoids he had about the film and how he had picked the optimal seats for them to enjoy the viewing. His enthusiasm made both smile fondly and nod at appropriate times, offering encouraging sounds at his obvious excitement.

“Jason, what would you say to a little picnic at the park by the museum, after we see the new space and the galaxy exhibit? I hear it’s very good and I even bought your favourite fillings for sandwiches?” Bernie knew she may be pushing her luck by springing this on the young man but she thought they could make a day of it since the weather was so fine.

Jason gave the proposal serious thought, brow furrowed in consideration. “I suppose the exhibition would be in keeping with the theme and I would like to see it. I think we should go.” He smiled kindly at the blonde.

Serena gave Bernie’s hand a quick squeeze for being her wonderful self and for organising a whole day of things that Jason would love. “Thank you.” She mouthed unnoticed except by Bernie.

Bernie shook her head, making her curls bounce from side to side. It really was no trouble, Jason was as important to them both as their own children and she loved him just as much as Serena clearly did. “No problem.” She mouthed in return. “Ok.” She said out loud. “Shall we get this picnic in order and head out?” She stood to clear and wash the breakfast dishes first.

“I’m going to grab my things from my room and then I will come help make sandwiches.” Jason heads off with a quick hug from his Aunt reminding him to bring his coat just in case the weather didn’t hold.

“You are so good to him.” Serena cuddles Bernie from behind while she does the washing up, kissing her neck and holding on tightly to the blonde’s waist.

“He’s family.” Bernie shrugs as if it was obvious.

Serena fights the tears in her eyes as she thinks of how lucky she is to be with this amazing woman. “I love you.” She whispers against blonde hair.

“I love you too, Serena.” Bernie twists in the embrace and kisses the brunette softly. “And I love Jason as if he was my own, it’s no hardship to spend time with him and see him happy. You’ve done wonderfully in helping him become a more rounded, very capable young man. He’s a credit to you.” Bernie kisses her again and moves back to the dishes. “Now, I’ll wash and you dry.” She scoops up a handful of bubbles to place on the brunette’s nose and laughs her huge, infectious laugh.

Serena swats at her arm and wipes the suds off with the tea towel as she laughs right along with her, before setting to work. “Bernie?”

“Yeah.” The blonde stills at the sink to look up at the other woman.

“I just want you to know that I feel so lucky to be with you and I am so happy.” Serena smiles widely despite the shine of tears in her eyes.

“I feel exactly the same.” Bernie mirrors the smile and lets the water out before drying her hands on the end of the tea towel in Serena’s hands. “Any special requests for the picnic?” She turns her attention to sandwich making duty.

Serena shakes her head and puts the now dry dishes away before coming to the blonde’s side to help. 

Jason reappears and insists on making his own sandwiches as the two women work perfectly in tandem to get everything ready and packed for lunch. An easy silence falls between them and they both feel a sense of peace and fulfilment unlike anything before. Once lunch is prepared they all head out in Serena’s car.

Bernie walks mostly with Jason as they chat animatedly about the exhibit, pointing things out to the other. Serena hangs back slightly to watch these two incredibly important people in her life get on so well, a small smile playing on her lips.

“You ok?” Bernie slows when she sees Serena lagging a little, extending her hand for the brunette to take.

Serena gladly takes it and they explore the rest of the museum hand in hand, content to watch Jason enjoy the surroundings.

Afterwards, they find a quiet little picnic bench in the park and settle in for a while to eat and chat as they wile away the time enjoying the sunshine and watching the world go by. The women are pulled from their quiet contentment by Jason reminding them of the risks of too much sun exposure and that the film starts soon, he also wants to have time to purchase his snacks.

Jason led the way to the cinema, with Serena and Bernie bringing up the rear hand in hand. Bernie made sure they had the right tickets and all the snacks and drinks they could handle before they took their seats for the movie.

Once they had watched the film, it was time to head to the chip shop for dinner and then home. Jason gestured and talked about the film the whole way and they ordered three cod and chips (with an extra large gherkin and pickled egg for Jason) to take back with them. After dinner they all relaxed in the living room to watch some of Jason's shows before bedtime.

“I think I might go to bed now, it's been a stimulating day and I'm tired.” Jason announces after the third episode of Countdown is over. “I had a good time today, thank you.” Jason smiles at both women. “Goodnight Auntie Serena, goodnight Auntie Bernie.”

“Goodnight Jason.” Serena beams up at the young man from her spot on the sofa. Bernie just stares open mouthed and fighting back tears.

“Goodnight Jason.” She manages eventually.

Serena nudges her and her eyes flash with concern. “Are you ok?”

“He called me Auntie Bernie. He's never done that before.” Bernie turns to meet Serena’s gaze.

“Welcome to the family. Officially.” Serena smiles into a soft kiss. “Now, care to follow me upstairs to finish what we started in the shower this morning?” She throws a wink at the blonde as they race to the bedroom.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit darker than previous chapters. Storyline is only fictional and not intended to offend. I in no way condone Lucie's actions or attempt to make light of a serious situation. Used for dramatic effect and to set up the rest of the story only.

The day of the engagement party saw Serena flapping around in unfettered excitement. It was somewhat fortuitous that they didn't have many electives scheduled and the red phone was rather forgiving, as the brunette was miles away. A quick dash down to Albies in their lunch break meant that Serena could check, for quite possibly the millionth time, that everything was in hand. The caterers would be arriving to start prep by 4.30pm and most of the decorations were already out. All of the guests had confirmed that they would be there waiting to surprise the couple when Bernie and Serena brought them over at 8pm. The card and money were securely locked in Serena’s locker, which she kept going to check on just in case.

“Will you relax? Everything's perfect. Alex has just texted me and she and Jo are heading home after their shifts to change and will meet us back here at 8pm. We have our outfits here, so we can change. Raf and Morven are more than happy to cover the last half hour so we can make sure this place is completely set up. Then I'll fire home to bring Jason down.” Bernie kisses the tip of Serena's nose affectionately.

“I know, I know. I just want tonight to be amazing, they've been through so much and they deserve to enjoy this time with everyone around them.” Serena was nothing if not the consummate hostess with the mostess. “Maybe I should ring the caterers just one more time to be sure.” She fishes around in her bag for her mobile.

“Serena. It's all arranged. And if something truly awful does happen and they don't turn up, we'll send out for pizzas or Chinese or whatever.” Bernie was always so calm and level headed, Serena couldn't have been luckier if she tried.

“You're right. Of course you're right.” She reaches up to stroke the blonde's cheek and pull her in for a soft kiss.

“Now, it is lunchtime and all this talk of food has me starving! Let's go eat.” Bernie grins and all but drags the brunette to Pulses for a triple decker club sandwich, which she devours mercilessly.

Things run smoothly for the rest of the day and Bernie leaves Serena to the finishing touches of her make up while she goes to collect Jason as planned.

All of Alex and Jo's friends and family are waiting and the food and decorations are all prefect and ready by the time Serena, Bernie and now Jason are there to greet the two women outside Albies.

“Hey you two. I hope you don't mind that I mentioned our little evening to Jason and he said he'd pop along before he meets up with friends. This way I don't have to run home and get him before taking him into town.” Serena kisses both warmly on the cheek.

Both women make “of course we don't mind” noises while Alex shakes the young man's hand and they fall into easy conversation about last night's World’s Strongest Man. Jo and Alex had met Jason previously and were very fond of him too.

As they push though the doors to the bar, the happy couple are startled to note that the place is pitch black, before the lights are suddenly flipped on again.

“SURPRISE!!!!” A great chorus of shouts and applause erupts from their nearest and dearest as the two women are engulfed in tight hugs by everyone. Their faces paint a pretty picture of surprised glee as they turn to Bernie and Serena giving them identical knowing looks.

Alex moves to hug the blonde, as Jo does the same to Serena before they swap, offering sincere congratulations to the pair.

“It was all Serena's idea.” Bernie winks at her co-conspirator, who promptly swats her on the arm playfully.

They watch the couple make their way through the crowd, stopping to chat with each and every person who had so kindly and thoughtfully agreed to come and wish them well. They even noticed their parents deep in content conversation in one of the booths, along with all their siblings. They hadn't had a chance to really do the whole meet each other's family thing properly. The only time they'd come close was when Jo had had to let Alex's family know about the accident but they'd all been too concerned for the brunette to afford introductions. They were beyond delighted to see them all under happier circumstances and getting on so well.

Bernie very stealthily handed over a huge wad of notes to the bartender and asked for everyone to be given some champagne and any soft drinks wanted by those who weren't drinking – thinking most obviously of Jason, who might have a small shandy but hardly ever partook really.

The jukebox was started up at some point and the atmosphere was jovial as they all settled in to celebrate with the women. Everyone said that the food was delicious and Jason even seemed to be mingling well. All in all, everyone was thoroughly enjoying themselves.

Once everyone appeared to be fed and watered, it was time for the card and gift to be presented and Bernie made her way with Serena to the makeshift stage to give a small speech of sorts. They both spoke briefly about how happy they were for Jo and Alex and how great they were together, before calling them up to the stage and handing over the envelope to a huge round of applause.

“Well, I really don't know what to say....” Alex started nervously, not one for making speeches. “...except thank you so much, from both of us, for being here tonight and for this very generous gift. We love you all.” She broke off to offer Jo a quick supportive squeeze, as the redhead’s eyes filled with tears, overwhelmed by the love and kindness.

“Yes, thank you all for everything.” Jo managed to choke out.

Another roar of applause went up as they left the stage to start thanking everyone individually and some braver family members and friends took to the mic to share their words of support and some hilarious stories about the couple.

A little while later, Jason said his goodbyes and Serena waved him off in the taxi before heading back inside. 

The room was filled with love and laughter, no one seemed to notice the lone figure make her way to the microphone until she was speaking.

“Excuse me everyone, I have a few words to share with the happy couple.” She stood staring straight at the pair.

All heads turned towards the stage, some smiling at the thought of another heartfelt speech but others, once they saw who it was, just looked on in frozen horror. This would not be good....

“Let me introduce myself, for those of you who don't know me. I'm Lucie, Jo's ex girlfriend.” An eerie silence settled as even those who had been smiling realised this could end badly.

Alex made to rush to the stage to stop the woman making a scene but was held back by Jo. “Please Alex, just ignore her. She'll get bored and leave if we just leave her to it.” Jo's eyes plead with her fiancée to let it go.

“You see, ladies and gentlemen. Jo and I were together for ten years.” Lucie continues, speech slightly slurred, obviously she had been drinking. “I made some mistakes and here we are.” She sweeps her hand wildly at the scene in front of her to make her point. “You might say I was a little disappointed not to be expressly invited to the celebrations this evening but I can promise you all a night to remember.” Something falls from Lucie's hand then as she slumps forward against the mic. “I'm afraid to say that I might be in danger of upstaging the ladies on their big night by having done something a bit foolish.”

It's only then that Bernie notices what it was the woman had dropped. An empty pill bottle. “Christ, I think she's taken something.” Pushing through the throng of people, she doesn't reach the stage in time before Lucie starts to throw up and collapses.

“Move!” Bernie manages to shoulder through those closest to the stage, Serena and a few of the other doctors present not far behind. “Serena phone ahead we need to get her next door quickly!” Bernie checks for breathing and a pulse and thankfully both are fine. She grabs the bottles and checks the label and contents. 

“Ok, tell them she seems to have taken a full bottle of 32 paracetamol.” Bernie knows that can't be good. “We need to pump her stomach and check her liver, if she took all of these we need to move fast.” Bernie relays everything to Serena who is letting the ED know. The staff have a stretcher waiting for Bernie outside the door, who carries Lucie to it.

“Female approximately....” Bernie turns to Jo for confirmation. “...39 years old. Appears to have ingested 32 paracetamol possibly with alcohol. Pulse is 65 and breathing normally. Vomited at the scene but seems lucid enough. We need to get her to theatre, empty stomach contents. No signs of having taken anything else but not confirmed.” Bernie rushes through the handover as they push Lucie through the doors of the hospital, leaving a small crowd from the party outside.

“I should go in. Someone needs to be there when she comes out of theatre.” Jo starts to head inside.

“Jo are you sure about this?” Alex looks unconvinced.

“She has no one else here Alex. She shouldn't be on her own. I feel like this is my fault.” Jo hangs her head. “I'll see if they can reach her parents, then I'll wait for them.”

“This isn't down to you Jo.” Alex hugs the redhead tightly before letting her go. “Do you want me to come wait with you?” Jo shakes her head and disappears inside.  
Bernie and Serena wrap their arms around the brunette.

“I want to wait here for Jo. You two should head on home.” Alex looks completely shell shocked.

“We'll sit with you for a while. Lucie shouldn't be in theatre very long, there should be some news soon.” Both women direct Alex to the ED waiting area and ask to be kept informed of Lucie's progress. They can't see Jo anywhere so she must be in a side bay, probably giving as much of Lucie's information as she can to one of the doctors.

They only had to wait a little while before Jo reappeared in the waiting area. “She seems to be fine. She's resting and the doctor say she's alright. There's no next of kin listed except me so I need to stay here.” Jo looks exhausted. “They've called for a psych consultation because...” Jo breaks down and clings to Alex.

“It's ok, Jo. She's ok and she might need some help but it'll be alright, you'll see.” Alex tries to reassure her.

Jo convinces the others to head home and goes back up to sit with Lucie overnight. They'd had no luck locating her parents, who must have moved since Jo knew them. She had dozed off in the chair by Lucie's bed and is awoken the next morning by the woman herself.

“Jo?”

“Lucie, you're awake. How are you feeling?” Jo offers her a small smile and squeezes her hand. “They tried to get hold of your parents but -”

“They won't. Mum died 18 months ago and Dad went downhill after that. He's in a care home now.” Lucie explains.

“What about Peter?” Jo asks after Lucie's brother.

“Still in Canada. Don't bother him with this, as soon as they discharge me I'll get something sorted.” Lucie tries to sit up but winces at the pain.

“Easy. I'll go and tell the doctors you're awake.” Jo leaves, missing the evil smirk on the other woman's face.

Jo comes back with a doctor in tow. “Hello Ms Jackson, I'm Dr Collins one of the psychiatrist here at the hospital. I've come to have a quick chat in private if you're feeling up to it?” Jo steps outside to give them the privacy to talk.

“If this is about my supposed suicide attempt, don't bother doc.” Lucie smarms.

“Ah yes, exactly. Supposed indeed, you see your bloods and stomach contents were competently free of any traces of paracetamol or anything else, apart from salt water, to induce the vomiting no doubt, and a little vodka. So you didn't attempt an overdose.” Dr Collins clarifies.

“Well, doc I won't tell if you don't.” Lucie winks at the psychiatrist.

“Yes, unfortunately doctor-patient confidentiality prevents me from telling. I have no choice but to release you, as you seem otherwise fit and healthy. One of the ward doctors will arrange for your discharge tomorrow. I am referring you for outpatient counselling, as I'm sure you're aware of the seriousness of orchestrating something like this. As long as you attend those, I have no choice but to sign you off as safe to discharge. Do you have somewhere to stay, I cannot advise you being alone at the moment?” Dr Collins looks up from writing her notes to see Lucie grin.

“If you can just call the woman in who was with me. I think we can arrange that.” Lucie's plan was coming together quite nicely.


	31. Chapter 31

“You want her to move in with us?” Alex looks at her fiancée like perhaps she could use a psych consult.

“Just for a while, until she's strong enough to go home.” Jo tries to justify.

“Why are you even asking me? You've already said yes to this, haven't you?” Alex knew Jo too well it would seem, as the redhead nods in response. “And you want her to come here, to my house?” Alex's voice goes up at the end in temper.

“Our house.” Although Jo should know now was not the time.

“Shouldn't she be admitted? If she tried to kill herself, they should be keeping her in hospital, not sending her home.” None of this made any sense to the brunette.

“She has to attend regular therapy sessions, she says it was just a moment of weakness, that it won't happen again. The psychiatrist signed her off so she must think it's safe enough.” Jo reasons with her fiancée.

“I don't think I can do this.” Alex turns her back on Jo.

“She tried to overdose at our engagement party, she has no other family or friends. What else would you have me do Alex?” Jo fights not to cry, feeling like she'll have to choice between them.

“You trust her? You're sure she's not up to something?” Alex puts it to the redhead.

“As sure as I can ever be where Lucie's concerned.” Jo admits and Alex immediately tenses. “I don't think even she would be this calculating, no.”

“I don't want to be here if she is.” Alex holds Jo's gaze to show she means it.

“What are you saying? Alex?” Panic courses through Jo.

“I'll go to a hotel or stay with Bernie and Serena, but I'm not living under the same roof as her.” Alex races upstairs to pack some things before she can change her mind.

“Alex, no. Alex, wait please don't do this!” Jo follows her and tries to make her stop flinging her clothes into the holdall.

“I'm not doing this. She is and you are!” Alex's temper finally breaks. “Jesus Christ, Jo. You arranged all this without even asking me. We're supposed to be getting married for fuck sake and you do this without even thinking about me at all. I'd say you've more than made your choice.” Jo flinches at Alex’s words.

“She has no one else.” Jo can see how pathetic that sounds.

“No, she's using you because she knows you care about people. I love how you always see the good in everyone, but sometimes it isn't there, Jo.” Alex rests her forehead against the redhead’s, all the fight having left her. “I just hope I'm wrong about her but I can see now that she'll always try to come between us. I'm sorry Jo.”

Jo pulls back from Alex, hearing what she isn't saying. “You don't need to pack anymore, just go to work. Lucie won't be here when you come home. Neither will I.”

Alex wants to say something, anything that will fix this but she knows there's nothing. She does the only thing she can, placing a final kiss to Jo’s temple. “I will always love you.” She reluctantly steps away from the redhead and leaves.

True to her word, Jo is gone by the time Alex’s shift finishes. When Alex goes through the house, it could almost be as if she never existed, apart from the photos of them together scattered on various surfaces or how her scent lingers in the air. There on the dining table, laughing at Alex, sits the ring she'd given the redhead barely days ago. Alex picks it up, staring at it and seeing the rest of her life disappear. She flings it into some far corner of the room in devastation as she sinks to the floor and sobs over losing the love of her life.

Her harrowing cries echo in the now empty house, where love had once filled every nook and cranny. Everything she touched and everywhere she looked held the imprint of a shared memory that would taunt her for being so hopelessly in love.

She picked herself rather gracelessly off the floor, grabbing the engagement card and her car keys and headed out. Cutting off the engine at her destination she dragged herself to the front door and rang the bell.

“Alex?” Bernie swung the door open to see her friend looking dreadful on the other side. “What's happened?” The blonde leads her in to sit on the sofa. “Serena!” She calls the brunette downstairs, as she thought this was probably going to be a two woman job.

Serena slows when she sees Alex, looking to Bernie for confirmation of what was going on but the blonde can only shrug.

“I thought I should give this back. I'd appreciate it if you could return the money to everyone, I just can't face them.” Alex hands over the envelope.

“Why, what's wrong Al?” Bernie shuffles closer to her friend.

“It's over. Jo’s gone. I presume back to her house.” Alex buries her face in her hands, body wracked with more sobs.

“What?” Serena takes the seat on Alex's other side.

“She wanted Lucie to stay with us now that she's being discharged. I just couldn't... She chose Lucie and she left.” Alex gives the short version.

Neither of the other women really knew what to say to that.

“There must be a way to fix -” Bernie tries to see the positive side.

“There isn't.” Alex cuts her off. “Best to cut my loses. Some people are just not meant for happily ever after.”

“Alex, that's not true. You and Jo were so happy, I can't believe this is what either of you really want. We must be able to do something.” Serena wouldn't accept that this was it.

“What's the use, Serena? Lucie isn't going away and Jo will always choose her. I think that's fairly obvious now.” Alex really was giving up.

“But -” Bernie tries to back up her partner, she didn't want this to be the end for the couple.

“Leave it, will you?!” Alex snaps at the pair. “She's gone, she isn't coming back. She gave me back the ring. I think that says it all, don't you?” She stands and walks out on her speechless friends, the slam of the front door making them both jump.

“I'll phone Jo. We'll get to the bottom of this.” Serena wanders off to find her phone.

Jo doesn't answer any of Serena’s calls or texts that night and eventually switched her phone off. She didn't want to talk to anyone else, she just wanted Alex. She didn't want to be back in her own house, in her own bed alone and sobbing her heart out. She wanted this all to be a horrible nightmare, one she could wake up from and find comfort in the arms of the brunette beside her. But Alex wasn't here and it was all real.

Neither woman slept well that night and Alex stirred to the memory that she'd agreed to work a locum shift at Holby. “Bollocks.” She drags herself to the shower, silently praying not to run into Jo. She reasoned that she might have the day off to take Lucie home and she might get away with it.

Jo felt and looked like a zombie as she drove to the hospital to pick up Lucie. She had barely slept a wink and her eyes and face were red and puffy from crying all night. She would just dash in and get Lucie and head straight home. No one knew about her and Alex yet she imagined, except Bernie and Serena, if the barrage of calls and text were any clue. Unfortunately, Lucie had been moved to AAU once her condition improved so Jo couldn't avoid them.

It seemed Bernie and Serena would be the least of her worries, as she sees a familiar figure leave Pulses and head to the lift at the same time as her. “Alex.” Her voice sounds far away and she bites back tears as the brunette spots her.

All the breath leaves Alex's body, she was not ready for this. Not today. Not ever. She slams the call button on the lift furiously, hoping it will arrive faster and take her away from the redhead.

“I'm just here to pick up Lucie.” Jo explains feebly.

Alex clears her throat at the mention of the other woman but offers no comment. “I gave the money back. Hardly right to keep it now there'll be no wedding.” Christ this was agony! “Actually I think I'll just use the stairs.” Alex turns on her heel and runs for the stairwell.

“Alex...” Jo calls after her but it's too late. She steps on to the lift, wiping at her tears.

On the ward, she is faced with a less than pleased Bernie who just stares at her cross armed and fires through instructions for Lucie's recovery. Obviously she would want to side with Alex. She snatches the chart away as Jo just about finishes signing the discharge papers and storms off.

“Jo, could I have a quick word?” Serena seems softer, more concerned and Jo can't handle the kid gloves any easier than Bernie's wrath.

“I don't think there's much to say really.” Jo replies sadly, blinking back more unwanted tears.

“Well, I'm here if you want to talk. Anytime.” Serena gives her a quick hug before getting back to work.

Jo drives Lucie back in complete silence, the other woman tries to engage her in conversation but to no avail. When they pull up outside her house Lucie seems confused. “I thought you lived with Alex now.”

Ignoring her, Jo grabs Lucie's bag and walks them to the front door. “I'll take you back to you place tomorrow if you want to bring more of your things here.”

When Jo reaches up to unlock the door, Lucie notices the distinct lack of an engagement ring on her hand. 

“Where's the rock?” Lucie wiggles her ring finger to make her point clear.

“Can we not do this now please?” Jo pushes open the door and heads inside. “You know where the spare room is, feel free to make yourself at home.” Jo's voice says the words but she seems flat.

“Where's Alex, Jo?” Lucie pushes.

“We broke up.” Jo crumbles and Lucie catches her in a hug.

“Oh my poor Jo-Jo. I hope it wasn't something I did.” Lucie's evil smirk is hidden over Jo's shoulder.

Meanwhile back at the hospital, Alex goes through the motions but she can't stop thinking about Jo. “Ok, Mrs Cunningham. My name is Alex Dawson. I'll be the anaesthetist for your procedure this afternoon.” She smiles at the woman but it doesn't reach her eyes.

“Hello Dr Dawson, this is my granddaughter, Beth.” Mrs Cunningham indicates a blonde around Alex's age in the chair by her bed.

“Please call me Alex.” She shakes the younger woman's hand. “Right, Mrs Cunningham I just want to ask you a few questions. Nothing to worry about, but I see you've had heart trouble in the past so we may want to avoid giving you a general anaesthetic if we don't have to. I'll just run through this and then we'll get you ready for theatre.”

“Tell me Dr Dawson, are you single?” The older lady asks.

“Nana!” Her granddaughter flushes red and looks at Alex apologetically.

“Well, that's a kind offer Mrs Cunningham but I think you might be a bit too much for me to handle.” Alex winks at the lady in the bed.

“So you are single then? And you like a feisty woman then, am I right? You see my granddaughter here is single too.”

“Nana, seriously.” Beth wishes the ground would swallow her. “I'm really sorry, she does this sometimes. She won't rest until she sees me married off and her suitor of choice at the minute seems to be a doctor.”

Alex laughs this off. “No harm done.”

“Right, Nana I'll leave you to chat with Dr Dawson and I'll be back soon.” Beth bends to kiss her grandmother's forehead.

“Alex is fine, honestly.” She smiles as the young woman leaves.

Mrs Cunningham’s granddaughter comes back up to the ward to see her off to theatre and sits waiting for her to come back from recovery.

“Is she ok?” Beth looks between Alex and the blonde surgeon who did the operation.

“She did extremely well.” Alex notes the lady's stats on her chart and tries to reassure her granddaughter with a small squeeze to the forearm.

“Thank you.” Beth sits by her grandmother's bed, as Bernie introduces herself again and carries out some obs.

“How well do you know that other doctor?” Beth tilts her head towards Alex as she puts the question to Bernie.

“Well enough. Why?” Bernie pauses in making her notes to look at the younger woman.

“Do you know if she's single?” Beth casually asks, a small smile playing on her lips.


	32. Chapter 32

Over the following weeks Alex seemed to keep bumping into Beth. The first time being about 3 weeks after meeting her. The brunette was moping alone in a bar, trying to let alcohol numb her broken heart. She signals to the barman, waving her empty beer bottle to ask for another and when it arrives, she is just taking her first mouthful when someone knocks into her and spills beer all over her.

“Oh God, I'm so sorry. Here, let me get you another one.” The blonde who'd bumped into her, fishes a note out of her purse and pays for another beer. “Don't I know you from somewhere?” The woman stares at Alex, as if this will make the answer come to her.

Eyeing the blonde, Alex had to agree, she did seem vaguely familiar but she can't place her.

“I know! You're my Nan's doctor, Dr Dawson right?” The blonde extends her hand. “I'm Beth Cunningham. My Nan was in Holby City for her op a few weeks ago.” She smiles warmly at the brunette.

“Oh yes, of course. Hello again. How is your grandmother?” Alex shakes the woman’s hand.

“She's fighting fit, nothing stops her. Even at 84.” Beth clearly was very close to the older lady. “Anyway, I'm terribly sorry for soaking you in beer. Enjoy the rest of your night.” Beth gathers up her round of drinks and heads back to sit with the group she was with.

Alex remains perched at the bar for a while longer, guzzling back enough beer to try to forget Jo. Unfortunately it wasn't working in the slightest.

“Drowning your sorrows over some girl?” Beth nudges Alex and sees the maudlin expression on the brunette’s face deepen to something close to total agony and realises she’s hit the nail on the head. “Oh shit, you are. I am so sorry, my mouth runs away with me sometimes.” Beth almost dies of embarrassment. “Wanna talk about it?”

“No.” Alex moves to push herself off the barstool.

“Look, I really am sorry. If it helps, I split up with my girlfriend of 5 years a few months ago.” Beth squeezes Alex's hand kindly. “I wanted kids and she didn't. Couldn't have told me that 5 years ago... Her name is Kate. What's yours called?” Beth catches the brunette’s eye with a look of understanding.

“Jo.” Alex whispers the redhead’s name as if it hurts less than saying it out loud. It doesn't. “4 weeks ago we got engaged. 10 days later we weren't engaged anymore.” Alex lets a lone tear fall. “Long story.... I should be getting home.” Alex stands on wobbly legs and makes her way out of the bar.

For some unknown reason she finds herself walking home via Jo's place and considers banging on the door. She was drunk but maybe not that drunk. Standing there under the streetlight in front of Jo's house, she tortured herself with memories of the redhead, blinking back the torrent of tears as her heart physically aches with missing Jo.

A flutter at the blinds of Jo's bedroom catches her attention as she looks up to see the redhead staring back at her. Jo places her hand up to the glass of her window, as if she can reach out to the brunette. Jo couldn't explain if pressed how she had known to look out at that moment, perhaps the brunette’s heart had called to her somehow. She moves away from the window to race downstairs, she flings open her front door but the brunette was nowhere to be seen.

“Alex?” Jo looks both ways along her street but there was no sign of her. With a heavy heart and eyes full of tears, she drags herself back inside.

Once she gets home, Alex drunk dials the redhead. Jo gets the voicemail when she checks her phone before bed.

“Jo, my Jo.” The redhead sobs at the term of affection, she can hear the hint of a slur to Alex's voice and knows she must have been drinking. “I'm a mess without you Jo. I can't think about anything else. I miss you so much it hurts to even breathe. I want you to come home.” Jo's breath catches as a small speck of hope sparks in her chest, she sits up taller waiting, with the phone pressed tighter to her ear, for Alex's next words. “But you can't, can you? She's still there I suppose. I shouldn't have called, I'm sorry. I need to get used to life without you.” Alex had hung up after that and Jo cried herself to sleep, much as the brunette had just streets away.

The next time Alex saw Beth was during a shift about 3 weeks later.

“At this point, who's following who?” Beth chuckles as Alex spins from her place in the queue for St James’ café and stares at the blonde. “Don't you work at Holby anyway, made your way to the wrong hospital this morning, did you?” She beams at the brunette.

“I was working as a locum that day, I'm based here.” Alex explains briefly. “What's your excuse?”

“I'm a social worker. I was here on a referral about a patient. Just stopped to grab some lunch and here you are in front of me in the queue. Small world.” Beth quips. “So are you on a lunch break, fancy some company?”

“I was just going to take a coffee back upstairs. Thanks anyway.” Alex brushes off the invitation as politely as possible.

“Ah come on. You have to eat, have lunch with me. I won't keep you long, I promise. I need to head back to the office soon.” Beth wasn't backing down.

“Fine. Maybe a quick sandwich.” Alex concedes.

They find an empty table and sit to eat their lunch. 

“My Nan asked about you the other day, I mentioned bumping into you at that bar. She'll get a real kick out of this, something about fate no doubt.” Beth tries to ease them into light conversation but Alex just grunts and tries to eat her lunch as quickly as possible. “Are you always this charming, or is this just for me?” Beth teases.

“I'm sorry. I'm not much company at the moment.” Alex looks contrite. “You seem to be close to your grandmother.”

“Well, yes we are close. My parents kicked me out when I came out to them and she took me in. She's always loved and supported me. I don't know what I'd have done without her.” Beth munches her salad thoughtfully.

“Oh I'm sorry. Do you see your parents now?” Alex asks intrigued.

“They came around a few years ago but by then I had my own place and my Nan lives nearby so I can keep an eye on her.” Beth sips slowly at her cappuccino. “She's a firecracker, as you saw.” She winks at the brunette.

“She certainly seems to be quite the character yes.” Alex laughs in agreement.

“Best wing woman ever.” Beth giggles and Alex chuckles along with her.

Beth glances at her watch then. “Oh shoot, I need to go. It was nice to see you again Dr Dawson.” She stands and gathers her things together, throwing her rubbish in the bin.

“It's Alex.” She smiles up at the blonde as she grabs her handbag and laptop pouch.

“Ok. Alex. Maybe we'll bump into each other again soon.” A huge smile breaks out on her face as she rushes back out of the hospital to get back to work.

Bernie and Serena take Alex out for drinks a couple of weeks later. Serena is struggling with choosing between their friends, but she understands how close Bernie and Alex are so she tries to remain impartial. She had taken Jo out a couple of times to try to cheer her up a bit, but Bernie never wanted to come with them.

“Ok. Alex, now this is getting creepy.” Beth notices Alex in the booth with the other two women when she makes her way to the bathroom.

“Beth, hi.” Alex stands up to greet the blonde with a handshake. “These are my friends Bernie and Serena.” She indicates each woman in turn and the blonde shakes hands with them. “This is Beth, she’s a patient's granddaughter.”

“Oh yes of course. The incorrigible Mrs Cunningham!” Bernie suddenly remembers where she'd seen the young woman before. “I hope she's keeping well.”

“Yes, she’s very well thank you.” Beth smiles at them all. “Don't mind me, I'm just running off to hide from my insufferable blind date.” She furtively points to another woman sitting at a table across the bar. “This never would have happened if my Nan had vetted her first.” Beth and Alex both laugh at this. “God she's boring!” She places a hand on Alex's upper arm for a moment. Bernie and Serena eye each other, watching the exchange.

“Right, nice to meet you both. I best get this over with.” She waves at the table as she dashes to the loo for a breather before going back to her date.

“Beth, huh?” Bernie nudges her friend.

“What? I just keep meeting her everywhere. She's only being friendly because we looked after her Nan.” Alex shrugs it off.

“Yeah right. She asked me if you were single when her Nan came back from surgery.” Bernie just lets that little gem sink in.

“She did?” Alex seems surprised.

“She did.” Bernie confirms.

Alex gives that information some thought but doesn't dwell on it. The woman was here on a date with someone else after all. Albeit a terrible date. Neither of the other women can help but notice when Alex watches Beth weave her way back to her own table, drinks in hand.

She chokes on her beer when Beth catches her attention at one point with an exaggerated eye roll aimed at her date, but only Alex sees. She can't help but laugh at the blonde, who flashes her a bright smile.

“It's good to see her laugh again. Maybe this Beth is just what she needs.” Bernie whispers into Serena’s ear.

“What about Jo?” Serena replies, torn between wanting Alex to be happy and knowing that she should be with the redhead.

“She made her choice.” Bernie says coldly, Serena had never known her to be like this.

After a while, Beth’s date takes her leave and the blonde wanders back over to Alex. “Good God, I thought I'd never get rid of her.” She sighs exasperated. “I need another drink.” She turns to head to the bar.

Let me get that for you.” Alex stands to accompany her.


	33. Chapter 33

“So, how have you been Jo?” Serena smiles kindly at her friend, they hadn't seen much of each other for a couple of weeks.

“Fine.” Jo's reply is unconvincing, as she sits in the visitors seat in the office at the end of the day.

“Really?” Serena places her hand over the redhead’s.

“How's Alex?” Jo looks up with tears in her eyes. She wasn't sure what she wanted the answer to be – she didn't like to think of the brunette unhappy, but would it bring a small amount of comfort to know she was suffering too?

“She's... well she's... oh God I don't know how to tell you this...” Perhaps it would be better for Jo to be kept in the dark. Then again, she might not need to find out some other way.

“What is it? Is something wrong, did something happen to her?” Jo’s voice was dripping panic and concern.

“No, no nothing like that. It's just, she's seeing someone.” Serena can't meet her friend's eye.

“Oh. I see.” Jo stands up to flee, this was too much. “I have to go.” Jo lets out a strangled sob, which she isn't fast enough to cover up with her hand to her mouth.

“Jo, wait. It's still very early days and I don't think it's serious. She seems nice enough but -” What could Serena really say to soften the blow?

“You've met her?” Jo’s eyes search Serena’s, the brunette had never seen one look convey so much pain. “Well, I hope she's happy.” Tears stream down the redhead’s cheeks as she turns and runs.

She gets up to the roof of the hospital and gulps in lungfuls of air, grasping at the railing as her heart breaks all over again. Alex was moving on and she was still a wreck. Dropping to her knees she struggles to breathe through the sobbing. She doesn't hear the latch click as someone else joins her on the roof.

“Jo?” Oh great just who she needed to see. Bernie.

“Go away, Bernie.” Jo chokes out.

“What's wrong?” In a surprising move, the blonde sinks down beside her and hugs her to her.

“Please just leave me alone.” Jo's words don't match with how tightly she is clinging to the other woman, crying into her shoulder.

“Not until you tell me what has you in this state.” Bernie pulls the redhead back slightly to look at her.

“It's my fault. I told her about Beth.” Serena moves towards the pair.

“Beth. Is that her name?” This starts Jo's sobs anew.

“She's not really that interested, I know that's little consolation. For what it's worth, she's still very much in love with you.” Bernie could see now how unfair she had been to ignore the redhead, she hadn't thought of how much the woman clearly still loved her friend.

“It's too late.” The reality of that truth crushes Jo.

“Why don't I take you home, Jo?” Serena helps the redhead to her feet.

“I'd rather you take me somewhere with copious amounts of alcohol.” Jo says with total sincerity.

“That won't help you.” Bernie looks at her with concern.

“What will?” Jo sighs defeated.

Against their better judgement they drop Jo at a bar as requested.

“I think I better ring Alex. She needs someone to keep an eye on her.” Bernie watches the redhead wander inside.

“Do you think she'll come?” Serena replies.

Bernie rings her friend anyway. “Hi Al, it's Bernie."

“What's up?”

“Don't get mad, ok? Serena saw Jo today -”

“What's wrong, is she ok?” Alex’s voice mirrors the redhead’s earlier concern for her.

“She knows about Beth. She didn't take it very well, she's in a pretty bad way. Just had us drop her at Darby's.” Bernie reads the bar name off the sign. “I get the impression she intends to drink a lot.”

“I finish in an hour. I'll be straight down then. Keep watch until I get there.” Alex hangs up, worried for Jo. She never drank very much normally.

It's incredible how much alcohol one woman can put away in the space of just over an hour, even with Bernie and Serena sitting with her and giving her soft drinks and water in between.

“Come on, Jo. I really think you've had enough.” Serena tries to coax the glass from her friend's hand.

“I'm fine.” Jo knocks back another shot, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Same again.” She waves the bartender over.

Both of the other women see Alex come through the door and share “oh thank God” looks.

Jo has her back to the door and doesn't see her.  
“Gimme another.” She upturns her shot glass and slides it towards the barman. Fishing in her purse, she gives him her last note. “Would you look at that. All gone.” She shows Serena the inside of her empty purse. “That won't do, I'm going to the ATM for more.” She tries to slide off the seat but can't quite judge how far away the ground is.

Alex catches her before she falls. “Thank you.” Jo turns to smile at the kind stranger who came to her rescue. “Alex. What are you doing here? Did you call her?” Jo looks at the traitors to either side of her with a murderous look. “Let go of me.” She tugs out of the brunette’s grasp and rather shakily heads for the door.

“Jo, come on. I'm taking you home.” Alex tries to lead her to her car.

“I'm not going anywhere with you. You don't get to swoop in and save the day anymore. I mean nothing to you so just leave me alone.” Jo walks away from her, ignoring the tears streaking her face.

“That's not true and you know it. You mean everything to me.” Alex calls after her.

“Save it for Beth, Alex.” Jo stumbles and Alex rushes to help her up.

“Why are you doing this? Alright, so Bernie and Serena called you because I'm a bit drunk. You didn't have to come. I'm not your responsibility, Alex.” Jo swipes angrily at her tears.

“Of course I had to come. I don't want anything to happen to you. I love you.” Alex cups the redhead’s face in her hands. “Don't you see? Jo, you are the only thing that makes any sense. I can't live without you.” 

“What about Beth?” Jo isn't sure her brain isn't playing tricks on her, she had drank a fair bit.

“We went for drinks a couple of times. She's very obviously still in love with her ex. I know how she feels.” Alex kisses her furiously then, holds on to her with all her strength. Bernie and Serena look on with matching smiles. “Christ, you taste like a brewery.” Alex laughs and turns them back to her car.

“Sorry.” Jo flushes. “I guess I don't usually drink that much.” Both giggle when she hiccups as a result.

“Thanks ladies, I'll take it from here.” Alex beams at Bernie and Serena before settling Jo into the passenger seat of her car.

“This is really happening, isn't it? I'm not going to wake up soon without you.” Jo grips Alex's hand to make sure she's there.

“Let's go home.” Alex gives her forehead a quick kiss and starts the engine.

She takes them to her house and lets them in. “Have you eaten?” Alex looks to the redhead who shakes her head.

“Do you want me to order something in? Pizza? Chinese?” Alex grabs the menus out of the usual drawer and passes them to Jo.

Jo puts in her order and Alex phones for delivery before heading into the kitchen to pour them both a glass of fruit juice. She heats up the plates and grabs the cutlery and brings everything through to the dining table.

Alex flicks on a few lights and puts something soothing on through the docking station, she watches Jo stand awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure where to put herself.

“Come here.” Alex draws her in to sit with her on the sofa. “I missed you.” She breathes in the other woman and clings to her. “I hope you don't mind but I'm never letting you go again.” Alex drops a kiss to her hair and squeezes her softly. Jo feels the brunette’s tears dropping on to her head. “Please don't ever leave me again.” She chokes out the plea.

“Never.” Jo reaches up to stroke the tears away. “I love you so much.” Tears soak both their faces as they realise through kisses that they're both crying now. “What about Lucie? I'm so sorry you thought I was choosing her over you, that wasn't my intention. I'm so sorry Alex.”

The brunette lifts Jo's hand to her mouth and kisses the inside of her wrist. “She can stay here until she feels up to going home. If I have to put up with her for a little while to keep you here, I will.”

“Thank you for being you.” Jo can't believe that she is being given another chance.

They eat and chat just like old times and arrange to spend their day off tomorrow moving Jo back in. When Jo tries to stifle a yawn a bit later, Alex leads them upstairs. They fall asleep wrapped up in each other and with smiles on their faces.

When she wakes up with a stretch the next morning, Jo is pleasantly surprised to be hangover free and delighted to see Alex asleep beside her.

“Alex.” She whispers into the brunette’s ear and starts to kiss her awake. “Alex.” She trails her hands over the curves now underneath her as she straddles Alex's hips. Sneaking her fingers beneath the brunette’s vest top, she tickles over Alex's stomach and upwards towards her breasts.

“Just where do you think you're going?” Alex opens one eye as she startles Jo by halting her progress with her hand enclosing Jo's.

“I could show you, if you like.” Jo smiles into a soft kiss and uses her free hand to tease inside Alex's shorts. As her fingers reach wiry curls, Alex arches her back and gasps at the touch.

Jo smiles and wriggles both hands free despite Alex's protests and lifts her own t-shirt off over her head, leaving her topless over the brunette.

Alex stares hungrily at the woman on top of her as she puts her hands to good use. She palms the redhead's breasts gently, reacquainting herself with how they feel against her skin. She feels like a wanderer who's been lost in the desert and Jo is her oasis. How could she ever have done this before and not fully understood how amazing it was? It's almost as if she sees Jo for the first time and never wants to stop looking. “You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” Alex’s voice holds so much wonder and her eyes so much love, that Jo thinks her heart might explode.

“Alex....” Jo sighs out when the brunette starts to kiss over her chest. “... I... oh!” She holds Alex to her as she feels her taking a nipple into the warmth of her mouth. Alex pushes them over so that she can be on top, lips never releasing Jo's flesh. “I've missed you.” Jo pulls her up to eye level and strips off her vest top so that she can feel her skin against her own again. “Make love to me, Alex.”

Slowly dragging Jo's shorts off, Alex intends to do just that. “Jo, I love you.” Alex takes to the task of touching and kissing every inch of the woman underneath her. 

She relishes every second, getting completely lost in the other woman. Never has she enjoyed anything more. All of Jo's moans and noises just spurred her on, she hisses slightly when Jo's nails dig into her ass, as she slips a hand in the back of her shorts.

“Sorry.” Jo loosens her grip and pulls off Alex's shorts so that they can be naked together. “Oh Alex, I love you.”

She loses control as Alex kisses and licks down to between her legs. All too aware that this way she will never last more than a few minutes, because it's been so long since Alex touched her, she drags the brunette back up her body and kisses her deeply.

Alex catches her off guard again when her hand glides between their bodies and gently enters her.

“Oh yes, Alex. That feels... uh.” Jo rolls her hips further into the brunette’s hand. “I love you. Oh God, I love you Alex Dawson.”

Jo wants to take Alex with her and snakes a hand down to mirror the brunette’s efforts on her. “Jo! Oh my Jo. I love you too.” Alex places a sloppy, perfect kiss to the redhead’s mouth as they rub and grind and work each other to completion. A light sweat glowing on their skin creates a sliding motion and both women are in synchronised bliss.

“I'm...are you?” Jo’s hips lose their rhythm as she gets close.

“Yes, me too.” Alex knows exactly what Jo is trying to say. “Cum, Jo. I'm with you.” Alex picks up the pace a little to push Jo over the edge.

“I love you.” The declaration leaves Jo in a rush as she holds Alex's gaze while she climaxes.

“I love you, Jo.’ Alex quickly joins her and they see each other through release.

Alex covers the redhead’s body with her own once they've both come down. Breathing mixed and heartbeats thudding together, they hold each other with huge, silly grins on their faces.

Jo focuses on the brunette’s weight fully on top of her, trying to remember the feeling always. She kisses Alex's bare shoulder and gives in to the emotions of the moment with a small shudder as tears fall unbidden.

“Jo?” Alex smoothed the hair back from the redhead’s face. “What is it?”

“I thought I'd lost you. Please tell me I haven't lost you.” She searches the brunette’s features, fearful that this was a one-off or an elaborate dream she'd be pulled from, back to a world without Alex.

“You could never lose me.” Alex vows and means it with every part of her. “I promise you. I'm not living another second of my life without you.” Alex kisses away the redhead’s tears. “If you'll have me.” She looks a little unsure of Jo's answer.

“Oh, I'm going to have you alright.” Jo flashes a wicked smile and flips a stunned Alex on to her back and they both dissolve in fits of giggles.


	34. Chapter 34

“Do you want kids?” Alex lies on her back with Jo in the crook of her shoulder, lightly caressing the skin of her upper arm. They had spent quite a while that morning getting to know each other’s bodies again and were now lying naked and spent.

“Hm?” Jo tilts up her chin to kiss behind Alex's ear, drawing a smile from the brunette.

“It's just something Beth said about why she split up with her ex. I guess I just got to thinking. I want to have children with you.” Alex gives Jo's crown a quick kiss. “Is that...is that something you would like too?”

“What's brought all this on, feeling broody? Jo teases.

“I'm serious.” Alex’s face falls.

“I know, I didn't mean to tease. It's definitely something that I want.” Jo sits up to look at the brunette. “With you. I can think of nothing better than little Alexes running around.” She rubs the tip of her nose with the brunette’s.

“Or Jo's.’ Alex counters with a grin. “All that red hair and big green eyes. Cute as a button nose.” Alex bops the end of Jo's nose with her finger for effect. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Jo strokes the brunette's face with her fingertips and draws her in for a deep kiss.

Jo’s stomach grumbles loudly to interrupt them and both laugh.

“I'll make us some breakfast.” Alex slides out from underneath the covers and throws her pyjamas back on.

Jo nestles further under the duvet and brushes her hand over the warmth of where the brunette's body still lingers on the sheets beside her. She couldn't stop smiling. 

Alex whips up some french toast with bacon and pours two glasses of apple juice and a coffee for herself, before placing it all on a tray to take back upstairs. It's then that something catches her eye, on the floor by the window, glittering in the sunlight. Bending over to pick it up, she places it in her palm and just stares at it: Jo's engagement ring. She vaguely remembers throwing it in temper the day Jo had given it back but she'd forgotten to ever look for it again. Wrapping her fist around it, she takes it over to place on the tray and carries everything up to their bedroom.

Jo is drifting in and out of sleep when she gently places the tray on the bedside table on Jo’s side. Lifting the ring, she slips in back onto Jo's finger – it's rightful place, she likes to think – and kisses the back of her hand.

The gesture wakes Jo from a light slumber. “Hey, what are you up to?” Jo brings her hand up to Alex's cheek with a sleepy smile. It's then she sees the ring back on her finger, looking between it and Alex in surprise.

“Just putting this where it belongs.” Alex runs her thumb over the ring. “I hope that's ok.” She watches Jo, suddenly uncertain.

“It's more than ok.” Jo beams at the brunette. “Come back to bed and I'll show you how much.” She kisses Alex's neck and throat softly, pulling her down on top of her.

“Let's eat breakfast and go and get your stuff. I want you home again and then we can talk wedding plans.” Alex drags herself away from the redhead’s mouth and smiles at the pout on Jo's face. “We have all the time in the world for that later, future Mrs Dawson.” Alex kisses away the pout.

“Hmmm, I like the sound of that.” Jo lets Alex grab the breakfast things and they tuck in before jumping in the shower to go pick up Lucie and bring everything back with them.

Back at the hospital, Bernie was starting to feel like she was drowning in paperwork. Huffing out another sigh she glanced at the clock. Serena should be out of theatre soon and maybe they could head for lunch. She shifts her gaze to the door when she hears someone knocking. “Come in.” Anything to distract from the bureaucracy.

“Ms Wolfe.” She sees Dr Collins, resident psychiatrist push into the room.

“Dr Collins, how can I help you?” Bernie smiles at the other woman.

“We have a problem with a patient discharged a number of weeks ago. Lucie Jackson.” Bernie's ears prick up at the name and the hairs on the back of her neck stand to attention.

“What sort of problem?” She tries to keep the tremor out of her voice.

“I'm afraid the address she gave on discharge was false and she hasn't been attending the therapy we agreed to. Her therapist has just called to inform me that he has received the notes from her previous sectioning.” Dr Collins explains.

“She was sectioned, there was nothing in her paperwork.” Bernie feels the panic raise.

“Yes it appears she gave them another name at the time. A Ms Joanna Phillips. Only now I see that was the name of the woman listed as her next of kin.”

“Jo.” Bernie's entire body drains of colour. “Do we know what she was committed for?”

“She had a major depressive episode following her father's health decline when her mother passed away.” Dr Collins reads from the updated notes in her hands. “It's also noted that she became fixated on a woman named Lucie Jackson, who'd she had a ten year relationship with previously, and she considered her the only source of love in her life. Given that she gave her real name, I'd say this Joanna Phillips is the woman she spoke of in therapy. She discharged herself from the facility against medical advice in December of last year. She was never officially diagnosed with any condition.”

“That's when she showed up at Albies, looking for Jo.” Bernie fits all the puzzle pieces together and they don't give a pretty picture.

“You know this Jo? Is she Joanna Phillips?” Dr Collins asks.

Bernie nods wordlessly.

“Do you know where she is now? Considering Ms Jackson’s pseudo suicide attempt, I'd say her behaviour indicates a decline in her reasoning. She will seek this Ms Philips out and she may not be safe.”

“She didn't overdose?” Bernie’s head snaps up to look at the psychiatrist. “I should have been informed. You signed her off to go home with Jo!!”

“None of the information Ms Jackson gave indicated that she'd had any contact with this Jo in years.”

“What would happen if Lucie found out that Jo is with someone else?” Bernie knows she and Alex would have to tell Lucie about their reconciliation. “She pulled her little stunt at the engagement party and Jo broke it off, but if Jo were to get back together with her fiancée...?”

“I'd say Lucie would unravel fairly quickly given the timing and severity of her deception, she wouldn't take the news well.”

Serena hears the voices as she comes back into the office. “Everything alright?” She looks between Bernie and the psychiatrist.

“Lucie faked her suicide attempt and Jo is in danger. You've been to her house Serena, you need to take me there now.” Bernie grabs her mobile and hopes they won't be too late.

“The police have been called. It's best to leave it to them.” Dr Collins informs the pair.

“I'm going.” Bernie looks to Serena who nods.

They rush down to Bernie's car and Serena puts Jo's address into the sat nav. Bernie dials Alex's number through Bluetooth.

“Hey Bern! How's it going?” Alex picks up quickly. 

“Alex, am I on speaker right now?” Bernie fires off the question.

“No...” Alex sounds confused. “What's going on?”

“Are you with Jo?” Bernie takes the turn indicated.

“Yeah we're at hers picking up Lucie.” Bernie hisses out an expletive.

“Don't react to what I'm about to say Alex, got it? Lucie cannot know I've told you, ok?” 

“Sure.” Alex knows this is bad.

“She faked the overdose. She wants Jo and she is dangerous. Alex take Jo and get out of there now!” Bernie practically screams down the line. “Can you do that safely Alex?”

“Em, I don't think I can make it to that right now, Bern. I'll call you back.” Alex tries to tell her friend that they were in trouble without tipping off Lucie and hangs up.

“Alex? Alex? Damn it, I think Lucie might suspect something.” Bernie slams the steering wheel in temper.

“Who was that, Dr Dawson?” Lucie looks at Alex trying to read the brunette’s expression.

“Oh nobody, just a friend.” Alex blags. “Hey, Jo could you do me a favour? Bernie says that Serena’s car broke down and she's stuck in theatre. Will you take my car and drive her home? Bernie isn't sure how long she'll be.” Alex hands over her keys and guides the redhead away from Lucie towards the kitchen door.

“Aren't you coming?” Jo's brow furrows puzzled.

“I can just stay here and wait for you. Start getting everything together to take home, for when you get back.” Alex doesn't care about herself, she just wants Jo out. Maybe Lucie would be none the wiser if she stayed and pretended to wait for Jo until help arrived.

“No one's going anywhere.” Lucie snaps then and grabs hold of Jo. “Least of all you Jo-Jo.” She lifts a knife out of the block and holds it to the redhead’s throat.

“No, Lucie. Put it down. We both know you don't want to hurt Jo.” Alex tries to stay calm.

“What's going on, Alex?” Jo is absolutely terrified, her eyes filled with panic and all Alex can do is watch helpless.

“Yes Alex. Why don't you enlighten us all as to what your little phone call was really about? Tell Jo what's going on.” Lucie's eyes are wide and she is clearly spiralling out of control.

“Put the knife down and we can talk about this.” Alex pleads with Lucie.

“There's nothing to talk about. She's mine and you took her from me!” Lucie screams, spittle flying from her mouth like a crazed animal. “Don't you see, I did all this for her and then she just takes you back?”

“Did all what for me?” Jo tries to keep Lucie talking, hoping someone would come.

“I came back here to be with you Jo. Tried everything, even had you convinced she'd decked me that night at the bar.” She strokes the side of Jo's face with her free hand, tucking red hair behind her ear. Jo tries not to flinch at the touch, as tears soak her face. “I almost had you again, that night wonder woman here threw herself in front of that car. She made it too easy, did me a favour, but she couldn't do the decent thing and just die. I could have comforted you, we could have been together again. Then you just had to get engaged. Well, that was the last straw, I knew I had to come up with something big.”

“What are you saying?” Jo sobs out.

“You didn't really think I'd try to kill myself.” Lucie's words sink in and Jo fills bile rise. “You wanna know the best bit?” Lucie's breath on her neck makes Jo feel faint. “You gave her up so easily. Your doting doctor. I could hardly believe my luck.”

Bernie and Serena pull up to Jo's house, not a police car in sight. “Stay in the car.” Bernie makes no room for argument.

“Bernie no.” Serena grabs on to her.

“I'm going in and no matter what, you are to stay away from that house. Do you hear me?” Bernie kisses her deeply. “Promise me.”

Serena reluctantly nods her head. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now, call the police and see what the bloody hold up is.” Bernie tries to joke as Serena clings to her. She gently pulls free and walks up to the front door.

“So now that you're all loved up again, where does that leave me?” Lucie looks between the couple.

“Jo still has feelings for you. Why do you think we argued and broke up over you coming to stay with us? I was jealous.” Alex tries to fuel Lucie's delusion of hope for a relationship with the redhead. “I can't compete with ten years.”

Jo realises what Alex is doing and starts to play along. “She's right Luce, I mean we were good together. It's never been like that with anyone since you.” Jo reaches up to cover the hand resting on her shoulder with her own.

“Well, I guess there's one way to be rid of her once and for all. Prove you still love me. She took you from me.” Lucie moves the knife to point it at Alex.

Alex sees the chance and nods to Jo. Now was the time to move with the knife away from Jo's throat.

Lucie pushes Jo off to the side in front of her and the redhead falls. “Now it's time I took her from you.” Lucie meets Jo's eyes and then runs for Alex.

For a split second relief floods Alex as she sees Jo out of danger but then she registers that Lucie is charging at her and she braces for a fight.

“NOOO!!” Jo pushes to her feet and runs to Alex, facing Lucie head on shielding Alex's body with her own.

Bernie hears the scream and figures that was her cue to get inside. She takes a few steps back and rushes the front door shoulder first, bursting through on the first go. She runs to the kitchen to see the three women frozen.

Something slips from Lucie's grasps then and Bernie see the blade of the knife covered with blood.

“It wasn't meant to be her.” Lucie drops to her knees.

Jo is pressed tight against Alex as Bernie tries to work out whose blood was on the knife. Lucie and Alex look fine, her eyes track to the redhead.

Jo turns to face Alex, hands clutched over her front. She lifts them away to reveal her own blood coating her fingers. “Alex.” She staggers and Alex catches her.

“No no no no no no.” Alex lies her down and applies pressure to the wound. “Please Jo.”

“I love you.” Jo looks up at her fiancée and presses her palm to the brunette’s cheek, much as she had that morning when Alex gave her back the ring she was now wearing. “I'm sorry."

“No. Look at me Jo. Keep your eyes open. Just keep looking at me. Stay awake Jo, come on. Bernie!” Alex calls her friend over, she'd be able to do something.

Bernie finishes calling the ambulance as police sirens wail in the background. Pulling off her jacket she presses it to the wound, hoping it will stem the blood loss and give them enough time. “Keep talking to her Alex, she needs to stay conscious.”

“That's it Jo. You're doing great. The ambulance is almost here. Just focus on me.” Alex grips her hand and kisses the palm. “Stay with me Jo. Please.” Alex's tears drop onto the redhead’s face.

“We're even now.” Jo smiles up at her. “You saved me and I saved you, eh? Don't cry Alex. It's ok, you're going to be ok.”

“So are you. My Jo, my beautiful Jo. I love you. ” Alex kisses her face.

“That's all I needed to hear.” Jo's hand goes limp in Alex's and her eyes slip closed as she loses consciousness.


	35. Chapter 35

The police arrived just before the paramedics and detained Lucie, processing the scene for evidence.  
When the paramedics rolled Jo out on the stretcher, Serena jumped out of the car. “What happened? Jo?” She looks between Bernie and Alex.

“She stabbed her. I'll fucking kill her!!” Alex rushes over to where Lucie was being questioned by an officer. “Do you know what you’ve done?!” Bernie reaches the brunette before she rounds on Lucie.

“Alex, no. This isn't the way. You need to stay with Jo. She isn't worth it.” Bernie tightens her grip when Alex makes another lunge at Lucie. “Please Alex. Come back to the ambulance and stay with Jo. She needs you.”

Alex sags then as the weight of everything settles on top of her. “She has to be ok. I can't lose her.” Bernie half carries the brunette back to the ambulance.

One of the paramedics catches Bernie's eye and solemnly shakes his head.

“What does that mean? Why is he shaking his head? Jo! No please, you can save her. You have to.” Alex's legs give out and Bernie holds on to her, while Serena silently cries behind them. Neither woman would ever forget the noise that escapes Alex as she cries for the redhead.

“We need to stop if we're all in agreement.” The paramedic looks at everyone around him.

“No! You don't stop, keep trying.” Alex hardens then and her eyes dare anyone to challenge her.

“Alex...” Bernie tries to pull her away, she didn't need to be here for this.

“Tell them! Bernie, they don't stop until her heart starts again. Please.” Alex pleads with her friend.

“It's not my call.” Bernie feels useless.

The paramedics are still working on Jo, waiting for confirmation to stop. “We'll keep trying.” The guy who had requested the stop calls out and nods at Alex. “Charge to 200.... and clear.” 

Alex wills the monitor to show a reading. “Come on Jo.” She whispers, sending every ounce of strength in her to aid the redhead.

Every breath in the place is held until the faintest blip flashes across the screen. And then another. And then another.

“We have a rhythm. Equal breath sounds to both sides.” The paramedic confirms. “Anyone who's coming get in. We need to get her to Holby now.”

Alex flies inside the ambulance, with barely time for the doors to shut before they're tearing through the streets towards the hospital.

“Serena, let's get to the hospital.” Bernie turns and rushes with the brunette to her car.

“How bad was the wound?” Serena asks as they hurtle along behind the ambulance.

“About 4 inches, close to the liver but I think it managed to miss any organs.” Bernie turns briefly to look at her partner. “Blood loss and oxygen deprivation are our main concern.”

“How long was she down?” Serena has to ask.

“Long enough.” Bernie replies crestfallen.

They paramedics rush Jo into the lift and towards Keller theatres with Alex holding her hand. “Keller, Ric Griffin.” She shouts to Bernie and Serena who catch the information before the doors close. Both women run to the stairwell and all the way to Keller.

Alex is striding purposefully beside the paramedics as they handover to Ric, who was already making his way to scrub in.

“I'll be right here when you wake up.” Alex kisses Jo's forehead quickly as they roll her away to theatre.

Bernie and Serena place an arm each round her and lead her to sit while they start the agonising wait for Jo to come out of surgery.

“I need to ring Jo's family.” Alex breaks then, how was she going to tell them?

“Give me the details, I'll get Essie to make the calls.” Serena knew Alex wasn't up to it and this way she could stay here and wait for Jo.

Alex brings up the contact on her phone and passes it to Serena. “Thanks.” She mumbles.

“She'll be ok, right Bern?” Alex looks up from between her knees, hands clamped behind her head, to look at her friend.

“They'll do everything they can.” Bernie rattles off.

“Bullshit! Don't give me some platitude we tell every family. Is she going to make it through this?” Alex fixes the blonde with a steely glare.

“I honestly don't know, Alex. She lost a lot of blood, granted the paramedics managed to stem that. She was without oxygen for at least several minutes. I can't give you any certainties, she needs to wake up before we really know anything.” Bernie tried to give it to her as gently as possible.

“How did she do this when it was me? She must have been worried sick.” Alex thinks back to her accident. "She's a lot stronger than me.” Alex sobs into her hands.

“She was strong because she had to be and I know you can do the same for her. If ever she had anything to fight for, it's coming back to you in one piece.” Bernie hugs the brunette and kisses her temple. “You're both fighters and you love each other so much, I think that counts for something.”

Serena comes back with three strong, sugary teas balancing precariously in her hands. “Essie says they're on their way.” Bernie stands to help her with the cups.

“Here, Alex. Try to drink this.” Serena passes over the tea. “Do you think you could manage to eat anything?”

Alex shakes her head as she attempts to sip at the tea to placate the couple.

“When you're done with that, why don't you use the showers and grab some fresh scrubs?” Serena notes that Alex is still covered in Jo’s dried blood.

“I want to be here if there's any news.” Alex shrugs off the idea.

“It might take a while. If anything happens we'll come and get you.” Bernie offers.

“I'm not leaving her when she needs me most!” Alex snaps.

“You're not leaving her, you'll be seconds away when Jo needs you. Come on, the sooner we go, the sooner we'll be back. It won't help you or Jo's family to have you in this state.” Bernie softly reasons with her and Alex relents. “I'll go with her.” She squeezes Serena's hand and follows Alex to the locker room.

Bernie lifts a new set of scrubs off the shelf and leaves them with a towel just outside the shower. She takes a seat at the bench, back to Alex. “I'm so sorry, Al. I came as soon as I found out but if I'd gotten inside faster...”

“Bernie, don't do this to yourself. No one's to blame except Lucie. This is not James Fielding all over again.”

Bernie turns to look at the brunette in shock.

“We both know you're thinking it. I was there and no one could have stopped her. I only wish she'd gotten to me first and not Jo.” Alex quickly strips and steps into the cubicle and lets the warm water clear her head a bit. Not wanting to take too long, she washes quickly and gets back out.

“You two have something pretty awesome, you know? Someone who would do that to save the person they love. We all like to think we have it but you two prove it.” Bernie smiles a sad sort of smile.

“You and Serena are the same. It's not as rare as you think.” Alex slides the scrub top over her head and steps back into her sneakers, bending to quickly tie the laces.

“Ready to head back?” Bernie links elbows with her friend. “I really am sorry.”

“She's gonna come back to me, Bern. She has to.” Alex says with utter conviction.

Serena turns to see them walking back towards her.  
“Nothing yet. Jo's family are in the relatives room.” She nods to the door. “We can come in with you.”

“It's ok, I'll talk to them. Come and get me if she comes out.” Alex sighs before pushing down on the handle. This was not the next time she wanted to see Jo's family, it should have been at their wedding...

Bernie and Serena wait outside, fingers laced together and praying for their friends.

Alex comes out a little while later looking ashen and completely heartbroken. “They hate me.” She slumps into the chair between the pair. “Jo's Mum's exact words were ‘how could you let this happen? And ‘I wish my daughter had never met you.’ She's right.” Alex shakes with sobs.

“They're hurt and worried for Jo. This is not your fault, Alex.” Serena comforts her while Bernie holds her.

“I promised to always protect her. I'm supposed to keep her safe and look where she is.” Alex rubs her eyes in frustration.

“Lucie did this, she isn't well and this could have happened at any time. At least Jo knows you were there, that you did everything you could and that you love her.” Bernie runs her hand up and down Alex's arm to soothe her.

Ric pushes through the doors from theatre then, taking off his scrub cap.

“Is she...? Wait, I'll get her family.” Alex calls them out of the relatives room. They all stand waiting for news.

“There was no organ damage, we replaced all the blood she lost and were able to patch her up nicely. Her vitals are all looking fine considering. A few broken ribs from the force of the defibrillator to restart her heart but she's just coming round and asking for you.” He grips Alex's shoulder and that must have been the only thing holding her up, because when he steps away she collapses. All of the pent up emotion forces out a wave of unstoppable tears as her body shudders and shakes while she weeps.


	36. Chapter 36

Alex did the respectful thing and let Jo's family see her first. The brunette stood guard outside Jo's side room door, as long as she could catch a glimpse of Jo through the glass in the door she was content that she was safe. Pacing back and forth, she keeps a watchful eye on the woman she loves and thanks all of her lucky stars that Jo had made it.

Bernie came by after a little while and was just heading into the room with the teas and coffees etc. for everyone, when Jo's Mum's voice rang out loud and clear through the open door.

“You are not marrying that Alex woman after this!”

Bernie caught Alex's eye and saw the exact moment the brunette’s heart sank, with tears in her eyes, Jo could only watch as she fled.

“Alex!” Jo sat up to call out for her, but had to sink back down when the pain shot through her. “Are you happy now, Mum? I will never forgive you for this.”

“Joanna, see sense for heaven's sake!”

“Mrs Phillips, I hardly think now is the time.” Bernie fixed the woman with her hardest Major Wolfe glare.

“She almost got my daughter killed -”

“Mrs Phillips, a word if I may. In private.” Bernie holds the door open for her.

“I'm not leaving my daughter.” The older woman stiffens and refuses to budge.

“Alright, here it is then.” Bernie folds her arms over her chest and prepares for battle. “Apart from the fact that Jo is only hours out of major surgery and has barely had time to come round before you see fit to unnecessarily cause her undue stress -”

“How dare you!”

“I'm not finished.” Bernie moves further into the room. “I appreciate your concern for your daughter, of course it's only natural. No one feels worse about what happened than Alex, she doesn't deserve you piling on more guilt. She adores Jo and I can promise you that the very last thing she would ever want is any harm to come to her. It was only months ago that she risked her own life to save Jo. She would rather die than have anyone hurt her. Almost did, in fact, die that night. As for what happened today. Lucie did this, not Alex. I'm fairly certain that Lucie would have done this at some point anyway when Jo inevitably rejected her. The difference is that she might not have had Alex with her then. No one would have been there while Jo bled to death as Lucie just watched. As it was, Alex knew instantly what to do and very well gave Jo back the seconds it would have taken for her to die otherwise. She made the paramedics keep working on Jo when her heart stopped. She refused to let them stop when Jo was to all intents and purposes gone. Not to mention the fact that even though she probably knew you would blame her, she faced you all because she thought you deserved to hear about Jo from her and not some stranger. You said some untenably cruel things and she took them with a damn sight more grace and dignity than you have shown. She gave up the opportunity to sit with Jo first so that you could see her because she felt it was the right thing to do and she always puts everyone else before herself. But ignoring all that, Mrs Phillips, your daughter did one of the bravest things imaginable because she loves ‘that Alex woman’ and that's what matters here.” Bernie turns and walks back out of the room, leaving Mrs Phillips speechless and shamefaced.

“Jo, I...I'm sorry.” She at least has the decency to look contrite.

“It's not me you should apologise to.” Jo taps the bed next to her and her mother sits down and hugs her gently. “I know you were scared and upset but this isn't Alex's fault.”

“I know that really. I am sorry.” Jo's Mum lets a few tears fall for almost losing her daughter. “Let me just go and find Alex for you. She hasn't even seen you yet, poor thing.” She kisses her daughter's cheek and heads out to look for the brunette.

Serena chases a distraught Alex until she ends up on the roof of the hospital.

“Alex?” She comes up slowly behind her and places a hand on the space between her shoulder blades, rubbing softly. “Why don't we head back inside, it's getting cold and I'm sure Jo wants to see you.”

“I'm sure she doesn't.” Alex shrugs off Serena's hand. “I did this to her.”

“No. You didn't. Lucie did this.” Serena stands firm.

“That's not what her Mum thinks. She doesn't wants Jo to have anything more to do with me.” Alex lets the tears track down her face.

“She won't have meant it, she could have lost Jo. I know she said some things she shouldn’t have but she'll calm down, you'll see.” Serena steers Alex back inside. 

“Hey.” Bernie greets them back on Keller. “Jo's Mum is looking for you.” She directs this at Alex.

“I don't want to see her.” Alex replies.

Serena offers to go see if the coast is clear and strides towards Jo's room. “Jo?”

“Hi Serena. You remember my Dad and my brothers. Tim and David.” Jo waves at the others in the room. “Where's Alex?” Jo looks up at her friend with big, hopeful eyes. 

“She's outside with Bernie.” Serena tells her.

“I haven't seen her yet, I want to see her. Can't you ask her to come see me?” Jo looks upset. “I just want to see her.” Jo makes efforts to get out of the bed.

“No, Jo you can't move too much or you could pull your stitches out.” Serena tries to shift her to lie back down. “You need to stay calm and try to rest.”

“I want Alex. Just tell her I want her.” Jo starts to get distressed then and her pulse sky rockets as the monitor starts to beep.

Hearing the noise from the corridor, Alex sprints to the door with Bernie close behind. “Jo? What happened?” Alex asks breathlessly.

“She's ok, we just need to keep her calm.” Serena explains.

“Alex.” Jo looks to her fiancée petrified.

“It's ok. You're ok. Relax Jo, I'm here.” Alex sits with the redhead and makes her focus on her. “That's it, you're fine.” Alex gently strokes her hair and rests their foreheads together. “Shhh, you're alright. It's all alright. I'm here.”

With Alex's delicate reassurance, Jo's numbers start to return to normal and she gets her to lie back and relax. When she seems calmer, Alex moves off to give her some space.

“No! Where are you going? Don't leave me.” Jo panics again.

“I'm not leaving, I'll never leave you. Rest now, my love. I promise I'll stay with you.” Alex drags a chair up to Jo's bedside and holds her hand.

The rest of Jo's family decide to go home and let her sleep. Jo's Mum comes back in to say her goodbyes and the sight of her daughter with Alex makes her smile. She couldn't deny the obvious love between the couple.

“I'm sorry for how I acted, the things I said.” She bends to hug Alex. “Not that I need to ask but look after her.” She blows Jo a kiss and waves to them before she goes.

“Will you still be here when I wake up?” Jo brushes the back of her fingers over the brunette’s cheek.

“Always.” She takes Jo's hand and kisses it, before dropping their joined hands to the bed and running her thumb over the back of Jo's hand until she falls asleep.

Ric comes by to check on Jo, who stirs a little as he makes some notes in her chart. “I've arranged for the on call room to be left free for a couple of hours. Why don't you get some rest, I'll make sure someone wakes you if she asks for you?” He whispers to Alex as he checks Jo's IV.

“Thanks but I promised her I'd stay.” Alex smiles at him and nods as he heads to do the rest of his rounds.

Bernie and Serena come in quietly then to see how Jo is.

“You guys should go home. I'll call you if there's any need to come back in.” Alex sees that her friends look exhausted and is just thankful she can't see how terrible she looks.

“Do you want us to bring you anything? We'll check back in on her in the morning.” Bernie can't help slipping into doctor mode and flips through Jo's notes. “The police came to take mine and Serena’s statements, but I asked them to let Jo get a bit more rest before they speak to you both. That might be back tomorrow.”

“Ok thanks, I might get a quick run home to grab some things when Jo wakes up.”

Both women hug Alex and kiss her goodbye before walking back to Bernie’s car.

“They've really been through it, haven't they?” Serena heaves out a weary sigh as she settles in the passenger seat.

“More than most, that's for sure. I really didn't think Jo would make it.” Bernie runs her hands over her face exhausted. “There was me telling you not long ago that Lucie wasn't dangerous...”

“No you don't, Berenice Wolfe. No one could have known she'd do what she did.” Serena rests her hands either side of Bernie's head and looks her straight in the eye. “It's not your fault.”

“I love you, Serena and I would do anything to protect you. I need you to know that.” Bernie leans in and kisses her softly.

“I know, sweetheart. I love you and I would do anything for you too.” Serena smiles her dazzling smile and Bernie knows this is it for her. “Let's go home and get some rest. Jason will be long asleep I'm sure.”

The drive back is quiet, as each woman reflects on the events of the day, the only sounds are the hum of the traffic outside and the low music coming from the radio.

“Home sweet home.” Serena looks up at the house and longs for bed. “Are you hungry? I suppose we haven't eaten since breakfast.” Although the thought of having to make and eat anything is not appealing at all.

“No, I think I just need to sleep.” Bernie shuts off the engine. “You go open up and I'll grab our stuff.” Bernie shifts in her seat to start lifting bags and coats to hand Serena her house keys.

Serena doesn't argue with her, takes the proffered keys and trudges to the door, opening it and disappearing inside.

Bernie takes a quick look to make sure Serena is out of sight before fishing something out of the glovebox. She had bought it recently and had been working up the courage to give it to the brunette. With everything that had happened today, she was certain that she wanted to do it sooner rather than later. She opens the lid of the box to look at the contents, steeling her reserve and cementing the decision in her mind. The ring box snaps shut and Bernie slips it into her pocket for safe keeping, before she follows Serena inside.


	37. Chapter 37

Alex wakes slowly, as she feels gentle fingers stroking through her hair. Raising her head from its resting place on top of her folded arms, she blinks a few times to clear her vision. Jo's gorgeous smile greets her and she can't help but return it.

“Morning.” Alex rubs the sleep from her eyes. “How are you feeling?” She stretches to sit up straighter in the chair with a huge yawn.

“Sore.” Jo answers truthfully.

“Let me see if I can get one of the doctors, maybe they could increase your dose.” Alex tries to stand on very shaky legs, she had spent most of the night bent at the waist sleeping on the edge of Jo's bed. “I'll be right back.” She kisses Jo tenderly and heads for the door.

“Alex...” Jo looks up to catch the brunette’s eye as she spins at the sound of her name.

“Yeah.”

“I'm sorry for how my family were with you. My Mum especially, she just -” Jo's head drops in shame as she fidgets nervously with her hands. Alex can see she's on the verge of tears.

“It's ok Jo. She's apologised and I know she was just worried about you.” Alex steps back to Jo's bedside and grabs both of her trembling hands in one of her own. “Thank you for saving me.” Alex rests her forehead against the redhead’s temple and kisses the side of Jo's face. “But please don't ever do anything like that again. I couldn't bear to live without you.” She clings to the other woman and struggles to hold it together.

“I didn't mean to...I just couldn't let her.... She could have killed you. I wasn't going to let that happen.” Jo leans away slightly to look into Alex's eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” A single tear escapes from Alex's eye and tracks down her cheek to drop on to the covers. They cling to each other for a while longer before Alex heads off in search of pain relief for Jo.

“Hi Sacha, Jo is in a fair bit of pain. Could you take a look at her meds when you get a sec?” Alex corners the consultant as he comes out of his office.

“Sure thing. How is she? I'm so sorry about what happened.” He rests a reassuring hand on the brunette’s shoulder for a moment.

“She's doing fine, I guess. She seems ok.” Alex walks with Sacha back to Jo's room.

“And how are you holding up?” The consultant asks with kind eyes.

“I...” Alex falters then as the truth of what could have happened to her fiancée hits her full force. She looks at Sacha, eyes full of unshed tears. “Oh God.” Alex crumbles in front of the man.

“Hey, come on Alex.” Sacha guides her over to a seat. “When was the last time you had anything to eat or drink? Have you slept at all?”

“I couldn't leave her.” Alex sobs into her hands.

“Listen. Why don't I get someone to run down and get you something from Pulses? And then put your head down in the on call room for a few hours. I'll let Jo know you're still here if she needs you. It's no good for either of you if you're exhausted.” Sacha offers kindly.

“I need to stay with Jo.” Alex tries to argue.

“I'm sure her family will be in soon and I promise to keep an eye on her for you.” Sacha tries to convince the brunette.

“I suppose Bernie and Serena will sit with her for a while. They said they'd be back this morning.” Alex starts to relent, too shattered to put up much of a fight.

“Let's take a look at Jo’s pain meds first and put it to her. I imagine she'll want you to get some rest.” Sacha leads the way into Jo's room.

“Well, Jo how are you doing this morning? Alex here says you still have some pain.” Sacha smiles at the redhead as he studies her chart.

“Hey Sacha. Yes I'm just a bit sore, not too bad.” Jo tries to put on a brave face but her colour and complexion belie her words.

“Hmm.” Sacha hums in disbelief. “I'm just going to take your temperature and check you over, ok Jo?”

Sacha wipes his hands with the antiseptic pump by Jo's bed, before he gently removes the dressing over Jo's wound and sees that it is red and swollen, with a slight ooze. “Tell me if you feel any pain when I press on the area.” Sacha’s hands hardly make contact before Jo cries out. “Ok, let's do the temperature now.” Sacha grabs a thermometer from outside, twisting the gauge into place and inserting it into Jo's ear. “This is quite high. I think we might be looking at an infection. I'm going to get some antibiotics and another 10mgs of morphine set up in your IV and we'll up obs to every 30 minutes. There's nothing to worry about, this can happen after abdominal surgery.” Sacha reapplies a dressing and then scribbles his notes on to Jo's chart and asks a nurse to administer the new meds straight away.

Alex asks to speak with Sacha outside for a minute. “Is she ok?” She asks as soon as they're out of earshot.

“My main concern would be making sure this doesn't develop into sepsis.” Sacha explains. “I think we've caught it early enough but I want to watch her closely just in case. We'll get some fluids into her IV too to avoid dehydration.”

The pair are interrupted by a uniformed police officer and a woman Alex assumed must be a plain clothes detective.

“Excuse me, are you Alexandra Dawson?” The detective introduces herself as DCI Winters and the other officer as PC Collins. “We'd like to ask you a few questions about the attack on yourself and Ms Phillips if you have a moment.”

“Dr Dawson has been sitting with Ms Phillips all night and is really not fit for questioning just now. Would it be too much trouble to give her the chance to eat and drink before interviewing her?” Sacha steps in.

“And you are?” The detective eyes the consultant.

“Mr Sacha Levy. I am one of the consultants looking after Ms Phillips and Dr Dawson is a colleague on occasion.” Sacha shakes the detective’s hand.

“Is Ms Phillips available for a statement?” DCI Winters replies curtly.

“I'm afraid not. She's developed an infection and we’re just in the process of treating it. She needs rest for at least 48 hours.” Sacha smiles apologetically.

“Alright, Dr Dawson would you mind if we waited for you to get some sustenance before taking your statement? It's mostly a formality since we have a full confession from Ms Jackson, but I'd prefer to get this dealt with sooner rather than later. The longer after the incident a statement is taken, the hazier the details. I understand how difficult this is and I'm sorry to intrude.” The detective gives Alex a warm smile.

“I'll just go and grab something quick from downstairs and head straight back up.” Alex nods to both officers and makes her way down to Pulses.

“Hello stranger.” Beth catches Alex on the way. “Another locum shift is it?” She smiles at the brunette.

Alex shakes her head and tries to answer but no words come out.

“Is everything alright, Alex?” Beth looks worried as she rubs her hand gently over the brunette’s back. “Come on, let's sit down for a sec and you can tell me what's happened.”

“It's Jo, she...she...” Alex can't finish the thought through tears.

“Jo was your fiancée, right?” Beth tries to start gently.

“We got back together.” Alex confirms.

“Oh that's great!” Beth seems genuine.

“Her ex stabbed her and now she's got an infection in the wound and she almost died.” Alex lets it all pour out.

“I'm so sorry. She's ok though?” Beth grips Alex's hand.

“I don't know. And now the police are here and I can't face them.” Alex sniffles and rubs at her eyes.

“Well can't they wait until you're feeling up to it?” Beth enquires.

“I ran down here to try and eat something before I speak to them. They won't be able to speak to Jo for a few days when she's feeling stronger.” Alex gives Beth a sad look.

“Then surely they could hang on and speak to you both then. They can't pressure you into giving a statement if you're not up to it.” Beth had come across her share of pushy police officers through work. “Do you want me to have a word? I do this sort of thing all the time.”

“Jo's doctor tried already but the best he could get was enough time for me to eat something.” Alex clarifies.

“Right, you go and get fed and I'll see what I can do. What ward are they on?” Beth looks to the brunette.

“Keller.” Alex tells the blonde.

“I'll leave you to it.” Beth heads up to the ward in question, putting in a quick phone call to her boss to get the go ahead. Nothing worse than meddling where they weren't permitted to raise her boss’ heckles. She strides purposefully on to Keller and straight up to the uniformed officer. “Excuse me, are you in charge of questioning Alex Dawson?” She fixes the man with her sternest expression.

“That would be me.” Detective Winters spins to face the blonde. “Beth.” The name leaves the woman as a pained sigh.

“Kate.” Beth’s heart stops in her chest as she comes face to face with her ex.

The pair just stare incredulously at each other until the PC clears his throat and breaks the spell.

“I'd like to request that you hold off on Alex's statement. She's not really up to it and it can wait until you're here to take Jo's surely.” Beth puts it to the detective.

“Close friend of yours, this Alex?” Kate can feel the jealousy coursing through her.

“Don't be ridiculous. Yes she's a friend and her fiancée almost died for God's sake Kate!” Beth's anger bubbles over.

“I'll ask you not to speak to me like that in front of witnesses Ms Cunningham.” Kate bites out.

“Fine.” Beth grabs her by the sleeve and drags her into the nearest unoccupied room, sliding the lock home, she spins to face the detective.

“Shall we add kidnapping a police officer to your list for today?” Kate's eyes blaze into the blonde.

“Shut up, Kate! You can wait for Alex's statement and you know it.” Beth points an accusatory finger at her ex. “When did you become such a heartless bitch?”

Beth’s words make something snap in the detective and she slams the blonde against the door behind her, crushing her lips in a searing kiss. Hands pinning Beth's arms above her head, she continues her onslaught of the blonde's mouth with her own. She nudges the blonde's ankles apart with her foot to spread her legs with no protest. “Keep them there.” She indicates Beth's arms and receives only a breathless nod, as she moves her hands to undo the blonde's belt and slips one hand inside Beth's underwear.

“Kate we can't -” Beth tries to feign objection but it dies on her lips as Kate's fingers seek her out. “Please don't stop.” She cries out as Kate makes her way inside her. “Oh my God.” She arches into the other woman’s hand as her vision blurs. How could she have forgotten how good this was?

Kate kisses her as she drives in and out of her. “Beth.” She whispers the blonde's name against her lips as she watches her come undone. “I love you.”

Those words push Beth into orgasm as she gasps and stares wide eyed at her ex, sobbing out her release and struggling to stay upright.

“I still love you.” Kate repeats as she removes her hand and holds the blonde to keep her standing, foreheads resting against each other as Beth fights to get her breath back.

“I can't do this.” Beth pushes Kate away as she fumbles to refasten her trousers.

“Beth.” Kate says her name like a plea this time.

“No.” Beth stands firms, hand outstretched to keep Kate at arm's length now, as she reaches behind her to unlock and open the door before dashing out.

“We can wait for Ms Dawson's statement.” Kate confirms with the uniformed officer, heartbroken as she watches her ex run away from her.


	38. Chapter 38

Beth doesn't even hear Alex calling out to her at first as she darts out of the lift, focused on getting to her car.

“Beth, wait. Beth slow down!” Alex catches up to her before she reaches the exit.

“Sorry Alex.” Beth tries to shake off what had just happened upstairs and hopes it doesn't show on her face.

“Did you get a chance to speak to the police?” Alex asks oblivious.

Beth lets out a low cry and tries to pull away from the brunette. “Alex please. I have to go.”

“Why? What's wrong?” Alex shows genuine concern for the clearly shaken blonde.

“Nothing. It's fine.” Beth lies.

Alex raises an eyebrow at the response, making it obvious she wasn't buying that.

“Seriously Alex. You don't need to worry about me right now ok?” Beth tries to leave.

“Listen, I was going to head back up to Jo. Would you like to meet her?” Alex asks. “You can tell me what's bothering you on the way.” She leads the blonde to the lift, ignoring her protests.

Alex stares at the blonde in the lift until she cracks.

“Kate is the detective on your case.” Beth begins.

“As in your ex?” Alex studies Beth as she nods and covers her face with her hands. “I guess it must have been tough seeing her again.” She tries to console her friend.

“We had words in a empty side room and I don't know how it happened....” Beth shakes her head at her own part in it all. “...I let her fuck me. How could I do that? We're both meant to be working. Jesus!” Beth says this all more to herself than Alex.

“Wow.” Alex can't think of a better response.

“Oh God, what have I done?” Beth starts to pace inside the lift.

“You clearly still love her.” Alex had always thought so.

“She says she loves me but it doesn't change anything, Alex. I want kids, she doesn't. It can never go anywhere.” Beth rubs at her forehead, willing her thoughts to make sense. “Sorry, don't worry about this. Did you get something to eat downstairs?” Beth snaps out of her own silly problem to focus on Alex's situation.

“Yeah thanks. It helped a bit I think.” Alex smiles at the blonde. “Here we are.” Alex steps aside to let Beth out first.

“Oh no. No Alex. I can't. I don't want to see Kate again. I need to go.” Beth somehow hadn't fully registered that they were heading back to Keller until they were there.

“Come on.” Alex grabs Beth by the hand and drags her towards Jo's room.

Beth reluctantly follows the brunette, eyes darting back and forth, searching for Kate.

“Dr Dawson.” The woman in question corners them before they get to the side room. She notices Alex and Beth's joined hands and her gaze shoots back up to her ex, eyes cold and sharp as jealousy consumes her. They drop hands immediately. “I just wanted to let you know that I'm happy to wait for your statement. I'll call back in a few days.” She never takes her eyes off Beth, the blonde stares open mouthed. She hadn't expected Kate to change her mind about questioning Alex. “Here's my card if you need to talk in the meantime.” She hands it off to the brunette. “I wish your fiancée a safe and speedy recovery.” She smiles kindly at the brunette and starts to leave.

“Kate?” Beth feels an unstoppable pull towards her ex, Alex leaves them to it and heads in to check on Jo.

The detective turns to the blonde and waits for whatever it was she wanted to say.

“Thank you.” She reaches out to Kate and brushes her hand over the back of her ex's. “I still love you too.” She offers up the confession as a whisper into the other woman’s ear and steps back to look at her. “I miss you so much.”

“Beth, I want us to talk. Will you have dinner with me tonight?” Kate puts her question to the blonde.

Beth nods with a small smile. “Ok.”

Kate grins at her and squeezes her hand gently. “I'll call you later.” She couldn't believe how her day was shaping up, all she'd wanted since the breakup was a chance to make things right again.

Beth can't help but smile as she heads off in search of Jo's room. Knocking softly she pushes into the room and is met with a clearly besotted couple, her smile only widening.

“Hey.” Alex glances up at her from her seat next to the redhead. “Jo, this is Beth. Beth, this is my Jo.” Alex introduces the two women.

“Hello, Jo. It's nice to meet you. Alex never stops talking about you.” Beth and Jo laugh as they shake hands and Alex flushes scarlet.

“Nice to meet you too, Beth.” Jo smiles at the blonde.

“So how did it go with Kate?” Alex gives Beth a knowing look before explaining to Jo who Kate was.

“She wants to talk, we're having dinner later.” Beth can't stop smiling at that thought.

“I knew it!” Alex exclaims cheerfully. “You two are headed for reconciliation, I can feel it.”

“We'll see... Anyway, I need to get back to work.” Beth hugs Alex quickly before shaking Jo's hand again and leaving with a wave at the couple.

Jo's family and Bernie and Serena call in for a visit throughout the day and Alex makes a very quick dash home to shower and change before coming back, having run to the shops for a few things Jo needed on the way. Jo didn't want her going back to Jo's on her own, so she'd promised to head to the supermarket instead.

“Hello you. How are you?” Alex drops a kiss to Jo's hair as she comes in when everyone else seemed to be leaving.

“Alright. Sacha had some bloods taken to confirm the infection and the morphine seems to ease the pain.” Jo links hands with Alex as she sits down beside her. “Do you know where all the jewellery I was wearing when I came in is? I want my engagement ring.”

“Normally they bring it in and put it in your locker.” Alex opens the drawer to have a look. “Here you go.” She fishes the ring out of the bag they always place belongings in and slides it on to Jo's finger before kissing the back of her hand.

“Do you think we’ll get married soon?” Jo stares at the ring and then up to look at Alex.

“You don't need to worry about that right now. Just focus on getting better first. Once you're home we can plan everything.” Alex smiles at her gorgeous fiancée.

“Do you ever think that the universe is against us?” Jo turns serious.

“What do you mean?” Alex looks confused.

“Well, on the night you first planned to propose you almost died.” Jo's eyes sadden at the memory. “Then the whole mess from our engagement party. And now this when we only just got back together again.”

“I don't understand.” Alex struggles to see where Jo is going with this.

“Do you think someone is trying to tell us it's just not meant to be?” Jo puts it bluntly.

“What's brought this on?” Alex didn't like this train of thought.

“Is it really meant to be this hard, Alex?” A heaviness seems to settle on the redhead’s shoulders.

“Are you saying that you don't want to be with me?” The question sticks in Alex's throat.

“I don't know what I'm saying. But you should know, when I'm ready to be discharged I won't be coming home with you. I've arranged with Mum to go stay there for a while.” Jo won't look at Alex.

“But I want you with me. I want to look after you and be able to see you everyday.” Alex pleads with the redhead.

“I just need some time. We need space.” Jo explains.

“I don't need space!” Alex snaps. “Why are you doing this?”

“If we were supposed to be together, there wouldn't be all this drama. All these obstacles all the time. I'm tired Alex. Aren't you tired?” Jo does sound exhausted.

“That's not how I see it. Yes we've had a lot thrown at us, but we got through it. Together. We've survived more than most couples could. It's made us stronger, it just proves to me that nothing can stop us. Or so I thought...” Alex replies crestfallen.

“I can't have anything happen to you just because you're with me.” Jo slips the ring back off and tries to hand it to Alex.

“Nothing’s going to happen -”Alex starts to argue, refusing to take the ring.

“Oh wake up Alex. You've already almost died! Lucie would have killed you if I hadn't stepped in.” Jo tries to get her to see sense. “I'm not going to wait around for the other shoe to drop.” Jo grabs Alex's hand and puts the ring into it.

“Keep it. I don't want it.” Alex throws the ring on to the locker top and stands to leave, irreparably stung by Jo's rejection. “You'll regret this Jo and don't bother coming crying to me. This is it. I'm done. We are over. I am not sitting around waiting for you to come to your senses or chasing after you this time. Don't contact me, don't come anywhere near me, don't even think about me.” Alex slams the door in fury before she runs off the ward.


	39. Chapter 39

3 weeks later

Bernie just couldn't catch a break. There never seemed to be a good time to arrange her proposal. Apposing shifts meant that they'd hardly seen each other and then Jo and Alex had broken up again, for good it seemed. She had sat all the kids down and told them her plan, showed them the ring and they were all thrilled, but she never seemed to get the chance to give the blasted thing to Serena.

In the end it wasn’t the grand gesture she had hoped for, it was just another typical Wednesday evening. They had somehow managed to swap shifts so that they could leave together and had picked up a takeaway on the way home. Bellies full and happily cuddling on the sofa in front of some silly TV programme that they only got away with putting on because Jason was with Alan overnight, Bernie just happened to glance over at Serena and just felt the moment was right.

“I'm just nipping upstairs for something, I'll be back in a mo.” Bernie kisses Serena softly and prays she's read this right. She fumbles in her ‘emergency proposal kit' to set the scene. When she thinks everything looks as good as it can, she calls out to the brunette from the top of the stairs. “Serena, have you seen my favourite RAMC sweatshirt, I'm a bit cold and I can't find it.”

“Can't you just use another one?” Serena replies from her spot on the couch.

“Serena...” Bernie whines in hopes that the brunette will come to her.

“Alright, alright. I’m sure it's where you left it. At your pert and shapely backside as always.” Serena quips with a chuckle as she heads upstairs. “Did you maybe put it in the wash -” Serena stops dead when she opens the bedroom door to see what Bernie has done.

Candles bathe the room in a soft, romantic glow and faux rose petals are carefully placed on top of the bed covers and seemed to spell something out. Serena steps further into the room to get a closer look. She gasps out a surprised sob as the message swims in and out of focus from the tears in her eyes. There in gorgeous deep red petals is the simple but beautiful request: Marry Me? x

“It's not exactly how I wanted to do it but you know me, always have a plan B.” Serena turns to find Bernie on one knee behind her and another shaky sob slips out.

“Serena Wendy Campbell, I love you and I can think of nothing that would make me happier than spending the rest of my life with you. If you'll have me?” Bernie produces the ring box from inside her pocket and opens it to reveal the ring. “Will you marry me?” She looks up at Serena with those big, expressive brown eyes and takes a quick breath to steady herself, waiting for Serena's answer.

“Yes.” Serena nods vehemently causing the unshed tears to start rolling down her cheeks. “Yes.” She throws herself at Bernie, pulling her up for a heated kiss. “I love you.” She somehow manages to mumble out without really breaking the kiss.

Bernie moves away slightly to take the ring out and put it on Serena's finger. “And I love you.” She smiles into another kiss before startling Serena by scooping her up in her arms and carrying her over to the bed, never ending the kiss.

They take their time undressing each other and cover the other’s bare skin in soft, wet kisses as they profess their love over and over again. Warm breaths against flesh causing goosebumps and sending delicious shivers of anticipation down each other’s spine. Their love making is slow and passionate as they lose all sense of time together.

Once they are completely satisfied and still trembling from aftershocks, they lie side by side, bodies still glowing with sweat and hearts full of love as they hold one another close.

“I'm sorry it wasn't a more romantic setting for my proposal.” Bernie looks disappointed in herself as she studies the ring on Serena's hand.

“I thought it was wonderful.” Serena beams at the blonde and watches her ring sparkle in the candlelight. “Very us.” She kisses Bernie softly and strokes her hair out of her eyes to look at her and show she means it.

“I was thinking of a smallish wedding. Just the kids and maybe Jo and Alex to stand for us.” Bernie turns a little sad thinking about the other couple and how awkward it might be but she wants them both there. “We could go somewhere fancy for dinner afterwards. Unless you want a big wedding? I don't mind, I want to give you everything you want, Serena.” Bernie fixes the brunette with a sincere look and Serena’s heart swells.

“I already have everything I want. I can't wait to be your wife, we don't need a huge wedding. I think your way sounds perfect.” Serena smiles and cuddles into Bernie's side. “How will we tell Jo and Alex?” Serena’s voice is laced with concern for their friends.

Jo's infection had cleared up nicely in those few weeks and her wound was almost ready for the sutures to come out. She hadn't been allowed home yet but she could walk a little now. But she never ventured far from her bed, and kept staring forlornly at her ring mocking her on top of her locker. She had done as Alex asked and avoided contact, the only part she couldn't fulfil was not thinking about her. It seemed to be all she did.

Her Dad and brothers had cleared out her house and brought her things to the family home, once the police had finished gathering evidence. They had dumped or donated Lucie's clothes and Jo was glad not to have to face going back there. She had put the house on the market because she knew she could never live there again. She would stay with her family until the house was sold and she could buy something else. A mystery helper had spoken to her tutors and all of the class notes and assignments had been sent to her each week, so that she still had a chance of graduating if she kept on top of things, she would be out of hospital well before the exams or classroom based assessments began. None of her family would admit to it, so she suspected Alex had arranged it all. She wasn't sure if this thought made her feel better or worse. That somewhere the brunette was still looking out for her, although she knew she didn't deserve it after what she’d done. She daren't contact her to thank her at any rate.

“Good morning Jo. How are we today? I'm hoping you will be fighting fit soon, the agency PA covering for you isn't really up to scratch.” Ric jokes as he checks her over and makes notes. “This looks a lot better.” He offers as he inspects the wound and redresses it. You know this would heal even faster if you got up and about, increase blood flow to the area.” He looks at her a little sadly. “The nurses tell me you aren't eating or sleeping much either. You need to keep your strength up if you're keen to go home.”

“Sacha said the same and so did Dom and Essie.” Jo confirms. “I don't feel up to much.” She looks utterly heartbroken. Ric had heard the rumours of her bust up with Alex Dawson.

“If you don't at least try, we'll have to put the IV back in. You'll only be stuck here for longer and the infection could return.” Ric explains.

Jo just shrugs and mumbles a half-hearted promise to give it a go. She couldn't really complain, this was her doing at the end of the day.

“I'll get someone to check back with you in a little while. Try to take a walk, even to the lift and back and then maybe a nap.” Ric suggests kindly, sliding her chart back into place.

Bernie and Serena had arranged to meet Alex at Pulses during her lunch break. The plan was to head up to see Jo and share their news, but in practice they weren't sure how either would take it.

“Hey Bern, Serena.” Alex smiles weakly as she places her order and joins them at their table. “How's Jo?” Alex could never stop herself from asking. Once the anger had worn off, she resigned herself to a lifetime of thinking about the redhead in one way or another. Of loving her always.

“Physically she's ok. Sacha says she's not putting much effort into moving and she doesn't eat or sleep a lot. He says she just isn't herself.” Bernie gives the brunette a tight smile after she updates her.

“You'll let me know when she gets out. I'll ask for her class notes and things to be sent to her Mum's instead of here to the hospital.” Alex tries to ignore Bernie’s summary.

“Don't you think you could discuss it with her? I'm sure she'd be pleased to know what you did for her.” Serena chances.

“She doesn't need to know.” Alex replies bluntly.

“I imagine she's managed to figure it out. I doubt it would do any harm to mention it to her.” Bernie hated the rift that had come between the couple, when they belonged together.

“So what did you two need to see me for anyway?” Alex changes the subject entirely.

Bernie and Serena glance at each other, unsure how to do this. Should they speak to them both separately? Really they wanted the two women to find out together and maybe they would be forced to talk to each other if they were in the same room.

“We were actually hoping to speak to you and Jo at the same time. If that would be ok?” Bernie winces at her own request, searching Alex's face for clues as to how that idea would be received.

“I'd rather not.” Is all Alex says.

“We have something to tell you and we'd prefer to share it with you both. Together.” Serena adds.

“Does Jo know about this, did she say it was alright?” Alex wasn't so cruel that she would spring this on the redhead and risk setting back her recovery. She looks cross when the pair shake their heads. “Well, I'll do it if she agrees.” Alex concedes.

Serena was nominated to speak to Jo. She found the redhead slowly roaming down the corridor towards her. Jo's face brightens a fraction when she notices her friend but Serena's heart goes out to her. She can clearly see how gaunt and pale she is, she seemed to have lost a great deal of weight in the few short weeks since she'd been admitted. Serena’s step falters as she wonders if maybe their news would only be another blow for the already fragile redhead.

“Hi Serena. How are you? Bernie keeping ok? She called in to see me a few days ago.” Jo reaches her friend and gingerly leads them back to her room. “Ric says I need to get more mobile if I want to go home soon. Can't argue with my boss, eh?” Jo's smile never reaches her eyes as she jokes with her friend.

“It will help you heal.” Serena places an encouraging hand on Jo's back as she guides her back to bed. “Eating, drinking plenty of water and sleeping too.”

“So they tell me.” Jo's hand instinctively grabs for her engagement ring as she lies back down. She plays with it absentmindedly for a minute before realises what she's doing and putting it back. Serena can see the shine of tears in her eyes. “So what's new?” Jo says a little too brightly, trying to mask her pain.

“Well, Bernie and I wanted to see you. Feel free to say no if you don't want to, but we wanted Alex to be here too. If you're up to it.” Serena sees Jo flinch at Alex's name and starts to backtrack. “It can wait, I'm sure. Once you're feeling stronger...” Serena stands to leave.

“Are they here already?” Jo halts her with the question and she nods tentatively. “Ok. Bring them in.” Jo says with more conviction than she feels.

“Are you sure?” Serena hesitates and Jo nods and squeezes her hand to say it was alright. Serena’s hands shake a little as she fires off a text to tell Bernie to head up with Alex. “If you don't feel up to this at any point we'll go.” Serena reassures her.

When Bernie knocks gently a few moments later, Jo can't look up from her bedding as the two women come into the room. “ Hey, Jo. How are you doing?” Bernie comes over to put her hand on Serena's shoulder as she stays seated by the redhead’s bed. Alex leans against the doorframe, refusing to come any further in.

“I'm ok thanks.” Jo avoids looking at the brunette by the door. “Serena says you wanted to tell me something.” She prompts Bernie.

“Oh well, yes we wanted to tell you. Both of you...” Bernie spins to include Alex. “...we're engaged.” She puts her other hand on Serena's shoulder and squeezes affectionately.

Serena holds up her hand to show off the ring.

“Oh but that's great!” Jo smiles through tears as she stands to give each woman a soft hug. “I'm so happy for you both.”

“That's fantastic news!” Alex concurs as she too hugs the pair.

Bernie and Serena can see that their friends are genuinely pleased for them but can't fail to see the tinge of sadness too.

“We wanted to ask you both if you would be our witnesses on the big day. It's only going to be a small thing but I'd love it if you’d be my best woman Al.” Bernie turns to her best friend.

“And if you would be my bridesmaid of sorts Jo.” Serena smiles at the redhead.

“I'd be honoured.” Jo replies instantly, kissing Serena’s cheek.

“Well, I...the thing is...” Alex stumbles over her answer. “How soon would this big day be? Not to put you under any time pressure but...” Alex fishes an envelope out of her pocket “...I only just got confirmation this morning.” She hands the paper to Bernie.

Bernie blanches as she notes the letterhead, she didn't need to read the letter to know what it said. “Alex...” She looks to the taller brunette, hoping that this doesn't mean what she knows it does.

Alex confirms Bernie's fears. “I asked for reinstatement. They're giving me another 10 year commission. I leave in 6 weeks.”


	40. Chapter 40

“Why Alex?” Bernie stares at the woman in shock.

Alex shrugs listlessly. “There's nothing here for me. Why stay?” She challenges. “Look, my break's almost over. I'd best get back to work. Let me know what you need me to do for the wedding. Congratulations again ladies.” She hugs both and notices that Bernie holds on a little tighter and longer than normal.

“Are you sure about this?” The blonde whispers into her ear.

“I'll call you later. We should go for drinks or something to celebrate.” Alex steps away with an unreadable expression and turns to go.

Jo had just watched the whole thing speechless, but she breaks down when the door closes behind Alex. “This is all my fault.” She shakes as the sobs take over her body. “Oh God, she can't go. She just can't.” Jo shudders as she fights to compose herself.

“What happened with you two? It must have been pretty bad to make her do this.” Bernie feels like shaking the redhead.

Jo shuffles to hang her legs over the side of the bed and rummages in her locker. She finds the piece of paper and shows it to the couple.

‘This isn't over. She will never be safe as long as you stay together. You belong to me.’

“It's Lucie's handwriting.” Jo looks terrified of even saying her name. “I thought I was protecting Alex, I tried to make her hate me so she would stay away. I didn't want anything to happen to her. I thought it was the right thing, I didn't know what else to do.”

“Does Alex know?” Serena looks up from the note to see Jo shake her head.

“Did you tell the police?” Bernie asks.

“I found it in here the day after I came round. Alex was away picking up some things for me at the time, she never saw this. Lucie was supposed to be in custody. If she can do this from prison, it will never end. The police obviously can't stop her.” Jo weeps into her hands. “I'll never be free of her and I can't ask Alex to live in fear. I had to end it.”

“Why didn't you say anything? We need to tell the police. Lucie must have someone helping her. They need to be looking for whoever it is. You can't do this on your own Jo. Not when you've barely recovered.” Serena tries to reason with the redhead.

“I only wanted to protect Alex. I don't care what she does to me.” Jo seems resigned to being haunted by her ex forever.

“Protect me from what?” All three sets of eyes snap up at the sound of Alex’s voice, none of them had noticed her come back in.

“Nothing.” Jo snatches the note back and tries to hide it.

“What is that?” Alex looks at each woman in turn, expecting one of them to tell her. “Protect me from what, Jo?”

“Please Alex. It's for the best that you don't know. I don't want you to get hurt.” Jo’s eyes plead with the brunette to drop it.

“I think you should tell her Jo.” Serena rubs soothingly at her friend’s arm. “Then you need to contact that DCI Winters, she seemed nice. She can help you.”

Jo forces out a harsh laugh at the suggestion. “Will she help me get a full night's sleep too? Will she make the nightmares stop? I wake almost every night screaming Alex's name and seeing Lucie standing over my bed. Will she help me eat without that horrible sick, heavy feeling in my stomach? Or allow me to concentrate for more than 2 seconds on my stupid class notes and essays? She's ruining my life and she isn't even here!” Jo is hysterical now as the tears stream down her face.

“Jo.” Alex moves to hold the redhead. “Show me whatever you're hiding and I will do whatever I can to help you.” Alex struggles not to cry right along with the woman she loves. “Why didn't you tell me any of this? I would never let anyone hurt you. I would never have let you go through this alone.” Alex kisses away the redhead’s tears.

Jo's hand trembles uncontrollably as she passes the note to Alex and studies her reactions as she reads it. “Lucie wrote it.”

“Is this why you broke up with me?” Alex looks up from the page and Jo nods as she buries her head in her hands and the tears start anew.

“I'm so sorry. I only tried to keep you out of danger.” Jo mumbles from between her fingers.

Alex pulls out her wallet and searches for Kate’s card, she presents it to Jo. “We'll call her and she can come in and we can tell her. Together.”

“Really?” Jo perks up a bit.

“You have to promise me you won't keep stuff like this from me again. We support each other. If we're going to get married, we're a team, ok?” Alex lifts Jo's head up by placing a finger under her chin to meet her eye.

“Get married?” Jo stutters out shocked.

“I’m not going to let a bully like Lucie stop us. Are you?” Alex puts it to her.

Jo sits taller in the bed. “No.” She responds defiant.

“Could you give us a minute?” Alex asks the other couple and Bernie and Serena gladly agree.

Alex spots the engagement ring on the side and grabs it to put it back on Jo's finger. “If you ever take this off again, I swear to God -” The rest of her sentence is lost as Jo covers her mouth with her own in a fierce kiss.

“Never. I promise.” Jo scatters Alex's face with butterfly kisses.

“As soon as they discharge you, I want you back home with me and planning our wedding. I'll take as much time off as you need me to and we'll ask about maybe finding you someone to talk to properly about all this. You can't do this all by yourself Jo. I won't let you.” Alex kisses her again softly. “Let's ring Kate ok?”

“What about your commission?” Jo suddenly remembers.

“I'll tell them I changed my mind. It happens sometimes, they can figure it out.” Alex smiles into another round of delicious kisses.

Bernie and Serena barge in at that point, unable to wait any longer and force the couple apart.

“Oooh. A double wedding!” Serena suggests with a giggle.

“No!” The other three laugh as she fake pouts.

“I'm going to cancel my reinstatement so you take all the time you want to plan your big day.” Alex grins and the four of them share a group hug at the news.

“We've got to shoot off.” Bernie feels reluctant to leave, as she takes Serena's hand to head back to AAU.

Alex reaches for her phone and makes the call to DCI Winters. She says she'll be able to come interview them in about an hour's time.

When she arrives she reads over the note and has Jo confirm that it is Lucie's handwriting. She carefully places the note into an evidence bag for fingerprinting. She requests that Alex, Jo, Bernie and Serena submit fingerprints to rule them out of the test. She reassures them that Lucie has done herself no favours and could be punished more severely for continuing to harass the couple. She suggests that Jo would be best to stay with Alex when she gets out of hospital, because as far as they are aware, Lucie doesn't know her address. They remember that she does know where Bernie and Serena live and Kate promises to do everything she can to make sure they are all safe. She says she'll be in touch with any updates as she has them and shakes hands with them all as she leaves and politely requests that no more information by withheld from now on.

“I think she'll do her best to help us.” Alex reassures Jo and calls her work to request a few days off to stay with Jo until she's ready to go home.

They make a right pair squeezing into Jo's hospital bed and snuggling together. It's the first decent night's sleep Jo has since she was admitted.

Over the next few days Jo's determination to be discharged seems to solidify. She eats and drinks everything given to her and can be seen wandering many a corridor in an effort to be back on her feet properly. Alex is always by her side to offer words of encouragement and a steadying arm if she gets tired. She only leaves to shower or change and bring more of Jo's things when she needs them. Jo's Mum offers an approving nod and a warm hug when Alex calls over to take her things back home. In the moments when Alex can't be there, Jo studies her notes and types up assignments on the laptop Alex brought her, but she always awaits her return with a quiet excitement and a warm, knowing smile playing on her lips.

Alex helps her search for a therapist online and brings in a stack of wedding magazines for them to flick through for ideas, while they sit huddled together on the tiny bed, laughing and touching the whole time. A silent agreement seems to have passed between them to make the most of each other and not let Lucie win.

So when Ric finally removes Jo's stitches and declares her fit to go home, neither woman can contain their glee at the prospect.

“Let's get you home then.” Alex beams as she helps Jo pack up all her things and carries them out to her car.

Jo spends a few minutes thanking everyone for looking after her so well, receiving warm hugs and best wishes for a speedy return to work. Alex collects her and they call down to AAU to see Bernie and Serena, arranging to treat them to a night out to mark their engagement.

Alex takes them to the supermarket on the way home, because she'd spent most nights at the hospital with Jo, there would be hardly anything to eat or drink otherwise. They wander through the aisles hand in hand and dropping various things into their trolley. Once they get home Alex takes Jo's things upstairs for her to unpack later and Jo makes a start on dinner.

“It's so good to have you home.” Alex wraps her arms around Jo's waist from behind and kisses her neck slowly, while the redhead tilts her head back and rests it on Alex's shoulder to allow better access.

“It's good to be home.” Jo sighs out, lost in the feeling of Alex pressed tightly against her and her mouth on her skin. “I love you, Alex.”

“That certainly helps, seeing as we're getting married.” Alex smiles against Jo's neck and inhales deeply. “I love you too.”

“You are the love of my life. I am so in love with you.” Jo's eyes hold nothing but sincerity as she turns to face Alex and traces the brunette’s features with the tips of her fingers. “I know that I have made such a mess of things. I just couldn't bear the thought of you being hurt.”

“The only thing that would really hurt me is not being with you.” Alex threads her hands through Jo's hair and pulls her in for a deep kiss.

After a quick dinner, they settle on the sofa to watch some mindless TV before heading to bed. Jo rests tucked into Alex's side, with the brunette’s arm wrapped tightly around her, pulling her as close as possible while they giggle at some silly show or other. When they start to lose interest, Alex declares that it's time for bed.

Alex shucks that day's clothes and stands naked, searching for a fresh pair of pyjamas in an open drawer, when Jo slides up behind her and pulls her away from the drawer by the waist. She can feel from the brush of skin against her back that Jo is naked too and the thought alone sends a jolt of arousal straight through her. She struggles for air as Jo's soft hands work their way from her waist, over her stomach and up to cup her breasts from behind, Jo plants soft, open mouthed kisses across her back as her fingers tease her nipples to firmness.

“J...ooooo.” Alex shudders out the redhead’s name as one hand makes its way downwards from her chest to seek out the growing wetness between her thighs.

She can muster no objections when she finds herself splayed out on the bed with Jo on top of her. How did they end up here? All attempts to find the answer cease when the other woman begins kissing and licking and sucking over heated flesh.

“I do love you, Alex.” Jo's eyes search Alex's willing her to see the truth of her words.

“I know.” Alex leans up to capture the redhead’s mouth in hers. “But we should try to get some rest, Ric said to take it easy.” Alex reels as Jo's kisses moves along her jaw and warm breath tickles at the shell of her ear.

“I believe his exact words were ‘gentle exercise.’” Jo traces the ear with the tip of her tongue and Alex cries out. “And I promise to be gentle.” Jo fixes the brunette with a mischievous look and eyebrows raised seductively, as she trails a path of wet kisses down Alex's middle to stop exactly where Alex needs her. The feel of Jo's hair tickling over her front almost makes Alex let go there and then, but when Jo's mouth finally finds her and she looks down to see all that beautiful red hair buried between her legs, she knows she's in for a long night in the best possible way.


	41. Chapter 41

Jo can feel something brushing at her side in her dream and wriggles under the tickling sensation.

Alex lies flush against her back and chuckles softly before dropping a quick kiss to Jo's bare shoulder and continuing her hand’s path up and down the redhead’s skin. She revels in the dips and rises of her fingers as they track Jo's curves. She also feels a tug of sadness as she sees and can trace how much sharper the redhead’s angles are now, a canvas of bonier offerings rather than the previous soft, round landscape she had known. Jo had lost weight, that much was obvious and the thought pulled at Alex's heartstrings. She wasn't there to notice how little Jo had been eating in hospital. Dark, heavy circles underlined her once bright and lively eyes, proving how little she'd slept too. Her Jo was still there but Alex couldn't help but catalogue all the signs that she’d struggled through the past weeks alone. Alex silently vowed that she would never face any of it on her own again. The blame lay squarely with Lucie and her campaign of terror, but Alex couldn't deny that it was made easier by Alex not being there to offer support and love when Jo needed it most.

“That's an awfully thoughtful face for this early in the morning.” Jo's voice startles Alex back to the present. “Are you alright, my love?” Jo turns to face Alex fully and her eyes scan the brunette’s face, clearly worried by Alex's sadden expression.

“I wish I'd known how alone and frightened you were these past few weeks.” Alex starts to apologise for not being there.

“No, enough of that. Enough now.” Jo caresses the worry lines out of Alex's features. “Lucie isn't here. You're here and I'm here. That's all that matters. We're together and planning our wedding and she can't hurt us anymore. We won't let her.” Jo smiles and cuddles Alex close as she runs her fingers through brunette locks. “I love you and I know you love me and she isn't ruining this for us from now on. Ok?”

Alex nods against Jo's chest and some of her tension starts to ebb away, safe in the circle of Jo's arms. “You're right.” Alex sits up and holds Jo to her for a bit longer, then with a soft kiss to her hair she announces “I'm going to make us your favourite cheese and mushroom omelettes and then we are going to spend the whole day searching for wedding venues and cakes and flowers and...you get the idea.” She kisses the bridge of Jo's nose before she gets up. “And then we're meeting Bernie and Serena at that Italian place they love, you remember from our fourth date...” She smiles as Jo nods “...and we're going to celebrate all night with them. Well, maybe not all night. We could come home and do a little celebrating of our own...” Alex raises an eyebrow and crawls back over the covers to steal Jo's breath with a hungry kiss, just to be sure she catches her drift. “God, I love you Jo.” She drags herself away to make a start on the breakfast she promised while Jo jumps in the shower.

Alex is delighted to see Jo clear her plate and dashes upstairs for a quick shower and change before they go. Jo sits happily flicking through one of the wedding magazines and daydreaming about their big day as she waits.

“I thought we might take a look at The Grand Hotel. You know where we had dinner for our second date. They do weddings.” Alex calls as she wanders back downstairs and grabs her wallet and keys. “It's local and central and we know the food is amazing. I thought it would be nice if it was somewhere that means something to us, somewhere with good memories.” She explains.

“I'd like that. We should try there first.” Jo agrees easily.

“I put a call into that bakery on High Street while I was upstairs. If we call in at about 2pm they'll do a cake tasting for us. Who do you think?” Alex passes Jo her bag and helps her into her coat with a kiss to the nape of her neck. Alex still loved doing that and the resulting goosebumps always made her grin.

“Ready?” Jo turns and kisses her gently.

“Let's go.” Alex offers her elbow and Jo links arms with the brunette.

They park at one of the multi-storeys in town and walk holding hands to the hotel.

“Ah, Captain Dawson. Good to see you! I hope you’re keeping well.” The owner greets them at the reception desk.

“Hello again Mr Greggs. We're very well thank you.” Alex asks after the man's family and they chat pleasantly for a few minutes. “We were thinking of booking your hotel for our wedding.” Alex gestures to Jo beside her and the two shake hands. “Is now a good time to have a look at what you have available?”

“Of course, of course! Congratulations on your engagement. It would be a privilege to have you celebrate your special day with us. Just let me get hold of our events planner and we'll gladly show you what we offer here at The Grand. Have a seat, can I get you tea or coffee, perhaps a glass of champagne? All complimentary.” He guides them to a small alcove where they can wait.

“I'll take tea, milk, no sugar. Please.” Jo replies shyly.

“A coffee for me please, just milk as well.” Alex smiles as the man heads towards the restaurant to organise their drinks.

They are just sipping their beverages when a small, bubbly woman, who must be the events planner and introduces herself as Sophie, appears to offer firm handshakes to the couple.

“Welcome to The Grand Hotel, Ms Phillips, Captain Dawson. Mr Greggs tells me you're interested in our wedding packages.” She beams at the women.

“That's right.” Alex confirms. “But please call me Alex and my fiancée is Jo.”

“Alright, Alex, Jo...” She nods at each in turn. “...why don't you take a look at our brochure and the different packages available while you finish your drinks.” Sophie passes them everything and then fetches a huge diary from her office, bringing it back with her. “Do you have a date in mind yet? No pressure at all, just to get an idea of availability.” She looks up at the pair who are leafing through the brochure open mouthed. Weddings at The Grand sure looked gorgeous.

Alex blushes as she had always had a date in mind but maybe the reason was a bit corny. “I'd like to get married on the last Friday in January. I know it's only 5 months away but I....” She falters.

“What is it?” Jo squeezes her thigh affectionately with a bright smile to encourage her.

“It would be one year to the day since we said ‘I love you’ to each other for the first time.” Alex whispers to the redhead, causing Jo to smile widely.

“That's beautiful. I would love to marry you on that day.” Jo couldn't love this woman more than is this moment. “Can you check if you have that day free?” Jo eagerly asks Sophie.

“Alright, let me see. You might be in luck, January can be a quieter month for weddings.” Sophie licks the ends of her fingers and flicks through her diary to the requested date. “Aha, here we go...” She glances at the page in question. “...yes we have that day free. Normally what would happen is, I ask for a small deposit to secure the date. We have a one wedding per day policy, so essentially that means you and your guests have the run of the specified areas of the hotel, no other brides to compete with, no queuing for photographs and the deposit means I won't give anyone else the date. It's yours, if you want it. But first, let me show you the ceremony room and the reception room. If you'd like, I can show you the bridal suite and our classic rooms reserved for a maximum of 80 guests once you book the date. I can run through our dinner menus and some of our packages include things like cake, photographer, DJs, flowers etc. We have good relationships with a number of high quality suppliers but we understand if you have your own preferences for these as well.”

“Ok, let's have a look.” Jo responds, but both women look a little stunned at the barrage of information.

“Don't look so worried. I can take the deposit and you can have all the brochures and things home with you and take as long as you want to decide. We only ask for final numbers and full payment six weeks before the wedding and the deposit is completely refundable if you find somewhere else you'd rather have as your venue. I know a fair few places to look for everything if you don't like the ones we use in the packages. Mr Greggs has told me to take very good care of you both.” Sophie smiles at the dazed couple.

When she opens the double doors to the ceremony room, both women gasp in awe. She runs through the timings of the day and how the hotel has a hairdresser and beautician to work with the brides and their party on the morning of the wedding if they wish to select one of the packages where overnight stay the night before and salon time on the day are included. She suggests they go straight to City Hall to request their marriage licence and registrar once they settle on a date.

Alex knows just by looking at Jo's face that this is it. She can already picture marrying the redhead in this exact room and a huge smile plays on her lips as she imagines the scene.

Sophie shows them the reception room where dinner would be served and runs through the more popular menus. The bridal suite is bigger than their whole house and utterly stunning and the guest rooms are just as beautiful.

“I love it.” Jo’s eyes shine with happiness as she whispers to the brunette when they are presented with the gardens as the perfect place for photographs. “What do you think?” She asks hesitantly, not sure if perhaps it is too much for one day.

“Sophie, we'd very much like to leave our deposit and hold the date.” Alex beams as Jo squeals with delight.

Sophie gives them everything they need to take away with them, explains that final decisions and another deposit will be due at the end of November. She points out her contact details in the brochure for any questions and says they are welcome to take as many or as few of the items included in any package as they want and wishes them a good day as she waves them off.

The couple stop by a local florists next, who is more than happy to run through options with them and explain the price list. She knows The Grand well and can arrange delivery both to the venue and any specific address given for buttonholes and bouquets. She only needs a small deposit two weeks before, along with the complete order, and will take full payment anytime up to three days after the wedding. They leave with another brochure to consider.

Jo treats them to a light lunch of sandwiches and pastries at a small café near the bakery before their appointment time and they highlight their favourite things from all the brochures before wandering over to the bakery.

The owner there has a number of mocked up cakes on display and a magazine of all available designs for them to choose from. He explains the various types of filling they offer and explains that they can have a number of tiers to their cake and any combination of layers. Then comes the fun part, he brings out a tray full of different slices for them to try.

The pair feed each other and giggle like schoolgirls as they ‘accidently' smear the other's face with cream and icing. They leave the shop thoroughly sticky and brimming with joy at the prospect of choosing all their ideal things for their special day. The bakery owner had even told them about a wedding fayre taking place in two weeks at another local hotel, he said that a lot of the participants offered good on the day discounts and they could get lots of ideas from seeing all the stalls.

Then they marched straight to City Hall to do as Sophie had suggested and were told that they could reserve that date and if they would come back in with certain paperwork, they could apply for a marriage licence and meet the registrar.

“Home?” Alex asks, exhausted from all the information fired at them in such a short space of time.

“Home.” Jo confirms with a nod as they make their way back to the car and drive off towards home.

Both women smile quietly to themselves as they motor along, content that they had made the perfect start to planning the day that would signify the beginning of the rest of their lives together.


	42. Chapter 42

“Serena!” Bernie calls out for the brunette from the bottom of the stairs. “Alex and Jo will be waiting for us, we said 8pm. The taxi will be here any minute....”

“I'm here.” Serena floats down the stairs as Bernie stares, floored by how beautiful she was.

“You look incredible.” Bernie pulls her in once she reaches the ground floor and takes in the vision in front of her.

“I try my best.” Serena swoons as the blonde starts to kiss her neck softly.

“Let's just reschedule and go back upstairs.” Bernie groans into the brunette’s skin as she smells Serena’s favourite perfume, knowing she did this on purpose. She knows exactly what the scent does to her. She sulks like a baby and stamps her foot when the taxi appears and beeps its horn, just as she was running her fingers up Serena's stocking clad thigh and had just felt the spot where lace gave way to flesh.

“Come on. We can carry on with this later.” Serena smiles salaciously over her shoulder as she marches to the door. Bernie can't help but appreciate the extra sway of her hips which she knows is intentional. This woman really would be the death of her, but what a way to go!

“You are beautiful.” Bernie slips into the backseat of the taxi beside Serena and kisses her cheek gently.

“And you scrub up well yourself, Major.” Serena smiles and runs the tip of her nose along the side of Bernie's neck, culminating in a soft kiss to her pulse point. "Although I must say I'm rather looking forward to seeing you wearing much less later tonight.” Serena emphasises the ‘much’ part as she whispers into the blonde’s ear.

They pay the driver and saunter hand in hand into the restaurant, searching for their friends. Alex and Jo are already waiting for them at the bar and they all greet each other with hugs and kisses, before a waiter takes their coats and leads them to their table.

An ice bucket is already in place and a bottle of champagne with four glasses awaits them. 

“Compliments of the house to help you celebrate.” The waiter pours a glass for each lady with a smile.

“Could I also get a bottle of whatever beer you have please?” Alex asks.

“Of course madam. Any other drinks?” He looks to the other three.

“A glass of your finest Shiraz for this one.” Bernie squeezes Serena's thigh as she nods at her and pretends not to notice Serena mouth ‘bring a whole bottle.’ “And maybe just a jug of water for the table.”

“Coming right up.” The waiter leaves them to look at the food menu.

“Jo, feeling better?” Bernie looks over to the redhead.

“Not too bad thanks. Ribs are still a bit sore but nothing that a couple more weeks of rest won't fix. What about you pair, any ideas when the big day might be?” She smiles at the couple.

“We are going to call down to City Hall early next week on our day off to see what dates they have available.” Bernie returns the smile then leans into Serena for a quick kiss.

“Oh yes, we spoke to them today. Very helpful. Just be sure to bring all your paperwork with you or you'll only have to calk back like us.” Jo explains kindly.

“What's this? Have you settled on a date then?” Serena looks between the other pair excitedly.

“Yes, actually. We're provisionally booked at The Grand Hotel for the last Friday in January.” Alex beams as she clasps Jo's hand in her own on top of the table.

“Brilliant! And The Grand, excellent choice.” Serena grins as she raises her glass to the other happy couple.

The other three do the same and they all clink glasses to toast their upcoming nuptials.

The waiter serves them all their drinks and jots down their food order, leaving them all to talk weddings some more.

Serena and Bernie want a simple ceremony at City Hall, preferably before Christmas and intend to just have all their kids and the two women there. They had thought maybe of The Royal for a nice meal afterwards, perhaps have a few more friends join them in the evening for music and dancing.

“That sounds amazing!” Jo smiles at the couple and can't wait to see them get married.

“Are you thinking of wearing your dress uniform for your day, Al?” Bernie teases her friend.

“You never know.” Alex winks back.

“Yes please Captain Dawson.” Jo whispers softly in her ear and makes Alex blush.

She takes a swig of beer to try to cool down as someone knocks it out of her hand, spilling it all over the table.

“Oh forgive me. I'm terribly sorry. I'll get you another.” The woman fusses over the mess she's made.

“Dr Collins. Hello there.” Bernie and Serena smile at their colleague.

“Ms Wolfe, Ms Campbell. Forgive me for interrupting your meal. Let me just get your friend another beer.” She wanders up to the bar to order Alex another bottle. “There you are, my apologies again. Enjoy your evening.”

They all watch the doctor head back to her table, where she seems to be eating alone.

“Do you think we should invite her to sit with us?” Bernie asks, feeling a little bad for the woman. “I think she felt awful about discharging Lucie.” Bernie speaks softly to Serena. “She couldn't have known and only for her uncovering the truth and calling the police who knows what could have happened.”

“You know, about that...” Serena whispers back, having just remembered something. “....the police never got her call. That's why they only came when I phoned to check where they were. Strange.” Serena shrugs it off but the thought niggles at Bernie.

Across town Kate sits at her dining table trying to work this all out. They had all four women's prints on the note from Lucie and Lucie's herself, plus one unidentified print. She had run it through every known database with no success and Lucie certainly wasn't telling them who her accomplice was. They had just recovered a screen print from the station's CCTV of Lucie's only visitor. This person saw Lucie within the timeframe that would allow for them to retrieve the note from her and plant it in Jo's locker at the hospital. Only problem was, the picture wasn't great and the name they signed in with was bogus.

The sound of her doorbell forces Kate out of her thoughts and she heads to open it.

“Hey.” She smiles when she sees Beth waiting on her doorstep. It was early days but they were working on it. Pulling the blonde in for a quick kiss, she registers the figure behind Beth.

“Mrs Cunningham.” The detective steps away from her girlfriend in shock.

“Katherine.” The older woman eyes her suspiciously.

Kate had managed to convince Beth that she was serious about them this time. She had a feeling that the blonde's grandmother was an entirely different story.

“I'm here to speak with you. I want to know that your intentions with my only granddaughter are honourable. This time.” She looks Kate up and down disapprovingly.

“Of course. Won't you both come in? I'll make us some tea.” She gestures for the women to make themselves at home. “Excuse the mess.” Kate shuffles her papers and starts to tidy the table to let them all sit down when Mrs Cunningham speaks.

“Is that doctor part of your case?” She indicates the photo.

“Nana, you know Kate can't discuss that with you! No matter how convinced you are that she was Cagney to your Lacey, remember?” Beth teases her grandmother.

“Wait, you know who this is?” Kate shows the lady the CCTV still.

“Sure do. She's one of those head doctors from the hospital. Nonsense if you ask me. Never had such a thing in my day.” The old woman stiffens. “What was her name, now let me think... Caldwell... no, something with a C I'm sure of it... Compton.... Collins! That's it Collins.” The older woman smiles victorious against the failings of a diminishing memory.

“Collins... Collins.” Kate searches her papers, she'd seen that before. “She signed off Lucie Jackson to go home. She must be the accomplice.” Kate slaps the paper holding the psychiatrist’s signature with the back of her hand. Kate’s phone rings, startling the three women.

“Winters.” She picks up quickly. “What? No no no. She can't be. She's too dangerous and they were supposed to inform me before anything like this happened. Find out where she is right now and phone Holby City Hospital. I want to speak to Dr Collins right away.” She hangs up and fetches her gun and ID from her safe. 

“Beth do you know where Alex Dawson and Jo Phillips are tonight?”

“Celebrating friends' engagement but I don't know where. Why?” Beth hears the flash of concern in the other woman’s voice.

“Lucie Jackson posted bail two hours ago. I think she'll head straight for them and she probably has this Dr Collins helping her.” Kate heads to the door. “Call Alex and warn them. Do you know the friends' names?”

“Serena and Bernie, they're doctors at Holby too.”

“Serena Campbell and Berenice Wolfe?” Kate remembered interviewing them.

“Yes I think so. I'm coming with you.” Beth tries to follow her girlfriend.

“Absolutely not. Stay here. Stay safe and try to get hold of them. Tell them I'm on my way. No foolish heroism just tell them to wait until I arrive.” Kate wouldn't have Beth in danger.

“You don't even know where to look. Let me help you.” Beth always hated this part of Kate's job, the part that put her in danger.

“No. Please Beth, I need you to stay away. Even if you find out where they are, promise me you will not go there.” Kate straps her gun belt around her waist.

“Be careful. Please.” Beth kisses her and watches her leave.

Meanwhile at the restaurant the two couples were making the most of their evening together, blissfully unaware. They had just finished their starters and were waiting for the main courses to arrive when Alex started to feel a little woozy. She'd only had one beer and a sip of champagne so she tried to shake it off.

“You ok?” Jo leans into her fiancée.

“Yep. Yes. Fine, just a bit tired I guess. Long day.” Alex plays it down and tries to focus on the conversation.

Kate heads towards the hospital first and requests the contact numbers for the two surgeons, briefly explaining the situation. She grabs the details and heads straight back to her car to make the calls.

“I think I might just step out back for some air. I'll be back soon.” Alex stands on slightly wobbly legs and heads towards the small garden behind the restaurant.

“Want me to come with you?” Jo catches her halfway. She can see Alex looks unwell but the brunette tells her not to worry, to go back to their friends.

Once outside Alex starts to lose her balance completely and has to steady herself against one of the benches. Her phone rings in her pocket and she lifts it out to see Beth's name swim all over the screen but can't get her fingers to press the call button.

“You'll not be needing that, Dr Dawson.” Alex feels someone take the phone from her and vaguely realises they're smashing it on the ground.

“What? Who?” Alex's words are slurred and broken, as if her brain can't quite connect to her mouth. She sees the person who took her phone and panic floods her system. She tries to call out but her voice doesn't work at all now. Nor her legs, it would seem as she crashes to the ground, helpless as the figure loams over her.

“The drug my friend here slipped into your beer works fast, huh?” Lucie hovers over Alex with an evil grin of pleasure. “You’ll feel it all but you won't be able to stop me.” Alex sees the blade as Lucie leans down closer but can't move away from it.

“I think I might just go check on Alex.” Jo stands and smiles to the other two before retracing the brunette’s path.

She can't see much in the garden, some of the overhead lights must be broken. She scans around looking for the brunette and looks down to see what the crunching sound was under foot. Alex's phone. Smashed. Jo needs to find her now. “Alex?” She calls out, voice shaky. She sees the two figures then, Alex is on the ground with someone on top of her. “Alex!” Jo runs at the other person intent on getting them off her fiancée, but someone grabs her from behind and covers her mouth. She tries to struggle free but whoever has a hold of her is strong and her ribs start to ache from the tousle.

“Nice of you to join us, Jo-Jo. Now you can watch me take her from you.” Lucie runs the blade over Alex's throat, not too deep but enough to draw blood. Alex feels the pain but can't do anything as her eyes turn to Jo. The redhead fights against the person holding her again, screaming into their hand for Lucie to stop as tears rolls down her face.

Kate tries Alex Dawson’s phone but it goes straight to voicemail. “Damn.” She punches in the next number to try: Berenice Wolfe. “Please, come on. Pick up.”

“Bernie Wolfe.” The blonde picks up after a few rings.

“This is DCI Winters. I need you to tell me where you are right now.” Kate restarts her car ready to move.  
Bernie gives the detective the address. “Are Jo Phillips and Alex Dawson with you? Are they safe?” Kate speeds towards the destination given.

“They're here but they went outside for some air. What's this about?” Bernie catches Serena's eye worried.

“Lucie Jackson is out on bail. She might be headed to you right now. Her and/or her accomplice a Dr Collins.” Bernie’s eyes search the restaurant for the psychiatrist. 

“Dr Collins was here but I don't see her now.” Bernie starts to panic.

“Stay inside. Do not go looking for them. I'm almost with you.” Kate orders.

“The hell I will.” Bernie hangs up. “Call an ambulance.” She instructs Serena over her shoulder and rushes outside.


	43. Chapter 43

Jo bites down hard on the fingers covering her mouth until the woman lets go. “Help!! Someone help please!!!” She screams into the darkness, trying to attract attention. “Get off of her, leave her alone!!” She shouts at Lucie and continues to tug against the arms restraining her, to get to Alex.

“She bit me! The fucking bitch bit me.” Lucie's accomplice shouts to her, voice filled with disbelieving rage. She grips on to Jo more tightly.

“Let go of me!!” Jo screeches as Lucie’s knife makes another pass at Alex's neck. “Stop it!! Please don't hurt her.” Jo pulls with all of her strength, she had to get free. Had to get to Alex before it was too late. “Alex!! Please Lucie. Leave her alone. I'll do anything. Please.” She begs.

“Anything?” Lucie's interest moves to the redhead.

“Whatever you want, just let Alex go.” Jo bargains with Lucie.

Alex makes a noise of protest, trying furiously to shake her head. “No. Jo.” She somehow manages to push the words out, desperate for the redhead not to sacrifice herself.

“No one asked you.” Lucie presses down harder on the blade and Alex moans in agony.

“I'll do it. Whatever you ask. Stop hurting her.” Jo pleads.

“You love her so much you'd agree to that without even knowing what I want from you?” Lucie observes the redhead like that concept is completely beyond her comprehension.

“Yes.” Jo agrees emphatically, terrified for Alex.

“Say it.” Lucie commands.

“Say what?” Jo looks confused.

“You love her.” Lucie stands up slowly then to stare at Jo, head tilted to one side in curiosity.

“I do. I love her. Lucie, please.” Jo looks from her ex to Alex. “I love you.” She blinks away tears as her expression softens watching her fiancée. “I love you, Alex.”

“And you?” Lucie drops down onto Alex's chest again. The weight crushing the air from her lungs. “You love her?”

Alex can only attempt a nod. “Yes.” She breathes out, tears soaking her face. “I love Jo.” The words taking all of her energy. She catches Jo's eye and tries to convey all the love in her heart with one look.

“Enough to die for her?” Lucie’s face twist in anger as she watches Alex.

“NO!!” Jo yells and focuses all of her body’s strength on breaking away from the women trapping her.

“Answer the question, Dr Dawson.” Lucie lifts Alex's face in her hand and turns her to her. “Would you die for her?” She drops the brunette’s head and waits for her answer.

“Yes.” Alex looks straight at Jo as she gives her reply, resigning herself to what Lucie was about to do to her. She felt strangely calm as she waited for the end, as long as she knew Jo wasn't the target.

“Very well, Dr Dawson. That I can help you with.” Lucie lifts the knife then, ready to plunge it into the brunette.

“No, she doesn't mean it. Her answer is no. She wouldn't die for me. She can't. Let her go Lucie. I swear I'll do whatever you want.” Jo looks down at Alex. “Tell her you didn't mean it, Alex. Tell her!”

“Get away from her!!” Bernie charges at Lucie then, rugby tackling her off of Alex. The knife flies out of Lucie’s hand from the force of the blow, as the blonde wrestles her into submission.

“Stop!” Dr Collins calls and Bernie pauses mid punch. “Get off her. Now.” She had pushed Jo away from her and had a gun pointed right at Bernie. “Up!” She waves the end of the gun in an upward motion to signal for Bernie to stand. “Slowly.” She calls when the blonde starts to move.

Bernie turns towards the gun, hands raised in surrender.

“Lucie, you ok?” The psychiatrist calls out to the woman.

“I think she broke my nose.” Lucie gets up and dabs at the end of her nose, seeing blood. She yanks hard on Bernie's curls and pulls her over to stand with Jo. “I don't care how many of you are here to watch, either way the good Dr Dawson has to die.” She feels around in the grass for her knife.

“It won't change anything.” Jo tries to distract her from finding the blade.

“What's that Jo-Jo?” She turns to face the redhead.

“If you kill her, I will never forgive you and I will never be with you. No matter what you do, I'm won't be yours.” Jo spits out at the woman. “I hate you.”

“But all this is for you.” Lucie looks at Jo as if she is the most ungrateful bitch in the world.

“You heard me say it. I love Alex. Not you.” Jo had to get Lucie away from the knife.

Lucie stalks towards the redhead and Bernie steps in front of Jo, squaring up to the woman.

“Bernie!” Serena suddenly steps into the scene and takes in what is going on.

Collins swings around at the shout and fires the gun at the brunette.

“SERENA!!!” Bernie's heart stops beating as she hears the shot and watches Serena crumple to the ground. “Serena...” She doesn't care that Collins still has a gun or that there's a knife lying somewhere, she races over to where Serena fell. Her hands press desperately to the wound, urging it to stop bleeding. “Oh God, please no. Someone call an ambulance!!” Bernie shouts at no one in particular, she can't take her hands away or Serena will bleed out.

“I called them. Just like you said.” Serena smiles at the blonde and reaches up to stroke her unruly curls. “I need you to take care of Ellie and Jason for me.”

“No, you can do that yourself once we get you patched up.” Bernie starts to cry as she watches Serena fade.

“Bernie, we both know I'm not going to make it. Just do as I ask Wolfe.” Serena fights for just one more breath. “I love you.” She chokes out, as her eyes start to drift shut.

“I love you too.” Bernie leans down to kiss the brunette’s lips. “Someone help me please!!” Bernie weeps as she cradles Serena to her. “Please. Serena.”

“Put the gun down Collins!” Kate arrives just a fraction too late, gun trained on the psychiatrist. “Put it down.” Collins knows by the look in the detective’s eye not to challenge her and drops the weapon. “Don't even think about it Ms Jackson. I can shoot you and your friend much faster than you can run away.” Kate sees Lucie consider fleeing in the periphery of her vision. She signals to her officers to cuff the two women, not lowering her gun one millimetre until they're both no longer a threat. “Get the medics in here now!” She bends to relieve Bernie, pulling off her suit jacket to use on Serena’s wound, while the blonde clings to her fiancée.

The paramedics quickly follow and have to pull the blonde away to get to Serena when they arrive. She refuses to let go.

Jo wanders over to hold Bernie as Alex is moved into one of the ambulances. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” She clings to Bernie as she wails and shakes for the brunette. Jo cries right along with her.

“She still has a pulse.” One of the paramedics shouts. “Lets get her to Holby.”

Bernie turns to look at the man. “What?” She pushes to her feet as they place Serena on the stretcher and load her into the other ambulance. “I'm coming with her.” She jumps in beside Serena and watches Jo head over to Alex, before the world wizzes by through the back door of the ambulance, as they race to the hospital. “I'm here Serena. I'm here.” She holds on tightly to her fiancée’s hand and kisses it softly. “Please hang on. Don't leave me.”

Serena’s heart is beating but the bullet is lodged somewhere in her chest cavity, has possibly pierced her lung, so the paramedics have to bag her and push vital air in while they get her to Darwin. Jac Naylor and Mo Effanga wait in theatre for her to arrive.

“Yes we all know the patient, but I expect nothing but everyone's A game, are we clear? Anyone not up to it, get out of my theatre now.” Jac’s steely glare takes the measure of the staff around her. “I want a portable x-ray in here now, we need to see where this bullet is, I'm not having us waste time rummaging around in there. Let's save a life people.”

Bernie waits for news on the other side of the theatre doors, she had called Ellie and Jason with no idea what she was going to tell them when they got there. Kate stays with her and Jo runs between her and Alex to check for an update.

They had taken a sample of Alex's blood to rush through the lab and try to find out what Collins had given her. Given that the woman had the gall to sign the drugs out they hoped they had a fair idea. They had an IV up flushing her system regardless, to try to get rid of all traces of whatever it was, until they knew if they could prescribe anything to counteract the effects. The cuts to her neck were mostly superficial and she was able to talk a little more now. All she did was ask after Serena and Bernie, frustrated that she couldn't sit with her friend.

“Ok, looks like the bullet missed all the good stuff.” Mo quips as Jac opens Serena up to retrieve it and glowers at the other consultant. “Sorry, probably not appropriate. Bullet is lodged between the third and fourth intercostal space.” She highlights the area on the bright screen.

“Alright, Serena. Between us girls, you're the only other woman in this place to match my stubbornness and skill. Let's show them what we're made of.” Jac confides to the brunette on her table. “Mo I need you to monitor the heart while I get this out of her. It's too close for my liking.” Jac sees the bullet but it's dangerously nestled by the surgeon’s heart, it would be unwise to rush pulling it out and risk another bleed, but at this rate Serena would exsanguinate before they repaired the damage if they took too long. “Can we get another 2 units of O neg ready please? We might be here for a while.”

“Bernie? Where's Mum?” Ellie wanders up to the blonde, looking far younger than her 22 years and terrified.

“Yes, Auntie Serena said that she would call me at 10pm to check on the progress of University Challenge but she still hasn't and it's 10.15pm now.” Jason glances at his watch and back up to Bernie. “Where is she Auntie Bernie?” He studies her intently.

“She... I... There was a...” Words fail Bernie as she looks between the two.

“Mum! I was on shift downstairs when they told me...” Cam runs up the corridor towards them all. “... Charlie’s on her way. How is she?”

“Is she in there?” Ellie seems to only just notice the sign indicating ‘Darwin Theatres.’ “Oh God, what happened?” The girl covers her mouth with one hand and tries to stifle a sob.

“Why don't we try to find a quiet room for a minute and we can talk in private?” Kate gently ushers them into a relatives room not far from theatre. “Please everyone take a seat. Can I get tea or coffee for you all?” Kate casts her eye around the group, they all shake their head. “Ms Campbell, Serena, was involved in an incident this evening. Unfortunately she was injured quite badly by a gunshot wound. The doctors have her in theatre and we don't know any more than that right now.” Kate tries to put it as gently as possible. “The doctors have said that they will let us know as soon as they have any news.”

“How bad?” Ellie turns to Bernie.

“The bullet entered somewhere near her heart. She was bleeding a lot but her heart kept beating the whole time, which is good. She's on a machine to help her breathe and she has two of the best working on her, so I'm counting on her to come back to us.” Bernie offers a weak smile, trying to see the positives.

“I'll just leave you all to have some time together.” Kate slips from the room to go sit with Jo and Alex for a while and let Beth know what's happening.

“I need more suction in here please. Can't see a thing.” Jac is slowly working her way to the bullet when blood spurts from somewhere. “There's another tear in here, where the hell is it?”

“I see it on my side. I've got it. You get that bullet out and I'll work on this.” Mo sets to her task.

Both heads jerk up as a monitor starts to beep furiously. “BP's dropping through the floor. She's crashing. Push 10cc of adrenaline. Internal paddles now!” Jac fishes the bullet out seconds before the defibrillator arrives. “Ok, charging to 180. Clear!” Jac shocks Serena's heart directly in her chest. “Did you stitch the wound? Otherwise we'll get nowhere with this.” She glances up to watch Mo nod. “Again, 180. Clear!” Jac watches the screen for any movement. “Again, 200 please. Everybody clear!” Still nothing.

“Jac...” Mo watches the brunette bleed out and shakes her head.

“There must be another wound. You find it and I'll start heart massage.” She reaches in and manually pumps Serena's heart for her. “Ms Effanga, what are you waiting for?”

“She's not coming back from this Jac. We need to stop, inform the family.”

“3 more units of O neg. Now!” Jac screams at the theatre nurses. “If anyone wants to volunteer to tell Major Wolfe that we let her fiancée bleed to death, raise your hand.” Jac challenges every person in the room. “Everyone else. Keep going.”


	44. Chapter 44

“Sonofabitch! If she's not Collins, then who the hell is she?” Kate bellows into her phone. “Track down the real one and we'll talk to her... And another thing, find out which judge thought it was safe to release Lucie Jackson. I want to know what idiot caused all this.” A thought strikes her. “We need to figure out how in God's name those women raised that bail money. Maybe there's someone else bankrolling them.” Kate hangs up furious. “Fuck sake!” She kicks at the first thing her foot reaches in temper, an unsuspecting vending machine. She then hammers on the glass with the end of a closed fist for good measure. “Those goddamn evil bitches.”

“Kate?” Beth stumbles upon her girlfriend's meltdown. Once she'd gotten Kate's call, she'd dropped her grandmother home and come straight in.

“I was too late.... If I'd gotten there even seconds faster, no one would have been hurt.” Kate can't forgive herself for not being there. “That doctor, Serena. She has a daughter. And her nephew has Asperger’s. She's his legal guardian and carer. And because I was so bloody slow, she could die. She could be up there right now bleeding out. What happens to all of them without her?”

“You got there as soon as you could. If you hadn't made the connection, no one would have been there and it could have been much worse.” Beth tries to soothe the other woman. It was one of her things she'd always loved about Kate, she cared so much.

“They were eating dinner for Christ’s sake, celebrating. This shouldn't have happened to any of them.” Kate leans against the vending machines, fighting not to let her anger cloud her judgement.

“Is there any news on Serena yet?” Beth rubs her hand along the length of Kate's arm. The detective just shakes her head.

“Lucie Jackson has motive but what does Collins, or whoever she is, get out of Alex Dawson’s death?” Kate wonders out loud. “Someone somewhere knows who she is, we need to figure out how she's connected to all this. She must have crossed paths with Lucie some time in the last 18 months, when she got back here looking for Jo.”

“Why don't you head home, get some rest? You can't figure it all out tonight on no sleep.” Beth tries to encourage Kate to take it easy. “You're not even on duty.”

“I want to wait for word on Serena.” She felt responsible for what had happened to her. “Listen, Beth I've been thinking about everything between us.” She gestures between herself and the blonde.

“Are you breaking up with me again? Seriously, you think now is a good time for this? When I was worried sick about you running off to play the hero again!” Beth feels anger bubble up inside.

“What? No no no. That's not what I'm trying to say.” Kate waves her hands to signal that she wasn't even thinking that. “I've never been happier, now that we're together again. I never should have let you go in the first place.” Kate grabs Beth’s hand in her own. “I wasn't honest with you and I'm sorry for that. I wanted kids with you. I wanted everything with you. I always have. Marriage, nice house, as many kids as we could imagine, growing old together -”

“So why did you... I don't understand.” Beth can't believe she's heard the other woman right.

“My job is dangerous, Beth. I'm always ‘running off to play hero’ like you said and I come across a lot of bad people. A lot of bad people. People who would hurt the people I care about without a second thought. I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to you. If we had kids they'd be targets too. Not to mention that if anything happened to me, you'd be left to raise them by yourself. I couldn't ask that of you.” Kate refuses to meet Beth's eye.

“You lied to me.” Beth wrenches her hand free of Kate's grip.

“I know. I'm sorry.” Kate flushes, ashamed of her behaviour.

“You think that makes it ok? You're sorry! You kept this from me, and the past few weeks we've been together again and talking things through.... You were never going to tell me, were you?” Beth jabs at the other woman’s chest with an accusatory finger.

“I don't know.” Kate tells her the truth.

“You are unbelievable.” Beth huffs, indignant at Kate's deception.

Kate reaches for her but Beth pulls away.

“Don't. Just don't touch me.” Beth turns to walk away from the detective before spinning back to say something else. “I was heartbroken when you told me you didn't want kids. Five years together counted for nothing. What was your plan? Just hope I'd rebuild my life, find someone else and forget you. I loved you! And you were off making all of my decisions, OUR decisions without me.” Beth fights the tears swimming in her eyes. “Stay away from me.” Beth does walk away then and doesn't look back to see Kate's anguished face, as she cries for losing the blonde all over again.

She practically stomps the whole way up to visit Alex, wiping at angry tears as she goes. When a nurse points her to the right room, she has to stop at the door and watch the scene. In almost an exact reversal of how she'd first seen them together, the couple are smiling at each other, one in the hospital bed and the other by their side, with hands joined. They had been through so much that Beth couldn't help but think of how unfair it all was. And yet here they were still going strong. Very much in love. Her mind instantly flashed to Kate.

“Beth, hello.” Jo had caught her watching them.

“Hi. I hope you don't mind. Kate called and told me what happened. I just wanted to check on you all. Can I get you something to drink or anything?” She tries to smile but her thoughts are stuck on Kate.

“We're fine. Thank you.” Jo smiles and turns back to watch over Alex.

“Serena?” Alex wonders if the blonde had heard anything.

“No word yet, as far as I know.” Beth drops her head, suddenly fascinated by her own shoes. “Do you want me to sit with Alex for a while and you can check on your friends?” She asks Jo. The redhead glances at Alex who nods that she should go.

“Send my love.” She lets Jo kiss her gently and watches her leave.

Bernie was pacing frantically as she waited for an update on Serena. She hated herself for not listening to DCI Winters, if she hadn't run off outside Serena would never have come looking for her. Then again, if she'd stayed put Alex would very likely have been killed and heaven knows what Lucie and Collins had planned to do with Jo. She may well have saved her best friend but her fiancée was now fighting for her life. She couldn't stand to even consider that she might lose Serena. What had she done?

“Bernie, why don't you come downstairs with me and we'll take a look at those hands, eh?” Fletch had been sent up to find her because she had some abrasions, mostly from punching Lucie.

“It's fine. I'm fine. No need.” Bernie brushed him off with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“You might need stitches -”He tries again.

“Leave it Fletch, I'm not going anywhere!” Bernie loses it with the nurse. “She's in there because of me!” She flings her arm out to point at the theatre door. “I'm not moving until someone tells me she's alright.”

“This wasn't your fault.” Fletch rubs her arm gently.

“You weren't there, she followed after me. Straight into the path of that madwoman's bullet. If I'd just stayed inside...” Bernie stands defeated and exhausted.

“You did this to her?!” Ellie catches their attention as she walks up behind them. “She could die because of you!!” 

“Ellie I -” Bernie tries to hold the young woman.

“No! My Mum could be dying in there and you... you are supposed to love her, look after her. When she comes round, I don't want you anywhere near her!” Ellie’s face is like thunder.

“Easy on, Ellie.” Fletch tries to intervene.

“I'm next of kin. She doesn't get to see Mum. I don't want her here.” The young woman asserts.

They are interrupted then by the doors swinging open and Jac Naylor strides towards them. Ellie calls Jason out of the relatives room to hear the news too. Cam had been forced to go back to finish his shift and Charlie had gone to fetch drinks for everyone.

“She's stable. We're setting her up on ICU. Her heart stopped on the table, the bullet must have ricocheted and there were a few tears but Mo managed to repair them. Luckily the bullet didn't seriously damage the heart or lungs so I think she'll make a full recovery, given time to heal. She's still not conscious or breathing on her own yet but I'd hope it's only a matter of time. You're more than welcome to sit with her, one at a time. I'll show you up.” Jac leads them to the lifts to take them to Serena's room.

Bernie moves to step onto the lift to join them but Ellie blocks her path.

“You are not welcome here. She's not to see my Mum.” She turns to Jac.

“Miss Campbell, I really don't think now is the time -” Even Jac can see that Ellie is being unreasonable.

“I will make a complaint if I have to.” Ellie stands firm.

“Very well.” Jac hits the button for ICU, her eyes apologising to Bernie.

Bernie slumps deflated as the doors close in her face.

“I don't think that was very kind Ellie. Auntie Bernie loves Auntie Serena. She wants to see her just as much as we do.” Jason tries to stand up for the blonde.

“Don't call her that.” She snaps at her cousin.

Jo finds a devastated Bernie crying her eyes out in the relatives room. “Oh God, what's happened? Is it Serena?” She sits softly beside the blonde and hugs her tightly.

“She won't let me see her.” Bernie cries into the redhead's shoulder.

“Who won't?” Jo shushes the blonde gently.

“Ellie doesn't want me near Serena.” Bernie sniffs loudly. “She's pulled through and when she wakes up, I won't be there.” Bernie pulls up to look at Jo, utterly heartbroken.

“We can't have that. We'll let her calm down and then we'll make her see sense.” Jo wipes away the blonde's tears. “Shall we go and let Alex know?” Jo smiles warmly at Bernie, who nods numbly. They find Charlie on the way and bring her with them.

Both Beth and Alex look up expectantly when the three women come into the room. Alex fears the worst when she sees her friend’s face.

“She's as well as can be expected. They moved her to ICU.” Jo explains. “Bernie’s just upset because Ellie isn't allowing her to see Serena.”

“What?!” Alex’s fist clenches in temper.

“I'll just go and let you all talk.” Beth feels like she probably shouldn't be here for this.

As she makes her way back out, she sees Kate still waiting for news and she can't help but love her for it. “She's ok. In ICU but it looks like she's going to be alright.”

“Thank God.” Beth can almost see a weight lift from the detective’s shoulders. “I'll call it in and go home.” She stands, stretching her neck from side to side trying to work out the knots from sitting so long. “Goodnight then.” She looks sadly at Beth for a moment and starts to walk away.

Beth thinks back to Jo and Alex, they had almost lost one another again tonight. Bernie could have lost her fiancée. Beth doesn't want to lose Kate. She grabs Kate's wrist to stop her from leaving and her heart makes the next move.

They don't notice the people milling past as they stay locked in a deep kiss until they have to come up for air. They smile brightly at each other and walk hand in hand out to Kate's car to go home together.


	45. Chapter 45

“Kate...” Beth is surprised to find that her lungs are still working enough to sigh out the name, as her hands fist tight balls in the sheet underneath her. Kate was very enthusiastically apologising for the previous night's confession. An apology that was quickly resulting in Beth's 4th orgasm of the morning and it was barely 7.30am. Here she was, sprawled out on the detective’s sheets, sweaty and panting, while a wildly energetic Kate was between her thighs, inside her. Not that she was complaining. Moaning rather loudly, but definitely not complaining. Legs wrapped tightly around her lover’s waist and head thrown back in ecstasy, the moan only deepens when Kate's tongue finds the hollow between her collarbones and licks a hot trail up her throat to her chin. “Kiss me. Oh dear God, kiss me. Please.” Beth knew she was about to cum and she desperately wanted Kate's lips on hers in that moment.

Kate smiles into Beth's jaw and willingly obliges the goddess lying below her. The sounds of Beth's release are lost inside her mouth, as Kate works her fingers in and out of the blonde. Beth breaks the seal of their lips as the force of her orgasm tilts her head back and arches her spine. She grips Kate strongly with her thighs, as her toes curl divinely. It takes a few minutes for her to come back to the room, as Kate gently kisses her neck and slows the fingers inside her. “Good morning, beautiful.” Kate whispers the words into her skin with a smile.

“Uggghnnn.” Is all Beth can respond with, while she waits for her faculties to return and the aftershocks to cease. Kate just chuckles into her shoulder. “Helpful, thank you.” Beth fake berates her and swats playfully at the detective. “You did this to me.” She tries to steady her breathing with big lungfuls of air.

“You're welcome.” Kate sits up a little to look at Beth, a smug expression on her face.

“Proud of yourself?” Beth pinches softly at the other woman’s side as she slips her legs back down to the bed.

“Uh huh. Very.” Kate kisses her tenderly. “Just think, if you moved back in we could do this every morning.” She trails the tip of her tongue up the side of Beth's neck, as she suggestively wriggles the fingers still inside of the blonde. The taste of Beth's sweat in her mouth egging her on.

Beth’s responding groan is half ready to go again, half desperate for a break. “I'd barely survive a week if we did this every morning.” She could not take a 5th round, she was sure of it.

Kate pulls up and fixes her with a serious look. “I mean it, I want you to move back in with me.” She runs the outside of her pointer finger along the blonde's cheek.

“Kate...I...it's only been a few weeks. This is the first time we've had sex since we got back together. Unless you count the side room at the hospital.” Beth blushes at the memory.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Kate moves off the bed and heads for the shower, obviously stung by Beth's rejection.

“Kate, please...I...” Beth calls to her departing back. 

“Forget it. I have to get ready for work.” She throws a flyaway gesture over her shoulder with one hand and slams the bathroom door shut behind her.

Beth sits up in the bed, sheet pulled up to her chest. She hears the sound of the shower running and knows Kate isn't coming back out to talk about this. Fine, she'd go to her then...

Kate has her back to the door, standing under the spray of the shower, scrubbing furiously at her body. Even from behind, Beth can tell she is scowling.

“Kate.” Beth opens the shower door to step in with her.

“Don't Beth.” Kate stops her mid step.

“Kate. Please. Talk to me.” She places a hand on the detective’s wet back but Kate shrugs it away.

“It's fine. I get it. Kate Winters: ok for a quick fuck, lousy for anything more. No one to blame but myself really. I lied to you and you don't trust me anymore. Why should you?” Beth’s heart breaks when she hears the pain in Kate's voice. “Well I guess you've had your fill. Excuse the expression. You can go find some nice, normal woman and ride off into the sunset with her.” Kate brushes angrily at the tears on her cheeks as she turns off the shower, bracing herself for having to face Beth. She tries to get past her to grab for her towel but Beth refuses to budge.

“You're not just a ‘quick fuck’ to me, I trust you with my life and you know it.” Beth cups Kate's face in her hands.

“Do I?” Kate won't look at her. She can't.

“Well, you should.” Beth kisses her deeply but Kate doesn't reciprocate. “Ask me again.”

“Beth...” Kate's tone is a warning not to mess with her emotions.

“Ask me again.” Beth brings her face down to meet Kate's eyes. “Please.”

Kate hesitates, unsure of her answer. “Will you move in with me?” Her eyes dart back and forth across Beth's face.

“Yes.” Beth answers almost before she finishes the question.

“Yes?” Kate can't hide the stunned look on her face. Beth's only reply is to push her back into the shower and kiss it away. She reaches behind Kate to start the water again and both yelp as it takes a minute to warm back up. They smile into another passionate kiss.

“I love you, Kate.” Beth places the detective’s hand over her heart and rests hers on top. “I am so in love with you.” Beth looks at her and Kate can feel that it's true.

“And I love you. I love you so much.” Kate whispers into another kiss. “Beth...”

They make love again in the shower, before Kate drops Beth back to her place to get changed and takes her to fetch her car at the hospital. Kate decides to check on the two couples while she's here.

“Miss Campbell, I can fully appreciate where you're coming from, but your mother has just had a very serious operation. She needs complete rest and as much love and support as you ALL can give her. What she does not need, however, is to wake up and find that you've shut her fiancée out of her hospital room.” Jac casts a glance at a forlorn Bernie Wolfe standing up against the closed door that had once again been shut in her face by the annoying and selfish Elinor Campbell. “She needs a stress free environment and I can assure you she will very much want to see Ms Wolfe when she comes round.” Jac folds her arms over her chest, fixing the young woman with her icy glare.

Bernie had sat outside in the corridor all night while Elinor refused to let her in. She would not move, even as she cried for her fiancée from the wrong side of the door. Here she was now, still crying and hand pressed against the glass of Serena's door. When the brunette woke up, she would know Bernie was here one way or another.

Jac was keeping an eye on Serena’s obs whenever she had the chance. Even she thought that Ellie's treatment of Bernie was childish and uncalled for. “Miss Campbell, your mother is also going to need a lot of care at home when she’s fit enough to leave. She will have Ms Wolfe with her then, you're really not achieving anything here...” Jac fought to keep her temper even.

“Ms Wolfe?” Kate seemed confused to see the woman flush against the outside of Serena’s door. “It's DCI Winters, I came to see how Ms Campbell is.” She guides Bernie back over to take a seat.

“Your guess is as good as mine. Serena's daughter blames me for what happened. She won't let me in her room and she's asked the doctors not to update me.” Bernie rests her head between her knees, willing the fresh wave of tears to abate.

“I see. Will you excuse me for just a second?” Kate walks up to the door and knocks gently. “Forgive the intrusion. I'm looking for Ms Campbell’s daughter. I'd like to ask her a few questions. I'm DCI Winters, the detective in charge of the investigation.”

“That's me.” Ellie stands to come over to the police officer. ‘Elinor Campbell.”

“Is there somewhere a bit more private we could chat? I just wanted to go through some of your mother's movements from yesterday, update you on where we are. That sort of thing.” Kate pretends to check her phone just then. “Excuse me. I'll be right back.” She nods to the women inside and closes the door behind her. “Winters...” She feigns answering her phone to keep up the rouse, before heading back to Bernie. “I'll keep her busy for 15, maybe 20 minutes. You go and sit with Serena. I'll call your mobile when we're on our way back.” Kate smiles down at the blonde.

“Thank you.” Bernie forgets herself and stands to hug Kate. “Oh sorry.”

“It's fine. You should be able to see your own fiancée...” Kate squeezes her shoulder kindly. “Ok, Miss Campbell. If you could come with me. I think there's a relative's room free down this way.” Kate throws a quick wink at Bernie and leads Ellie away from Serena's room.

Bernie slips into the room and sits beside Serena once they're gone. She holds Serena's hand while she watches Jac check the brunette over.

“She's a right brat.” Jac throws her head towards the door to signal that she means Ellie. “I'll keep trying to talk her round.”

“Thanks Jac. How is she?” Bernie looks back to Serena.

“You know I can't tell you.” Bernie's face falls. “But if I just happen to leave her chart open right here in front of you, it can't be helped if you just happen to read it.” Jac gives Bernie a smug look. “I will say that everything looks good and I'd expect her to wake up soon. Voluntary breath sounds increasing on both sides, we'll probably extubate her soon.” Jac removes her stethoscope and slings it back around her neck. “I'll leave you to it. Enjoy the light reading I've left for you.” Jac heads off to let one of the nurses know that Serena seems to have started breathing on her own, and to page her when she's ready to come off the ventilator.

“This all looks fine, my love.” Bernie flicks through the chart with one hand, gently squeezing Serena’s with the other. “I miss you. I love you. I'm so sorry this happened. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to you waking up. Forgive me for not being there when you do. I would give anything to be here when you open your eyes again. To be the first person you see.” Bernie stands to kiss the brunette’s forehead softly and a few stray tears drop onto Serena's face.

She sits with Serena for a while longer, running her thumb across the back of her hand and kissing it every so often. She tells her that Jo and Alex are doing great, Alex should get home in the next couple of days. She says Jason will be up to see her on his lunch break, and apologises and cries a bit more when she explains that she's not sure when she'll see her again. She puts the chart back and quickly kisses as much of Serena's face as she can, before heading back outside to sit after she gets Kate's call. Ellie glares at her on the way back in.

“How's she doing?” Kate sits beside Bernie.

“She should wake up soon. Thank you for doing that.” Bernie smiles weakly at the other woman.

“My pleasure. I'm sorry for the timing but I have to ask. Do you know how long Dr Collins has worked here?” Kate puts it to the blonde.

“She started in maybe February or March. HR might get you an exact start date.” Bernie couldn’t be sure.

“So after Lucie Jackson came back, right?” Bernie nods at that.

“Do you recognise Dr Collins from anywhere before she started working here? Had you seen her before? Ever notice her spending any time with Lucie?”

“Only I assume when she assessed her after her fake suicide attempt. Other than that, no I've never seen Dr Collins before and never with Lucie Jackson.” Bernie tells the detective everything she can. “What's this about? How do they even know each other?”

“That's what I'm going to find out.” Kate promises. “But we just found out that the woman you all knew as Dr Collins, is someone else. I'll be in touch if I have anything more Ms Wolfe. I hope Serena continues to improve and call me if you need to have her daughter arrested. I'm sure I can think of something...” Kate smiles and shakes the surgeon’s hand before heading to Alex's room.

Bernie sits back down, trying to take in the information that Kate had just shared and make sense of this whole mess. She is startled from her thoughts by Ellie rushing into the corridor.

“I think she's waking up! Someone help please!” The nurse pages Jac and runs into Serena's room to keep her calm until Ms Naylor gets there.

Jac is there in seconds and pushes into the room, as poor Bernie watches through the glass. “Ok Serena. It's Jac Naylor. I'm going to remove the tube for you. Big coughs. That's it, almost there.” Jac gently takes the tube out as Serena coughs and splutters and gags. “Well now, Ms Campbell. You gave us all a bit of a scare for a while there.” Jac takes Serena's pulse, listens to her chest and flashes her penlight into each eye to be sure. “Do you know where you are, what happened to you?”

Serena nods. “Must be Holby if you're here Naylor. Some crazy woman shot me, right?”

“I see our attempts to remove your dry wit failed miserably.” Jac smiles at her colleague. “Welcome back Serena. I'll be back in a little while to keep an eye on you.”

“Where's Bernie?” Serena asks as Jac fires Ellie an ‘I told you’ smirk. “She wasn't hurt too, was she?” Serena panics but Jac just points to the door.

Serena smiles when she sees her gorgeous fiancée tight against the glass of her door, Bernie rolls her fingers slightly as a wave to the brunette. The smile fades as she takes in the tears streaming down Bernie's cheeks, the hand up on the pane trying to reach out to her. “Why isn't she coming in? Why is she out there and not in here?” Serena looks confused as her eyes ask Jac and Ellie what on Earth is going on.

“I'll let your selfish, immature little darling of a daughter explain that one.” Jac narrows her eyes at the young woman before turning on her heel and striding out. “She's fine. And something tells me it won't be long before you're allowed in now.” Jac squeezes Bernie's shoulder on the way past, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Ellie?” Serena looks furious as she waits for an explanation.


	46. Chapter 46

“YOU DID WHAT?!” Even Bernie winces and screws up her face for Ellie, when Serena's enraged voice reaches her on the other side of the door. “Please tell me this is a joke, Ellie!!”

“It's her fault you're in here -” Ellie tries to defend her actions. Wrong thing to do.

“Oh really? Because from where I was standing, Dr Collins shot me. Not Bernie!” Serena seethes at her daughter's cruel behaviour.

“You need to stay calm Mum. It's not good for you to get worked up.” Ellie looks sheepishly at the floor.

“Stay calm she says! You march out there right this instant, apologise to Bernie and bring her in here. NOW!!” Serena points sharply at the door. “And one more thing...” Ellie turns back, halfway to the door. “...if even Jac Naylor knows you're being unreasonable, it's time to rethink your choices. I expect better from you young lady.”

Ellie hunches her shoulders as she heads outside, tail firmly between her legs. “I'm sorry, Bernie.” She mumbles, head hung in shame. “You can come in now.”

She spins back round to go back to her Mum, Bernie in tow.

“Hi.” Bernie shifts her weight from foot to foot, looking awkward and uncomfortable. Serena's eyes fill with tears for the woman she loves, forced to skulk in the corridor like some stranger.

“Bernie, come here. Please.” Serena stretches out her arms to the blonde.

Bernie doesn't need a second invitation, as she wraps Serena up in her arms and kisses her soundly. Neither remembers that Ellie is even there as they lose themselves in the kiss. “I'm so glad you're ok.” Bernie sobs into Serena's mouth, tears clinging to her cheeks. “I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I love you.”

“I know, my love. I love you too.” Serena beams as she rests her forehead against the blonde's. “What about Jo and Alex?” Serena leans away, eyes shining with concern.

“Both fine. Alex will be discharged soon, maybe tomorrow or the day after.” Bernie says she can fetch Jo if Serena wants to see her, but Serena pulls her back down and says it can wait. “I'm so sorry I caused this.”

“Hush now, sweetheart. You did no such thing. You were protecting our friends and you're not responsible for any of this.” Serena starts to look tired and her face pales in pain.

“I'll get Jac to check your pain meds. Rest now.” Bernie kisses her and stands to leave.

“No, stay. Will you stay?” The look on Serena’s face makes it impossible to say no.

“Of course.” Bernie scrapes the chair closer to sit with Serena and holds her hand.

“I'll go ask someone about the pain relief.” Ellie offers. “I'm so sorry, Mum, Bernie. I was just so scared and I behaved badly. Forgive me.” The young woman looks to the couple, eyes wet with unshed tears.

“It's fine, Ellie. Consider it forgotten.” Bernie speaks to the girl but she never takes her eyes off Serena, a soft look of adoration on her face.

She leaves the two women to it.

“As soon as Jac or whoever comes back, tell them I want to change my records. I want you to be next of kin.” Serena struggles to stay awake.

“Don't worry about that now. Sleep, darling.” Bernie strokes Serena hair off of her forehead as she lulls her to sleep.

“I love you.” Serena's smiles sleepily and tries to keep her eyes open. She just wants to see Bernie's beautiful face for a while longer. “Stay with me.”

“I'm not going anywhere.” Bernie drops a kiss to the inside of Serena's wrist. “I love you so much, Serena.”

The last thing Serena sees, before she gives into the tiredness, is Bernie smiling at her and she feels calm and safe as she falls asleep.

Kate wraps her knuckles gently against the door to Alex’s room before hearing someone call her in. “Sorry to interrupt...” She smiles at Alex and Jo as she stands in the doorway. “....I was just checking on your friends and I thought I'd come see how you both are.”

“How's Serena? Has Bernie seen her yet?” Alex asks immediately.

“She's much better, should be awake soon. And I may have had a hand in a covert operation to get Bernie in to see her.” She smiles and steps further into the room, as both women furrow their brows, puzzled. “I just called the daughter away for some questions so she could sneak in for a while.” She shrugs as she explains.

“You did?” The three woman glance in the direction the voice came from. Beth stands smiling widely at the detective, she was always touched by word of Kate's kindness towards the people she helped, but rarely got to see it first hand. The other women couldn't fail to notice the looks exchange by the pair, knowing smiles on both their faces. Beth and DCI Winters were very much in love with each other.

“Hey, Beth. Didn't see you there.” Kate scratches the back of her neck, suddenly shy that her good deed had been found out by the blonde. She would never seek out praise, it wasn’t the reason she did it, and always felt a bit awkward at being caught out.

“As luck would have it, my first case was here, so I thought I'd check in on all our patients.” She smiles at the other couple and turns her attention back to Kate. “And imagine my delight at finding my favourite detective here too. She really is quite something.” She runs her hand over the lapel of Kate's suit jacket, before tugging on it and dragging Kate in for a soft, slow kiss.

Jo and Alex exchange a look and squeeze each other’s hand, before Alex clears her throat and causes Kate and Beth to part.

“Ahem, yes. Right. Sorry.” Kate flushes with embarrassment. “I actually wanted to ask you both...” Kate pulls on the edges of her jacket to signify her being firmly back in DCI mode. “...had either of you known Dr Collins previously or remembered her from anywhere outside of working here?”

“I only do the odd locum shift here from time to time. Can't say I'd ever met her before last night.” Alex replies.

“And I have crossed paths with her occasionally at work but we never really spoke. I met her briefly for the first after Lucie was admitted.” Jo follows up.

“You don't know how she came to be associated with Lucie Jackson?” Kate asks.

“As far as I knew, she only met Lucie when she was hospitalised after her fake overdose. I can't say she ever mentioned her before or since. I didn't know they knew each other at all.” Jo confirms.

“You should know that the woman posing as Dr Collins is in fact not her. We checked with the real Dr Collins' university alumni office and the hospital where she trained, they had never seen the woman in the CCTV picture before, but were certain that she wasn't Collins. We're working on finding the real Collins, in case she can shed some light on the woman's identity.” Kate fills the pair in. “Given that Lucie Jackson’s target was you, Dr Dawson, we have to assume that there is some reason why this fake Collins was helping her. She must have some motive for wanting you out of the way. Can you think of anyone who would want to hurt you? Enemies? Disgruntled co-workers? Anyone at all?”

“Not that I can think of. I was stationed abroad with the RAMC for the past 15 years. I only came home about 10 months ago.” Alex tells the detective.

“You served for some of that time with Ms Wolfe, I take it?” Kate remembers Bernie mentioning that briefly before.

“For about 8 of those years, yes. We were a couple, I guess you could say, for almost 5 years. It ended maybe two and a half years ago. We'd remained friends and kept in touch since she came home 18 months ago and met Serena.” Alex gives all the information she can.

“No jealous ex-lovers, other officers who might have known or unrequited crushes vying for yours or Ms Wolfe's affections? Bitter husbands or anything you can think of? Not matter how insignificant it might seem, it could be relevant.” Kate pushes.

“No one knew, that we were aware of. We kept it completely secret. I gather Marcus, Bernie's ex-husband, wasn't happy but he's not the kind of person to do this. They have children, he wouldn't be involved in something like this.” Alex really can't think of anyone.

“You're an anaesthetist, correct?” Kate looks to Alex who nods. “Ever have a surgery go badly, lose a life where the family reacted angrily, blamed you?”

“We lost many of our comrades in the field and patients die. It's the nature of the beast, but no case sticks out, I can't say I've ever had a run in with family members.” Alex wracks her brain, trying to remember if there had been anyone.

“That's ok. I won't keep you any longer. I'll send a few of my officers to take full statements from all of you in the coming few days. You have my number if you need me and I'll update you when I can.” Kate shakes their hands and heads out.

“Detective Winters?” Jo stops her in her departure. 

“Thank you for all your help and for what you did for Bernie.” Alex nods her agreement.

Kate nods and offers a small smile. Beth brushes her hand against Kate's as she passes her, whispering softly in her ear. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I'll call you later.” Kate quickly kisses the blonde’s temple and then she's gone.

“So, you two seem to have patched things up.” Alex winks at her friend.

“You could say that.” Beth smiles with a dreamy look in her eye. “She asked me to move back in this morning.”

“And you said...? Although do I need to ask, given the soppy look on your loved up face?” Alex teases the blonde.

“I said yes. Obviously.” Beth grins like a fool. “You don't think it's too soon, do you? No, don't answer that. I don't care. Christ, I love her.” Beth rambles nervously.

“I think it's great, you two are good together.” Alex settles Beth's anxiety.

“I agree.” Jo chips in. “I mean that kiss...” Alex and Jo chuckle as Beth covers her face with her hands, embarrassed.

“I think that's my cue to leave. You're all keeping well? How about Serena?” Beth asks.

“Seems like she should wake up soon.” Jo smiles.  
“Actually, I might walk you out Beth and go see her. If that's ok?” She stands when Alex nods and kisses her deeply before heading out with Beth. “I'll be back soon.” She blows Alex another kiss as she goes, making the brunette smile.

“She adores you.” Beth gently nudges the redhead with a smile. “You make a lovely couple.”

“Thanks. You and DCI Winters are clearly very happy.” Jo returns the compliment. “When all this blows over, we should all go out.” She offers kindly.

“Sounds like a plan.” Beth enthuses, hugging the redhead quickly. “Take care.” She takes the stairs down to the exit, letting Jo have the lift.

Jo gives Bernie a little wave through the glass in Serena’s door when she sees the brunette is sleeping. “How's she doing?” She whispers to the blonde as Bernie peeks her head out.

“Much better. Breathing by herself and awake. Well, apart from now, I think she's just exhausted.” Bernie updates the redhead. “She'll have to stay admitted for a few weeks but at least she's conscious. I really thought I'd lost her...”

“She's gonna be fine. A few weeks from now, she'll be up and about, you guys will be planning your wedding. It's all worked out ok.” Jo tries to reassures her with a quick hug. “I'm so sorry for Lucie and whoever that Collins woman really is -”

“This wasn't your fault, Jo.” Bernie sounds sure but Jo feels responsible. “Do you hear me, none of this is on you? Those women did this, no one else.”

“Thank you for saving Alex. If you'd waited for the police, I know Lucie would have...” Jo can't say it. “I'm sorry Serena got caught up in the middle but I can't thank you enough.” Jo's eyes shine with unshed tears.

“How is she?” Bernie asks after her friend.

“Good. They're going to discharge her tomorrow and we both have some time off, so we can just rest for a couple of weeks. Hopefully no more crazy people will come after us.” Jo offers the blonde a wry smile.

“Yes, the would be nice.” Bernie squeezes Jo's upper arm kindly. “Why don't I text you or Alex when she's awake? I'm sure she'd love to see you.”

“Perfect. I'll let you get back to sitting with her. Give her our love.” The two women hug and kiss on the cheek.

“And ours to Alex.” Bernie replies.

Jo wanders back to Alex to give her the good news, so thankful that they're all ok.

“Those two are still not giving us anything. If we could just get one of them to give up the other.” Kate sits down wearily at her desk. Lucie and Collins weren't cooperating and it was grating on her last nerve.

“Gov, I think we've found her.” One of her officers throws a file down in front of her, address pinned to the cover.

“The real Collins?” Kate looks up hopefully as the officer nods. “Let's go talk to her. They'll have to talk if we find out our Collins’ real identity. I just hope she can give it to us.” Kate flings her jacket on and signals to the officer to come with her. This could be the break they needed or a wild goose chase, Kate was praying for the former.


End file.
